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Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Let's play Carte Blanche: First Episode - For a Fistful of Teeth

Start by taking a look at the UK retail cover...

A game so good it came with a demo for Limbo of the Lost as a bonus.


Once upon a time there was an indie French-Canadian game developer Absurdus. In 2002 they made an adventure game called Eye of the Kraken which is a closed-space conspiracy investigation and treasure hunt. Sort of like The Last Express, on acid. If you want a game where smoking a shrimp through a hookah lets you talk to Karl Marx help yourself to it, it's now freeware.

Eye of the Kraken ended on a cliffhanger, so naturally the next game by Absurdus, Carte Blanche: First Episode - For a Fistful of Teeth, was completely unrelated to it. Released in 2006 this film noir gritty PI murder mystery featured the murder of graphics, the mystery of atrocious voice acting, and a cliffhanger ending after less than three hours. You can buy it for :10bux:

Absurdus did announce a combined sequel to both games, The Eight Tentacles of the Apocalypse, and even made a trailer for it, but the studio is currently hibernating, the lazy bastards.

Another schnitzel?
Bless you. Carte Blanche is a point & click game of morbid and random humour, simple puzzles and odd characters. If follows the adventures of an Edgar Delacroix who moves to Montreal to become a man. We help him on his journey by building up his skills in a variety of ways. The game has "RPG elements", and some of the content can be blocked off if you miss a chance to improve your stats. It's nothing critical, but the character export feature allows you to carry over Edgar and all of his abilities into the second episode. That is, if Absurdus ever makes one.

My ears!
Ah, I see you've watched the first video bonus. Indeed, the voice acting in Carte Blanche is horrifying. People like to bitch about VAs in many games sounding flat. Cart Blanche will make you realize that actors sounding like they speak English is already an achievement.


Tooth 1. Big and Hairy.
Tooth 2. A Granite Replica.
Tooth 3. Facial Insalubrity.
Tooth 4. Another Schnitzel, or Goddamn Chicken-poo poo.
Tooth 5. Normal Womanly Activities.
Tooth 6. Fire of God.
Tooth 7. The Edgar Mobile.
Tooth 8. Double Ration.
Tooth 9. Macabre Deeds.
Tooth 10. To Be Continued...

SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Jan 31, 2015


Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Tooth 1. Big and Hairy.

: Introducing the icon for my commentary.

: The curtain opens...

: ...and Absurdus hides in the bathroom.

: Either way, we're in for a ride. I think they used the same people for dubbing both versions.

: Let's go.

: As for my father, he made some kind of sign. I wish I understood what he meant. At least they seemed to agree on something which is pretty rare. The big city will make a man out of me. Was it really necessary to go so far just for that? I don't understand why I couldn't become a man in Quebec City. Meanwhile, there are some more urgent matters. For example: living in my Uncle Albert's apartment... He's the eccentric in the family. A taxidermist.

: The inner monologue (marked by Edgar's Hat) in Carte Blanche is never voiced. That's a good thing.

: ...if you like them big and hairy, you'll be satisfied. I wonder if he was referring to the animals or to Mrs. Malaki, the landlady.

: No posters... No bringing back women... No bleeding... No drinking... No blasphemy... ...and by the way, the bathroom is at the end of the hallway.

: That was first voiced line of the game. Well, a collection of lines. Due to some production insanity the voice for every individual line of the subtitles is stored as a separate .mp3 file.

: A big city, a new home... The only thing left it to find a job. What do we have here?

: ...salary... call at...

: My PhD on Napoleon wars represents and astronomical amount of research! And there's a complete chapter on weapons in it! This job is mine! No one is better qualified for this job than me!

: I'm in control less than two minutes into the game. We can start by examining the room, but I'll make the phone call right away.

: The blue options are generic commands, the green options are unique commands which mostly involve using an inventory item.

: Yes, that's right, I...

: No, no prob...

: 257 Saint-John, ok...

: By the way, I have to tell you my English isn't so good...

: Is that so? Everybody in Montreal has a terrible accent?

: Excuse me, but who exactly will find it cure and exotic?

: But what people?

: Alright, see...

: Another thing about the voices in Carte Blanche is that sometimes they don't match the subtitles. For now the differences are minor.

: Before I examine the room, let's look at the inventory. It's presented as a simple list, but every item has its own page full of lore.

: The uncle seems like a nice fellow. Don't see the line about "big and hairy" though.

: Yes, it was fun. Thank you, inventory writer.

: We shall meet this ravishing Jeannine very soon.

: Edgar also has a file for current cases where he records things he needs to do.

: I'll be neglecting it for most of the game.

: Anyway, the room. We can examine the stuffed things, starting with the turkey.

: The ogre-turkey of the Philippines. Certainly my uncle's master work. Obviously he wasn't exaggerating this bird's dimensions. Oh, aberration of nature!! How will I live with you?

: The shark.

: I have to say I like its style. Nevertheless, I wonder... How many kilos of human flesh has he eaten before ending here?

: The camel.

: How did my uncle ever get this in here? Maybe emptied it totally before stuffing it right here. I prefer not to think about that.

: Examining all three triggers an epiphany of sorts.

: What a strange trade it is, manufacturing corpses!

: And that's our first skill gain.

: Now clicking on any of the stuffed articles offers us a red option to use Edgar's skills.

: Expert work, in my humble opinion.

: Enough corpses, let's examine the window.

: Ah! Urban life's endless bustle.

: On the wall in the corner there's a map we can examine and even take.

: A map of the city.

: We can also examine the commode where the phone is.

: Total lack of style... I'll never get used to modern.

: The white object is keys. Also examinable.

: My uncle's key chain. A stuffed rabbit paw. Pleasant...

: Can we take them?

: One last thing to see is a poster.

: Ah! Josephine Baker... I guess my uncle's tastes aren'e all that bad. See you in my dreams, Honey!

: Exit down to the hallway.

: Something interesting is going on here. Let's examine Mrs. Malaki.

: Looks like the landlady is spying on someone...

: Woo-hoo! With the new knowledge I dash back into Edgar's room (first door on the right) and head for the window.

: Hey! That's Mrs. Malaki sitting on a bench on the other side of the street. Now I know what she's doing the whole day! Is that a telescope in her hands? Retreat!

: Back to the hallway we go.

: Would you believe that your neighbour... ...the so-called poet... has been in there for over an hour? And what is he doing?

: He's howling abominations he dares call poetry! I do hope you're not a poet.

: Well... er... no.

: Good! Very good! Ah! If my dead husband heard that... ...he probably would have grown a seconds goitre. Well, I have to go.

: Goodbye Mrs...

: The bathroom door offers many possibilities.

> Enter

: The door is locked.

> Examine

: The bathroom door.

> Spying [1]

: The roof... The roof... The roof is on fire! We don't want no water let the old Malaki burn! Burn old Malaki Burn!

: Inspired!

: There are two more poems we can hear via spying. They are picked at random.

: Contempt, score, rage! I am the putrefied, the syphilitic! My star squirts a purifying pus! My lute is constellated with chyme...

: I think I've had enough...

: Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping? Brother John? Brother John? He hung himself to the bell... His body goes ding dang dong.

: Ok, that's enough.

: And that's all we'll ever hear of the poet.

Now, a bonus video featuring the intro, the phone call and the poetry.

: Back in the hallway we can do things to the lockers near the exit.

> Examine

: Mailboxes.

> Open

: My uncle's mailbox is locked.

> Keys

: 'Beware! Prepare for a shock! And all that by postal service!' I think I'm scared!

: That was our share of plot-relevant mail. In addition to that checking out the mailboxes again provides a few random spam letters.

: Tired of working every single day for five cents? Own a farm in Yukon! First harvest guaranteed within 15 years! A few farming lots still available.

: Publicity... Feeling weak? Can't concentrate? Drink yourself a nice bottle of McTaouk whiskey! Mind sharpness and increased motivation guaranteed!

: Let's see... Light dresses' season is coming... Improve your starving figure with the Abyssinian balm! Get a chest that will make milking cows jealous.

: Here's Edgar's resume with a summary of all of his abilities. His best developed trait is naiveté. That doesn't sound too good for getting a job in a big city, but let's give it a shot.

: Actually... I'm here for the job.

: Her voice is like a modulated death rattle.

: ...and here's Jeannine, my secretary. Our agency is a leader in private investigation business.

: Were you expecting anything else?

: Yes, but then, why not?

: Okay, I'm the one asking questions but Jeannine is the one who puts salt in the wounds.

: Yes.

: Are you ready?

: Hmm... I'll go with "Yes".

: Yes.

: Alright, lad, let's do it. You're only 26 years old and you're new in town. Sure you've got some ideas but...

: ...but you're totally inexperienced with no useful contacts whatsoever. You may well know the name of Alexander's 56th lover, it doesn't mean you could handle a gun like a man!

: Exactly. So what makes you think you're the right guy for the job?

: One option is right, the other two lead to more talking.

> Modesty

: I might not be the most qualified man but I'm paved with good intentions!

: What we're looking for, is someone with balls, not a choir boy.

> Simplicity

: I've always dreamt of being introduced to Montreal's banditism scene. My eagerness to learn will certainly make up for my inexperience.

: We've seen dozens of your kind! Totally devoted Mama's boys. Young people these days... you've got no spark. Charleston dancing and opium smoking between two classes!

> Bold

: Yes, I'm only 26, but really... you should see me as a long term investment! New in town? No better fit from an infiltration job! Useless academic knowledge? Consider that History is an ancient Greek word from investigation! To discover the facts from what remains... Isn't that exactly what you do here?

: Good... Very good...

: Hmphm... looks unreliable to me. We'll have to nail him down when the wind blows too hard.

: Let's say you've got a one litre container will 500ml of water in it, would you say it's half full or half empty...

: ...or halfway between two absolute poles?

: I'll pick a wrong option.

> Philosophical

: I don't believe in that white and black dichotomy.

: Just like this game.

: Nothing is ever simple.

: A philosopher, uh? Who needs a stinking philosopher around here?

> Optimistic

: Half full! I'm a man that stays on his feet. I can make the best of all the available resources!

: Good, you seem sound enough.

: Easy enough to say when sitting down on a chair!

: Considering the work of a private investigator what is your biggest weakness?

> Teacher's pet?

: I have a habit of stepping back and learning from those who demonstrate great genius and life-long experience.

: That's fine, but I'll also need you to have some initiative.

: Balls! We need balls! Just like Isaac!

: Isaac?

: Well, we won't be doing much deliberating. You're the best candidate we've seen. Your salary will be five fine Canadian dollars a week plus a bonus for appropriately closed cases.


: Today I've got some paperwork for you. Jeannine will take you you your office. Tomorrow, I'll put you on some cases.

: Edgar already gets an office? Wow!

: But it certainly is a promising start!


: Umm... Perhaps next time.

Another bonus video. The Interview.

Trivia: The Russian release of CB added an extra layer of absurdity as the game which doesn't even reach 400MB in size somehow turned into a 2CD 800MB edition. The poo poo our publishers would do to double the price of a jewel case on a store shelf. It's a miracle the fully localized Russian release of Monty Python & the Quest for the Holy Grail was not bloated.

SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Jan 13, 2015

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Tooth 2. A Granite Replica.

Previously on Carte Blanche...

Edgar's Stats

Naiveté 11
Spying 1
Taxidermy 1

: We enthusiastically head to the agency.

: Although, an optional talk with the landlady might prepare us for hearing more of Jeannine.

: You seem to be here pretty often, Mrs Malaki... you live in this building too?

: Holy Christos! Are you mad?! With the rotten floors, the wallpaper peeling off and the shoddy plumbing? I would probably end up eaten by rats during my sleep!

: So I guess telling you about the problems with the floors, the plumbing, the wallpaper and the vermin is useless?

: What could I ever do about it? Ever since the death of my beloved husband I'm just a poor widow living in eternal mourning. But you... YOU! You are a strong, well-built gentleman! You could certainly take care of these small repairs!

: This particular conversation has an immediate follow up you hear by talking to her again.

: If I may, how long have you been mourning your husband?

: My poor husband! May he find peace up there! He left this world so quickly! Ah! It all began when I was still very young...


: ...and that's how we ended up here. He worked so hard to offer us a good standard of living...


: ...and that's when I suggested we invest in real estate...


: I think Edgar is dozing off.

: I had told him many times not to touch these baklavas, but he was so stubborn!

: That's how he died? Food poisoning?

: She leaves, and so should Edgar, now that his will to live is sufficiently low for detective work.

: This time we can actually take a look around the office. The mysterious door is ready for examination and opening.

: I wonder where this door leads to. An interrogation room, perhaps? Or the armoury? A secret exit for emergencies?

: You're not at the movies. This is the darkroom to develop pictures.

: Yes, Jeannine responded to Edgar's internal monologue. How will she react to us opening the door?

: Don't you go near this door!

: Ew. Well, Edgar's desk is right there behind Jeannine. What's his take on his workplace?

: Well, it was worth graduating from University to end up on a school bench!

: Wonderful. As far as I know, Bitterness has no use in the game. [Bitterness] increased by experience.

: Here's Isaac. It's Jeannine's pet iguana. I could pet it right now, but I won't.
There a few more minor items in the office such as the file cabinet in the corner.

