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Fraction
Mar 27, 2010

CATS RULE DOGS DROOL

FERRETS ARE ALSO PRETTY MEH, HONESTLY




no careposting itt

really let your pets have it

let those little bastards know what you think

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Fraction
Mar 27, 2010

CATS RULE DOGS DROOL

FERRETS ARE ALSO PRETTY MEH, HONESTLY






lola you are a disgrace for a jack russell, and you should really euth you'reself beforei ts too late. you will never amount to anything and you embarrass the world by existing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hope this helps dicklord

Fraction
Mar 27, 2010

CATS RULE DOGS DROOL

FERRETS ARE ALSO PRETTY MEH, HONESTLY






kalli you are too dumb to helldump I hope you're proud of your own stupid self. die.

Dr Scoofles
Dec 6, 2004



Stop pulling on the lead you little poo poo. Stop barking at birds, and why the gently caress don't you get along with other dogs you loving retard! Plus you have lovely fur that's all thin and weird and I can hear all those loving farts coming out when you walk!!!

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in


LITERALLY A BIRD fucked around with this message at Jan 12, 2015 around 17:26

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 9, 2009

I actually fully support ICE


I can say this thread is loving stupid because fraction's my bitch.

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

THANOS DIES IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES OF AVENGERS ENDGAME. THE HEROES SPEND THE REST OF THE FILM TIME TRAVELING TO PRIOR FILMS TO PREVENT THANOS FROM ACQUIRING THE GEMS. TONY STARK AND STEVE ROGERS DIE.


How does a conure's morning poop even fit inside its body?

Velvet Sparrow
May 15, 2006

'Hope' is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune, without the words, and never stops--at all.



Dusty, YOU DUMB loving DOG.



Also, stop catching and eating mice that you then yak up in the middle of the freakin' night all over my hallway carpet. You KNOW by now that they make you sick, dipshit. And our neighbor rides his horse down the street like once a week, QUIT PANIC ATTACK BARKING AT IT LIKE IT'S AN ALIEN FROM MARS THAT'S COME TO EAT YOUR FACE OFF.

And if you chase that stupid skunk one more time I'm gonna let you catch it and wear it for a week, I swear.

Fraction
Mar 27, 2010

CATS RULE DOGS DROOL

FERRETS ARE ALSO PRETTY MEH, HONESTLY




Fluffy Bunnies posted:

I can say this thread is loving stupid because fraction's my bitch.

don't tell evERYone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ButWhatIf
Jun 24, 2009

HA HA HA


a dog that get she head stuck in a paper bag
a shameful dog

dogcrash truther
Nov 2, 2013

by Lowtax


Dr Scoofles posted:

Stop pulling on the lead you little poo poo. Stop barking at birds, and why the gently caress don't you get along with other dogs you loving retard! Plus you have lovely fur that's all thin and weird and I can hear all those loving farts coming out when you walk!!!


awww what a cutie...I just couldn't stay mad at him no matter what he did

thatbastardken
Apr 23, 2010

Toot Toot I'm A Boot


Fucks sake Suzy don't jump the fence to bring home a gross possum carcass you filthy mongrel

Official Bizness
Dec 4, 2007

wark wark wark





I cannot believe I just spent thirty minutes searching for my missing needle across the entire house, positive that I was going to be driving you to the emergency vet, only to discover that you couldn't even loving swallow it properly and it had lined up against your back molars perfectly. You are loving welcome, you lovely dog, and you should be EXTREMELY loving thankful that you didn't need surgery while I am unemployed.

Velvet Sparrow
May 15, 2006

'Hope' is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune, without the words, and never stops--at all.



Official Bizness posted:

I cannot believe I just spent thirty minutes searching for my missing needle across the entire house, positive that I was going to be driving you to the emergency vet, only to discover that you couldn't even loving swallow it properly and it had lined up against your back molars perfectly. You are loving welcome, you lovely dog, and you should be EXTREMELY loving thankful that you didn't need surgery while I am unemployed.

I have a neck sign I can lend you.

