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Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



Dear Schmitt,

You are a great cat and I am very happy I adopted you around a month ago.

That being said please stop using my bed as a launching pad to the desk so you can look out of the window. When you walk over it's fine, but when you run full-speed into the room and jump it always wakes me up, especially when you are jumping off of me to do it.

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Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



Dear Schmidt,

I know Olivia getting back from being spayed smells like the vet and not the kitten you knew.

I get that you thought that she was different and hissed and growled at her and even attacked her.

That being said, how are you so dumb that the second her protective collar was taken off you immediately went back to trying to be best friends. God damnit she almost tore her stitches running from you!

Schmidt hiding his face (in presumably shame)

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



Dear Schmidt,

You are too god drat smart for your own good.

I know why you want to get into the basement. We are remodeling and there is a part of the floor that is dirt so you like to use it as a new litter box, also you saw a mouse down there once so there must be other mice for you to chase and toy with.

You figured out how to open the basement door, but, that was an easy fix. We just got one of those child covers that go around the knob so when you tried to open it, it would just spin instead. Fast forward 4 months, and after endless hours of hearing the plastic cover bounce around the doorknob, and you acting like were just sitting by the door when I would check on you, you have figured out how to open the basement again in a few minutes.

So I put a shoe rack in front of it with some heavy items on it to stop you from going down there.

Only for me to wake up this morning to see the heavy stuff on the ground, the door slightly ajar, and finally you and Olivia running upstairs when you heard me tink the tab on the cat food.

God. Damnit. Cat.

(He is the Tuxedo)

Paint Crop Pro
Mar 22, 2007

Find someone who values you like Rick Spielman values 7th round picks.



Thankfully I have already provided them all the toys they could ever want.

Mostly shoelaces to chase and a catnip banana to chase around.

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