: A file cabinet, like all file cabinets.

: And there's a picture on the wall next to the clock.

: Looks like Gaspard was once a water polo player. That adds a new colour to the portrait of his already complex personality.

: What's with people reading Edgar's mind? Before tackling Gaspard proper let's chat with Jeannine.

: Isaac? The iguana? Are you nuts?

: Don't you like animals?

: Yes, of course, but...

: Those who don't like animals don't like people either. Would you like me to tell the boss you don't like him?

: Alright! Alright!

: This sausage-rich appendage strokes the lizard a few times too many.

: You're sure he's alive?

: Yes, he always takes a nap after his cigarette.

: The iguana smokes!?

: Everybody does!

: Now and forever Jeannine is available for small talk. We should definitely know her better.

: We would be able to see better in the office.

: And put Isaac on a diet? Never!

: The least we can say is you certainly know how to tackle all the hidden facets of a problem...

: There's more small talk where that came from.

: Do you ever sleep or drink?

: I'd rather die.

: You surely have a strange sense of humor.

: What sense of humor?

: And the final small talk with Jeannine. Most characters have only one.

: You...

: No!

: But I...

: I said no! Don't you know that what a lady says no, it means NO?

: The etiquette lesson is over. Time to talk to the boss.

: It's a good thing you've joined us already. The first case is a classic. A husband got his hands on a passionate rendezvous note in his wife's things. Now he wants compromising pictures to justify divorce.

: We often get cases like that?

: It's the profession's bread and butter. It seems that God put the whole of world's spouses in heat to fill our pockets.

: I see...

: Yay! Edgar's first naiveté loss. The game loads a wrong character, probably because the locale of my OS is set to Russia.

: Jeannine will give you the incriminating message. You'll find the hotel's name and the time of the meeting on it. It's today, so there's no time to waste. She'll also lend you our picture camera to do the job.

: Alright. And the second case?

: My friend Telesphore was robbed of a valuable object. He runs an antique shop. I'd like you to begin the investigation on this case. (the VA actually says "I'd like to have you look at this case as soon as possible.") Jeannine will give you his shop's address. (VA: "Jeannine will give you the address of his store.")

: That's how most of the discrepancies go: same meaning, different sentence, or a word replaced by its synonym. I'll only point out the one or two cases when it's really off the script.

: You think I'll manage?

: Try! I'll be here to guide you, anyway. For now, I'll show you a few tricks of the trade. The first thing to learn is how to interrogate. Say I'm some kid and you're sure I stole your apple. Make me admit it.

: Surely, we can just ask politely.

: Wouldn't you have my apple, perchance?

: No.

: drat. What about his conscience?

: You're a big disappointment, kid...

: So what?

: Family values?

: Give me back my apple or I'll tell your mother!

: Yeah you do just that... but you'll have to find her grave first!

: And that leaves...

: I know you have it. Give it back and I'll keep my mouth shut.

: Yes, that will work... To succeed in an interrogation, you gave to understand you subject's psychology. A street kid wants to keep out of trouble more than anything.

: Another important skill is observation.

: A can of dog food... An ordinary bottle opener... A granite replica of Jeannine... And a screwdriver. The tool, not the drink.

: Why is there a gra... Actually, I more curious to know which of the Jeannines is harder.

: Now cover your eyes for 10 seconds.


: You're given four options. If you manage to gently caress this up...

: You'll have to do better than that you doofus!

: No need to be rude. I'll figure it out eventually.

: That's it! Well played. (VA: Bravo! You got it.) The tin can is missing and it was on the far left.

: We're learning a lot today!

: Now you have to learn the basics of deduction. For that, nothing beats a good old syllogism. If I tell you: all mean are mortal, and Socrates is a man. What do you conclude?

: What? All men are mortal?!

: How much did you pay for that diploma of yours?

: That's the stock answer to the wrong options here. So, let's skip them.

: Socrates is a mortal.

: Exactly. The proof being: Socrates is dead.

: The last basic competence I want to show you is searching. That is: to go through someone's private belongings. Practice by finding my magnifying glass in this office. Go ahead, big boy!

: I hope the cast of 15 Days hasn't stolen it yet :ohdear:

: Our new skill is paying off allowing us to observe the file cabinet in its natural habitat.

: The drawer does stand out.

> Examine

: A drawer is open.

> Search

: Magnificent.

: Why don't we check it out more closely before we hand it over?

: I also remembered that we've received a camera and a note.

: Still no money in our pockets, though.

: Did you find the magnifying glass?

: Yes.

: Good! Keep it, it might come in handy.

: Well then, you might as well look into these first cases. I'll be expecting a report around five pm.

: This stat sheet keeps getting better and better with each day.

: Both the shop and the hotel are available. Let's pay our mentor's friend a visit.

: I have a ring here which was worn by the late Marie-Antoinette herself!!

: I'm Gaspard's Lemaotre's new assistant. I understand that you were robbed?

: Wel... If Gaspard sends me a junior, I guess I'll have to do with it. To keep things short, I imported a big Mayan sculpture from Mexico. It arrived by cargo the day before yesterday. Last night, someone broke into the shop and stole it.

: What does this sculpture look like?

: I'll let you have the picture for your investigation.

: It looks huge!

: Yes, getting it in was quite and adventure.

: Doesn't it look more like and Olmec sculpture though?

: Yes, well, you know, I said Mayan to keep it simple. I guess I'll let you go on with your work. Tell me if you find anything.

: There isn't a lot Edgar wants to interact with. There's the amphora, the huge anchor, the display case and the suspicious traces on the floor and the left wall. Start with the amphora.

: A Greek amphora! I just love Greek amphorae. Let's see... This is probably Ares who... no, wait, it's Hermes, according to his shoes... What is he doing?! He's playing poker with a dog! A hundred dollars for this obvious forgery?!

: The anchor.

: According to the label, this in an anchor from the Pinta, one of the three ships of Columbus' first expedition. In my humble opinion, the presence of this artifact here and in such a good state of preservation is highly suspicious.

: There's a small inscription on it... 'Made in New Dehli' If Columbus really wanted to find a road to the Indies...

: ...he should have simply followed his anchor supplier!

: Edgar is so excited he says is out loud.

: We can put our skills to test against the suspicious zone on the wall.

: I'll bet there was something on the wall there once. The sun has faded the wallpaper's colours, except on this spot. It looks neglected. Telesphore should put something else up there.

: Edgar can also use observation on the footprints.

: Hmm... According to these muddy footsteps I would say there were actually two robbers.

: Both of those boost Observation by one. Now to Telesphore himself.

> Examine

: I always wanted to know what and antiquary looks like. Well now I do. If only someone had told me I was buying antiquarian spectacles...

> Talk > Wall

: Was there ever something on this wall, right here?

: My, you are right! There was a superb Byzantine icon there. It seems it was stolen as well.

: It's strange that someone would only rob these two things. What's the link between a Mayan sculpture and an icon?

: I guess it's your job to find out.

> Talk > Police

: Did you tell the police about the robbery?

: Yes, I notified the local police station. They told me a detective was on the case.

> Talk > Small talk

: That's an impressive collection of marble young naked men you've got on display. Archaic period, I presume?

: I beg your pardon?

: Err... The peaks I certainly know how to climb. In the old days, I mean.

> Talk > Small talk

: Where do you know Gaspard from?

: He came into my shop once, and like you, he immediately saw through my little game. I showed him the real stuff and we became friends.

: Video of the small talk with the new character. Like Gaspard, he seems to know English.

: Finally, right in front of our client is a glass case of stuff.

> Examine

: There's a nice collection of holy relics here... The last rock to hit Saint-Stephen... Pontius Pilates' hand soap... Judas' purse... A burnt stick from the burning bush... Wait a moment, that's ridiculous! I'm beginning to thing these forgeries aren't here by mistake. My thinking is that Telesphore is a crook and that his real business is swindling high society women with poor judgement. I hear the new fashion is to show your wealth by displaying lavish collections of prestigious antiques.

[Phone ringing]

: Please excuse me a moment...

: He turns and leaves by phasing though that curtain in the back.

: Now let's see...

: Hmm... What do we have here? A box full of 'unique' Marie-Antoinette rings! Telesphore, you devious old rat... I can see right through you!

: He's coming back...

: I can also try to search the case when he's here, but...

: But I don't think Telesphore would appreciate.

: You certainly are right, boy.

: Uh? What? But how... But I didn't say anything!

: Me neither.

: Weird.

: Just a reminder that Examination is interrogation, not a form of Examine.

: I get the impression some of your items might not be totally authentic.

: That's absolutely impossible!

: Please, Mr. Doucet, How could you have a box full of Marie-Antoinettes' rings?

: That's a misunderstanding! These are Marie-Antoinette style rings from the XIXth century. It was simply shorter to write, you know?

: I think I'll need more examination practice to make this crook admit.

: Indeed, that was our first skill check failure. They have their own dialogue recorded and I'll try to show that when I remember to.

: We leave, and a new location shows up on the map. However, this is when I remembered that Edgar still has no money, so he probably should try to close the saucy photograph case before proceeding.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011

I can't get over the noses in this game :psyduck:

Look at em. You could cleave cliffs with those things.

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Tooth 3. Facial Insalubrity.

Edgar's stats

Naiveté 10

Bitterness 1
Deduction 2
Examination 1
Observation 3
Persuasion 1
Searching 2
Spying 1
Taxidermy 1

: It's time to make some money with those skills.

: By taking compromising photos of a couple in this hotel. On the outside only the fire stairs and the window catch Edgar's eye.

: These are the fire stairs. They lead to hotel rooms. Interesting!

: Nice big windows!

Windows > Spying [1]

: Hmm, the clerk is trying to remove the bell from the counter. It seems the bell has been welded there. I guess he doesn't like the music.

: Perhaps, we can put the knowledge to use. Let's head in.

Bell > Ring

: I'm right in front of you!

: Hmm... Let's do it again.

: The same dialogue plays. One more time.

: That's all we get out of the bell. We can't go up the stairs to search for the couple.

: I don't think a direct approach is appropriate in this situation.

: Well then, all that's left to see in the scene is the plant, the cane hiding behind the counter, and the desk clerk.

: The plant is in a pitiful state.

: Aren't you ashamed of criticizing the poor plant? It can't even defend itself!

: No, I have accumulated a lot of frustration lately. I do what I can to let of some steam.

: We can further humiliate the plant by using the magnifying glass.

: The deteriorated specimen is crawling with vermin. In fact, it really belongs in this place.

: Here you go again, are you plantophobic or something?

: How lucky Gaspard gave Edgar that course on tin can observation. It's the most useful skill so far.

: There's a cane behind the counter.

Clerk > Talk

: Whew! It's hot out there!

: That's really interesting, what you just said.

Clerk > Examination [1]

: Have you noticed an illegitimate couple, perchance? They come here regularly. She calls her man: Italian stallion.

: Well, not very subtle. He's ugly, she's ugly... They go well together.

: In which room are they?

: Hey! I got work ethics! I'm not one to spread personal information all over the place!

: Somehow, that failure does boost the skill. At least we've confirmed the couple is here.

Clerk > Persuasion [1]

: We need both. Starting with the cane.

: You definitely need to give me this cane.

: What makes you think that? I rather intend to sell it to a pawn shop.

: Try a different approach.

: I slept here recently and I forgot a cane...

: You never came here!

: drat.

: Good lord! I sprained my ankle on your broken pavement.

: So what? I'm not a doctor!

: Maybe not... but I'm am lawyer! I'll sure you for criminal neglect, facial insalubrity and indecent assault!

: No! Not that! The house will offer you a free night!

: I will not spend another minute in this death-trap you dare call a hotel! But perhaps I could settle for this can right there... it might come in handy in my new life as a cripple.

: Of course, I'll give it to you right now!

: Now, let's persuade him to tell us bout the couple.

: Hey Brother, tell me in which room they are.

: Why?

: I'm a friend of the cheating woman. I've come to tell her that her husband is coming back from work.

: Oh, I see, it's humanitarian work... They're in room 12.

: That nets Edgar another persuasion point.

: Persuading the clerk, the video.

: Outside, the walking stick solves the fire ladder puzzle.

: Up we go.

: Hmm... Not a bad idea.

: ...and considering what I'm currently seeing... ...gulp... I presume this is room 12. Let's see how this camera works...

: Here's one.

: If you look at the two shots above closely, you'll see that the wall texture changed. It happened when the game switched from the engine scene to an .mpg movie of picture taking.

: I think this one was better already.

: The camera has no flash. Edgar would have probably set the whole block on fire.

: Ok, that's enough.

: It's time to report in and get paid.

: Don't you know how to use it?

: I have the compromising pictures of the illegitimate couple!

: Give that to Jeannine, she'll develop them for you.

: Already giving me extra work? I knew hiring you would only mean trouble.


: Bringing pornography to work, huh? I'll make you doubles. You might learn something from it, Snow White!

: And then she laughs. *shudder*

: Hey! How do you know that...

: Zip it and come back when you've lost your virginity.

: A video of Jeannine laughing and making speech-like noises.

: Now we can hand the photos to Gaspard.

: Edgar, the perfectionist.

