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SumYungGui posted:What magical world do you live in where this is true?
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Jan 7, 2015 09:15
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| # ? Dec 8, 2024 03:28 |
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It took the mouthbreathing personnel retards at my batallion 9 loving months to get my paperwork straight to pin E-5 after passing the promotion board. They had it in a pile stuffed between some filing cabinets, and were swearing up and down they had passed the paperwork up higher and it wasn't their fault at all.
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Jan 7, 2015 09:22
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HRC told 35T's 798 promotion points for so many years when I was in that I finally stopped looking and started working on certs to get out. Every guy I ever worked with across every unit I was in that went to the board was the same dumb bullshit space-filler waste of time so some rear end in a top hat SNCO or officer could change the color of an Excel box from red to green. One guy that I ever knew got promoted to E5, after being in for 7 years. Boards are a bizarre, pointless, hosed-in-the-head ritual and promotion points are really good at suffocating any desire to perform. I may be bitter because I had some dreams crushed by the promotion system and spent years having some new dumb fucker come along every few weeks to tell me what I needed to do to get promoted.
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Jan 7, 2015 09:26
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Points are for peasants.
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Jan 7, 2015 18:55
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Vasudus posted:I don't think COAs counted anyway. I was talking about real awards though. Dudes got hella jelly in the 90s and wouldn't let real awards given in wartime situations count because it was an "unfair advantage". This. Right here. Like I've said before, that shamming gently caress who managed to skate out of every deployment shouldn't be held back for promotion just because some rock-headed motherfucker who was too stupid or didn't have the juice to avoid going off to some shithole filled with mudpeople where he could have gotten his rear end shot off earned a bunch of medals for bullshit bravery and poo poo. And if anything points should be deducted from female troops who have any award that doesn't start with "sucked cock of..." because obviously her leadership just wanted that snail trail leaving bitch to get awards to shame real heroes like him. NCO's are gay. Officers are gay. Medals are gay. Garrison is gay. Peacetime is gay. Army is gay. My unit had a habit of just laterally promoting E-4's who were in leadership positions and having them wear E-5 rank (It was called Acting Jack, don't know if the Army still does it) to fill leadership slots, so there was like 30 of us who had been E-4 for like a year or so, or needed to be actually promoted to hold our job positions. The cocksuckers in 15th Ord Bt were raising hell about Group being all hosed up TO&E-wise, so they had to send tons of us to the board. And I got selected. What dumbass decided it was a good idea to take a complete maniac, who hadn't been back to the unit in 3 months, who'd just choked out an Air Force officer in front of God and everyone, and send him to the promotion board, I'll never loving know. But they took my field-rat rear end and put my name on the list. When I first got there, I was OK. A full nights sleep, a shower, food that wasn't an MRE. Sure, my Class-A's were hosed up (too small, still had E-2 rank sewn on, only had the medals I showed up in the unit with, had to wear my cruit boots because my class-A loafers didn't fit any more because now I was a real boy) and I was hosed up mentally and physically, but my unit had to send me to the board or get dynamite and send an E-5/E-6 out to Atlas who was currently enjoying a cush rear job, and there wasn't an NCO in the loving Army who wanted to be sent to that death-trap. I was OK, at first. But by the time I was called in, I was in full of psychotic break mode trying to decide if that female E-4 clicking her tongue in time to the clock's second hand was really a human being or an alien communicating with the clock. It was a goddamn travesty. I was in full psychotic mode, obviously unprepared, with ate the gently caress up Class-A's, that hosed up right from the beginning. Knock on the door three times? gently caress that. Barge in and demand to know what the gently caress those fat fucks called me back for, because I actually have to deal real work, like a goddamn real soldier, and not some clock watching REMF who's weight could be mistaken for their promotion points. It went downhill from there. During the questions phase of my promotion board I started quoting lines from Heavy Metal. In my defense, I'd watched it the night before, and was having a nervous breakdown. "What does AR-670-1 cover?" "All the times I sold dope disguised as a nun!" "What's the maximum range of an M-16A1?" "The First Sergeant's pre-schooler prostitute ring!" "Are you sure that's your answer?" "I've got an angle Charlie!" The SGM from CosCom could barely breathe, he was trying to choke back something. He'd been out to the site the month before on an inspection, so he already knew I was a maniac. He'd been there when I choked that motherfucking werewolf out and had my squad help throw him in the mud outside the gate and told the German guards to shoot his shape-shifting rear end if he tried to sneak back in as a dog or whatever. Luckily for me my pager went off while they were yelling some poo poo at me that I was ignoring and trying to figure out which one of the upper-NCO's at the promotion board was the werewolf, because I knew that one of them had to be a werewolf. They were everywhere. And sneaky. And all those guys at that table were fat. I'll bet they were eating all the people who came in here! That's why they're fat and that female soldier left in tears, because they made her watch them eat her