Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
I made up the pillows and blanket all comfy to take a nap, walked away to get a sandwich before said nap. Laid down on top of the blankets.

Onto a cat inside said blankets.

I don't even know which one it is since they're still under there.

...Now another cat has come to attack the mystery cat under the blankets.


Goddamnit cats.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

JohnnyCanuck posted:

Suki,
Yes, we have to lock up your catfood now. Because we came home and found you'd opened the pantry, knocked over the bag, and were lying on your side scooping kibble into your mouth with your paw, that's why.



No you're not allowed to complain about this new arrangement.

Muchly Annoyed,
Your Humans

He's gonna learn to knock that out within a month (week?). I've had to put baby proof latches on all my cabinets, closets, and cupboards. Cats :argh:

If you're interested...
http://m.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/art/20282051/

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

mcbagpipes posted:

Stupid dog! Why can't you even dog correctly.

You are supposed to chase feral barn kittens, not protect them and pretend they are your puppies!



I see nothing wrong with this.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
One cat woke me up going AARRROOOOOOOOOOOO

Then I went to the other room because I couldn't fall back asleep and 15 min later another cat, in a different room, gave the saddest meow so I thought she wanted petting.

Nope. She went straight for the food bowl.

:catstare:

Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 08:42 on Jun 24, 2016

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Stupid moron stop missing the litter box and peeing on the floor! I know you're not sick cause I just took you to the vet, you're just stupid.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Why do you all poo at the same time? Most days the litter boxes are pretty clean but then some days, like today, I walk into the room into a nuclear bomb cloud of poo smell, only to find 500000000 pieces of poo in the litter box. Are you synchronizing this? Do YOU enjoy it?

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
stop missing the litter box I know you like to pee in the corner but come on. Now the knees of my pants smell like cat pee and Natures Miracle cause I scrubbed the floor on my hands and knees for 20 minutes, plus the other cats are upset about the smell.

Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 00:15 on Aug 5, 2016

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Why would you poo, not cover it, but then put a toy in the litterbox? :psyduck:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
It's 4am and I swear it's been an hour of AROOOOOOOOO AAROOOOOOOOOOOOO AAROOOOOOO outside my door. Ignoring had always worked but nope tonight he decided not to stop so I had to break out the spray bottle. but he still AROOOOOOd I think he's trying to say his name cause the intonation is the same as his name but oh my god. You get fed at 6 not at 4 what the gently caress you cat :catstare:

E: oh of course once I break out the camera to take a pic you stop mewing. But through my hard work mewing back at him I finally got 1/2 a devil cat

Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 10:30 on Aug 19, 2016

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

SneakyFrog posted:

so you meowed back at it at 4? what you never want to sleep again? you didnt feed the little heathen did you?

I had already been in the living room for 30 min until I started mewing myself to get him to take the pic. I fed them at 5:45. Now all has been quiet and little devil is asleep in a basket :catstare:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

SneakyFrog posted:

Now is time to wake the cat up with meowing then.

Put my mouth on his asleep neck and meowed, he was happy to see me. Cats.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Now because I actually got out of the room at 4 am he's been mewing at me for food all day, despite having been fed. Lesson to all: ignore your cats mrewing outside your bedroom door, no matter the cost

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

I have them but the most complicated story: I accidentally pulled out my tragus and lost it so I had to put in a long one and if I put in my ear plugs it might shift my piercing, and my piercer is over an hour away so I don't wanna go there and get it replaced.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

I have NeoMetal so it pulls out super easy, it's a push in style not a twisty. So it didn't hurt, I just lost it.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

FactsAreUseless posted:

Your pets are all shaming these posts.

My moron ARROOOOer has been sitting staring at me all day just because I didn't ignore the 4am AROOOing. As I posted previously, do not respond to cats' AROOOOOing.

Oh god now he's walking over and mewing. Help.

Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 00:47 on Aug 20, 2016

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

grack posted:

Put vacuum cleaner outside your door, run the cord up to a power bar on your nightstand. Cat wakes you up at 4am, turn on the vacuum for a few seconds. Problem solved.

This is a great idea but I'm paranoid cause some of my cats like to chew cables... Jerkface was silent last night because I actually ignored him so I assume this will be continued. But now he's just sitting behind me STARING. You know, that cat sit-+wide-eyed-stare-into-your-soul type of stare. It is so creepy.

This is worse when all 8 are sitting and do this to me from around the room. It is really scary

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
My AROOOO cat has peen clawing me in the nose and eyes, very carefully, to get only the inside of my nose and my eyelid. Guy is smart. I'm trying to take a nap, AROOOO!

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

psychokitty posted:

put tea tree oil in your armpits then it will lick your pits instead

They like my ear wax more :barf: if I happen to scratch my ear I inevitably get a cat coming over to lick my fingers :barf::barf:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

grack posted:

You have 8 goddamned cats? How are you not posting in this thread every other hour?

My cats are pretty much always well behaved (I am a super crazy cat lady) but I def post when they are bad little cattes.


SneakyFrog posted:

just need 1 more for the crazy cat lady label :haw:

Already am one. When I go to doctors (always) they're like, do you live with anyone? I say: "my cats"


Oh god I'm insane :that smilie I haven't bought yet of the crazy happy cat:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

constantinople posted:

Are you and your cat twins.

When cat+human are soulmates it's really awesome

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Dear cats: I love when you want to lay down with me but why do you always lay in such a way so your rear end is directly in my face? No, I do NOT want to smell your butt. Can't you lay down like, with your side to me?

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Kitty, I know one of the other cats is your enemy but your growling and hissing started a fight between 3 cats and you just jumped onto the shelf to watch. I am glad I know how to break up fights but seriously, you are a crazy rear end in a top hat.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

KomodoWagon posted:

That cat is a boss and you should be praising him instead of insulting him on a dead gay forum :colbert:

Maybe it was her plan all along :ohdear:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

D34THROW posted:




What the gently caress is your obsession with the garage? You both sit out there for hours on end for no reason other than to sit out there.

I can hear the MEEEEWWR of the left one.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Will you EVER stop howling? You somehow leaned for like 4 years that howling outside the bedroom door won't get you food but somehow last summer you started doing it again and no matter what I do you wont. Stop. It is the most annoying thing I've ever heard in my life. AROOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOO. However this text does not quite explain how horrible this noise is. I should not be awake this early posting on forums. And no, you're not getting food.


Fake edit: your photo won't white balance easily on my phone and I'm too lazy/angry to work on it. And sit still for photo time! You woke me up now you get to be harassed.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Why did you try to "search this Mac" 5 times? Why is it when you walk over the computer you always step on the track pad? All the other cats know to avoid it. :argh:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Kitty (I am not creative),

I know you like the massive heat coming from my Apple laptop, but you are pushing it off my desk with your sleeping position. When I push it back you hiss. "Tortitude," they call it. "Kitty", I call it.

Very safe for my computer:




**i cover & hide all the cables when I'm away and watch the cats vigilantly when they're around the cables.*


E: I love you Kitty, you're so weird.

Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 07:52 on Apr 24, 2017

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
2 more:

-Fluffy (again, not creative), you HAVE to eat your kidney food. I know the other cats' food is tastier but your body is stupid and I can't afford to give you canned food 2-4x/day (confusing feeding/calories schedule). Don't have hunger strikes. Your kidneys went from failure to 100% fine while eating the prescription food but you got some of the other cats' food and now you're being a jerk.

-all of you. I just re-sisaled your scratching posts: scratch there, not the old parts! I re-sisaled the parts you like to scratch most so why are you not scratching there. I've re-sisaled before, from the same sisal roll, so I don't know why you're being weird this time.

Cats :catstare:

Thin Privilege fucked around with this message at 02:59 on Apr 25, 2017

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

grack posted:

Question: Where exactly do you fit on this lovely chart I swiped from Cracked.com? (Thanks Cracked!)