: We can see what there is to see. You've closed your first case, son, congratulations. You deserve a little bonus. Here's two dollars, don't spend it all on chocolate.

: With two dollars weighing down Edgar's pocket we visit the police station.

: Not an ounce of meat left on the poor thing! Ask for the latest news!

: Kid Butterfly is the reason we need the cold hard cash.

: A young boy forced to work to make a living... Ah! The big city's misery! In comparison, I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth!

: Wouldn't you be Gaspard's new assistant?

: Why yes! How did you know that?

: Knowledge is my speciality. By the way, don't you think an informer like me could be of use? Considering you know nothing about Montreal or this job in general?

: Yes, I suppose that it could be a good idea. What would you like in exchange, candy?

: Subscription to the newspaper is 50 cents, and the subscription to Kid Butterfly, that's yours truly, is also 50 cents.

: A dollar?! You crook!

: A single dollar to get both the official and officious news isn't that expensive. And please consider that I have s syphilitic mother to take care of. As well as five illegitimate brothers and sisters!

: A dollar is half of all our money! Piss off, kid.

: No! I won't be ripped off by a kid.

: As you wish, Boss! After all, you're only risking your whole career.

: He drives a hard bargain.

: Are you ready to accept my proposal?

: Ok, but it's robbery!

: Edgar is now better at robbery.

: Perfect, so now you can count on me. And here's today's newspaper.

: Edgar's case file has a number of updates.

: By the time I remember to check those the cases are already cracked. We still have an open one.

: Hopefully, the police will be able to provide us with more information.

: Hey, look, this guy also has a bell!

: This is not me reusing the .gif, it's the game reusing the .mpg from the hotel.

: What's your problem? I'm right here in front of you!

: I just love music.

: No easy skill gains here, but hiding in the back of the room is the notice board.

: It seems there's a reward for a luxury lighter. The lighter in question was last seen swallowed by a circus camel. A note was added mentioning the owner of the lighter died recently. I suppose they left the sign there to warn people against smoking camels.

: I haven't seen anyone smoke a whole camel befor... Wait, there was a camel in Edgar's room, wasn't it?

: That looks like a nerd elbow-deep in a stuffed camel. At least he didn't start with the other end.

: How did a lighter swallowed by the camel made it all the way into its stuffing? Edgar's uncle is indeed eccentric.

: Back to questioning the police.

> Talk

: So, how are the protectors of law and justice?

: Who?

: You know... the police!

: I don't know what you're talking about.

> Examination [2]

: Can you tell me who's in charge of the antique shop robbery?

: Huh? What? What's the matter again? Listen, if it's not about a murder in progress, let us do our job.

: Hey, you public servant! I'm paying for your salary, so get moving!

: Oh yeah, that argument. Like it's the first time I hear it. So, what is it you wanted to know?

: Who's the detective in charge of the antique shop robbery?

: Hmm... Let's see... Wait... It's all coming back... Hmm... It's almost there! Romeo Duguay, that's who.

: Thank you, now may I speak to him?

: Absolutely not!

: After this the cop becomes available for

> Persuasion [3]

: Let me speak to detective Duguay!

: My God! I am so totally intimidated! Mommy! I'm being intimidated!

: Alright, you can stop now, I get it.

: Help! Help!

: Intimidated policeman, now on video.

: Well, poo poo. There's nothing more we can get out of him, but...

: Let's see how Telesphore sings when we hit him with

> Examination [3]

: A fine connoisseur such as myself! You should know that I have a diploma from the Sorbonne! Not some worthless paper issued by a rural institution. I've travelled all around the world to gather this most exquisite collection of...

: Don't choke, brother... I'm sure you know your stuff and I understand you. To sell a fine piece to an ignorant is like feeding pearls to pigs! A fool comes in to buy Napoleon's hat, why not give him this simple satisfaction? And then you can keep the real stuff for the elite. But between us, Hermes playing poker is pretty weak by all standards.

: Alright, I admit I might sell a dubious artifact once in a while. But I've always done it so save real antiques with the money.

: And what about the Mayan sculpture? Is it real?

: A very good imitation. I would have made a fortune with it.

: Interesting. So the robber left with a fake, uh? Alright, I'll do everything to find your very good imitation.

: May I trust you not to spread the word about... hum... ...I could lose all my business you know?

: Trust me.

: With that piece of info extracted, it's about time we found a way to talk to the police detective.

: You know how to read, just buy the newspaper! It's all in there.

: The kid is of no use here.

: Let's give it a shot.

: I gave it to you just two days ago!

: I paid you two days ago! I paid you two days ago! That's all they can say, young people, nowadays! Ah! If my late husband was still here, he certainly would show you the good manners, believe me!

: But I guarantee you that my rent is paid!

: Ah! How dare you take advantage of a defenseless widow! Consider yourself lucky that I have to go somewhere now.

: Right. That still doesn't get us anywhere.

: Gaspard is the man we need.

> Talk > Small talk

: Not so fast, boy! In this business, you have to show yourself worthy and earn your badges. Solve a few cases, learn how to hold your booze and your tongue, and most importantly, get it in your head that the school benches are behind you. When you'll have proven yourself, we'll raise the desk by one or two centimetres.

: You mean it's adjustable?

: But of course! We only have the most up to date office furniture. I don't want to see you fiddling with it, though.

> Talk > Small talk

: So, how are things progressing?

: Not too bad, but you know mighty oaks from little acorns grow, as they say...

: Go get some fresh air, I think you're brain is overheating.

: "You're brain" is unwell. What we actually need to do is

> Talk > Police

: It depends on the policeman.

: A detective by the name of Romeo Duguay is on the antiquarian case. I'd like to speak to him, but the desk officer is blocking me.

: Romeo? That's great, he owes me plenty. I'll give him a ring and mention your name. Just tall the front desk cop you're there on my behalf. That should get you through.

: Thanks boss!

: If I were you, I'd go fetch detective Duguay immediately...

: And why would that be?

: I'm here on Gaspard Lemaotre's behalf, to whom Romeo owes a lot. I don't think he'd be very happy to learn that you're wasting my time.

: I sure hope for your own sake that you're not lying...

: Yes, that's true.

: Interesting... How may I help you?

: The hell? When Romeo warps into the room, it changes a little.

Romeo > Talk

: You're in charge of the antique shop robbery?

: That's right.

: Any promising leads at the moment?

: Not really. Mr. Doucet is known to be pretty hard in business. For the moment we're investigating the 'frustrated customer' angle.

: Ah. This point. Both Talk and Barter have the same result story-wise and only a small difference in the dialogue. However, missing out on the point gain here locks Edgar out of ever successfully using the skill in the entire game.

> Barter [1]

: If I came up with a new lead for the antique shop case would you pay me ten cents?

: Hmm... That's a reasonable price...

: Have you noticed a Byzantine icon was also stolen from the antique shop?

: Really? I guess we overlooked that. Not bad for a beginner.

: Is that a skill gain or a karma gain?

: Does that mean anything to you?

: Hmm... An icon... Well, there was that small-time thief by the name of Ivan Shopliftin... He was a real icon lover. I haven't heard of him in a long time, but it could be a lead.

: You remember our deal?

: Yes, here are your ten cents.

: Free money!

: Edgar prices himself, the video.

: We can talk to Romeo again for no particular reason.

: Anything new in the antique shop case?

: No, not really. Most of our agents are busy crushing union demonstrations.

: Look at all these awesome stats! Edgar is growing. And we are ready to follow the new lead immediately.

: Does the name Ivan Shopliftin ring a bell?

: Yeah.

: Would you know where to find him?

: Yeah.

: Then where?

: For 50 cents I'll bring you to him.

: But I've already given you a dollar!

: That was for the general subscription to my services. The info is paid by the piece. If you want Ivan, you better pay up.

: The nerve of that little poo poo... Too bad we grinded.

> Barter [2]

: Your subscription thing doesn't work. It's worthless if you end up paying every service anyways. I'll forget you tried to rip me off but you'll consider the 50 cents I gave you earlier as payment for this info.

: Oh well, alright, it was as scam, really.

: Nice. Two skill gains from one NPC.

: Let's go then!

: Ah... that was too good to be true.

: He's dead...

: Eh! I told you I'd bring you to him... I never pretended he would be alive!

: Very amusing. I guess one learns from ones mistakes.

: You said it! See you.

: Here lies Ivan Fedorovitch Kalita, aka Ivan Shopliftin. Crime doesn't pay, apart from maybe this quality funeral monument.

: Ridicule, in motion. The Kid's facial animation is something.

: Trivia for today: Ivan Daniilovich Kalita was a XIV century duke of Moscow, who through good relations with the Golden Horde (i.e. they didn't kill him) amassed respectable wealth. He used the money to straight up buy lands from the neighbours, or lent enough dosh to them so that their debts could serve as an excuse to take the land by force. The guy was a solid Crusader Kings 2 player. Oh, and Kalita was his nickname, meaning a money purse.

SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 10:10 on Jan 16, 2015

Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
I love the giant variety of stats. I hope some of them are just there completely for show, which is much more interesting.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011

Gotta admit, I'm digging the item descriptions.

Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.

SelenicMartian posted:

: A video of Jeannine laughing an making speech-like noises.

This is worth watching.

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Tooth 4. Another Schnitzel, or Goddamn Chicken-poo poo.

Edgar's stats

Naiveté 9
Reputation 1

Barter 3
Bitterness 1
Deduction 2
Examination 4
Music 1
Observation 3
Persuasion 4
Searching 2
Spying 2
Taxidermy 1

: After the humiliation at the graveyard Edgar crawls back to the agency.

: That'll do for today. Go wait for me in the bar right on the corner, we'll get to know each other better.

: The bar meets us with ship paintings and a repeating rumble of waves hitting the shore... Edgar tries to shake it off by examining the piano.

: I wonder if there are shows here. I'd like to hear that jazz music everyone's talking about. It would be a change from my mother's Caruso records.

: Actually, the only other thing worth investigating, apart from the barman, is the sign on the bar in front of him.

Poster > Observation [3]

: There's a holy image crossed out on this sign. There's some text right below... 'Dear clients, please note that we do not offer credit, the Byzantine icons will not be accepted as payment, and that American dollars will only be accepted as a last resort.' Byzantine icons?!

: We definitely have some questions for the barman.

Barman > Talk

: What a chatty fellow. Let's start with something easy, the Small talk.

: Hello...

: That's quite an accent you've got there. Scottish?

: What do you suggest?

: If you've got time, and a good liver, I suggest the 'Captain package'. It's a long beer journey ending in Belgium. But first, you have to visit Montreal, Ireland, England, Denmark and Germany.

: Looks pretty good, but wouldn't you have a 'ship's boy package'?

: And one warm local brew for the little guy!

Talk > Sign

: Tell me Mister, is this sign some kind of a joke?

: Do I look like I'm joking? There are many things I'd accept as payment. ...golden teeth, watches, animals if we must! But I don't know much about antiques, so when the two morons offered me a Byzantine icon I threw them out!

: Two morons?

: Yes, twins. And I don't think their combined intelligence reaches the level of a squirrel.

: Could you describe them?

: Two bloated Italians filled with polenta. They wear a horrible little mustache, just like that jerk I met in Berlin... ...Bitter? Zitter? Middler? A real rear end. Anyway: two Italians, fat and wearing a mustache. They come here pretty often.

: Thank you.

: This unexpected lead is better than anything provided by Kid Butterfly.

Talk > Piano

: Do you ever have shows in here?

: Oh yes! I hired this genius who just arrived from Louisiana. Too bad he's rarely available.

: He plays a lot around town?

: No, he's in a black rights defense thing.

: You mean he's a black man? That's interesting. I've never seen one. So what does this group do? Demonstrations?

: Considering the police repression, jail time is essentially what they do.

: Oh, I see...

: Ah, the glorious twenties.

Talk > Sea

: It might sound crazy but I have the distinct impression I'm hearing sea waves!

: That's a record. Sometimes I get depressed not living on the sea anymore. It's a kind of therapy.

: I see.

: A video record of the barman's accent.

: Right, it's time to ask for some juicy gossip about our boss before he comes.

Talk > Gaspard

: I suppose you know my boss, Gaspard Lemaotre?

: Of course I know him! That's what I'd call a good customer, very distinguished! He often set sails on the 'Captain package' And then he starts saying strange things.

: What kind of things?

: He speaks of his ancient life, but you know, he's not really easy to follow, considering he's totally nuts. What I can say is, a guy of this stature... don't see that every day.

: Could you be more specific?

: Just ask him! It's not like I'm taking notes here!

: Gah! From this angle Gaspard looks nothing like himself from the front.

: I want one of you sitting in front of me, and the other one coming up with two glassed of Bordeaux. I'll let you distribute the roles.

: Gapard's beard probably has more hairs than his scalp ever did.

: I'm not sure... It might be a bit too early. We'll have other opportunities.

: I don't understand.

: I'm not asking you to understand. I simply want to prepare you for certain possibilities. For example, if something ever happened to me... Oh well, another time maybe...

: Talking to the boss is the only option here, so Edgar is going to explore it fully.

Talk > Small talk

: How long have you been doing this work, Boss?

: A long time.

: Twenty years? More?

: I don't know. I usually repress these things with the help of alcohol.

