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DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





Hello Sailor posted:

This sounds like a situation where I would set a treat on my side of the door and see if the dog figures it out. One time only, of course, lest they learn that they can get a treat by doing that.

Yeah heís an rear end in a top hat. Even once and heíd expect a treat every time.

Pictured: rear end in a top hat

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Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

In Rodd we Bust





I like to imagine that heís only opening the door because he thinks youíre in danger and he wants to make sure that youíre safe

Hello Sailor
May 3, 2006

we're all mad here


Or he doesn't actually know you're in there and wants in the room for some other reason.

DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





Hello Sailor posted:

Or he doesn't actually know you're in there and wants in the room for some other reason.

He can see me in the room. Picture is the view from the chair at my work desk. If the door is open a little bit less than this he will think he canít get in

small ghost
Jan 30, 2013



Randaconda posted:

stop making GBS threads directly beside the just cleaned and changed litter box, you tabby piece of poo poo

small ghost
Jan 30, 2013



tried to trim momo's claws today. he turned into a weirdly heavy sausage and somehow tucked his back legs so deeply under him that I couldnt find them even when I rolled him onto his side.

you win, for now.

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


your food is six hours old, i'm not pouring you an entirely new bowl


loving orange piece of poo poo

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Aleta will only eat her wet food after it's dried out. She'll go layer by layer for a couple hours, using her paw to pull out the dryish chunks so she can eat them delicately off her fingers like an elegant lady, until I start assuming she will die from Old Meat and take it away.

Axqu
Nov 28, 2016

I'm a hot bitch angel named Panty. And no matter what anyone says,
I DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT!


Jasper. Babyman. I know we found you on the ground outside and you're probably only around a year or two old, but we feed you the recommended amount of food for your size and you are actually gaining weight in the form of muscle mass. You don't have worms, and I know you don't have worms because Drontal is the cat worming equivalent of a howitzer. You do not nead to start screaming for food 3.5 hours on the dot before we feed you. And then 2.5 hours. And then 1 hour. And then continuously for the last 30 minutes before food time. You get fed at 8a and 5:30p. Just because your humans are chunguses doesn't mean you get to be one too.

Also, stop chewing cords for attention when you are told no. You only go after cords when we tell you no. Literally no other time. I know it gets us up and moving to stop you, which is what you want, you little dickfuck. And if you gave a poo poo about any boundaries we set, we wouldn't have to keep the spray bottle on standby. We also would not have to keep ALL the trash in the house in the utility room or various cabinets without fear that you'll knock it over and get into it. We'd also be able to have a trash bag in the truck without having to wake up every morning to trash strewn all over the cab the ONE time we forget to drop it in a nearby dumpster. Also, speaking of the truck: You have no CDL; how do you expect to drive? You do not belong in the driver's seat.

I own amphibians and you are still the most food-motivated creature I have ever met. You would sell our souls for half a chicken wing. You've wormed your way under the couch after a bug, and got stuck. Little fucko.





DarkSoulsTantrum
Apr 6, 2011

this kills the crab

Sure, they're visually impressive, but a lot of posters find large avatars physically uncomfortable. Furthermore, the owners of large avatars often rely on their size alone and don't bother to develop more refined posting techniques.





I dunno, Jasper seems pretty cool

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .


Doctor Rope

I sprayed my cords with air refresher & hair spray to get my cat to stop chewing the. As a bonus, my living room smells nice.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

In Rodd we Bust





MoMo, in the last 2 years you have developed such severe allergies that you are losing all your fur to dermatitis! The vets have put you on three separate treatments, there isnít a single parasite anywhere on or inside your chubby body, and I am losing sleep trying to figure out how I can make you happy and healthy again. You are only 9 and I buy you the best food and medicine and vet care money can buy, but we just donít know whatís wrong with you buddy... please let this next treatment work you fat sack of poo poo please, I just want you to be soft and happy again

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


YeahTubaMike posted:

I sprayed my cords with air refresher & hair spray to get my cat to stop chewing the. As a bonus, my living room smells nice.

Tabasco sauce works pretty well.

Bremma
Sep 7, 2007

She was a terrible creature and did not deserve our love


Bust Rodd posted:

MoMo, in the last 2 years you have developed such severe allergies that you are losing all your fur to dermatitis! The vets have put you on three separate treatments, there isnít a single parasite anywhere on or inside your chubby body, and I am losing sleep trying to figure out how I can make you happy and healthy again. You are only 9 and I buy you the best food and medicine and vet care money can buy, but we just donít know whatís wrong with you buddy... please let this next treatment work you fat sack of poo poo please, I just want you to be soft and happy again



Have you investigated atopic dermatits? My orange cat Ayla has it and she's on a liquid med Atopica that's helped. She sometimes gets a little worse (she's got a patch on her ear right now) but it's better than her grooming herself bald/raw on her tummy and limbs and kicking her ears bloody. Sadly it'll be a maintenance drug but she's at least down to 4x a week from 7.

