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Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



None of you chucklefucks have been to Wainwright. Fort Polk is less remote than Fairbanks, AK :negative:

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EBB
Feb 15, 2005



rear end in a top hat of the national guard

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013

psydude posted:

Belvoir is the least bad Army base.

This is because the active duty Army component of Belvoir is loving tiny compared to the number of civilians and retirees.

Vasudus
May 30, 2003
If combat arms can't go there it's probably okay.

Delizin
Nov 9, 2005

It may not be interracial, but it is black and white.

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:



rear end in a top hat of the national guard

I stayed at the campground there for like a month while I was RVing in VA. Was a whole hell of a lot cheaper than anywhere closer to Northern VA. Wasn't bad.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

Vasudus posted:

If combat arms can't go there it's probably okay.

Fort Gordon didn't have any combat arms. I was in the WTB.

My days went like this:

Wake up at 7.
Formation at 730 indoors.
Back in my room out of uniform by 815.
Breakfast in my civilian clothes at 830.
Civilian clothes to any appointment all day err'yday.
PS4 all day til 4, then I text my squad leader and say I'm doing schoolwork when really I'm playing ps4. (Xbox 360 before that.)

That was seriously my day. Then again I was WTB. It sounds like heaven and compared to other units it is. The problem was I never knew when I was going to leave so I never bothered to make friends or anything. I was with a girl back home at the time and we always had problems. I never went out but a few times.

So the Fort Gordon WTB is a bomb rear end unit. I just didn't ever do anything fun with my 18 months of basically paid free time.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D
And they had drivers that would take you anywhere on post. And you could put in requests to go off post. And they made mall and movies trips the weekend after every pay day.

I never even had to drive anywhere. I didn't even own a car for like six months. I had a prelude, sold it to a friend and then bought it back a few months before i left. I lost maybe $500 on that deal but I came out ahead because I wiped away several grand worth of debt.

E: So if you are going to a wtb you should try for ft Gordon.

Cole fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Jan 29, 2015

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
At the fort benning wtb they've completely hosed it all up.

They got a bunch of combat arms E6s and E7s that can't get promoted so they try to pad their file with poo poo like wtb.

So basically it's accountability all day, erry day. My old section sergeant ended up there trying to get promoted and he said it went from pretty chill to dumber than gently caress in about 4 weeks. And he liked army dumb poo poo games.

I didn't go, thank gently caress. I'd just tell my unit that I had an appointment and I had so fuckin' many I could easily disappear for a half day or even full days just because gently caress work.

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit
So my company has a lot of guys that need to get SSD 1 done. Thank Christ for those lazy fucks, I'm making a poo poo ton of money right now and haven't paid for smokes in two weeks so far. Also, loving with dudes' accounts on ALMS is fun, for instance I changed one guy's profile picture to:


e: I'm doing some Traffic Safety class for some guys now. Loving the name of the lesson "Here's the Keys, Go Kill Yourself". Should just tell more people that on a daily basis and have a better world.

UP THE BUM NO BABY fucked around with this message at 23:04 on Jan 29, 2015

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013

Pesticide20 posted:

e: I'm doing some Traffic Safety class for some guys now. Loving the name of the lesson "Here's the Keys, Go Kill Yourself". Should just tell more people that on a daily basis and have a better world.

You missed the glory days of the Choose Your Own Adventure Suicide Prevention training, where if you chose the wrong answers, your dude actually would off himself.

We had a mandatory training session where we went through that and after two instances of killing the guy because the dumbass E-6 flipping slides clicked every answer we yelled, the 1SG got up and started making the right answers because we were "a disgrace and he wouldn't want to be battle buddies with any of us psychos".

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit

MEDS CURE SCHIZOS posted:

You missed the glory days of the Choose Your Own Adventure Suicide Prevention training, where if you chose the wrong answers, your dude actually would off himself.

