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Personally I've always felt like we have a fairly limited amount of time on this rock and it's silly not to try as many new things and enjoy yourself as often as possible before you die. But lots of people don't feel that way! Some people have addiction problems and cut out the problem substance entirely, that makes sense. But other people just never indulge, even though there's no reason to believe that they couldn't do so responsibly. Tell me about why you choose not to drink or do drugs or why you want/wanted to wait until marriage to gently caress.
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Jan 13, 2015 12:51
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Some people may have not had addiction problems themselves, but have witnessed friends/family members/etc have their lives ruined by X substance/drug and choose to not even try it. The no sex before marriage thing is almost always a religiously motivated thing, and most people either give up on it and make up silly rules for what does and doesn't count as sex and are just as promiscuous as non-religious people. They are the same as anyone who makes a morally based lifestyle choice, whether it's not drinking alcohol, not eating meat, etc - some people just choose to live that way. Sure, they COULD do those things and live just as happy a life or a happier one, but they just don't want to compromise their beliefs/values at the time. There's not much more to it.
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Jan 13, 2015 13:46
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Thanks, its helpful to start with the concept of people choosing not to do fun things, but the real goal of this thread is for those people to come share what they avoid and why and how they feel about it 
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Jan 13, 2015 20:05
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A lot of fun things come with cons along with the pros. Some people I've met enjoy drinking just fine but don't think its worth it for the drawbacks(hangover, lack of motor control, the shits). I used to think they were just pussies but now I'm 30 and a night of drinking comes at a heavy cost.
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Jan 13, 2015 20:13
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Arnold of Soissons posted:Thanks, its helpful to start with the concept of people choosing not to do fun things, but the real goal of this thread is for those people to come share what they avoid and why and how they feel about it Some people have different ideas of what fun is?  I'm not a teatotaler but I drink maybe once or twice a year tops, I've never really understood the appeal of alcohol or enjoyed the experience all that much outside of the sheer novelty. Most of the people I see drinking don't actually seem to be having all that great a time either. It probably doesn't help that I grew up in a rural shithole where everybody drank all the time because life sucked, even at college I was just surrounded by people from other rural shitholes. I wouldn't have even bothered giving alcohol a serious try if I hadn't moved to a somewhat larger city and met a few people who actually seemed to have a really good time drinking, but even then they're in the minority.
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Jan 13, 2015 22:28
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I don't indulge in drugs/alcohol because my mom's an addict. I don't know my dad but I know that he is/was an addict too. I've seen too many people, including friends, go overboard and mess up some aspect(s) of their lives. Of course, it is possible to be responsible with it and I know that. I don't even think I would become an addict if I did get into those things, so it's not really out of fear of repeating the cycle. I just want to avoid something that I've seen cause so much destruction. I smoked weed a few times when I was 15 but didn't enjoy it a whole lot. I've never drank even a sip of alcohol or tried other drugs. My life is just fine without it all. I'm happy and see no need to do it myself. I have fun going to parties where other people are drinking and smoking weed, so it's not like I "miss out." Anything else you'd like to know, feel free to ask. 
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Jan 14, 2015 01:05
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This is probably totally rear end backwards, but I spent most of my twenties not drinking because both of my parents are hardcore alcoholics and I didn't want to go down that path. Once my long-time bf broke up with about a year and a half ago I did start drinking socially and it is fun as hell and makes me way less socially awkward and now I'm mad at myself for being such a goody-two-shoes when I was younger. But basically I abstained for so long because I didn't want to emulate my parents.
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Jan 14, 2015 02:23
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I've never tried alcohol and I've never felt like I've missed out on anything. When I was younger I hated seeing how stupid it made people and how much it was abused. Now that I'm in my 30s I feel there's no reason to start, and I feel like there are economic and health benefits from not drinking either. It is nice being able to go out to eat with my wife for $20 bux, or having a night out with friends without a triple digit bar tab.