friend! Where's the bullets for my M-16? The pager code was a radiation leak, so I bailed out there at a dead run in the middle of a question and went back to my site. (Yelling that they'd 'never convert me' as I ran across the parking lot and jumped into the back of the CUC-V slapping the roof of the cab and yelling "GO GO GO!", to which the guy driving said 'gently caress this' and we took off like a bat out of hell and blew the gate at about 60 MPH because gently caress you, that's why) Turns out this loving knuckle dragging weeaboo named Shampey had called in a radiation leak to V Corps, who hit the panic button, because he saw one of the detectors spiked and wasn't aware that they were being calibrated, because Shampey was loving high speed and didn't you know that he shot expert and would have been a sniper and scored a 300 on his PT test in Basic, and say, have you heard of this comic called Elf Quest? It's the best comic ever, and have you seen Akira? Check out this sweet wall scroll he got with the katana he bought at the PX!  Chief Henley called the site a week later, told me I was an E-5, and to quit being a cock-sucking moron human being and get back to work. Getting loving promoted didn't make me special, the Army would promote a loving poo poo eating dog if it wore a uniform long enough. Peacetime Army, promoting maniacs because... reasons.
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Jan 8, 2015 00:49
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50 Foot Ant posted:My unit had a habit of just laterally promoting E-4's who were in leadership positions and having them wear E-5 rank (It was called Acting Jack, don't know if the Army still does it) to fill leadership slots we had that poo poo too, bunch of e5s running around who never went to Warlock Leadership Course to learn their marching spells to fill up our deployment TO&E. Most of then ETS'd once we demobbed anyways. edit: Actually it was still PLDC at that point (Penis Lover's Dick Camp)
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Jan 8, 2015 01:07
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FAT SLAMPIG posted:we had that poo poo too, bunch of e5s running around who never went to Warlock Leadership Course to learn their marching spells to fill up our deployment TO&E. Most of then ETS'd once we demobbed anyways. PLDC at Baumholder. You're never getting in, because that fat loving PAC clerk with the 3 inch long day-glo orange nails needs to go for a 3rd time! I never went. Wanted to. Felt like I needed to, because I was just guessing at the right things and reading manuals and praying I didn't get anyone killed. But SPC Lane from HQ Platoon went SIX loving TIMES in a year before they just passed her weight waiver having rear end.
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Jan 8, 2015 01:23
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50 Foot Ant posted:PLDC at Baumholder. I was an E-5 for 2 and a half years and completely missed WLC because of the timing of my deployment, slots and ETS. It was pretty cool.
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Jan 8, 2015 02:02
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WLC was loving gay and didn't teach me poo poo. In fact, it was the opposite. Myself, the other infantry guys and the handful of Rangers that went spent the entire time teaching Nasty Girls how to grunt bang bang tactics.
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Jan 8, 2015 02:42
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Mike-o posted:WLC was loving gay and didn't teach me poo poo. In fact, it was the opposite. Myself, the other infantry guys and the handful of Rangers that went spent the entire time teaching Nasty Girls how to grunt bang bang tactics. Train to lead warrior
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Jan 8, 2015 02:44
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Real question: which gym on dix is the best one, I am here on orders for a week.
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Jan 8, 2015 02:59
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White Chocolate posted:Real question: which gym on dix is the best one, I am here on orders for a week. im sorry man im trying to think now about which was was the best- I think the field house was the best one, down by the auditorium the one on doughboy loop was always packed when i was there looking up on the dix site, it's BLDG 6053 8th St. & Millville Rd http://gomdl.com/recreation/fitness-sports/
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Jan 8, 2015 03:07
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FAT SLAMPIG posted:im sorry gracias, that was the one I was looking at. woot
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Jan 8, 2015 03:14
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Is that the one kind of near the bowling alley and rec sports fields?
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Jan 8, 2015 14:41
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Dear army, It was about 10 degrees on fort benning this morning. No doubt there was bunch of poor bastards running around in shorts doing the bend and reach. I slept in until 945, and kept my face poking out of my blankets warm with my sweet, sweet beard. Probably would've slept in more, but I had a medical appointment that's paid for by tax dollars to go to. Terminal leave rules. Army, you gay. Thankyou for your time.
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Jan 8, 2015 17:34
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not caring here posted:
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Jan 8, 2015 17:38
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not caring here posted:Dear army,
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Jan 8, 2015 17:44
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not caring here posted:Dear army, username/post combo welcome to valhalla
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Jan 8, 2015 17:49
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psydude posted:Is that the one kind of near the bowling alley and rec sports fields? Yes, mission success.