We had a mandatory training session where we went through that and after two instances of killing the guy because the dumbass E-6 flipping slides clicked every answer we yelled, the 1SG got up and started making the right answers because we were "a disgrace and he wouldn't want to be battle buddies with any of us psychos".

Oh no, I did not miss out on that. On my first deployment we had to do that training and it came with videos to show you exactly what consequences your choices had. Same results you had, by the way.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Best ending was the dude wresting with the suicidal dude in the food court to take him to the hospital.

Nostalgia4ColdWar
May 7, 2007

Good people deserve good things.

Till someone lets the winter in and the dying begins, because Old Dark Places attract Old Dark Things.
Wow, those sound like a mixture of "WTF" and "Stupid as gently caress".

Our old suicide prevention briefings went: "Anyone feeling suicidal?" "No?" "OK, don't do it. Your family won't get your SGLI, someone will have to clean up your mess, and I'll personally go to the morgue and piss all over your face."

Not that anyone would admit to being suicidal, that'd get your PRP reviewed and your clearance/site access yanked faster than poo poo and could take months to get back.

Androies
Oct 23, 2008

Ask me about my knives
In the newest sexual harassment choose your own adventure video, you get to be a CSM, but there is never an option to yell at people over their hair cuts, boots, or tattoos. Also your daughter gets raped by her professor at college and the "kill the fucker" option doesn't appear either. loving bullshit.

Nostalgia4ColdWar
May 7, 2007

Good people deserve good things.

Till someone lets the winter in and the dying begins, because Old Dark Places attract Old Dark Things.

Androies posted:

In the newest sexual harassment choose your own adventure video, you get to be a CSM, but there is never an option to yell at people over their hair cuts, boots, or tattoos. Also your daughter gets raped by her professor at college and the "kill the fucker" option doesn't appear either. loving bullshit.

poo poo, as a CSM you should have people who owe you enough favors to convince a snake eater to whack the loving professor and make it look like hippies.

What kind of lovely CYOA is that?

Kung Fu Fist Fuck
Aug 9, 2009
pretty sure a csm is like 100x more likely to get all rapey than a professor, even on his own daugher

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013

"On Friday, you arrive home from your grueling job as a Battalion CSM, confident that the unannounced 100% open-ranks inspection you performed at 1930 is going to improve the warfighting capability and resiliency of your Soldiers by making sure they're up to the proper standards.

Your college aged daughter and wife are in the kitchen, crying. Stunned by seeing your wife without a full bottle of Arbor Mist in her and your daughter not taking drunken selfies at parties that couldn't possibly be occurring in the barracks, you investigate. After a prolonged twenty minutes of sobbing, your daughter finally manages to choke out something about one of her professors and being touched.

You're a CSM and a NCO, and you've been trained on how to respond to situations like this. What do you do?"

A: Hop back into your lifted truck and speed down to the battalion armory. Nobody's going to notice if a few of those M4s go missing for a day.

B: Call all of your first sergeants and demand a 100% recall. This is a matter of safety, you've got to make sure your troops have been briefed properly.

C: Immediately point out that your daughter's hair is out of regulations and should be pulled up into a bun that doesn't touch her collar. Just because there's a traumatic incident going on doesn't mean you can relax about the standards.

D: Say "That's nice, sweetheart. Daddy loves you too." before grabbing a beer from the fridge and walking away.

Suntan Boy
May 27, 2005
Stained, dirty, smells like weed, possibly a relic from the sixties.



I call shenanigans on any job that can dock your pay and make you work unpaid overtime for not raking the leaves in front of your house.

Aranan
May 21, 2007

Release the Kraken
Since we were talking about Fort Gordon recently, does anyone have opinions on off-base housing? Looking for something that's not too far from the base but also not in a sketchy shithole. Impossible dream, I know.

Delizin
Nov 9, 2005

It may not be interracial, but it is black and white.