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Jan 14, 2015 12:45
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Neither of my parents drink, not for any addiction reasons but because they're both pretty introverted people who just don't enjoy the taste of alcohol. I was raised in an alcohol free environment, when I tried it I too was disgusted by the taste. It literally does not matter what I drink, if it has a hint of alcohol in it you might as well have poo poo in that drink. I know this because my friends spent many years plying me with free drinks, I've tried most wines, beers and spirits. From 18-22 I drank socially because peer pressure and free stuff, yeah. Also, competition. I'm quite good at drinking games and I love games. Spirits were my choice of drink as they generally only tasted like poo poo and packed the most punch. Eventually I decided to cut it out because I hated the taste and alcohol is expensive. It doesn't lubricate me socially at all, I might as well be drinking diarrhea because everyone else is. I'll just say 'no' and if they push it tell them all alcohol tastes like paint thinner to me (it does). My partner also doesn't drink, sometimes she'll wistfully talk about drinking some wine or something. She's welcome to it, I have many bottles in my pantry because people give wine as gifts a lot. I usually regift it. I spend my money on better things. Also, I'll live longer? So yeah. My tastebuds are much happier for it. Been there, done that, never again.
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Jan 14, 2015 15:33
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I'll dime in on the "my family showed me the full spectrum of drug and alcohol abuse so it's got no appeal" thing. Without too much detail, my parents were and are terrible alcoholics and around age 12 I got to go to my cousin's funeral (he was 19) because he overdosed on heroin and got dumped in front of a hospital by his "friends" after being unresponsive for far too long. I had the odd beer with my dad growing up, and after meeting my current girlfriend I've been known to have the odd glass of wine or mixed drink when we go out to dinner but I've never looked at something and said "yeah, this would be better if I were shitfaced". Prior to meeting her, I had not ever had hard liquor or anything other than a handful of cheap, awful beers. I got through college and everything straight up refusing to drink, and got a fair bit of resentment for that, which made me hate it more. Solanumai fucked around with this message at 19:14 on Jan 14, 2015 |
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Jan 14, 2015 18:53
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Gabriel Pope posted:Most of the people I see drinking don't actually seem to be having all that great a time either. I've heard this reason and variants of it a lot, and it mystifies me. It seems like a lot of people equate "drinking alcohol" to "getting shitfaced", and I totally get not wanting to engage in that - I drink pretty frequently, but I haven't been really drunk since my early twenties, because I don't like the way it feels either and simply stop well before that point, but using the effects of huge amount of alcohol as a reason to not touch the stuff (potential addiction problems aside, of course, I'm talking about people with no history of addiction in the family or who doesn't point to that as a reason for not drinking) seems like saying deciding to never ever eat pizza because people who eat massive amounts of it get fat and unhealthy. There is such a big difference between enjoying a glass of craft beer or half a glass of good wine or a single malt whisky, and getting smashed from downing shots like they're going out of style, and I don't get why people refuse to partake in one because of the other. And I'm from Norway, so I'm intimately familiar with binge drinking as a cultural phenomena.
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Jan 14, 2015 18:59
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I spent my entire time in college abstaining from drinking and drugs, coming on the heels of thinking I was straight edge in high school. I got a moderate amount of grief for not partaking over the years -- but after a while people realized that was just who I was and let it drop. I didn't abstain forever, and I've definitely had some very enjoyable and very regrettable nights. As I grew up I realized that moderation is key in a lot of things, especially drinking. I've come to really enjoy certain breweries and beers, but when I go out I stick to a two beer/drink limit. Makes it easier.
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Jan 14, 2015 19:01
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Sockmuppet posted:I've heard this reason and variants of it a lot, and it mystifies me. It seems like a lot of people equate "drinking alcohol" to "getting shitfaced", and I totally get not wanting to engage in that - I drink pretty frequently, but I haven't been really drunk since my early twenties, because I don't like the way it feels either and simply stop well before that point, but using the effects of huge amount of alcohol as a reason to not touch the stuff (potential addiction problems aside, of course, I'm talking about people with no history of addiction in the family or who doesn't point to that as a reason for not drinking) seems like saying deciding to never ever eat pizza because people who eat massive amounts of it get fat and unhealthy. There is such a big difference between enjoying a glass of craft beer or half a glass of good wine or a single malt whisky, and getting smashed from downing shots like they're going out of style, and I don't get why people refuse to partake in one because of the other. And I'm from Norway, so I'm intimately familiar with binge drinking as a cultural phenomena. Other peoples tastes and opinions differ from your own, and some things you like and think are good, they may in fact not like. Consider yourself de-mystified.
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Jan 14, 2015 20:12
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Gabriel Pope posted:Other peoples tastes and opinions differ from your own, and some things you like and think are good, they may in fact not like. Consider yourself de-mystified. Wow, thank you, I hadn't thought of that  My question was why many people seem to equate drinking alcohol to getting smashed, and use "not wanting to get shitfaced like everyone else" as a reason for never touching alcohol at all. You said "most of the people I see drinking don't seem to be having a great time", but if you go into any decent restaurant you'll see people greatly enjoying a glass of wine or cognac, without any of the negative effects that I completely agree come with excessive drinking. How do you see them?
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Jan 14, 2015 21:23
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Sockmuppet posted:Wow, thank you, I hadn't thought of that People pursuing an expensive hobby that does not really hold much appeal to me? I understand why good drinks are interesting to a connoisseur but that does not mean that I find them particularly pleasant or enjoyable. It's not as though the fear of excessive drinking is the only thing keeping me away. For that matter I wasn't even really talking about excessive drinking, just people having 2 or 4 or 6 drinks over an evening. I mean, yeah, I don't look fondly at college memories of dormmates getting blackout drunk and being hungover either, but even in moderation most people don't seem to have a particularly good time buzzed vs. sober.
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Jan 14, 2015 23:58
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Just for the record, it's "teetotaler"; it's got nothing to do with tea.
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Jan 15, 2015 00:18
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I am bad at being a teetotaler because of social pressure and justifications I make up for myself, but I would prefer to be one. You get hella more done when you're not hosed up, and alcohol/drug use is frequently a form of escapism (actually, always, imo, even if you "have a drink to relax" -- you're escaping dealing with a sense of unease). I mostly do it because everyone else does. Drinks can taste good, sure, but maybe most of them would taste better without alcohol? I hate the taste of vodka, which is as flavorless an alcohol as you can get. I also find that when I drink and whatnot I can have the tendency to slip into depression, because it allows me to not think about the things in life that are bugging me, when I would be better off approaching them head-on.
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Jan 15, 2015 05:43
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Also drinking is loving expensive when everyone wants to go to ridiculous craft cocktail bars charging $13+ a drink.
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Jan 15, 2015 05:50
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I'm 32 and I've never had a drink. Two of my uncles died of cirrhosis when I was a kid because they were alcoholics, both of my grandfathers were alcoholics, and most of my dad's siblings were or are alcoholics. Most of them are also dead now. I have an addictive/obsessive personality and luckily realized that from a young age. I'll learn everything I can and throw myself into a topic if I take an interest in it. I've also got a lovely attitude towards food and regular drinks like water or soda. If I'm at a restaurant and a glass is put in front of me, I'll drink it. I'll have six or seven glasses of water in the course of a meal if they keep coming, and that's not even trying to drink them quickly or anything. I can't miss something that I've never had so it's really no big deal. There's no social pressure to drink for me, many of my friends are also teetotalers or light social drinkers. I've got my other vices (cigars) and saving money by not drinking is a happy side-effect.
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Jan 15, 2015 08:38
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I don't stay away from alcohol completely, but I only drink once or twice a year probably because I always get horrible migraines from it even after just a few. So I'd just rather not have to choose between taking the really expensive medicine it takes to get rid of the headache or feel like poo poo the whole day because I got a buzz. I also just don't have any particular urge to drink most of the time so it's not really something I put effort into. Probably helps that my parents are teetotalers (because their parents, grandparents, and several siblings were alchoholics) so it was never really a "normal" thing to have around the house for me.
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Jan 15, 2015 10:14
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I'm not an out and out teetotaller, but I generally think alcohol tastes awful, so I rarely drink. When I do, it's stuff which is so mild and/or mixed up that it doesn't taste bitter. Most of the people I've talked to about their alcohol habits started out disliking the taste, even if they've since become conneiseurs. Since I don't see any need to get drunk for the sake of it, I normally stick to soda, which means I've never gotten acclimatized, as it were. I may drink a Somersby or equivalent if they're there, but I don't go out of my way to buy alcohol. Sometimes when I mention this to acquintances, they go out of their way to get me to try new drinks, quite possibly even paying for it themselves. Depending on my mood, I may go along with it. Mostly it ends up tasting awful, but then again, sometimes not.
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Jan 15, 2015 11:01
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AlbieQuirky posted:Just for the record, it's "teetotaler"; it's got nothing to do with tea. I was worried that was the case but spellcheck said it was fine  Thanks everyone for your replies, for the people who just don't like the taste, have you tried  or other intoxicants? Or do you have more of a general vice-avoidance or risk averse lifestyle?
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Jan 15, 2015 14:18
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I've never had illicit drugs except pot a couple of times, which just made me horribly depressed for several days afterwards. During my teen years and to now I've been in antidepressants of some kind and never wanted to risk mixing them with street drugs or messing with my delicate brain chemistry. I've had all kinds of legal legitimately prescribed drugs for pain and anxiety throughout my life, right now I don't drink because I'm on a fentanyl patch and the Internet says you might die. I'm not crazy about drinking but I like the taste of a lot of things. But I often end up achey for some reason and my body doesn't need help feeling achey and painful.
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Jan 15, 2015 14:24
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Arnold of Soissons posted:I was worried that was the case but spellcheck said it was fine I've smoked hella weed but there's no good reason that I have beyond being bored/it becoming a compulsion at a point after you've been doing it daily. I used to get super blazed to study and do homework because it was the only way i could get myself to sit and do it, then I realized that was pretty stupid and I should be able to do things without feeling like I needed to be high. Tripped plenty of times; don't any more because it takes a long time (and you aren't gonna be useful for much during that time) and can be uncomfortable. Other drugs... opiates make me feel nauseous. MDMA can be fun but I hate the act of buying it and wondering if you're actually getting MDMA or a mix of random chemicals. Amphetamines suppress my appetite too much and I wind up feeling sick because I don't eat. Cocaine is okay but has the same problem as MDMA, also quality varies greatly, and you can have a hangover from it the next day. I'm actually kinda thankful that the only drug I find enjoyable enough to do daily is weed. Seen too many people gently caress themselves up/die on other drugs.
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Jan 15, 2015 14:49
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Miranda posted:But I often end up achey for some reason and my body doesn't need help feeling achey and painful. You are either drunkenly bumping into things and forgetting or your muscles are dehydrated bc you forgot to have some water
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Jan 15, 2015 17:50
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I don't drink alcohol very often (maybe once or twice a year) because I just don't like the taste. When I was young I'd drink to get drunk, and the middle ground of just having a couple of glasses because you enjoy it never really got through. I've smoked hash a few times but it just seemed to make me paranoid and sleepy. There were a few times I got the desired effect but most of the time it was just a bit rubbish. I've tried a variety of illicit drugs in the past which were fun but I have young kids in the house and getting wasted isn't really something I want to do any more (also the very slight risk of damage or getting caught would be such a clusterfuck it wouldn't be worth it). Maybe when they leave home. It doesn't bother me though when other people do and I don't think they're bad things to do.
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Jan 15, 2015 18:30
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I've tried weed and cigarettes. Neither were to my taste (literally  ), so I haven't bothered with them again. I do sometimes accompany smokers outside for the conversation. So long as I don't stand windward of them, I can get a breath of fresh air at the same time. My vices of choice are food and chocolate. I don't much care if it's healthy or not, so long as it's tasty. Bacon, ratatouille, it's all good.
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Jan 15, 2015 23:17
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I used to drink a lot (5-7 days a week) and decided I needed to get a handle on it because I was getting old. So I set up a scheme that let me drink heavily, basically when I wanted to, while still drinking vastly less than I was. It goes by months: Jan: 1 day when you can drink what you like Feb: 2 days when you can drink what you like ... June: 6 days when you can drink what you like July: 6 days when you can drink what you like, 1 day when you can have 2-3 drinks ... December: 6 days when you can drink what you like, 6 days when you can have 2-3 drinks. I've kept to that for a year and it really fits my genetic need to drink like a fish from time to time (Irish). There's always the prospect of more booze to look forward to, and you can plan out when is gonna be a fun day/night to be indulgent. But overall if you don't drink too crazy much on your 'whatever' days you'll hover at the high end of the acceptable drinking guidelines.