Fraction
Mar 27, 2010

CATS RULE DOGS DROOL

FERRETS ARE ALSO PRETTY MEH, HONESTLY




Official Bizness posted:

I cannot believe I just spent thirty minutes searching for my missing needle across the entire house, positive that I was going to be driving you to the emergency vet, only to discover that you couldn't even loving swallow it properly and it had lined up against your back molars perfectly. You are loving welcome, you lovely dog, and you should be EXTREMELY loving thankful that you didn't need surgery while I am unemployed.

imo you should euth this lovely dumb stupid dog

who can't even swallow a needle properly!!!!!!

adventure in the sandbox
Nov 24, 2005



Things change




My guinea pigs know I feed them and give good things like vegetables so they go WHEEKWHEEKWHEEK when I walk past their cage

but I just yell SHUT UP YOU STUPID PETS and keep walking

eternalbuffalo
Jun 8, 2005

Life still hard.


Hurley, you are a complete idiot. Why do you insist on eating any and all poo poo you find?

You go out, find cat poo poo somewhere, eat it, puke it up in the house during the night for me to find before work in the morning, I clean it like a retard and then put the bag outside so it doesn't stink the house up....only to see you grab the bag, drag it down to the grass and tear it open, eating it again. The gently caress, dog, the gently caress!!! You do this ALL THE TIME and each time you puke it up. For real, stop eating poo poo, you gigantic tool.

Also stop destroying everything. You don't know how close my girlfriend/your owner came to giving you away when you ATE HER TABLET and destroyed her bed and ate her favourite shoes and hats as well as the kennel. Not to mention that time she got an apple iTV and you tried to eat that too within hours of her getting it!! You are lucky you are cute ya loving bastard.

I do not regret getting your balls chopped off. Not even a little. Hah.

Mizuti
Jan 28, 2007

What a singularly inappropriate moment you've chosen to assert your pedantry.





This little jerk is soft, beautiful, and always making ridiculously cute poses, but he assumes any touch is an attempt to annoy him 90% of the time. Just accept a little pat on the head once in a while, you rear end in a top hat cat!

Hitlers Gay Secret
Mar 7, 2010

The Third Reich's under new -- and better -- management.

Hasn't word reached Camp Pendleton yet?


College Slice

Vincent you stupid shitlord, stop tearing apart your beds! I'm tired of buying you and Ratigan a new bed every 2-3 weeks because you have some urge to destroy what you lay in.

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008



Harriet yo furry emotionally manipulative fucker, stop waking me up at 5 am, stop being friendly to me only to get treats then run away as soon as you get the.

Wintir
Feb 2, 2015

Colder than a witch's tit

Cat, if you're going to instigate the dog then at least have the good sense to run away when he gets riled up. Why do you just stick around and wonder why he's rough-housing you?

regulargonzalez
Aug 18, 2006

More pretentious than thou


Candyass, you are a goddamned disgrace. Hit up the gym, work in a salad once in a while, have some dignity man!

dovetaile
Jul 8, 2011



Grimey Drawer

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

Vincent you stupid shitlord, stop tearing apart your beds! I'm tired of buying you and Ratigan a new bed every 2-3 weeks because you have some urge to destroy what you lay in.

Rats, I assume. Mine like their random cardboard box bed better than any hammock I put in.

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien


My orange tabby cat humps arms and legs

Oil!
Nov 5, 2008

Der's e'rl in dem der hills!



Ham Wrangler

This bitch keeps making GBS threads on my floor.



She hasn't pissed on it in almost a month, but she hates loving rain and thunder and loses control.



Unfortunately she looks baller in shades.

Tamarillo
Aug 6, 2009




Thanks for somehow chewing through the chest strap of your new harness literally two minutes after we left the house Sterling you loving douchenozzle

Also stop prancing around with your own poo poo in your mouth like it's a trophy

thatbastardken
Apr 23, 2010

Toot Toot I'm A Boot


Suzy you loving psycho mutt, rollerblading is not a capital crime punishable by dog bite. If you end up on the dangerous dog register because you can't get your poo poo together you're getting euth'd.

skaboomizzy
Nov 12, 2003

There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Grimey Drawer

Everybody who sees you online loves you and thinks you're just an adorable old curmudgeon cat, but they don't have to deal with your yowling at 7 am or when I decide to take a nap in the evening because you require someone to pet you while you drink from my trickling bathroom sink faucet. You are the loudest non-Siamese cat in the world. You won't even climb onto the couch with me for head-scratches, you insist on lying on the floor at the exact spot where my hand falls down to emphasize how much you own me. You are a tremendous jerk-cat, Reggie.



(I still love ya, buddy.)

Portable Staplefrog
May 21, 2007



Velvet Sparrow
May 15, 2006

'Hope' is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune, without the words, and never stops--at all.




To be fair...mice *are* bigger than Bettas.