Aranan posted:

Since we were talking about Fort Gordon recently, does anyone have opinions on off-base housing? Looking for something that's not too far from the base but also not in a sketchy shithole. Impossible dream, I know.

I retired out of Gordon in Dec 2013. In my time there I only lived off post and had three houses.

First one was in Evans, which was nice but it took like 30-60 minutes to get home depending on the time of day. The area was nicer and safer than most places around there, but it was more expensive and if there was traffic after a long day it sucked getting home. Only reason we moved from this place was the landlord decided he didn't want to renew our lease so his friends could rent the place. Was pretty funny when we saw it was being foreclosed on about a year after we moved out.

Second place was in Augusta right outside of gate 1 and it was poo poo hole and the landlord was scum. Don't rent from a dude that calls himself Pomerance Rentals. The whole area was pretty sketchy and we had some weird folks poking around the house on more than one occasion. Couldn't get out of that place fast enough.

Final place was a nice little 2 bed, 1 bath house right outside of Gate 2 in Grovetown, it was only $500 and took me like 7 minutes to get from my office to my house everyday. Grovetown has both real lovely areas and fairly nice areas so you need to look around.

Had friends that lived in Woodcrest (I think that was the name) Apartments in Augusta and they were absolute poo poo. Lots of break ins, people trying to get into apartments with dudes' wives while they were at work. My wife had to go over to pick up one of her friends that lived their after someone tried to break into her apartment and the cops wouldn't even show up to take a report.

Gate 5 towards whatever that area is called out there is really bad too. Lots of crime, lovely houses and gate 5 would get closed all the time or the hours would change so you'd have to spend an extra hour driving all the way around post to gate 1.

Edit: Someone asked about off post housing at Fort Gordon a long time ago. I still have the PM where I sent him my good landlady's phone number if you want me to forward it on to you. She owned like 40+ houses in the Grovetown area and was always great about fixing things right away.

Aranan
May 21, 2007

Release the Kraken

Delizin posted:

Edit: Someone asked about off post housing at Fort Gordon a long time ago. I still have the PM where I sent him my good landlady's phone number if you want me to forward it on to you. She owned like 40+ houses in the Grovetown area and was always great about fixing things right away.
That'd be fantastic, thanks. Also, thanks for all the tips about various places--we found a review of Woodcrest and it sounds just as lovely as you described (I think it was rated 2% out of 100 or something). I'll snag a map and get together with my wife and start calling places. Appreciate it!

iceslice
May 20, 2005

People who don't know poo poo about their job, or the organization they work for stationed to recruit people into it? Weird.

Nostalgia4ColdWar
May 7, 2007

Good people deserve good things.

Till someone lets the winter in and the dying begins, because Old Dark Places attract Old Dark Things.
Since God protects him, tell him during his next deployment that he obviously doesn't need body armor or ride in any vehicle with armor.

Diarrhea Elemental
Apr 2, 2012

Am I correct in my assumption, you fish-faced enemy of the people?
JRTC trip report: OCs are a bunch of shady motherfuckers and Geronimo is scary good at what they do, regardless of this poo poo being all they ever do.

gently caress Polk forever. gently caress Louisiana forever. gently caress the Army with a rabid sybaritic Silverback gorilla's AIDS dick.

If anyone needs me I'll be busy beating off in a porta-shitter until I fly out, and no I don't have any more loving Mucinex. When every other cocksleeve is coughing a lung up it turns out you burn through the poo poo in the first 3 days in the box.

Aranan
May 21, 2007

Release the Kraken

FOURTH WAVE LESBRO posted:

JRTC trip report: OCs are a bunch of shady motherfuckers and Geronimo is scary good at what they do, regardless of this poo poo being all they ever do.

gently caress Polk forever. gently caress Louisiana forever. gently caress the Army with a rabid sybaritic Silverback gorilla's AIDS dick.