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


quoting from the scootin' fruity thread

mobby_6kl posted:

I prepared a small tank for shrimp, nice black sand and a couple of plants to get started, but the shrimp weren't available yet so I put a few of the new fish as a quarantine tank. The next morning something was different...

https://i.imgur.com/fn8YlqP.mp4

You little stripy motherfucker. I know they can build nests but who does it on the fist day.


YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .


Doctor Rope

Iron Crowned posted:

Tabasco sauce works pretty well.

Sure, but I don't want my apartment to smell like tabasco sauce.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

In Rodd we Bust





Bremma posted:

Have you investigated atopic dermatits? My orange cat Ayla has it and she's on a liquid med Atopica that's helped. She sometimes gets a little worse (she's got a patch on her ear right now) but it's better than her grooming herself bald/raw on her tummy and limbs and kicking her ears bloody. Sadly it'll be a maintenance drug but she's at least down to 4x a week from 7.

Thank you I will ask his vet about this! I love him so much and I just want his buns to be soft again, heís doing exactly as you describe, cleaning his buns raw!

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Aleta, you are not a dog. You cannot get upset every time I leave the house. You cannot get so relieved when I come home that you just pass out after yelling at me. Girl! Get your poo poo together!

Dirt Road Junglist
Oct 8, 2010

There's a ghost in me
Who wants to say I'm sorry
Doesn't mean I'm sorry






Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Aleta, you are not a dog. You cannot get upset every time I leave the house. You cannot get so relieved when I come home that you just pass out after yelling at me. Girl! Get your poo poo together!

lol if you haven't pissed off your roommates because your cat sits at the top of the stairs and howls from 5pm until you get home from your commute.

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

"You are the best poster... do not let anyone say otherwise."


Randaconda posted:

quoting from the scootin' fruity thread

Totally forgot this thread exists until Randaconda reposted this. The others are also assholes. As I removed them one by one, the next one became the dominant one bully and started digging my substrate. Off they go into the grownup tank!

mobby_6kl fucked around with this message at 17:58 on Aug 4, 2020

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


Dirt Road Junglist posted:

lol if you haven't pissed off your roommates because your cat sits at the top of the stairs and howls from 5pm until you get home from your commute.

One of my roommate's cats starts wailing when I go to work. Apparently this happens every morning, even the days where they're all locked up together in her room.

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

In Rodd we Bust






Cosmo, why the gently caress have you suddenly decided potty time is a group activity?

If I leave the door open, Cosmo will jump in the tub and poop or pee with me now! What? I just cleaned your box, youíre literally 10 years old and Iíve had you the entire time, why develop new pooping behaviors now?

Bremma
Sep 7, 2007

She was a terrible creature and did not deserve our love


Bust Rodd posted:

Thank you I will ask his vet about this! I love him so much and I just want his buns to be soft again, heís doing exactly as you describe, cleaning his buns raw!

Hopefully it'll help! The cat will need a few tests periodically to ensure they're tolerating and sadly it's a very bitter medicine so they won't like it, but its done wonders for Ayla.

meriruka
Apr 13, 2007



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUOedXLx8rQ

small ghost
Jan 30, 2013



today we are yelling at: the sink

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


ALETA: HAM HAM HAM I SEE YOU EATING HAM YOU HAM-EATER HAM HAM HAM NOWNOWNOWNOWNOWNOW!

ME: *gives ham*

ALETA: *immediately abandons ham*

LUNA: upon the floor lies a scrap of cured porkling; i wish to feast upon the salt of its flesh

ME: *gives used ham*

ALETA: *appears out of thin air* NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY HAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gently caress YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ME: *sneaks Luna ham under the bed*

ALETA: NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

LUNA: wheep! *dissipates and returns to the ether*

ALETA: Frrrrbbbbbppptt. *sits on ham*

ME: *throws more ham under the bed in the hopes Luna will find it*

MY HUSBAND: Why is there ham under the loving bed?!

ME: *points to Luna*

LUNA: *points to Aleta*

ALETA: *is too busy eating a bug but would probably point at me*

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

Tater Love


Dear Two Stupid Cats,

I know there's a new tiny human in the house sucking up all the attention but that's no excuse to start destroying things as soon as you see my hands are occupied.