Talk > Bar

: I've never been in an establishment like this one before. I find it rather pleasant. As for the innkeeper, he surely is interesting.

: Listen, if this guy ever tells you he had lunch with the queen of England, you can be sure he's the heir's father. His life story is bigger that a Jules Verne novel.

Talk > Jeannine

: Tell me about Miss Jeannine. How long have you been working together?

: The day I rented our office, she was already there. She asked me if I needed a secretary. I said no, because I didn't have the means to hire her. (VA: didn't have a cent) She simply said: 'Alright, simply put my desk over there, it will be perfect.' She hasn't moved since then. She's like a mother to me.

: Which means Isaac is your brother of some sorts.

: Not bad. If I had any capacity to laugh, I would.

: Hasn't Jeannine taught you to laugh yet? She's good at that.

Talk > Report

: Would you like me to read my investigation report for you?

: Tuesday, July 20th, circa 1924. Interpreting the evidence provided by the client, I pay the Roger hotel a visit. There, making use of proven psychological methods, I extract from the incorruptible clerk the lovers' geographical location. Then, fearing nothing, I climb the rusty fire stairs to their room. My camera held tight, I shoot vice in its love nest. (Gaspard's VA: "I hunt down the love nest, and with my camera I shot the vice.") How do you like it?

: Very good, James Joyce, but here's my version. 20/07/1924: Roger Hotel. Data extracted from desk moron. Climbed fire escape. Took shots of lovers in filthy room. Basta.

: Well, I have an appointment elsewhere. I've got the feeling we'll be doing good work together. See you tomorrow, Kid, and don't forget to wash behind your ears.


: Must have been food poisoning.

: What better way to start a career?

: We haven't met half of this crowd yet.

: Well, isn't it sad to lose your job only 40 years before retirement?

: No! I don't want to be unemployed! Who will protect me from Jeannine and Isaac?

: Gaspard's demise and dancing, the video.

: How about leaving your room?

Lockers > Keys

: 'A new life where papers cling together! Today, the Fire of God paper clips offer you this free sample! Cherish it, because Fire of God paper clips hold your paper better!' Exactly the kind of change I needed in my life!

: Let's see how what's left of the agency is doing.

: It's ten already!

: What?

: I only came to take my... Why did you say 'Boss'?

: I know it's ridiculous, but there ain't no mistake. Well, according to the will, you're running the show, now. In fact, the notary's here to tell you all about it.

: Jeannine's VA is going all-out here.

: But that's crazy! I don't know anything about this job!

: True. Poor Gaspard, he was probably experimenting with some new drugs when he wrote that.

: I'll go tell the notary I can't...

: WHAT?! You Goddamn chicken-poo poo! Gaspard put his trust in you and this is how you thank him? And you think that I want to go and find another job at my age? Tell me who's going to pay for Isaac's orthodontics!

: I really don't want to cause you any trouble but...

: I know somehow you could be reasonable. You're a good kid after all. Now go see the notary, he's waiting.

: Just one point after all this?

: Goddamn chicken-poo poo, the video.

: On the other hand, he specifies that the agency will go to his assistant. Considering your recently signed contract you are just that. He also left you this briefcase which he kept locked in a bank.

: Alright then, congratulations of your promotion. I'll leave you my card if you ever want to get in touch with me.

: So, here's all of Gaspard's legacy.

Briefcase > Search

: No, wait... There's a piece of paper in there.

: '- Another schnitzel? - With apple pie, bitte.' That doesn't make any sense! Unless... it might be a code!

: The real Carte Blanche starts here.

SelenicMartian fucked around with this message at 13:39 on Jan 17, 2015

Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Oh boy! Are we going to try that line on everyone in fine Sam & Max style?

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Tooth 5. Normal Womanly Activities.

Edgar's stats

Naiveté 9
Reputation 1

Barter 3
Bitterness 1
Deduction 2
Examination 4
Music 1
Observation 3
Persuasion 5
Searching 2
Spying 2
Taxidermy 1


: At least it's not asking us to find the schnibble.

This Code option will appear for almost every character in the game starting immediately.

: Here we are, he's delirious!

: No, it's just that...

: Easy, easy... Everything will be fine.

: She has a drat lot to say. This whole update is very speech-heavy.

Talk > Help

: Alright, where do I start?

: Go on with the antiquarian case, it's the only one we have for now.

: What? Did Gaspard literally have Edgar do all the work in the agency?

: By the way, if you ever need help on a case, friends of Gaspard have offered to assist you. I'll leave you their cards. You'll find Eleonore at the McGill university. She teaches something there, God knows what. Remy is a docker at the port. Alphetius can usually be found in pubs. Gaspard was most fond of all of them.

: That's quite an information dump, and its direct result is the menu barely fitting on the screen.

Talk > Remy

: What can you tell me about Remy?

: The docker? Now that's a real man. Carved from rock, not from a pudding like you. He's not only strong, but also flexible, agile and well coordinated! You should see him wrestle! I realize I haven't seen him in a long time. I'd need him to... help me move some furniture.

: You can almost hear Jeannine drool.

: Hear Jeannine drool, the video.

Talk > Alphetius

: Do you know Alphetius?

: Charming... but no good. No steady job, always drifting, playing games of chance, deceiving and seducing. He's not a good role model for you, but he can be of help. Tell him to pass by when you see him. I have... uh... papers for him to sign.

: Edgar is lucky he's not Jeannine's type.

Talk > Eleonore

: Do you know anything about Eleonore?

: I think that women like her should make you men tremble! They foreshadow a time when your male domination will be over. No more paternalism, unequal salaries and political exclusion!

: I didn't know you were a prophetess!

: Prophetess my rear end! Now go back to work and stop disturbing me.

: Not yet, we still have things to talk about.

Talk > Gaspard

: What was Gaspard working on?

: Lately he was working on a mysterious case. He didn't tell me anything about it but it distressed him. A woman can tell these things.

: Where did he keep his files?

: For this case, he kept them out of my filing system. Probably in the briefcase he left you.

: Do you think it could have something to do with his murder?

: Possible. But you know, he was such a shady individual it might have been related to some dark secret from his past.

Talk > Agency

: Apart from the investigations, what are my new responsibilities?

: Listen, Kiddo, don't you touch anything! Jeannine takes care of everything around here.. I don't want no Mister 'I went to University' touching my precious system! When money comes around, you'll get some. Now go do your work and don't shame this respected agency!

: If the wallet counter is to be believed, Edgar has a little over 1,000 money. We're good for a while.

Talk > Telesphore

: What can you tell me about Telesphore?

: Not much, except that he's a big water polo fan.

: Is he any good?

: I don't think he plays much himself. On the other hand, he used to watch all of Gaspard's matches.

Talk > Romeo

: Do you know the police detective, Romeo Dugay?

: Of course! Tall, elegant, silent... a good detective. Too bad he's a bit stiff with moral issues. He lacks flexibility in his practice. And then there's his wife... He always speaks of her but nobody's seen her!

: Does he also go 'Oh, one more thing' right when he's about to leave?

: Edgar has put together another case file.

: Apparently, it was a drive-by shooting.

: We can revisit the bar among the other locations, and in addition to that drop by at the university and at the harbor. It's schnitzel time.

: Not him... Perhaps blindly asking people about that is not productive. Let's go to the docks to see one of Gaspard's friends.

: And take the brick.

: Why not? If investigator work doesn't suit me I could still become a mason.

: Will anything happen if one stands on four corners of the brick and chants "Persona!"?

: Remy seems to be the guy.

: Or maybe not.

Remy > Talk

: Delacroix, is that it?

: Yes, Mister Brisson.

: You can call me Remy. I just can't get used to the idea of Gaspard being dead. And yet, it was bound to happen.

: And why is that?

: He told me he was onto something big, very big. Something like: save the world. It's a shame he was always so greedy on details.

: Among my mid-term plans, I'd like to find his murderers. I mean, since I'm and investigator now...

: I'll do everything I can to help you, my boy.

: Ok, start helping by talking. Talking more.

Talk > Boxes

: Can you tell me what's in these boxes?

: If it's from South America, it's coffee or peanuts. If it's from Africa, then olives or jewels. If it's from China, then it's the human resources for the railroads.

: You mean there could be people in there?

: Their houses back there aren't usually that much bigger. Plus, they've got some basic furniture in each box.

: That's totally unacceptable!

: Ah ah! A bit gullible, aren't you?

Talk > Jeannine

: What can you tell me about Jeannine?

: The least possible. She scares the hell out of me. When I think that Gaspard and she... No! That's inhuman!

: She said she needs you to help her out with something.

: I think I'll just join the army.

: A bit of Remy, the video.

Talk > Antiquary

: I'm presently investigating the robbery of a Mexican statue. Would you know anything that could help me?

: I'm not really into the arts, especially not the modern stuff.

: Actually it's more of the traditional kind, Indian, precolombian stuff.

: Indian, eh? You know what? That reminds me of something, although it's probably unrelated. A Mexican ship came here a few days ago. They had a search party looking around, it seems one of their sailors disappeared. An Indian, precisely.

: Interesting.

Talk > Small talk

: How is it being a docker?

: Let's just say I never really dreamed of becoming one, but you get used to it. It keeps you in shape too.

: How about the salary?

: Not great, but it's getting better since we joined the international unions. And not only for the wages, we got some good fights with cops and scabs too.

: And on this deep thought we leave the docks. Who wants some schnitzel?

: Er... Sorry, wrong number.

: Make up your mind!

: That didn't go well. Who else is there...

: One of my mom's clients who's from Germany keeps bringing me these. To tell you the truth, they pretty much disgust me.

: The Kid has one more use.

: I just passed by from my daily newspaper.

: No problem.

Talk > Small talk

: So you're the boss now, eh?

: That's right.

: That means I'll have to raise your contribution for my services. It's more expensive for corporate clients.

: Now you can deal directly with Jeannine, my secretary.

: Edgar is learning.

: The old hag?! God have mercy! She's impossible to deal with!

: It's the agency's secret weapon.

: Off to the university!

: That voice... *yawn* Is she on tranquillizers?

: That's right.

: Congratulations on your unexpected promotion.

: Thank you.

: Gaspard would often come see me when he needed some precise scientific data. I'll be glad to help you now. It gives me a break from purely speculative theoretical problems.

: Thank you, that's appreciated.

: Apart from continuing the conversation we can check out the bookshelf.

: The greatest classics and reference books available. If Eleonore has read them all, she has to be knowledge made woman!

: Ok, knowledge, let's chat.

: Um...

: (VA: Another Klingon(?)... ooh, sorry... schnitzel?)

: No, of course... Please forget what I just said.

: We won't forget, but for now we talk.

Talk > Mayan sculpture

: If I say 'Mayan sculpture', what do you reply?

: I'd rather have the schnitzel.

: I say the current fad of pillaging antique treasures in third world countries must cease! Everybody wants his own hieroglyphics, Greek Hermes, or oriental Buddha. They deprive these countries of their cultural inheritance and of capital research material! Why do you ask?

: Just curious.

: Did the term "third world countries" even exist in the '20s?

Talk > Gaspard

: How have you met Gaspard?

: It was a long time ago, we were both very young. Let's just say that he courted me for a while but I had other plans than raising a family. Gaspard, may he rest in peace, was a charming man, in his own way, but I don't think he was built for family life either.

: Did he tell you about his current case? Something big?

: Gaspard took care of small-time cases only to keep the agency in business. He kept me informed of the small investigations. But I think he wished to protect his friends by keeping them out of the serious stuff. It's only a hunch, but I think the secrets were becoming quite heavy lately.

Talk > Small talk

: You're the first female professor I've met.

: So what?

: Don't you miss normal womanly activities?

: Could you ever miss washing clothes and changing diapers?

: No, but I thought that...

: Then think harder.

: Eleoneore will put you to sleep with her video.

: We've milked Eleonore dry. It's time to hit the bar.

: Last time I ate one, I ended up with Bismarck on my back. He tried to choke me with his monocle. Happily, I managed to escape. I simply stole an experimental submarine prototype. And that's when I met that Danish princess... But that's another kind of story.

: Anyway, the bar.

: There's that Alphetius guy on the left, and the suspicious twins.

Twins > Observation [3]

: That's strange... I don't remember having ever seen these guys, and yet they somehow ring a bell.

: Before approaching them, let's siphon some info out of the barman.

Talk > Kid Butterfly

: Do you know Kid Butterfly?

: The street kid? Yeah, life isn't easy for him. Still, he gets by pretty well. He doesn't steal, but he manages to swindle impressive amounts from clients. Once he told me the Guinness representatives were in town. He got three dollars out of me to attract them to my bar!

Barman > Spying [2]

: Ah! When the barman forgot about me, I discovered his dark secret! He shines the bar by spitting on it!

: Lovely, Edgar. Now for some useful info.

Talk > Twins

: Say, these two guys there... Wouldn't they be the ones who tried to pay you with a religious icon?

: No doubt about it.

Right, then. We're engaging the twins.

: I just wanted to...

: You've got polenta in your ears or what?

: We can use our porn on the pair.

Twins > Photos

: That's it! I know where I've seen them! One of them was with my client's wife in the Roger Hotel!