If anyone needs me I'll be busy beating off in a porta-shitter until I fly out, and no I don't have any more loving Mucinex. When every other cocksleeve is coughing a lung up it turns out you burn through the poo poo in the first 3 days in the box.

Guess I'll be making a trip to the store to buy a few boxes of Mucinex before flying out Sunday.

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]
JRTC is the most fun I've ever had in the army. Maybe you need to lighten up or something.

Nostalgia4ColdWar
May 7, 2007

Good people deserve good things.

Till someone lets the winter in and the dying begins, because Old Dark Places attract Old Dark Things.
Looks like more fun than NTC.

Dream Weaver
Jan 23, 2007
Sweat Baby, sweat baby

Nostalgia4ColdWar posted:

Looks like more fun than NTC.

Last years AT = NTC, this years AT = JRTC oyye.

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

FOURTH WAVE LESBRO posted:

JRTC trip report: OCs are a bunch of shady motherfuckers and Geronimo is scary good at what they do, regardless of this poo poo being all they ever do.

gently caress Polk forever. gently caress Louisiana forever. gently caress the Army with a rabid sybaritic Silverback gorilla's AIDS dick.

If anyone needs me I'll be busy beating off in a porta-shitter until I fly out, and no I don't have any more loving Mucinex. When every other cocksleeve is coughing a lung up it turns out you burn through the poo poo in the first 3 days in the box.

That's not really saying much man. Gorillas have tiny dicks. I'm talking like two inches.

Red87
Jun 2, 2008

The UNE will prevail.

Aranan posted:

Since we were talking about Fort Gordon recently, does anyone have opinions on off-base housing? Looking for something that's not too far from the base but also not in a sketchy shithole. Impossible dream, I know.

I just bought a place out of Gate 1 on Wrightsboro. Takes me 5-10 minutes to get onto post before PT and before 9AM. Fairly decent place and most of the neighbors are military. It's all new construction, and I believe there are still some available. PM me if you want some info. If you were looking to rent, then good luck is all I can say. All the landlords know the BAH and you're still probably going to get a shithole for your BAH rate.

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


FOURTH WAVE LESBRO posted:

JRTC trip report: OCs are a bunch of shady motherfuckers and Geronimo is scary good at what they do, regardless of this poo poo being all they ever do.

gently caress Polk forever. gently caress Louisiana forever. gently caress the Army with a rabid sybaritic Silverback gorilla's AIDS dick.

If anyone needs me I'll be busy beating off in a porta-shitter until I fly out, and no I don't have any more loving Mucinex. When every other cocksleeve is coughing a lung up it turns out you burn through the poo poo in the first 3 days in the box.

I'd say anything Geronimo did good was because of failings on blufor's part and not success on redfor's part. Our support company lost an entire platoon in a matter of minutes from a single BMP-2 because they drove right up to it one-by-one, each humvee far enough that none were in eyeshot of one another apparently so nobody saw what they were driving into. That and either 1-505 or 2-505 were reduced to like a quarter strength by the end of it. I distinctly remember waiting for a chopper ride at town whatsitcalled's soccer field and seeing a platoon from one of their companies consisting of 6 people, with the entire company being about a squad and a half.

When you break it down to the micro level though, JRTC is stupid as gently caress. We got like 20 rounds and a 100 round belt per SAW (as an infantry unit) for the whole 14 days. It's more for the commanders than anyone and it's retarded that there is poo poo like Red Flag and RIMPAC but the army gets to play around with twenty bullets per man in a shithole Louisiana swamp.

Some asswipe geronimo kid has my patches and nametapes from our spare supply cache. I would like them back please if you are readi g this

Justin Tyme fucked around with this message at 09:39 on Jan 31, 2015

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

White Chocolate posted:

Last years AT = NTC, this years AT = JRTC oyye.

Whose daughter did you get caught loving to get sent to both NTC and JRTC back to back?

Dream Weaver
Jan 23, 2007
Sweat Baby, sweat baby

psydude posted:

Whose daughter did you get caught loving to get sent to both NTC and JRTC back to back?

If only we had. Did I mention, we are scheduled for two rotations of JRTC? We already did 2 rotations of NTC. We are a huge 200+ person unit and we are in that wonderful arforgen year that makes us get tagged for this poo poo.

Diarrhea Elemental
Apr 2, 2012

Am I correct in my assumption, you fish-faced enemy of the people?

Aranan posted:

Guess I'll be making a trip to the store to buy a few boxes of Mucinex before flying out Sunday.

You're a medic, right? 1 in 4 had some form of URI with half of those being moderately serious. 4+ plain blue box Mucinex, two bottles of Sudafed, 3-4 Mucinex DM, 3-4 Cepacol, foot powder and the athlete's foot antifungal of your choice. Steal half a box of ORS if you get the chance to, add in a bunch of poo poo for boo boos. We didn't really see many cases of hardcore Montezuma's Revenge so you should be safe with like 10-15 caps of loperamide max. How much moleskin you bring depends on if you're going to be rocking dismounted a lot or not, I'd double bag some benzoine tincture and hypos/syringes too if you are.

Oh, buy a camo tarp and at least 4 good bungies.

psydude
Mar 31, 2008

White Chocolate posted:

If only we had. Did I mention, we are scheduled for two rotations of JRTC? We already did 2 rotations of NTC. We are a huge 200+ person unit and we are in that wonderful arforgen year that makes us get tagged for this poo poo.

Why are you getting tagged for gay JRTC/NTC poo poo in ARFORGEN 4-5 instead of things like WAREX and CSTX? I mean, WAREX and CSTX are pretty lame, but they're still mandatory for pre-mob certification. If you're in 4/5 it's a waste to send you anywhere else.

11b1p
Feb 5, 2008

This picture is worth 20 words or something.

psydude posted:

Why are you getting tagged for gay JRTC/NTC poo poo in ARFORGEN 4-5 instead of things like WAREX and CSTX? I mean, WAREX and CSTX are pretty lame, but they're still mandatory for pre-mob certification. If you're in 4/5 it's a waste to send you anywhere else.

They ain't sending us anywhere.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

psydude posted:

Why are you getting tagged for gay JRTC/NTC poo poo in ARFORGEN 4-5 instead of things like WAREX and CSTX? I mean, WAREX and CSTX are pretty lame, but they're still mandatory for pre-mob certification. If you're in 4/5 it's a waste to send you anywhere else.

Jrtc costs more and we aren't on pace to run out of money before the FY is up.

I kid, but I could seriously see a commander sitting around saying "whoa we got $$$$ let's burn through it asap"

Dream Weaver
Jan 23, 2007
Sweat Baby, sweat baby

psydude posted:

Why are you getting tagged for gay JRTC/NTC poo poo in ARFORGEN 4-5 instead of things like WAREX and CSTX? I mean, WAREX and CSTX are pretty lame, but they're still mandatory for pre-mob certification. If you're in 4/5 it's a waste to send you anywhere else.

WAREX in arforgen 2&3 then ntc in 4 jrtc in 5. Made sense to me but apparently we are an outlier unit for a lot of things.

Aranan
May 21, 2007

Release the Kraken

Red87 posted:

I just bought a place out of Gate 1 on Wrightsboro.
Wasn't planning on buying. Don't really want to deal with selling it later.

FOURTH WAVE LESBRO posted:

You're a medic, right?

Nope, MI nerd. Still going to toss some of that poo poo in my bags, though.

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Diarrhea Elemental
Apr 2, 2012

Am I correct in my assumption, you fish-faced enemy of the people?

Aranan posted:

Wasn't planning on buying. Don't really want to deal with selling it later.


Nope, MI nerd. Still going to toss some of that poo poo in my bags, though.

Fuckin' nerd.

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