I promise you'll still get food and pets but the tiny human is even more helpless than you so she gets a little extra attention. Quit your bellyaching. Also, kill the drat bugs yourselves and stop whining for me to deal with it.

zakharov fucked around with this message at 16:26 on Aug 26, 2020

kirbysuperstar
Nov 11, 2012





My little lad Wren is about a year old now. Only feels like yesterday we got him. I've spent the last few days curled up on the couch with nerve pain and he's been helpfully looking after me by laying on/with me..but not before stomping me in the nuts while looking for the best position. Thanks, little buddy. Love you too.

meriruka
Apr 13, 2007



omg those little fangs.



[/quote]

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


Aleta,

1. Stop sitting in front of the anthurium and screaming at it. You cannot eat that one because you will get chemical burns in your mouth. Yelling at it will not change my mind about letting you chomp on it.

2. On that note, you ate an ENTIRE cat grass in one sitting.

3. I know that I hurt your feelings by not complimenting your cool new trick, and it IS very clever, but stop tricking Luna into jumping into the closet and then slamming the door on her! You know she's too stupid to push on the door!

Plant murderer:

YeahTubaMike
Mar 24, 2005

*hic* Gotta finish thish . . .


Doctor Rope

Dearest queen consort Sully, duchess of my apartment,

JUST BECAUSE I WORK FROM HOME DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TIME TO SIT HERE & STARE AT YOU ALL DAY. SHUT THE gently caress UP.

With the sincerest of appreciations,
YTM

small ghost
Jan 30, 2013



Momo managed to cover his poo in the litter box today!

The reason this is a helldump and not a praise is that he's two whole years old and this is the first time ever that he's actually managed to do that instead of just flailing his dumb paws at the wall, floor, and radiator outside of the box until the other cat gets annoyed and covers it for him (or I hear the flailing and scoop it.)

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.



Illegal Hen

Beemer? Gizmo? Midnight? Which one of you keeps pissing on the clean laundr

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


I got woken up at 4 AM and have decided to adopt Aleta's lifestyle in order to understand how one can have so much energy at 4 AM.

1. Stare at the wall and then yell at it a few times, just so it knows who the alpha is.
2. Lose a staring contest and rub my face on some grass for consolation.
3. Have an absolutely mingin' butthole stench.
4. Lie down behind a rolling chair doing cute little otter things with my hands.
5. Put a thumbtack in my mouth.
6. Yell at the wall again.

It's been a busy morning so far! I am definitely awake, though.

edited to add new exciting activities:
7. Find a piece of broken glass and try to eat it and cry when it's taken away.
8. Lie on the floor grabbing at Mommy's hand with my fat little frog paws and then mouthing that delicious Momhand while somehow gently bunny-kicking it. Also I need very hard pats on my face or I will headbutt you FOR REAL like a mountain goat until you do it hard enough. YES, AT THE SAME TIME.
9. Be unable to get into a box full of stuff and when Mommy won't clear the box out for you even though you stood up on your hind legs and yelled most beautifully, sit on the floor and angrily bite your own tail.

Fleta Mcgurn fucked around with this message at 06:22 on Sep 18, 2020

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.


ALETA: *jumps about six feet straight up to catch THE SHINY on the ceiling*
ALSO ALETA: *lies down to eat because standing up is too hard*

ALETA: MUMMY DID YOU KNOW THAT THINGS HAVE A UNDER? LOOK! *flips cat grass tray* LOOK!!!! *flips water bowl* SEE THAT'S WHERE I HIDE MY STUFF oops

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

In Rodd we Bust







This rotting pumpkin loser is resting because hoarking up a giant pile of barf onto my hoodie took a lot out of him. Please respect my poor baby kitty in these trying times.

I hate you Barfmo the cat, I hate you

Thumposaurus
Jul 24, 2007




Why you poop in bed???

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

It's always Heath's fault.



Plaster Town Cop

Tracker, you lovable dumbass, you can't approach cats as if they're just small dogs. You are 95lbs of trying way too goddamn hard.

BigBallChunkyTime
Nov 25, 2011

Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.



Illegal Hen

Rocky, why do you find literally everything you're NOT supposed to have and pay no attention to your toys?

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small ghost
Jan 30, 2013



I got two cats so you could play with each other when I'm busy, not so that you could scream at me in stereo when you want to play and I'm busy.

Also the only game you want to play at the moment is: I stand in the bedroom and wave the ribbon on a stick, while you, momo, roll on the floor trying to sit on it and you, macready, crab walk at high speed up and down the hallway paying absolutely no attention to me, momo, or the ribbon on a stick.

It is a stupid game, I do not understand the rules, and I feel like you're both missing the point of the ribbon on a stick. If this is what faux hunting behaviour means to you, then you should both count your lucky stars you're pet cats. I'm still going to play it with you (when I'm not busy ) but I want you both to know how ridiculous you are.

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