: That's great, but we need to figure out a proper approach to them. Let's ask Alphetius.

: That's Alphetius, a friend of Gaspard. I met him at the funeral.

: No, I was only asking: another schnitzel?

: Ok, just give me one.

: Er... a what?

: A schnitzel! Jesus! What are we talking about here?

: What's a schnitzel exactly?

: This discussion is unbearable.

: I swear, this update alone has me typing "schnitzel" more times that I had to previously in my entire life.

Alphetius > Talk

: Tell me boy, how are you managing?

: Not too bad, but it's a bit of a shock!

: I'm sure Gaspard began your training, but he certainly didn't have time to show you everything.

: That's true. Too bad, because he was an excellent teacher.

: Did he show you the basics of corruption? Very useful in that business of yours.

: No, we haven't covered that.

: Very simple. You have to find your victim's weak spot. For example, what would you give an accountant to make him cooperate?

: Well, we do have a camel handy...

: How about a stuffed camel?

: I don't think that could please anyone.

: You'd be surprised!

: I'm beginning to wonder what Gaspard was thinking...

: An abacus for the accountant, then.

: A luxury abacus would surely do the trick.

: No! Do you think an accountant wants to be reminded he's adding numbers all the time?

: Tickets, that's the ticket!

: Perhaps tickets for a burlesque show?

: Yes! Very good! Accountants live in a very formal world of numbers... They secretly long for chaos. They actually need it to really have fun. The burlesque ticket will provide him just that. Give it to him and you'll get what you want from him.

: Learning not to bribe people with stuffed camels, the video.

: Before we can corrupt the fat womanising thieving twins, we need an item. An item the barman can provide. That's what the Wallet and Barter options are for. Edgar will haggle.

: The wine you served us yesterday was really flavoursome...

: I certainly hope so! A Pesquera special reserve! I'll give you a bottle for five dollars.

: Too bad it's so expensive... It would have reminded me of my dear boss who now rests in peace.

: Loyalty is such a beautiful thing. Here, I'll give you this one, cheaper but no so bad, in memory of my old friend.

: Not so bad?

Twins > Wine bottle

: You couldn't be more right.

: Oh yeah, the wine, we know it a lot.

: Then let me offer you this splendid bottle of wine.

: Mario! It's our lucky day!

: If one is Mario, the other one must be...

Twins > Talk

: Let me introduce myself, Edgar Delacroix, at your service.

: We are the Strozzi brothers. This chap here is Luigi.

: And he's Mario.

: And we're not an your service.

Talk > Difference

: Even for two brothers, you two are very similar.

: Yes, we are twins.

: Identical twins!

: Is that so? You are totally, absolutely, unrepentantly alike?

: There is a little difference.

: But only our mother can tell.

: I have a birthmark on my buttock which looks like Texas.

: I have one also, but it looks more like Idaho.

: Pretty amusing.

: Please, tell me we won't have to use that to tell them apart later...

: The Italian accent, on video.

: Anyway, this episode's "Another schnitzel?" compilation.

Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.

SelenicMartian posted:

: Did the term "third world countries" even exist in the '20s?

Nope. It dates from the cold war.

No Gravitas
Jun 12, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
You are making me hungry.

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011
Another Schnitzel?

Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
I'm surprised we didn't lose any naivete when Alphatius taught us the ways of the world.

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Glazius posted:

I'm surprised we didn't lose any naivete when Alphatius taught us the ways of the world.
Edgar requires... a slightly stronger stimulus to lose more of it.

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Tooth 6. Fire of God.

Edgar's stats

Naiveté 9
Reputation 1

Barter 4
Bitterness 1
Corruption 2
Deduction 2
Examination 4
Music 1
Observation 4
Persuasion 5
Searching 2
Spying 3
Taxidermy 1

: Last time we located our prime suspects in a break-in case: Mario and Luigi.

: Let's get to know them better than just at the buttock birthmark level.

Twins > Talk > Women

: must have a lot of success with women! (VA: "SUCKses with woman")

: Hell yeah! In fact, these days I'm seeing another man's girl.

: What about you Luigi?

: Me too! I mean, I also have a gal.

: For real? That's news

: Well, err... You know, it's... It's not totally sure yet.

Talk > Stolen icon

: I hear you wanted to pay with Byzantine icons? That's... quite rare!

: Eh! It's Luigi, that imbecile! I told you it was for Mama!

: But I didn't have no money no more!

: What did you do with your share?

: Nothing... Nothing special.

: Well, it's nice having fun between friends, but me and my gal have a rendezvous and I don't want to be late. Then I'll go have a small nap.

And they're both gone, but...

: You recognize me? I'm Alphetius, a friend of Gaspard. Correct me if I'm wrong but I think you're suspecting these guys of something.

: Yes, we remember you. I'm pretty sure we had to talk to you before we could talk to the two idiots.

: I guess it's time I show you the basics of tailing. Although these two... a mammoth could tail them without them noticing.

: And we watch a little more of this cutscene...

: There were are.

: Easy as can be. I suppose this is the two morons' den. I, personally, am not going in there. I don't want to take the chance of meeting their mother. And my whisky is waiting for me at the bar...

: And that was another stat we'll never use or improve ever again.

: The only thing of interest here is the door.

> Open

: The door is locked.

> Knock

: No answer.

: Remember that thing we got in the mail?

: Hmmm... Picking a lock with a paper clip... I guess that could work! Especially considering this is a Fire of God paper clip.

: So that's the fire of God! In any case, it works! Too bad the paper clip was consumed in the process.

: We've wasted the fire of God to get... here?

: The room on the right reveals...

: It's just like Ali Baba's cavern. I wouldn't know my big toe from a frying pan in here. If there's anything important in there, I'll never find it... at least not without divine intervention.

: How's this for a divine intervention?

: Now that's a good idea: to cleanse with fire! The local hygiene committee will probably award me a medal.

: There is no Arson skill in the game, sadly.

: Much better...

> Searching [2]

: What am I seeing? An intact Byzantine icon amongst the ashes! One thing or the other... Either God exists and he takes care of religious artifacts, or Telesphore treats his cheap imitations to make them fire-resistant.

: After burning down the living room, Edgar takes a peek into the kitchen.

> Searching [2]

: They seems to have a taste for herring, there's a whole school of them here. I suppose they wouldn't mind if I take one. Who knows, I might have to bribe some swedish guy.

: Not unless your fish is explosive and rocket-propelled.

: Anyway, this kitchen is an infinite source of herring. That's important. Now let's go into the room on the left.

: My eyes! Look at the pictures, the pictures!

> Observation [4]

: On the side of Mario's bed, there's a picture of the woman from the hotel. On the side of Luigi's bed, there's the picture of a stern old woman looking a lot like the Strozzi brothers themselves. The matriarch, I presume.

: We can't ignore the source of the loud snoring any longer.

: That's... quite a selection.

> Wake up

: Wake up, Fatty! Useless...

: Edgar kicks only once, but gifs fix that.

> Spying [3]

: ...maybe I'm taking this detective job a bit too seriously.

> Observation [5]

: How elegant! Hmmm... I can see his distinguishing birthmark from here. If my memory is correct: Mario's looks like Idaho and Luigi's like Texas... It's a shame my knowledge of American geography is so limited.

> Photos

: No doubt about it, this is the man I saw at the Roger Hotel. The birthmark is exactly the same.

> Magnifying glass

: If there's one single thing on Earth I don't want to see this close, it's certainly that moron in his birthday suit!

: Before we can efficiently question the sleeping giant, Edgar needs some scientific help with the US of A.

: Well, why not?

: What can you tell me about this herring?

: Only that it really doesn't belong in my office.

Talk > Texas

: Do you happen to know what Texas looks like?

: I'm not really specialized in geography, but I do.

: Could you draw it for me? (VA *quietly*: Please?)

: I have something better for you. The American scientific community keeps harassing me so that I join them... Each year they send me a map of the United States to entice me. I can give you one if you want.

: That would be great, thanks!

: By the way...

: Stop it! I may be poor, but I'm not a seal!

: Let's see... This birthmark clearly has the shape of Texas. Consequently, this individual is without a doubt Luigi Strozzi!

> Herring

: Why not serve him breakfast in bed?

: What are you doing here?

: Oh.

: Ewwww...

: Actually, I'm not really sure myself.

Talk > Small talk

: So, keeping the shape?

: Yes, I'm on a strict herring diet.

: Herring & schnitzel, the video.

Talk > Examination [4]

: It's Byzantine, probably, but let's ask.

: Now you'll be a good boy and tell me where you found the Byzantine icon.

: Well... er... we found it.

: Really? Where?

: In some back alley.

: You're lying! Admit it: you stole the icon!

: No! We'd never do anything like that!

> Persuasion [5]

: Sounds like a plan.

: Now let's get down to business! Spit it or I'll tell Mario everything about you and his girl.

: Huh? How... I... That's a complete misunderstanding, I am Mario!

: Ah! You'll have to do better than that! By shamelessly sleeping naked, you've exposed your trademark: a birthmark resembling the state of Texas!

: drat! You're too strong! Please don't tell anything to my brother, he's kill me!

: Now, if you don't get the map, the only argument Edgar has is that this guy is sleeping in Luigi's bed, which is easily countered by a claim that this bed is better, or something like that.

: It will stay between us if you kindly answer my questions.

: Yes Sir!

: Excellent job, Edgar.

> Examination [4]

: First of all, the Byzantine icon, you stole it, right?

: It's true, we wanted to give it to our mother. She really enjoys the religious stuff. Too bad we lost it somewhere.

: You stole it from the antique shop?

: Yes, right.

: What did you do with the Mexican statue?

: Oh, this one wasn't for us. It was just a contract for some rich collector.

: His name?

: He didn't tell us. But I can give you his address. He lives in Westmount. I don't care because he said he'd never do business with us again.

: Excellent, thank you. And don't worry about Mario, I won't tell him anything.

: Before I leave, I grab another herring. You lose it every time you wake up Luigi.

: There's the new location on the map, but we don't go there yet. We haven't had a chance to chat with Alphetius yet.

: Are you okay?

: Papers to sign... That's exactly what she said the last time! My God! It brings back horrible memories!

: Can you be more specific?

: Words cannot express it!

: Remember that dead icon lover?

: Spirit of Ivan Shopliftin, I summon you with this icon!

: Bringing a nice icon to the good old Ivan? Oh but... What is this cheap old rotten imitation?! Would you believe I interrupted a chess game with Louis the XIVth to come see that?

: Dead Ivan, the video.

: He leaves, and so should we. Let's see the guy who wanted the statue stolen.

: The police are more efficient that people think! How have you discovered the antique shop robbery's sponsor?

: What?!

: Yes, that's where the guy who paid the Strozzi brothers to steal the statue lives.

: Are you sure of that?

: Of course! But if you didn't know that, what are you doing here?

: The old mother McCullough called us to report that her son disappeared.

: Hmm... A guy organized the theft of an antique artifact and disappears! This plot is getting more and more interesting! (at last)

: It makes things more simple if you ask me. If I find McCullough, I'll be solving two cases at once!

: May I speak to the old lady?

: Let the police take care of that. In any case, the woman must be around 120 years old. You wouldn't get much out of her.

: Maybe we can get him to leave...

Talk > Small talk

: Tell me, is your wife's name Juliette?

: No, her name is Germaine and she's an alcoholic. Any other questions?

: No... Not really.

: Time for the serious skills.

> Persuasion [6]

: Let me in and I promise this case will be solved in no time.

: You think your puny persuasion competence can impress me? I've been doing this job for 20 years, I must have something like 30 in persuasion resistance!

: Romeo's mad skills, the video.

: drat, he's too strong! However, I happen to know that all we need for infiltrating this house can be obtained from Remy at the docks.

: Perhaps you could help me.

: What seems to be the problem?

: I want to get into a mansion, but the police are guarding the door.

: Don't worry about the police, they'll be gone at five.

: Excellent!

: Yes, that bit of dialogue removes Romeo from the door.

> Knock

: No answer... The old lady must be deaf as a post.

> Open

: The door is locked... If only I had a Fire of God paper clip!

: Wait...

: The porch steps are inconsistent, the door is a dead end, but we can also check out the back yard.

Cellar > Examine

: This door must lead to the cellar.

> Open

: Blast! Back to Remy!

: Problem is the door is locked.

: Have you tried the Fire of God paper clip?

: They're great, but I used my last one.

: Too bad they're so expensive.

: There's a cellar door in the back, but it's got a lock.

: That could be a good place to start. When I need something from the shed, I hit the lock with a brick. It usually works.

: Back to the mansion!

: Hmmm... Almost there! Done!

Cellar > Open

: Uh...

: Oink, Oink!

: Oh yes, good job, great imitation! Now tell me who you are and what you're doing in my neighbour's backyard. Hurry, or I'll call the police!

> Talk

: Moo! Moo!

: Will you stop taking me from a fool?

> Corruption [2]

: Okay, alright, I'm a burglar. Is there anything I could do to buy your silence?

: Hmm... My neighbor is very well equipped in golf gear. I don't think he would notice if you could get me a nice golf club. You're nobody around here if you don't play that sport.

: Ok, I'll find you one.

: Oink, oink, the video. Whose accent is worse?

: At last we can go in.

