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Cricket
Blackface in crowd
References to Lord of the Rings
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Smorgasbord
Jun 18, 2004

Our review identified changes needed to be made and, in Stephen, we have a coach who has a reputation for demanding the highest standards.


Seams posted:

If you hate Warner you should've watched the match last night. He couldn't pierce the field at all and every shot that did was cut off at the boundary. He was getting so visibly frustrated and kept yelling, punching his bat, etc.

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MrL_JaKiri
Sep 23, 2003

A bracing glass of carrot juice!


BrigadierSensible posted:

Then imagine a Warner, Warne, Healy commentary team. Go on, I dare you.

And then a player called Warnest will come along who will be the most annoying of all

Scylo
Aug 5, 2009


David Warner is the most talented opening batter in the modern era and has a brilliant tactical mind, having been able to learn from greats like Clarke and Watson

Charles 2 of Spain
Nov 7, 2017



Matty Wade in the comm box, personally endorsed by head of Cricket Australia Shaun Marsh.

ShaneMacGowansTeeth
May 22, 2007



I think this is it... I think this is how it ends


https://twitter.com/MrRayNewman/status/1387377196180938755

gay picnic defence
Oct 5, 2009

"Let there be a thousand blossoms bloom, as far as I'm concerned."



BrigadierSensible posted:

Re: David "davey" Warner

If you hate him now, imagine how much you are going to hate him in 5 or so years when he slithers his way into the commentary box.

Then imagine a Warner, Warne, Healy commentary team. Go on, I dare you.

You mean Davey, Warney and Healsy? And Tubbsy doing special comments.

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.


3.6 ront rate? Not great, not terrible

webmeister fucked around with this message at 11:10 on Apr 29, 2021

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009




3 wickets in the opening 5 minutes of the county matches today. Talk about first-class

therattle
Jul 24, 2007

I'm a family man - I run a family business. This is my son and my partner, H.W.


Soiled Meat

gay picnic defence posted:

You mean Davey, Warney and Healsy? And Tubbsy doing special comments.

Where are Tugger, Smudger and Gary?

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.




Grimey Drawer

Nearing the end of day 1 in another test in Sri Lanka and they're sitting on a healthy 260/1. Looks like it will be another thriller.

Seams
Feb 3, 2005


I keep waiting for these IPL games to get good but every team has forgotten how to bat first

BWV
Feb 24, 2005



Seams posted:

I keep waiting for these IPL games to get good but every team has forgotten how to bat first

I have it on my second monitor as I work most days and it seems that the bowlers seem to have the upper hand thus far. That or most of the top order batters seem to have trouble getting going/getting more aggressive. I post this as Shaw scores 24 in the first over.

Burn Down Canberra
Oct 27, 2005

GAME PLANS? We don't need no stinking game plans.



therattle posted:

Where are Tugger, Smudger and Gary?

Smudge will probably just be one of those weird units that plays grade cricket until he has a heart attack and dies on the field. He has done a little commentary and like a lot of athletes doing it for the first time spoke way too fast. He just isn't very charismatic though

Warner was actually pretty good at commentary whenever I have heard him. Actually I think most guys are at first because they are earnestly trying to do what they imagine the viewer wants which is to talk about the game and strategy. They might have an annoying accent (Michael Clarke and his hilarious Western Sydney drawl) or talk too fast (Ricky Ponting until he got used to it) but they do understand cricket.

Its when guys like Brad McNamara gets to them and tells them that actually the viewer wants bants and yobbo antics that they begin to suck.

English posters used to think Michael Slater was a good commentator because he would go to England and just talk about the game. Shane Warne is a little too much even in England but he is a thousand times better than he is in Australia

ShaneMacGowansTeeth
May 22, 2007



I think this is it... I think this is how it ends


With Warne it depends who he's commentating with. If he's in the box with Atherton or Holding, he'll raise his game because they are two of the best and won't stand for his brand of nonsense, if it's Bumble it's going to be an occasionally entertaining car crash

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese, and a garden full of trees.

Burn Down Canberra posted:


Its when guys like Brad McNamara gets to them and tells them that actually the viewer wants bants and yobbo antics that they begin to suck.


Wasn't there an article a while back about this? How it was a Channel 9 directive to play up the blokey "banter" and talk less about the cricket? It might have been by Gideon Haigh, but I might be misremembering.

Burn Down Canberra
Oct 27, 2005

GAME PLANS? We don't need no stinking game plans.