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Jan 16, 2015 01:55
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Arnold of Soissons posted:You are either drunkenly bumping into things and forgetting or your muscles are dehydrated bc you forgot to have some water It's the latter. The former happens even without drinking. Also I have a weird autoimmune arthritis.
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Jan 16, 2015 03:37
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Here's my reason: My father was killed by a drunk driver when I was very young. That guy ruined my family's lives. He barely served any jail time. He didn't have car insurance and was dirt poor so my family didn't get anything from him for the crime. Pretty much my mom stopped drinking anything and I grew up in a alcohol free lifestyle -- everytime my mom passed by the intersection where my dad was killed, she would always point out to the site and say "thats where your dad died." Also, I found out later as I grew older that my oldest brother was an alcoholic in his 20s. My uncle is an alcoholic today. Both have done drugs. As a result, I've always had a need for self-control because I know I have a tendency to be very compulsive so I don't need that temptation to escape. I used to get alot of grief from people about not drinking -- especially in college. I don't tell them my personal reasons but it still pisses me off that people have their own reasons and shouldn't pry.
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Jan 16, 2015 05:46
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I don't drink primarily because I don't like the taste. At one point I said "Well, I guess it's an acquired taste.", but five years after that I still couldn't stand it, so I stopped drinking entirely. That, and getting drunk never did anything for me. I would get "drunk" from drinking, but it never changed my personality or loosened me up or whatever, it just made my head swim a little and impair my balance. My friends confirmed that fact, saying I was the exact same drunk or sober.
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Jan 16, 2015 09:25
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I was never a heavy drinker in college or in my 20s. I liked trying new beers, especially thicker, darker ales and stouts. Loved Guinness, loved Belgian ales like Delirium Nocturnum, was really starting to get into American microbrews. But back then, I felt like I had such little control over my life that I didn't enjoy voluntarily giving up more control, and I was deathly afraid of drinking too much and getting pulled over. I also used to attend a lot of shows at smaller clubs in those days, and hated it when people drank too much and turned into rowdy assholes, pushing and shoving and angling for fights. But when I met my wife in my late 20s, she was only a few months into recovery. She also has a disability that causes her chronic back and neck pain, and she has to take several medications to help keep it all under control. Some of them could be quite dangerous if you mix them with alcohol, which is the last thing she needs. Very early on, before we even said "I love you" to each other, I promised her that while we were together, if she would try her best to not drink, I would quit drinking too, to support her and keep her safe. I've stuck to my promise, although she relapsed a few times in very minor ways a few years into our relationship, with never more than one drink at a time. I understand that relapse is an almost inevitable part of recovery, but since then, she has been completely sober for five and a half years, and I am so proud of her. I know it isn't always easy for her either, since our culture is so big on celebrating events with drinking, drinking when you go out, drinking together with friends, and all that. We toasted with sparkling grape juice at our own engagement party and our wedding. We never hang out at bars, we drink soda or water when we go to concerts or comedy shows, we love going out to eat and enjoy how much money we always save, and of course we keep an alcohol-free house. I just want to do everything I can to not tempt her, so I don't even drink when I'm alone or with friends now. On occasional work-related social functions, including business trips out of town that often end up at restaurants and bars, I politely abstain. It's just easier that way, and I don't miss it. The funny thing is, people are often surprised or put off when we say "No thanks." They insist on knowing why two adults would rather drink root beer or lemonade or water, since it's apparently SO WEIRD (especially in our mid-30s now, when everyone seems obsessed with boozy brunches, craft beers, Scotch tastings, and pounding drinks when they have a babysitter). I told my wife that we don't owe anyone an explanation, so now, instead of saying "We don't drink" and getting the occasional challenge, we try saying "We can't drink." People assume it's either a religious thing (not in our case) or a medical thing (kinda-sorta in her case), and they're less likely to push for a further explanation.
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Jan 17, 2015 20:34
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Alcohol has almost as many calories as fat and slows muscle growth. I like my gains.