: Good, a golf club for the irritating neighbor.

: Is there anything else of interest?

: A full barrel of 20 year old Scotch whisky! I see the man is doing pretty well!

: What's behind that door on the left?

: This has to be one of the greatest source of frustration in this job.

: Agreed. Let's give that club to the nosy bastard.

: Arg!

: Did you get it?

: That's strange, he doesn't answer.

> Talk

: You're still there?

: ...

: Hmmm, no answer.

: The club respawns and we can take it again without breaking any scripts. Our true goal is the skeleton near the barrel.

> Examine

: If I may trust my basic anatomical knowledge, I would say this is... or was actually... a cat. I wonder what could have happened to him!

> Magnifying glass

: I've never seen one quite like that. I'll take it, it might be of some importance.

: drat, looks like the old lady's looking for her cat...

: I just have to add some subs for better coverage.

: AAAaaaa...

: AAAAAaaaaa...aa...aa...aa


: The VA says "schnitzel" instead of "poo poo".

: I'm getting (VA: the schnitzel) out of here!

: Heart attack, the video.

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011
Ahahaha, great game, great murder.

Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
What, only one involuntary murder? Pretty sure we racked up two.

No Gravitas
Jun 12, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
8 more to go!

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

No Gravitas posted:

8 more to go!
This was supposed to have a sequel(s) with character transfer, so Edgar's sense of wonder won't hit rock bottom by the end.

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Tooth 7. The Edgar Mobile.

Edgar's stats

Naiveté 8
Reputation 2

Barter 4
Bitterness 1
Break-in 1
Corruption 3
Deduction 2
Examination 4
Music 1
Observation 6
Persuasion 6
Searching 3
Spying 3
Tail 1
Taxidermy 1

: So, last time Edgar killed his first old lady.

: There's a corpse waiting for me!

: Then leave.

: Alright, enough emotion for today. Two corpses is a lot for a first week of work. I'm going to bed.

: That's unacceptable!

: I'm going to find that thief or my name isn't Edgar Delacroix.

: But... we did find the thieves. And what is the D-Day in 1924?

: I am not going back there. There's a corpse waiting for me!

: Then Edgar won't go back to Montreal, then to Canada, then to North America. That damned corpse...

: The adventure in the cellar provided us with valuable item. An ant. Let's do science on it.

: Really?

: Yes, I have just received a promotional copy of a book on ventriloquy. I suppose you'd be interested.

: And why would I be interested in that?

: No reason in particular, but I do want to get rid of it.

: Oh well... I guess I might as well learn some tricks!

: Now I wish there were a Bearded Lady competence. Anyway, Edgar learns one of the three endgame skills. All three can be levelled to 7, and all three can be used to solve the very final puzzle. But for now...

Eleonore > Ant

: I was wondering if you could tell me anything about this ant...

: Strange request, buy why not?

: They come from Central America. A column of them can eat an animal to its bones in a few minutes.

: That's funny, I actually found it on a cat's skeleton.

: Very funny indeed. I think this one died of an indigestion. I reminds me of something an anthropologist friend told me... It seems these ants are used by certain tribes in the context of ritual sacrifice. They coat the victim with honey and leave him on a red ant colony's territory.

: Sounds like fun.

: Doesn't it?

: A Mayan antique is stolen... An Indian sailor from Mexico deserts his ship... The man responsible for the burglary disappears... Cows are found without flesh in Saint-Leonard... The Indian kidnapped the one responsible for the disappearance of his ancestral stuff, and he wants to avenge his God by sacrificing his victim with red ants! He's currently hiding in Saint-Leonard where some ants have escaped and eaten innocent cows!

: Oh yes, right of course. It was only the excitement speaking.

: Yes, Edgar has just cracked the case. That's exactly what is happening. Only why is that Mexican so mad about the fake statue? Let's look into it.

: From D-Day to Edgar Mobile, the video.

: A new, off-map location now available, but I decided to stick around and pick some more skills.

: Yes, it contributed substantially to my investigation.

: There's another thing that could help you. I'll introduce you to the art of scam.

: With pleasure!

: That murder just wet Edgar's appetite.

: Your aim will be to fool someone to obtain what you want. The idea is to make up a story your victim is likely to believe, and that will lead him to do what you want by his own will. Let's try a practical exercise. Imagine a businessman walking with his pretty daughter. You'd like to be alone with the girl, what would you tell him to make him go away?

: Well...

: Ok, here it goes... I'm the doctor's assistant and he's asked me to examine your daughter immediately!

: Creative, but not very credible.

: Right...

: What about... The guy over there just told me your wig looks like a poodle!

: Not so bad... But even if he does take the bait, he won't be gone very long.

: That leaves the obvious.

: Ok, so I walk close to him and say... Don't tell anyone, but I've heard the stock market is going to crash any minute now!

: Good! You managed to pinpoint something more important for him than his daughter! I see that you get the picture. Practice well and you'll be able to scam the pope himself.

: Unfortunately, scamming the Pope didn't make it into the game. But Scam is the second endgame skill.

: It's progressing, but also becoming more complicated.

: You want to learn some wrestling tricks? I'm pretty good in that area. That knowledge proved pretty useful for Gaspard in a few occasions..

: Of course, why not?

: I'll show you the Alaskan seal move. When executed properly, the victim will suffer a short period of amnesia. Very useful. Come here and I'll show you.

: Wait, will Edgar remember what you show him?

: Remy's face is just pure :smug:

: Eh eh! It's working! Don't worry, your memory will come back in 15 minutes.

: And that's the final endgame skill and maybe even the last skill of Carte Blanche. So, whatever awaits Edgar at the end can be solved though ventriloquy, wrestling or scam. I wish most RPGs had that.

: It's time!

: Just kidding. Most of our old acquaintances are now training dummies for the new skills. You have to go through them in a certain order to level, or see a lot of failure. I don't remember the order.

Telesphore > Ventriloquy [1]

: Fear my revenge!

: Very much so, thank you.

: This guy is a bit ventriloquy-resistant.

> Scam [1]

: Did you know I found your sculpture?

: When? Oh, wait... scam.

: Yes, thank you very much.

: It will be brought back to you, but you have to pay the transport upfront. That's $50 to be paid to me immediately.

: drat. Scam-resistant, too.

> Wrestling [1]

: Hey! An antique shop! I love antique shops! But these items are obvious forgeries!

: I know, you can't trust anyone these days.

: Bugger. Now I won't see the skill failure for whomever Edgar is supposed to wrestle at level 2.

: Hey, you can scam kids too. This game is the best.

> Scam [1]

: Eh, Kid Butterfly, you think I'm a phony detective and yet I have found your father!

: Err... No... It's not that... Well...

: And do you think it's right to give false hope to an illegitimate boy?

: No, it's just that... You see, the scam competence, and stuff...

: Yeah, well, you should go hide from shame.

: We'll be back with more Scam competence, Kid. Just you wait.

> Ventriloquy [1]

: Why are you saying that? Are you trying to imitate me?

: Didn't you get the slightest impression your newspaper was talking?

: No.

> Wrestling [2]

: Come here, I want to show you something.

: You'll need more that that if you want to intimidate me...

: Romeo is our practice dummy inside the station, but we can also show him the ant.

: I think this ant is very important evidence.

: Yes, evidence of your disdain for sanitation.

: Oh? Skill time.

> Ventriloquy [1]

: You're absurd, Mr. Delacroix.

: The cop said that, not me!

: Of course, and my mother is an urchin.

> Wrestling [2]

: Let me show you something...

: Is that all?

: Can you remember what your name is?

: Please Mr. Delacroix, I have work to do.

: Hmmm... where to next?

> Wrestling [2]

: Exactly.

> Scam [1]

: Are you aware that the police are after you? You and your brother should get some disguises so they can't find you.

: We're not afraid of the police.

> Ventriloquy [1]

: That's the subtitle. However, the VA says "Pika! Pika!"

: It sure did!

: I grab a herring again and leave.

: Skill practice, volume 1, the video.

: That's enough fooling around for now. Prepare to meet the Mexican sailor.

: ...the usual church and the priest caring for the souls of his parishioners, simple and virtuous workers of the soil. It looks like something is going on.

: Yeah! You're not satisfied with poisoning our wells, you need to torture our cows? Death to the Jew! Death to the sodomite! Death to the albino! Death to the artist! He's an artist? Of course, they're all the same!

: No Mexicans in sight.

Group > Examine

: A gang of inbred farmers is picking on someone.

Priest > Examine

: The village priest is relaxing on a bench.

: I'm ok, I was just thinking out loud.

: He speaks the tongue of the devil!

: Sorry, I have to go, I have a... er... cow on the stove.

: That's something you don't see every day.

> Music [1]

: Hey, everybody, I have an idea, are you ready? And a one... a two... a one, two, three four...

: Good job!

: Edgar posing as a street schnitzel dealer, and some vocal practice, the video.

: Very good. Now let's try to be more productive instead of training useless optional skills...

> Talk > Mexican

: Hey guys, have you seen a Mexican around here?

: A stranger here? If we could have found one, we'd have lynched him! But since we haven't, we have to settle for this guy here. Huh Mordecai?

: Yeah!

: If you can get me out of this, I could help you find him.

: And thus the next item on Edgar's agenda is helping a communist sodomite albino Jew (and an artist!) out of a tricky situation.

May 20, 2010
This is... Bizairre to say the least, and yet strangely endearing.

So, was that easily bribed neighbor just knocked out by the golf club, or do we have an extra addition to the 'accidental murder' tally?

Also, how close to the end are we? One chapter? Or two?

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

The neighbour's mystery will be solved. I think... We'll have to talk to Romeo about the case again.

Going by the footage use so far the end is three updates away. The end credits are long.

Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
For some reason I really like that the inventory items are making jokes about the competence system.

Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.

I just hope that we'll get some clue as to what sort of cues they gave Jeannine's voice actress.

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Tooth 8. Double Ration.

Edgar's stats

Naiveté 8
Reputation 2

Barter 4
Bitterness 1
Break-in 1
Corruption 3
Deduction 3
Examination 4
Music 2
Observation 6
Persuasion 6
Scam 1
Searching 3
Spying 3
Tail 1
Taxidermy 1
Ventriloquy 2
Wrestling 2

: There was a question in the thread about the fate of neighbour hit with the golf club. I checked the footage and couldn't find the tiny bit of dialogue that mentioned him. Then it turned out you get that by talking to Romeo before Edgar figures out the plot. First, let's see what happens when Edgar tries to leave without bribing the neighbour.

: Are you trying to leave without sharing?

: [Bloody tosser!] (VA: Bloody Klingon(?))

: Gah, what is this word he's saying???

: Toss the club, have a dream, D-Day. Romeo has a whole bunch of missable dialogue at this point.

> Talk > McCullough

: Have you found M. McCullough?

: No, and that case is becoming even more complicated.

: How is that?

: We found his old mother dead in the basement. She had a heart attack. We think she might have surprised a burglar.

: Any suspects?

: Probably the neighbor. We found him with a golf club belonging to Mr. McCullough.

: The... gulp... neighbor? Did he say anything?

: No, he doesn't remember anything. That guy is so clumsy he knocked himself down trying to play golf. Simply ridiculous.

: Ah ah! Yes, very much so.

: How club tossing leads to extremely nervous laughter, the video.

> Talk > Mayan sculpture

: Have you found the Mayan sculpture in Mr. McCullough's house?

: Yes, it was lying around in the garage. It will soon be brought back to its owner. We told Telesphore it was found with your help. So you shouldn't worry about your salary.

: That's very nice of you.

> Talk > Strozzi

: What do you make of the Strozzi brothers?

: Hopeless case. We stopped pursuing them, because each time they're arrested the court releases them for mental incapacity. Their mother isn't so bad either. I hope you meet her sometime.

: Speaking of the Strozzi brothers (I'll get the new newspaper later).

: What do you know about the Strozzi brothers?

: According to the legend, each time Mario sees a mirror he goes: 'hello Luigi'. And vice-versa.

: Anyway, back to the farmers trying to find the final solution.

> Talk > Problem

: It's that communist jew, he's stealing the meat right off our cows! What are we supposed to do with meatless cows that don't even give milk!

: Yeah!

: Hey! It's true that I'm a communist, and a jew, and albino also... But I would never touch a cow, I'm a vegetarian!

: You're only making it worse.

: See, we told you he wasn't clean, he's a man-witch!

: Vegetarian means he doesn't eat meat. So what would be the motive for the crime then?

: Listen, Mister 'I'm clean and I come from the city'... We are simple people... When we have a problem, we find somebody that is too much on the weird side and lynch him. End of story.

: Yeah!

: I see...

: The moment Edgar has been waiting for...

: Come on guys, be reasonable and let him go. I know that somewhere within you, you know he doesn't have anything to do with this.

: But he can read our minds!

: Death to the man-witch!

: Consider yourself lucky we already have the man witch, it could have been you!

: You!

: You!

: Believe me, it's a waste of time and effort. They don't really think like you and me.

: You!, the video. I'm pretty sure the voices outnumber the farmers at least 3 to 1.

: Maybe the priest will help us with freeing the communist...

> Talk

: Hello, son.

: Just chilling out?

: Contemplating...

: My name's Edgar, I'm from Montreal.

: My name's Lionel, and I'm busy.

> Talk > Small talk

: So... How is the... farming and stuff?

: Do yourself a favor and go back to the prostitutes, gamblers and drunkards. You'll be more in your element.

: But I'm not...

: Tssst! He may lie boldly who comes from afar!

> Talk > Mexican

: I'm looking for a Mexican indian in the area.

: A Mexican?! Here!? Really, I wonder what kind of air you're breathing in the big cities...

: I understand you haven't seen him.

: We still need to free the communist.

> Talk > Communist

: Father, the communist is innocent. You should do something, they'll listen to you.

: Why should I? If he was only Jewish, perhaps, there's a spiritual relationship. But as a communist, he's devoted to materialism. Why would God help someone that considers Him the opium of the people.

: But God is almighty, what does He care if one believes in Him or not? He cares for everyone!

: Harsh.

Clearly, the best way to deal with a priest.

: Do you think you and me could work something out for the communist?

: Well, the church needs all the contributions it can get, my boy. Just show be the goods and we'll see what we can do!

: Why, yes, Bernard is going to give away the stolen Telesphore's priceless fireproof fake Byzantine icon.

: It's only a hunch, but I'm sure an authentic Byzantine icon would add a nice little touch to this small country church.

: A Byzantine icon? Oh! Father Thibodeault of the neighbour parish would just die of jealousy! Are you serious?

: Very much so!

: The Lord just told me the communist must be left alone! He said the cows were being punished for provoking counter-nature desires in some of you.

: Edgar...

: A double gain? Awesome!

: Buying the voice of God, the video.

: The communist is our fifth training dummy. And a lot of other things.

: Yea, yes... of course...

> Ant

: Look! It's a communist ant!

: All ants are communist! They deny their individuality for the common good! One day, humanity will recognize in them a model to follow.

> Wrestling [2]

: One frame really caught my eye...

: We've returned to the pre-industrial world!

> Scam [1]

: Hey! I'm coming from the city and the revolution just took place! Class struggle is finally over!

: You think I'm a fool? I would have noticed... According to the scriptures, when the revolution will take place...

: This is the most :ussr: thing.

: I'm no specialist, but I think you're mixing things up here.

: Man of little faith!

> Ventriloquy [2]

: Not bad, your little ventriloquy trick. But it sounded more like my hat speaking.

: Practice makes perfect!

: At last let's just talk.

: I haven't done anything, it's God you have to thank.

: Very funny.

: Mocking a communist, the video.

> Talk > Small talk

: What's a communist doing in this remote location? Apart from playing the scapegoat of course. I mean, isn't the revolution supposed to take place in industrial centers?

: The police told me to stay out of town, so I just drift here and there. But I'm not completely idle, I've organized the village idiot soviet.

> Talk > Mexican

: Alright, let's get down to business... Do you know where I can find the Mexican I'm looking for?

: Yes, he arrived at the beginning of the week. He told me he needed a hideout to organize the Mexican revolution.

: And you believed him?

: Not really, but marginal people have to help each other. I led him to an abandoned warehouse not far from here. I'll tell you how to get there.

: Thank you.

: Hey, is that Hitler?

: God bless you! You came to save me!

: Well, that's almost it! In fact, I was hired to find a stolen Mayan sculpture. I followed the lead right to you.

: Alright! I admit! It's me! I did it! Now get me out of here!

: Not so fast. We can examine the crate on the right, and the basin and the door on the left.

Crate > Examine

: A wooden box with an ant symbol on it... I hope this one stays shut.

Basin > Examine

: A basin of putrid water.

: Yes, please!

: If that herring was alive, and if he could asexually reproduce, and if this water wasn't so disgusting, and if I wasn't in the middle of some very important case, maybe I could have started a fish farm business.

Door > Open

: I hear noises behind that door. I wouldn't want the kidnapper to know I'm here..

: Arlight, McCullough. Brace yourself.

: I'm not the one being led to sacrifice. I can lose my mind if I want to!

: Uh... Excellent thinking, Edgar.

> Examine

: Hard to believe this human wreck is actually an elite citizen! And an antiques smuggler too!

: No mind-reading reply? Absurdus is getting lazy. Let's ask him some questions.

: Small talk seems fitting given the looming ant threat.

: You know, Mister McCullough, death is somehow a part of life. The death of an elderly person isn't such a sad event. One could see it as a sort of transition...

: Good lord! Are you telling my I'm going to die?!

: You? No! Well, it's possible of course, but that's not what I was talking about. I was only sharing my thoughts on certain realities of life, just like that.

: Edgar saying strange things at a tied-up man, the video.

> Talk > Telesphore

: How do you know Telesphore Doucet?

: As a collector, I know all Montreal's antiquarians. Good, bad ones and ugly ones. He tried to sell me the Mayan sculpture in advance, and that's how I learned about it. I told him I was no fool.

: And what did he say?

: Nothing really, he just left while whistling the Traviata.

> Talk > Mayan sculpture

: There are some things I don't understand in this robbery case.

: Do we really have to talk about this now?

: First of all: did you know the sculpture was fake?

: Of course! I'm a pro in these things!

: Then why did you rob it?

: I'm not interested in the statue itself. I knew Telesphore was planning to import that reproduction. I asked one of my agents there to insert an object of real value inside it. Mayan prince Atahualpa's dentures.

: This way you took no risk with the customs!

: Exactly!

: What's so special about false teeth?

: Correct me if I'm wrong... you are help prisoner by an Indian who wishes to recover his ancestral inheritance?

: That is correct.

: Well then, why not give him back the dentures?

: There is a small problem with the procedure of retrieving the artefact...

: Why? Where is it now?

: In my dear old mother's mouth.

: Oh... I see... And why did you not tell him?

: You see, my mother is a bit old fashioned, Victorian style. If the Indian ever came to her she'd probably just send him to wash the car or cut the hedges. I fear he'd be insulted and could decide to retrieve the teeth forcefully.

: I see...

: You've come to free the vile desecrator?

: No, I mean, well...

: You are lucky, little ones! Double ration today!

: Who are you talking to?

: To my beloved ants, of course!

: The crate has the same description as the crate in the room. What about the man himself?

: Nice mask. I wonder if he bought it from Telesphore.

: We haven't trained our skills for nothing.

> Barter [4]

: Certainly two men of good will like us can find an agreement! The police are guarding the place where Atahualpa's holy teeth are stored. They won't let you in, but I could! Killing me will get you nowhere!

: Oh! The teeth, that's right! I was so focused on the revenge procedures, I had forgotten about them. Yes, sure, bring me the teeth and I'll let you live.

: You could also spare McCullough, I think he's learned his lesson.

: No can do. He went too far in the line of desecration. On the other hand, there are softer revenge alternatives in the tradition. If you wish, I could content myself with splitting his head with an obsidian axe.

: Well, I guess that's a beginning.

: By the way, if you say anything to the police, you'll end up the same way.

: Of course! That goes without saying!

: What? Why? What did Edgar observe?

: Oh, he's taken his mask off.

: I don't really know, a kind of sausage I guess.

: No thanks, I only eat starchy foods.

> Examine.

: So this is what a Mayan businessman looks like.

: Maybe this time Persuasion [6] will finally work on someone?

: Listen, swear not to kill McCullough or else I won't get the teeth.

: As you wish, but then I'll have to kill you straight away.

: But then you won't get the teeth! (VA:...Brother.)

: I'll end up finding them.

: Oh well...

: The big bad's introduction, plus a bit of small talk from a minute two later, the video. No schnitzel.

: Do you remember that porn Edgar has been carrying around?

> Photos

: I've got pictures here you'll find much more interesting than old Mayan dentures.

: Do you really think I'd betray my ideals for some cheap erotic pictures?

: Hey! You're also a man, you have needs!

: That's the worst corruption attempt in history.

: The worst corruption attempt in history (and the schnitzel), the video.

> Talk > Small talk

: I understand you are of Mayan origin, that's very interesting!

: Yes, actually my mother is of Mayan descent. My father is American. But I have a very strong Mayan identity! I've read everything there is on the subject. I've even visited the Machu Pichu.

: But isn't that an Inca site?

: You see, the problem with you white people is that you're always trying to divide us to rule!

: That might be true in general, but in this case, I think the distinction preceded Christopher Columbus.

: Alright, I was raised in California so I don't know everything about Peru!

> Talk > Small talk

: Why come as a sailor hired on a cargo? Did you need money for the trip?

: No, I wanted to stay incognito. I wanted to separate my spiritual activities from my daily business.

: What kind of business are you into?

: I own a pharmaceutical company. I'm trying to introduce a new drug medicine in America. It's extracted from a local plant called marijuana. It works miracles and I can see a great potential for it in the future.

: Send me a sample if you can.

: Of course.

> Talk > Small talk

: Thanks.

: But don't you think it stands out a bit with your suit?

: You're right. But the traditional clothes are a bit light for the temperature here.

: And that wraps it up for the warehouse chat. Next time well be looking for some teeth to satisfy a Californian pot dealer. The title of the game finally became relevant.

Sep 3, 2011

watch with knife hands
Oh boy, this game! I unironically love both this and Eye of the Kraken.

I hope the third game comes out eventually, but it seems unlikely.

Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
...well, who the hell is going to respond to the schnitzel line? Or is what you have there, sir, a herring of a different shade?

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011
This game is really clever. And the horrible 3d monstrosities make me feel awfully nostalgic.

Now, if only the voice actors didn't sound like they were forced at gunpoint to do the worst performance possible...

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Tooth 9. Macabre Deeds.

Edgar's stats

Naiveté 7
Reputation 2

Barter 5 (yes, the Observation gain message was a bug)
Bitterness 1
Break-in 1
Corruption 4
Deduction 3
Examination 4
Music 2
Observation 6
Persuasion 6
Scam 1
Searching 3
Spying 3
Tail 1
Taxidermy 1
Ventriloquy 2
Wrestling 3

: Previously...

: ...Edgar tried to bribe a murderous Mayan Mexican from California with porn featuring a fat Italian.

: Before we look for the teeth, let's see what's going on at home.

: 'The roof is on fire' must be getting to her.

: Go play elsewhere!

: That's literally what we need to do. Leave and come back.

: Treasure!

: Mrs. Malaki's crowbar. I suppose this poet really gets on her nerves.

Crowbar > Take

: I'm borrowing this crowbar from you, ok?

: Oh well, no answer means yes.

: Oh, I've also got some really old pages from the case files.

: I've been thinking... Can Telesphore tell us anything related to the current events?

Telesphore > Talk > McCullough

: Does the name McCullough ring a bell?

: Come on, we know you were whistling the Traviata.

: He came here a few times. He takes out his old fossil off a mother downtown.

: Aren't you into that, old fossils?

: Your sarcasm has no grip on me..

> Talk > Small talk

: It sells like hot cakes! In fact, I often wonder how my clients haven't noticed that they all wear the same supposedly unique ring.

: Who else is out there with new things to say?

: What?! No! Why?

: Just talking, you know. I figured things like that are bound to happen often in big cities...

: Not that much, really.

: Anyway, Romeo is the guy who knows the location of the body.

> Talk > Small talk

: Nietzsche wrote: 'God is dead', what do you think about that?

: I think I'll find the son of a gun who did that!

> Talk > Granny

: Has Mrs. McCullough been buried yet?

: She's at the morgue, why do you want to know?

: No reason, really... Where's the morgue exactly?

: I'll tell you when you tell me why you want to see the body...

: This unlocks the scam option. It's the only last-day skill actually useful before the final "boss".

: Alright, I'll tell you why I want to see the old lady's body. She was a good client of Telesphore, the antiquarian... A very good client, if you see what I mean?

: They were lovers? Isn't he homosexual?

: Huh?! Why, yes, of course! But beyond a certain age, you know, it gets hard to tell the difference.

: Edgar, :wtc:

: Ah! Good old Telesphore. I suppose he wants to pay her a last private visit?

: Exactly. But please don't tell anyone!

: Alright, I'll tell you where the morgue is.


: Thank you.

: Well, at least there hasn't been any actual necrophilia in the game... so far...

: :stonk:

: Of course it's Dr. Freeman. But Edgar is the one with the crowbar now.

: Before you scroll to the inevitable video link, make a guess what Dr. Freeman's voice sounds like. Whatever you imagine is most likely very wrong.

: Formaldehyde, flesh tenderizing products, grips, scalpels... stuffing material, a pot of candy, mustard, croutons... hmmm... makes me wonder about Dr. Freeman's methods.

: There's a corpse on the table.

: There's a body on the table. I'm not sure, but I can guess it's Mrs. McCullough.

: On the left there are those drawers where the doctor was sleeping.

> Searching [3]

: Right, let's interact with the man himself.

: He's our last training dummy and a bit of a dick at that, because we can't get Ventriloquy and Scam anywhere until we meet him.

> Examine

: He looks like he came right out of a horror movie.

: Or are you simply feeble minded?

: Guys, I'm starting to think Gaspard's last message was a practical joke.

> Wresting [3]

: What are you trying to do exactly?

: Sorry, I mistook you for my dead aunt's body.

: I like the way Edgar wrestles some characters with no advance warning whatsoever.

> Ventriloquy [2]

: Are you speaking to the corpse?

: It's only polite to answer when you're spoken to!

> Talk > Small talk

: Don't you think it's a little morbid to sleep in a drawer intended for dead bodies?

: Then what is a bed, if not a cushion for dead bodies to be?

: I guess I never looked at it this way.

> Talk > Romeo

: Do you often work with detective Romeo Duguay?

: Too often, if you ask me. He likes to give orders and always rushed me for the autopsy reports. I hate to work under pressure. I prefer to make my clients comfortable first by getting to know them before opening their rib cage. They are very prude you know?

> Talk > Granny

: I'm looking for my aunt's body, Mrs. McCullough.

: She's just there, right in front of you.

: I see. Have you performed an autopsy?

: Yes, heart attack. That's all I ever see here: heart attacks! I have colleagues in New York or Chicago that see extraordinary deaths! Some ripped, some drowned, some dipped in concrete, inspired work! But not for me! Here it's always heart attack. Just like your boring old aunt.

: I'm sorry... I guess...

: Dr. Freeman emerges, the video.

: This gives us the option to search the body, but...

: I don't want to search her mouth in front of Dr. Freeman.

: This in turn opens up the scam option, but that will make him leave, and we need to squeeze another skill point out of Dr. Freeman. I go skill grinding...

Telesphore > Ventriloquy [3]

: Fear my revenge!

: Oh my God! I knew that was bound to happen!

: Relax, old pal... You simply experienced my ventriloquy talents.

: All it took to fool the antiquarian is a slight change of voice.

: Sure!

Kid > Small talk

: I heard you might something to do with Old Mrs McCullough.

: Uh!? What?! I have no idea what you're talking about.

: Don't be ashamed. Of course, it was a weak, unarmed old lady, but you're beginning to build a reputation!

: You're nuts, I don't have any kind of reputation whatsoever. And you better not spread that stinking rumor!

: You're the boss, Boss.

Kid > Ventriloquy [4]

: Arg! The newspapers are selling themselves! What will become of me? Technology is killing the small trades!

: Ah Ah! That was only a demonstration of the holy art of ventriloquy.

: Very funny. I think they're waiting for you, back at the circus.

Kid > Wrestling [3]

: Come here, I want to show you something.

: Who am I?

: You're Oliver Twist. And by the way, I have not, in any manner, contributed to the death of an old lady.

Luigi > Wrestling [4]

: Where am I? Are you the prince charming I've been waiting for all my life?

: Err... I have to go, something's cooking in my oven...

Dr. Freeman > Wrestling [5]

: Mom, I swear I won't put dead rats in James' cradle anymore!

: I wonder what became of that poor James!

Communist > Ventriloquy [5]

: The time has come for you to wash me!

: Sorry... I can assure you I've washed it quite recently.

: That's ok, I understand.

: Now, off to get the final points of both Wrestling and Ventriloquy off the guy with 30 in Persuasion resistance.

Romeo > Ventriloquy [6]

: Sergeant! You're a shame to the police force!

: Yeah! Totally! [You got served]

Romeo > Wrestling [6]

: Let me show you something...

: Let me go or I'm calling the police!

: But you are the police!

: What? No! That's impossible! Someone wake me up!

: You should not have allocated your points into just one resistance, Romeo.

: It's time for

> Scam [2]

: I just spoke to private Duguay(VA: detective Duguay). He asked me to tell you that you're needed on a crime scene... I think it's the murder of two midget siamese brothers. Quite unusual eh?

: Where?! Where?! Lord Almighty! Will you tell me where?!

: It's... err... 150 000 Saint Lawrence street.

: I didn't know Saint-Lawrence went so far north! Oh well... I'd better get going.

: And I... also leave to grind for more Scam competence.

: On a completely unrelated note, Edgar can show the ant to the hotel clerk.

: I found this one and a few thousands of her sisters in your rug. You find that normal for a so-called respectable hotel?

: Lord almighty! If the clients found out...

: Surely we can work something out...

: Take everything! The cash register is yours but don't tell anyone!

: Pfff! I'll be damned if there's more than a dollar in this till!

: Ah! These are times of hardship.

: No skill boost here. Just some money, i.e. Edgar's wallet goes from 1 109 to 1 110.

Telesphore > Scam [3]

: Did you know I found your sculpture?

: Yes, thank you very much.

: It will be brought back but the transport has to be paid upfront. That's going to be two dollars please.

: Oh well... I guess I don't have much choice.

Luigi > Scam [4]

: You know the woman you and Mario are seeing? Her husband is extremely jealous and violent! I think it would be wise to put this bucket on your head. That way he'll never recognize you.

: You're right, it could be dangerous. I don't want to risk damaging my beautiful and seductive face.

: Here you are, that's great!

: I'll put it on each time I get out.

: It is an improvement!

Kid > Scam [5]

: I have a surprise for you! I just spoke to one of my friends, he's the principal of a jesuit college. He sais he would take you in freely for the sake of christian charity.

: What? That's great! I'll finally learn to read! It's the best thing that has ever happened to me! You have my eternal gratitude!

: drat, I didn't think that would work...

: What did you say?

: Nothing... But you have to wait until the beginning of the next school session.

: I don't care.

: Edgar is getting too good at this. No one should have this much power.

Communist > Scam [6]

: Comrade! Your exile is over! I spoke to the police and they told me you could come back.

: Really? Goodbye degenerated peasants! I'm going back downtown tomorrow!

: And that wraps up the vital skills.

: Five minutes of grind to turn Edgar into the ultimate adventuring machine, the video.

: We finally search the drawers.

: Looks like Mr. Freeman uses this drawer for food storage. Just thinking that his cold meat sandwiches are stored next to corpses... Brrr...

Corpse > Searching [3]

: I can't open it!

: And now, the moment I've been waiting for.

: Oh no... Please not that! Anything but that!

: Edgar, when I click a green option you are supposed to use the item.

: I understand the importance of saving Mr. McCullough, but still... I can't do that to an old lady, even dead!

: Edgar!

: Oh well... If there are no alternatives, let's proceed.

: Yes, there's thunder, lightning, and a crunching sound.

: I see a new option, but let's finish what we came here for.

: Atahualpa's dentures! Hmm... Not exactly what I was expecting.

Corpse > Taxidermy [1]

: I can't leave her this way. I'm not really qualified for that, and that's without mentioning it disgusts me to the utmost degree, but when one has a job to do!


: Macabre deeds, the video.

: How well did Edgar cover his tracks? Let's leave and come back.

: If you and her really didn't get along, and if you wanted to get even with her corpse, why not simply ask me? It's absolutely natural!

: I understand.

: Right. We're almost done.

: Those are Edgar's final stats. All we need to do now is to hand over the dentures. I bet you want to see them.


No Gravitas
Jun 12, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
This game is amazing. I honestly find it very funny. The writing is like I have never seen before.

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011


Holy smokes this description is mind-numbingly good.

Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Tooth 10. To Be Continued...

Edgar's final stats

Naiveté 6
Reputation 2

Barter 5
Bitterness 1
Break-in 1
Corruption 4
Deduction 3
Examination 4
Music 2
Observation 6
Persuasion 6
Scam 7
Searching 3
Spying 3
Tail 1
Taxidermy 2
Ventriloquy 7
Wrestling 7

: This is it!

: And yet another victory over the colonials!

: Now you can free McCullough just like you promised.

: That's very funny. The deal was I'd forget about the ants. Anyway, I think most of them already escaped from their boxes. Oh well, once I finish reading the new ritual from this book, written by an anthropologist from Cambridge, and I'll be ready for the human sacrifice.

: Ah, the agony of choice. Let's see all three methods of getting rid of the ultimate threat.


: In English?

: I don't really care for the white man's sacrifice. Just get me back my teeth, will you? I've been eating soup and porridge for weeks!

: Alright! Sorry guys, but I have to go!

: Have a good trip and my greetings to Atahualpa. Sacrifice him a big juicy steak on my behalf.

: In English, the video.



: Please, never make Edgar's VA say words like 'anthropologist' again. He might dislocate his jaw.

: No, I can't say I have, why?

: There's an article in on ancient central American civilizations. Amongst other things it says there actually never were human sacrifices. The conquistadors invented that to make the Indians look like savages.

: What?! These rotten imperialist dogs! That's unacceptable! I'll show the world how tender and respectuous of human rights the Mayans were! Excuse me, but I have a lot of work to do.

: No problem!

: Respectuous, the video.


: Of course, the ending that fits Edgar's new 'Naiveté 6' personality the most is the


: My collection is complete!

: Can someone tell me where I could take a train to Mexico?

: Of course. When you get out of this building. follow the street to the right. Walk until you cross the rails and then follow the tracks to the station.

: Thank you my friend.


: Here starts the proper ending, identical for all options.

: How much does your agency charge for hostage release?

: I'll leave you my card. Call my secretary and she'll send you the bill.

: Thank you, I'll gladly pay full price.

: I hope you'll have learned a lesson about cultural plundering.

: With a sleuth like you in town, I wouldn't dare!

: Then, all is well that ends well!

: We've received both Mr. McCullough's and Telesphore's payments. I'm even considering paying you this week! Oh yes, and there's someone waiting on the phone for you. It might be a client, so make an effort not to look too dumb.

: How may I help you?

: You... bastards! You made me run around town asking the stupid question, and now you throw it at me in the end! :argh:

: Oh? Can I screw this up?

: Jeannine is the one in charge of buying the office's stationary.

: Stationary what?

: Perhaps I made a mistake...

: Another what?

: Schnitzel, another schnitzel! Doesn't that ring a bell?

: Fine, Absurdus...

: With apple sauce, bitte.

: M. Delacroix, I can help you find Gaspard Lemaotre's murderers. But you'll be needing balls of steel.


: Edgar realizes that the schnitzel had a sequel hook in it.

: When? Where is my second episode or the tentacles of the apocalypse game?

: Wrestling and the finishing touches, the video.

: Look at all those people more competent than House of Tales!

: Well, you know... If there has to be a boss, why not a young inexperienced boy you can manipulate at will. Everybody knows who's the real boss around here!

: The end credits are sprinkled with characters expressing their personalities.

: At least the style is... memorable? The faces are based more on moai than on people, but it works.

: What did that look like, I wonder.

: You can't understand the rules of business! I also think he should do a little body building. It would suit him well.

: Telesphore probably doesn't remember being wrestled.

: This is starting to look like a one-man production. Don't tell me he voiced everyone.

: They did well too. Probably.

: I see, Jonathan is a man of many talents.

: Perhaps he'll teach them some notion of syntax!

: It's impressive they got so many people to act so badly together.

: He wouldn't have lasted five minutes here.

: This game has music in most locations but for some reason outside of cutscenes the tracks play only occasionally.

: My guess is, one did the recording and the other one owned the mike.

: In my book, that's very positive.

: The people 15 Days lacked so massively. I mean, Carte Blanche had oddities, but it also had proofreading.

: Oh, come on, it can't be that bad! Edgar has learned taxidermy from... looking at the stuffed shark, turkey and camel in his room... Oh dear.

: drat, they take their testing seriously in Canada.

: Nice one.

: Should I know him? You know, I see so many people here. I don't intend on spending my whole life here, you know? I'm very ambitious! What do I want? Well it's not easy to say just like that... First of all, make more money, that's for sure. Then, find a job that really suits my personality, a job in which I could use all my potential, you see? It's a good thing to stop once in a while, in this crazy 20th century. We're not machines after all!

: The most pointless side character gets the longest post-game speech. :allears:

: How about getting some more fans by making another game, huh?

: Eight years and counting. Where's the sequel?

: Of which there are none...

No, Absurdus, playing Korobeiniki (aka the Tetris song) over the curtain does not make things better.

: It does makes an edgar.sav file as promised.

: The end, the video.

: And that was Carte Blanche. An eventually morbid short adventure game without Tower of Hanoi and sliding puzzles, yet with tons of optional dialogue to explore.

Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
Okay, I have to say that scam ending was fairly brilliant.

I get what the game was trying for, and honestly the clay-faced graphics and such did help the comedy a little. As did some of the item descriptions.

Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.

That was very strange, but enjoyable. Thank you for showing it off.

inscrutable horse
May 20, 2010

Parsing sage, rotating time

Sir! Imagine, if you will, that you partook in a sensory experience quite unlike other experiences of comparable scope and composition. Would you consider it worse for engaging in non-normative storytelling? Sir, of course not! By virtue of its uniqueness, you would heap adoration and salutations upon such an experience, and bestow the greatest of gratitudes upon your guide!

Deceitful Penguin
Feb 16, 2011
Bloody Brilliant, is what I would call this. The horrible graphics of yore, combined with the elaborate works of fiction within the fiction made this a game and indeed an LP any respectable gentle man or woman would well do to partake off.

Sep 3, 2011

watch with knife hands
Anyone who enjoyed this should look at Eye of the Kraken.

Some quotes to whet your appetite:

This is my astrolabe. I use it to astrolabe. [...] I don't even know what an astrolabe is.

I love you, little palm tree.


May 20, 2010
Wow, for all it's wierd faults and faces, that was an enjoyable experience. Shame they didn't follow it up. Have they done anything else at all since this?

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