Portable Staplefrog
May 21, 2007



Velvet Sparrow posted:

To be fair...mice *are* bigger than Bettas.

The OP didn't say "Make excuses for your pet's failures." I didn't and you shouldn't either.

Portable Staplefrog fucked around with this message at Feb 16, 2015 around 14:15

Velvet Sparrow
May 15, 2006

'Hope' is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune, without the words, and never stops--at all.



Portable Staplefrog posted:

The OP didn't say "Make excuses for your pet's failures." I didn't and you should either.

That's true.

gently caress that damned lazy fish. Finny swimming bastard.

Farking Bastage
Sep 22, 2007


Goddamnit I'm tired of throwing your asses out of bed every night when the three of you have your own beds and free run of the couches.

Eifert Posting
Mar 31, 2007

Atkins Diet


Grimey Drawer

My hound is so dumb he'll get scared by his own farts.

My hound is so dumb that a door being closed terrifies him and causes him to flee to the far corner of the house.

My hound is so dumb that he hates new items but usually takes days to notice them. New chair Monday it must die Thursday.

My hound is so dumb he forgets he's afraid of people.

My hound is so dumb that he thinks I own every car in the world. He'll beg for a ride from every car we pass.

Gay Horney
Feb 9, 2013


We adopted an apparently smart dog who had been hit by a car and required surgery. This was a year ago. She in the last week or so has figured out how to get out of the backyard. When she does, she walks ten feet from the front door to the dead center of the road and lies down.

This loving dog has the run of an entire city and chooses to lay down in the place that caused the worst trauma of her life. She hasn't been withdrawn or sad lately, no talk of suicidal ideation so I don't think she's trying to kill herself .
I just think she's a dumb old dog.

[timg] http://i.imgur.com/LO1uzhE.jpg[/timg]

TheHomerTax
Dec 26, 2012


Goddammit Pixie, stop eating your own poo poo. And stop eating the other dogs's poo poo. And stop eating 3 month old frozen poo poo outside.

Ted, every drat speck of dust in the house does not need lunged at. Also, stop growling at literally every car and everyone who has the sheer audacity to pass by our house.

Maizy, stop making GBS threads in my sweatpants.

thatbastardken
Apr 23, 2010

Toot Toot I'm A Boot


suzy is officially a pig as per a behaviorist assessment. eat that poo poo, stupid dog.

Eifert Posting
Mar 31, 2007

Atkins Diet


Grimey Drawer

Sharzak posted:

We adopted an apparently smart dog who had been hit by a car and required surgery. This was a year ago. She in the last week or so has figured out how to get out of the backyard. When she does, she walks ten feet from the front door to the dead center of the road and lies down.

This loving dog has the run of an entire city and chooses to lay down in the place that caused the worst trauma of her life. She hasn't been withdrawn or sad lately, no talk of suicidal ideation so I don't think she's trying to kill herself .
I just think she's a dumb old dog.

[timg] http://i.imgur.com/LO1uzhE.jpg[/timg]

I bet she could properly post a pic without loving up the bb code.

Mymla
Aug 12, 2010



Holy poo poo pick on someone your own size for once.

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Koivunen
Oct 7, 2011

there's definitely no logic
to human behaviour

Goliath, Mr. Malamute, Spud Bud. What's your obsession with stuff that has to do with ears? No matter where I try to hide my ear plugs, you manage to rip apart whatever container they're in to eat them. Remember that time you found the plastic container of 100 ear plugs and you chewed it open and ate all but a few? You were making GBS threads ear plugs for a week. That's gross. We have to keep the bathroom door closed because you go through the trash and eat Q-Tips too.

Speaking of keeping doors closed, Pikkukoira, you have managed to nearly destroy our house with your god damned scratching. Why don't you use the scratching posts we got you? Why do you have to scratch doors and table legs all the time? We keep your nails trimmed, why isn't that good enough? We have had to resort to using baby gates to prevent you from scratching the wood, and it's a pain in the rear end and looks stupid.

Raspurrtin, you drive me insane. When we first saw you at the shelter I thought your raspy meow was super cute, but I had no clue that you do not shut the hell up. Ever. I wish I could have just one night of uninterrupted sleep. You don't need to be fed every two hours, you're probably like 25 years old, it's amazing you're still alive. You're the reason I need to wear ear plugs in the first place. I mean, just listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_ngFpisQGs

Papa Squeezio, you're really spastic for a Beardie. Chill out, dude.

A photo of all the offenders:



You're all lucky you're so cute and otherwise well-behaved.

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