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Jan 18, 2015 01:50
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I'm one of those that don't drink because even a hint of alcohol tastes unpleasant to me. I've once drank to see if I could get drunk and how it feels (cringing the whole time in distaste) and, well. My head swam a bit. I felt that I needed to be more deliberate with my movements. Nothing changed about my mental processes and self-expression (but then again I'm pretty uninhibited sober anyway). I've tried weed a couple times and got nothing out of except for a slight amplification of my mood at the time (not a pleasant experience when you're on the edge of depression, a mildly pleasant one when you're happy) and a headache afterwards. My body has a very weird relationship with mind- and preception- altering substances/situations in general. Any anaesthetics wear off way quicker then my doctors expect them to and I rarely bother to use painkillers, because I reliably get the side effects without the pain relief. So I never "indulge" and am sceptical about trying other substances "to enjoy life" when I have a vast amount of experience that says that my system will burn through it quickly and leave me with the after effects without any pleasant experience to savour. ...I do love tea, though! And spices. Proper masala chai is a great way to get something akin to a high without any aftereffects for me.
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Jan 19, 2015 00:11
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Big Bad Voodoo Lou posted:Very early on, before we even said "I love you" to each other, I promised her that while we were together, if she would try her best to not drink, I would quit drinking too, to support her and keep her safe. I've stuck to my promise, although she relapsed a few times in very minor ways a few years into our relationship, with never more than one drink at a time. Wow thats a pretty big responsibility to sign up for with a girlfriend
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Jan 19, 2015 12:06
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Lokapala posted:..I do love tea, though! And spices. Proper masala chai is a great way to get something akin to a high without any aftereffects for me. I've had pleanty of chai masala but never any like that!
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Jan 19, 2015 12:07
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I love the swaddling of bullshit some people wrap around their reasons for being teetotal. 90% of the time they are just perpetuating some half-baked decision they made as a child or teenager that they've kept up so long that it's developed into a kind of aggrandised mythology that they have to keep up. I once lived with somebody who claimed to hate chocolate and wouldn't eat anything with chocolate on it. When she ate stuff that had like, a tiny covering of chocolate, but you couldn't even taste it, she'd be like eurghh I can taste it, sorry no. I felt it was pretty much just psychosomatic, so I started making desserts with disguised chocolate in, slowly building up to making things that tasted pretty drat chocolatey, but I would lie about what was in them, and she liked all of them. I made one or two of them the same way but without disguising it and said they had chocolate in, but my other roommates pressed her to try some saying it wasn't "really" chocolatey, she did, and she was like eurghhh no all over again, even though it was the same. makes u think
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Jan 19, 2015 16:54
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I'm teetotal and always have been, I didn't like the taste as a kid/teenager and never bothered to try and overcome that. I took acid once when I was at college, it was OK but I've never felt the need to do it again. I also don't smoke or drink coffee. I smell great and I'm rich (Not really).
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Jan 31, 2015 07:18
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Jeza posted:I love the swaddling of bullshit some people wrap around their reasons for being teetotal. 90% of the time they are just perpetuating some half-baked decision they made as a child or teenager that they've kept up so long that it's developed into a kind of aggrandised mythology that they have to keep up. I mentally replaced chocolate with jizz in this post. Makes you think (that you probably shouldn't spike your roommate's food, you shithead).
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Jan 31, 2015 15:30
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My mom is why I don't drink. She's a good woman (classroom helper, trip chaperone, girl scout troop leader, community volunteer) with an on-again-off-again horrible habit. When I was in kindergarten, my dad sometimes had to get me out of bed and dressed at 1 AM to go driving around bars looking for her car to find out why she wasn't home with us. She totaled her car once rolling it off an embankment and into a tree, barely kept her license because my dad pulled strings with Masonic lodge buddies in the local courts, and her drinking led to my parents' divorce when I was a teen. My now-fiance first met her after she'd been drinking over four days to self-medicate tailbone pain of falling down some steps and I had to wrangle her into some pants and drive her to the hospital. I used to get a lot of heat from my friends for not drinking in my early twenties, but everyone dropped it once they realized I was permanent designated driver/drunksitter/wingwoman/person who makes sure they pass out in their hotel room and not on the beach. Now most of them drink rarely due to having babies or being perpetually broke, so it never became a big deal for me.
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Jan 31, 2015 16:33
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