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Jan 8, 2015 18:13
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psydude posted:Is that the one kind of near the bowling alley and rec sports fields? yeah, near the auditorium.
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Jan 8, 2015 18:19
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So it was like -25°F with wind chill this morning on Drum. Yesterday we had about 18" of snow, then it dropped another 3-4" between 10 and 11. Plus it was enough of a whiteout that you could barely loving see the DFAC across the street from the barracks. What. The. gently caress.
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Jan 8, 2015 18:20
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Enough snow that we had a 1200 release. And yet here I am, at 1330, about to go do a layout...
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Jan 8, 2015 18:22
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FOURTH WAVE LESBRO posted:So it was like -25°F with wind chill this morning on Drum. Yesterday we had about 18" of snow, then it dropped another 3-4" between 10 and 11. Plus it was enough of a whiteout that you could barely loving see the DFAC across the street from the barracks. How was pt
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Jan 8, 2015 19:17
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So glad I never went to Drum.
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Jan 8, 2015 20:08
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I avoided the lovely winters at Drum - 10-11 deployed, 11-12 was barely a winter, and next year I got the gently caress out Drum/army/snow can slurp my urethra via anus
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Jan 8, 2015 21:01
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Aranan posted:Enough snow that we had a 1200 release. And yet here I am, at 1330, about to go do a layout... Ask me about going into work yesterday with post completely shut down. Cole posted:How was pt -20°F is no outdoors PT here, anyone trying to pull that poo poo can suck my dick from the back while I force-feed them post regulations.
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Jan 8, 2015 21:54
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Winter OSUT at Leonardwood ( Stand at attention for 45 minutes outside of the land mine warfare building, company. Getting snowed on while you are only wearing BDUs without field jackets builds character, HUA!) followed by winter in Korea (back to back 45 day field problems with tankers with broken & inop heaters in the tracks, HUA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and gay rear end stupid as gently caress Army cold weather bullshit has left me with a permanent aversion to being cold ever again. So naturally I live where it's loving 10 degrees with -15 wind chill during the day right now. gently caress the army. gently caress being cold. gently caress freezing temperatures, global warming needs to hurry up until the nuclear fire cleanses the earth.
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Jan 8, 2015 22:30
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FOURTH WAVE LESBRO posted:Ask me about going into work yesterday with post completely shut down. Thank you for your service. 
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Jan 8, 2015 23:02
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Aranan posted:Thank you for your service. I may try to get you to put out a hit on one of your OCs next month, FYI.
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Jan 8, 2015 23:31
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White Chocolate posted:Yes, mission success. They just redid the bathrooms and poo poo, the free weight selection is OK.
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Jan 9, 2015 00:54
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Should I be the special snowflake that shows up to drill wearing the new APFU?
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Jan 9, 2015 15:21
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11b1p posted:Should I be the special snowflake that shows up to drill wearing the new APFU? Went to buy one, they had nothing except for small jackets. Be that guy.
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Jan 9, 2015 15:39
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11b1p posted:Should I be the special snowflake that shows up to drill wearing the new APFU? Don't be that guy. The guy who blows all his money on the newest poo poo because it's new and authorized and looks like a dork.
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Jan 9, 2015 16:25
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:Don't be that guy. The guy who blows all his money on the newest poo poo because it's new and authorized and looks like a dork. Can't be helped I never get what I need from the unit.
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Jan 9, 2015 16:59
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11b1p posted:Can't be helped I never get what I need from the unit. Sounds like you're getting exactly what you need, you just need more of it
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Jan 9, 2015 17:42
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Zeris posted:Sounds like you're getting exactly what you need, you just need more of it I want less Army in my life. Supply takes it to heart I guess.
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Jan 9, 2015 18:31
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It took just over three years for my old reserve unit to get me three crests for my class A's and patches. Um good job?
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Jan 9, 2015 20:41
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that running outfit looks lame as poo poo why the gently caress would you want to get one?
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Jan 9, 2015 21:08
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First drill since August '13 tomorrow. I have nothing to do, nor am I actually in charge of anything because I'm triple slotted, so I think I'm going to sign in and then go study at the USO until it's time to leave.
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Jan 9, 2015 21:20
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| # ? Dec 8, 2024 03:28 |
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:that running outfit looks lame as poo poo why the gently caress would you want to get one? So he doesn't have to buy it when it's required and every store on the planet is sold out because people like you wait till the day before it becomes official regulation to get it
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Jan 9, 2015 21:25
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