I mean in one of your earlier posts you said you had 8 cats...

I'm down to 6, ex husband took 2 away :(

So I'm in the middle, but would like to be at the far right :getin:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Kind of a negative-helldump but you jumped on my desk, potentially to get attention, but in the process you knocked over a lamp and broke it. I can't be even the slightest bit upset because seeing it was so adorable, and now you're under the bed, scared, by your own clumsiness. You made my horrifically bad day good cause it's the first time I've smiled all day. Thanks, cat :unsmith:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
I got my first cat as a kitten from a store (I was really dumb at the time), she farted such horrific smells it would clear a room. She was diagnosed with worms so it stopped but man those were bad.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Really you guys? Really?

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

Samuel L. Hacksaw posted:



Hank, I love you and you're a precious angel from heaven but you bite when we play

This is a normal cat game and is good, enjoy the scars :unsmigghh:

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

MrSquid posted:

pokerface ate my sofa and looked really fuckin' smug about it.

still convinced the ASPCA sold me a deformed fruit bat/gremlin and tried to pass it off as a dog.

That's definitely a gremlin/demon, I would contact your local exorcist asap.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

bunnyofdoom posted:



Look, yes, Harriet, I use you as my wingbunny. But, when I'm a cuddling my lady friend on the couch, that is not an excuse to run up the couch behind her and start nibbling her hair.

A good date woman (or man) would be happy about this.

Date ok with being groomed/eaten? = good date

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

McGiggins posted:

Sparky. You are an old cat now, but you've picked up some bad habits. Most of them i forgive you for because you had a really bad day when you were entirely eaten by a carpet snake and we had to cut you out of its mouth (snake lived). That would tend to change anyone, i know it would me.

But, you dont live with me anymore. You live with an animal surgical specialist. Double PHD. True, the man who took your balls and then threw them at me, but also the man who... er, de-snaked you? This man is more than qualified to dissect you completely.

Which is why the new habit you picked up after i left of *hard* biting exposed toes (and immediately running away, showing you know its wrong) of said sleeping man at 1am is ill-advised. True, it was funny the first time i heard about, but after doing it for a week, i understood him chasing you around the house with a knife in kitty-gotta-die rage. Luckily you are super fast and agile for an old cat.

Last time you did it after this, while i was visiting, he caught you. He sat you down on the table, retrieved a freshly cleaned set of the surgical scapels from the autoclave, grabbed an illustrated textbook and very calmly discussed with you all the different cuts of meat he could get from you.

The correct response to this impromptu and amazingly calm layout of all the ways you could be sliced and diced should *NOT* have been to very slowly, and clearly deliberatly lean over and gently bite his hand.

You are on borrowed motherfucking time, cat. I hope i can get you to come live with me soon.

:stare: what the gently caress

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
I don’t know which one of you guys did it. But your poo was outside the litter box. I assume it was one of two things: it got stuck in your butt cause of grooming so it fell out later, or it flew out while you were digging relentlessly. Regardless; I walk over to the bathroom and there’s this SMELLY SMASHED BY CAT PAWS piece of poo poo on my floor. They walked on it. Why. I smelled it and was there to clean it up within minutes of it having happened (smell of cat poo is sooooo bad)

Why. Do you hate me? Are you a cat that does cat things for cat reasons?

You guys. I love you but you are cats.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

Flying Leatherman posted:

Mola, stop sleeping on the drat stairs.

I assume Mola is the... proven innocent cat in your avatar?

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
Guys, I fed you an hour ago. I was gonna go to sleep but couldn’t fall asleep so I stayed up a bit. You are acting like you’re starving and haven’t eaten all day. You are so... I don’t even know the word. Just go to sleep, guys.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

FoldableHuman posted:


Amy says "your posts are bad, delete your account."

She's not wrong, she's just an rear end in a top hat.

You have a very very old Apple keyboard.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply