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Cricket
Blackface in crowd
References to Lord of the Rings
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a real chump
Jul 30, 2003

noice

Nap Ghost

This is the cricket thread.
Cricket basics
There are two types of cricket:
    Test cricket (Best cricket)
    Bad cricket –“Limited overs”:
    - One-Day Cricket : 50 Overs
    - DLF Big Bash KFC Big Show Maximum Connor! “T20” Cricket : 20 overs
World Cup 2015 - FEBRUARY 14 – March 29
Hosted in Australia and New Zealand, featuring exciting world powerhouses such as Zimbabwe, Bangladesh and England, the world cup is a competition that uses the One-Day format.
I could explain the format but (a) I would do it poorly, (b) the world cup won’t attract new cricket fans and (c) no one reads the OP.
You can ask questions in this thread anyway.

Here is the schedule: http://www.icc-cricket.com/cricket-world-cup/fixtures



Fantasy League Info
Sign up here: https://fantasy.icc-cricket.com/
Goon League Code: 3300

Teams
Before we go any further it’s important to mention that there are very much two tiers of teams in the world cup. Those with ICC rankings regularly play international games and the rest are from war-torn countries who still play cricket and own.

The “Big Three” – don’t support these teams unless you have to

England

Claims to have invented the sport but are no good at it, and have never won a world cup.
They were, however, very good at imperialism; creating colonies who became very good at the sport so isn’t that what really counts?
They are captained by an Irishman, and traditionally their best players have been South Africans.
Fan activity in the cricket thread: Active, sad.

Australia – 4 times winner

Very good at the format, the Aussies have won the competition a more than any other team and are on home turf.
Largely unlikeable, be sure to look out for blackface in the crowd and post in the thread when you do.
Fan activity in the cricket thread: Active, embarrassed.

India – 2 times winner
The supervillains in the cricket world. Not actually any worse than the other big three but like to be overt about it so gets the attention.
Fans gloss over their inept test team and point to the 1-day side as their primary focus, which still seems pretty poor. With a billion and change people to choose from this is no mean feat.
Fan activity in the cricket thread: None

Good teams, who could win – bandwagon when they do well

South Africa

There are universal constants you can rely on; the speed of light in a vacuum, the Planck constant and South Africa choking in the world cup.
No matter how good their team, or how late in the competition, they will throw it away in a moment that will humble and amaze.
Fan activity in the cricket thread: None, but everyone loves AB and Hashim.

New Zealand

Sharing the home team advantage, lil Australia is on the rise. Coming off various wins in all forms of the sport, they are expecting big things at this world cup.
Fan activity in the cricket thread: Active, adorable.

Sri Lanka – 1 time winner
The world cup is where the ‘lankans really shine. Competent in all forms of the game, they actually are fielding the most experienced team in the competition.
Fan activity in the cricket thread: None

West Indies – 2 times winner
The Windies are a poorly administered team who have lost their way. Lately, extremely talented individuals have carved out a living in the shortest form of the game, T20, and in the process the Test and 1-day team has suffered.
A world cup gave them the opportunity to reconcile and bring the best players together and the administrators obliged by not picking them and pissing off the ones they did.
Fan activity in the cricket thread: Minimal, the romantic favourite.

War-torn countries – support if your government did awful things to/in them

Pakistan – 1 time winner

The Stan, have a successful history in 1-day cricket. The geopolitical landscape makes it difficult for them to piece together a decent team as no one will play them in Pakistan for fear of security.
They also have a poor track record for match fixing which hangs above every poor performance.
Fan activity in the cricket thread: None.

Afghanistan
One of the propaganda stories that came out of Afghanistan, after they have the poo poo bombed out of them, was that cricket was becoming important as a social outlet.
Whether or not that is true, they have managed to turn out a team which have played a few associate level games versus other countries and hopefully will do well.
Fan activity in the cricket thread: None

The minnows – support knowing they won’t win

Bangladesh

The bangers play the occasional test and 1-day series. A cynic would say they only have “test status” because they vote in line with India’s interest. Helpfully this thread is full of cynics.
The bangers are the best bad team. They could steal a wins or two from the established teams.

Zimbabwe

The Zimbers have always been on the cusp of becoming a “test” playing team. The politics of their country and corruption makes it difficult for them to produce a decently skilled team, and when they do people are never sure if they should be supporting them or not.

Ireland
I know nothing about the Irish team. I think at one point they had English and Australian players not good enough for the respective national teams weasel their way in via obscure patronage rules.
Any half decent player ends up in the English side but hopefully they can field a good team.

Scotland
Like Ireland, in recent history they have been qualifying well for the world cup but lack the real depth to field a team that will be competitive.

United Arab Emirates
The UAE has qualified a couple times for the world cup. I know nothing about them sorry. They are better than Canada and the Netherlands I guess.

a real chump fucked around with this message at Apr 4, 2016 around 02:12

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zakharov
Nov 30, 2002



How could you not mention Ireland defeating Pakistan in 2006 followed by the coach turning up dead?

Anyway, hooray for a new thread. Boo to the World Cup being in a time zone that makes it effectively impossible for anyone on US Eastern Time to watch a game.

I will be happy to be the token supporter of India, but I am a filthy American who only support India because that's where I learned the rules of the game, and I'm also woefully uninformed. Why is the team so bad lately anyway?

put both hands in
Nov 28, 2007

FYFE


Grimey Drawer

Cricket

Burn Down Canberra
Oct 27, 2005

GAME PLANS? We don't need no stinking game plans.



zakharov posted:

How could you not mention Ireland defeating Pakistan in 2006 followed by the coach turning up dead?

Anyway, hooray for a new thread. Boo to the World Cup being in a time zone that makes it effectively impossible for anyone on US Eastern Time to watch a game.

I will be happy to be the token supporter of India, but I am a filthy American who only support India because that's where I learned the rules of the game, and I'm also woefully uninformed. Why is the team so bad lately anyway?

India aren't bad at cricket. They have a lot of talent coming through (as you would expect with the population) . they like most countries (south Africa probably the exception) don't travel well. Home field advantage matters quite a lot in cricket. Most of the bad team talk towards the big three is just embarrassment that they basically took over cricket and doomed it to eternal series against each other while the rest of the cricketing world is left with the scraps.

Besides England. They are a bad team.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Twenty-loving-twelve. Feels like a lifetime ago. For reference:

ICC ODI Championship 20 January 2015 posted:

Australia
India
South Africa
Sri Lanka
England
New Zealand
Pakistan
West Indies
Bangladesh
Zimbabwe
Afghanistan
Ireland

That's pretty much a work of loving fiction too.

Seams
Feb 3, 2005


zakharov posted:

How could you not mention Ireland defeating Pakistan in 2006 followed by the coach turning up dead?

Anyway, hooray for a new thread. Boo to the World Cup being in a time zone that makes it effectively impossible for anyone on US Eastern Time to watch a game.

I will be happy to be the token supporter of India, but I am a filthy American who only support India because that's where I learned the rules of the game, and I'm also woefully uninformed. Why is the team so bad lately anyway?

Yeah like BDC said they're not bad just widely consistent away from home. They just got completely steamrolled by England in an ODI. Primarily by two English bowlers, one of whom whose name has been a punchline for the past few years and another who is playing his first real match in ages. And this after a relatively competitive Test series against Australia in Australia and almost sneaking away with a win in the first ODI against Australia the other day.

The again these days everybody is wildly inconsistent away from home. Go for Pakistan instead.

Seams fucked around with this message at Jan 21, 2015 around 01:39

Bill Posters
Apr 27, 2007

Where? In Brunswick and Footascray.

Illegal Hen


I think someone suggested this in the previous thread.

BBL.gif

lotharr
Dec 24, 2003

Sorry Mark, we have no idea what's wrong with your KERS mate...



Yay for new thread. Quick get all the good gifs in (already got the two best but I'm sure there's more)

Brett824
Mar 30, 2009

I could let these dreamkillers kill my self esteem or use the arrogance as the steam to follow my dream

CAT INTERCEPTOR
Nov 9, 2004

MY WORLD IS FIRE AND BLOOD


No gifs or mention of Vettori? Very disappointing

put both hands in
Nov 28, 2007

FYFE


Grimey Drawer


a real chump
Jul 30, 2003

noice

Nap Ghost

I avoided mentioning players as it would have tripled the op.

Someone needs to unearth hyperriker because he has me beat when posting about Our Dan.

Noxin of Shame
Jul 25, 2005

Our Dan


Take that cricket thread title curse.

a real chump
Jul 30, 2003

noice

Nap Ghost

Also If anyone does a country effort post I will link it in the OP.

a real chump
Jul 30, 2003

noice

Nap Ghost

Noxin of Shame posted:

Take that cricket thread title curse.

I almost mentioning SA choking in it but figured it would rip space time.

Jon Von Anchovi
Sep 5, 2014



Ground floor for the aussie world cup win played purely in the spirit of the game

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008



Jon Von Anchovi posted:

Ground floor for the aussie world cup win played purely in the spirit of the game

Judging by your av you came here on a boat, gently caress off back to the ocean

Jon Von Anchovi
Sep 5, 2014



Byolante posted:

Judging by your av you came here on a boat, gently caress off back to the ocean

Theoretically.

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005


SUCKING
THE
SHIT
STRAIGHT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE:
VERY
EXPENSIVE





College Slice

Bill Posters posted:

I think someone suggested this in the previous thread.

BBL.gif





That was me and I would have to say loving lmao nice.

Noxin of Shame
Jul 25, 2005

Our Dan


Jon Von Anchovi posted:

Theoretically.

Unimpressed
Feb 13, 2013



Byolante posted:

Judging by your av you came here on a boat, gently caress off back to the ocean

"For those who've come across the seas
We've boundless plains to share;"

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Did someone say gifs?






RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005


SUCKING
THE
SHIT
STRAIGHT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE:
VERY
EXPENSIVE





College Slice

Now post Strauss glasses dot gif.

Seams
Feb 3, 2005


drat I never realised how good a ball it was that bowled Ponting in that .gif.

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005


SUCKING
THE
SHIT
STRAIGHT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE:
VERY
EXPENSIVE





College Slice

Now someone photoshop big bash fat Kallis into the gif.

Airstream Driver
May 6, 2009


Pretty disappointed we skipped 2014. It was a good year for me.

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005


SUCKING
THE
SHIT
STRAIGHT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE:
VERY
EXPENSIVE





College Slice

Here's KP arguing with an imaginary person he invented.

Burn Down Canberra
Oct 27, 2005

GAME PLANS? We don't need no stinking game plans.



He is pretty crazy.

Spedman
Mar 12, 2010

Kangaroos hate Hasselblads

RideTheSpiral posted:

Here's KP arguing with an imaginary person he invented.



I can imagine him turning into some kind of Colonel Kurtz character in his old age.

Seams
Feb 3, 2005


The ECB is like bizarro-Cricket Australia in that they will dump their most successful batsman ever for minor indiscretions while CA just lets their players do whatever they want even if they're not that good.

Fanatic
Mar 9, 2006



Nice OP Spiffy, you are truly an excitement machine and nobody is a cleaner hitter of the ball.

Mister Chief
Jun 6, 2011



Two years to work on a new thread and that's the best you could do?

a real chump
Jul 30, 2003

noice

Nap Ghost

The OP only reflects the community it grew up in.

Mister Chief
Jun 6, 2011



I have a good image for Pakistan.

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005


SUCKING
THE
SHIT
STRAIGHT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE:
VERY
EXPENSIVE





College Slice

Put this post from the other thread in the OP.

Doctor Cave posted:

Remember, before the Ashes we have 4(?) tests in India. If Johnson is terrible in those tests, and guys like Pattinson regain their fitness, Johnson might not make it to the Ashes.

We can only hope.

put both hands in
Nov 28, 2007

FYFE


Grimey Drawer

RideTheSpiral posted:

Put this post from the other thread in the OP.

My greatest achievement.

a real chump
Jul 30, 2003

noice

Nap Ghost

I like this one too

Dumb Username
Oct 20, 2012




Also, The Great Shane Watson

RideTheSpiral
Sep 18, 2005


SUCKING
THE
SHIT
STRAIGHT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE:
VERY
EXPENSIVE





College Slice

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Dumb Username
Oct 20, 2012



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