BrigadierSensible posted:

Wasn't there an article a while back about this? How it was a Channel 9 directive to play up the blokey "banter" and talk less about the cricket? It might have been by Gideon Haigh, but I might be misremembering.

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/blog/2015/feb/13/channel-nine-destroying-cricket-legacy

There is this article that attacks nine as a whole. I seem to remember there being one more critical of McNamara himself but I cannot find it. Probably one of the biggest issues with Australian commentary is this

quote:

In the Adelaide Test after a high-profile funeral, Steve Smith produced a moment of poetry, walking halfway to the boundary during his century celebration to salute the 408 painted large on the Oval turf. That footage will be forever twinned with Nine’s soundtrack, as Brayshaw mustered “I think he might be walking over to the number here to recognise Phillip Hughes and that’s… terrific stuff.”

What is wrong with silence and letting the moment speak for itself.

Dead Goon
Dec 13, 2002


I've never particularly liked Bumble as a commentator, same as Warne he needs to be paired up with the right people. He's got worse as he's got older and now seems to play this dazed and confused granddad character.

Paired with Warne I tend to switch channels for half an hour.

ShaneMacGowansTeeth
May 22, 2007



I think this is it... I think this is how it ends


Alas, you can't have Mikey Holding in the box for the whole day to keep them in check

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese, and a garden full of trees.

ShaneMacGowansTeeth posted:

Alas, you can't have Mikey Holding in the box for the whole day to keep them in check

I would add Ian Chappell to that.

two grumpy middle aged men who aren't prepared to take poo poo off anyone.

MrL_JaKiri
Sep 23, 2003

A bracing glass of carrot juice!


Having bowled Warwickshire out for 87, Durham are currently 168-0

Seams
Feb 3, 2005


KP is a pretty bad commentator. Doesn’t have a pleasant voice.

Madkal
Feb 11, 2008

It was all going well, and then the parademons showed up


Fallen Rib

Everything I know about Australian cricket commentary I learned from listening to The 12th Man.

ShaneMacGowansTeeth
May 22, 2007



I think this is it... I think this is how it ends


Seams posted:

KP is a pretty bad commentator. Doesn’t have a pleasant voice.

He was a lowlight on TalkSport's otherwise quite good radio commentary of the India Test series

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Madkal posted:

Everything I know about Australian cricket commentary I learned from listening to The 12th Man.

I absolutely loving loved 12th Man as a 90s teenager, but holy poo poo it has not aged well

garycoleisgod
Sep 27, 2004
Boo

My feelings on the 12th Man changed when I realized the jokes about foreign players names weren't meant to be making fun of the commentators for not putting effort into learning the correct pronunciation, but just jokes about foreign names sounding funny.


This once again proves that Richie was the best commentator just because he shut the gently caress up.

Of the current Australian lot I like Punter the best because his anger at poo poo cricket just oozes through the tv. He sound's like he's half a step from running on the field and taking over as captain just so he can yell "stop being poo poo!" at people.

And he wasn't even that great a captain!

ShaneMacGowansTeeth
May 22, 2007



I think this is it... I think this is how it ends


Ponting's commentary when Broad was running through the Aussies at Trent Bridge in 2015 and during Stokes heroics in 2019 was a highlight because he seemed like he wanted to personally throttle every Australian for being a donkey

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese, and a garden full of trees.

garycoleisgod posted:


Of the current Australian lot I like Punter the best because his anger at poo poo cricket just oozes through the tv. He sound's like he's half a step from running on the field and taking over as captain just so he can yell "stop being poo poo!" at people.


This is a great point.

Few commentators are prepared to say "That was a poo poo shot. Look at how he played all around it. He deserves to be out.", or "That was an awful ball, deserved to be smashed for four. Also the field placings are all wrong if you are going to be bowling that line." etc.

There's too much "He'll be disappointed with himself for that shot." and "Not the best ball, but still you have to put them away."

These are professional athletes. They don't need to be coddled.

It's even worse in the IPL and T20. The awful awful shots that get boundaries aren't called out for being the bullshit swipes that t hey are, and the awful awful bowling isn't called out for being the poo poo inexplicable wides that it also often is.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.




Grimey Drawer

Sometimes the commentators seem to have been instructed that they're not allowed to be negative. I guess because it would suggest the players aren't good enough to be worth watching and would risk the advertising revenue(?). I say that because I notice it a lot in the 6N Rugby in the UK. When the games are on ITV they refuse to blame people for failing, everything must have been a wonder by the other team. The BBC commentary isn't great, but they're much more willing to criticise and admit that sometimes it's just the less bad team that wins.

Scylo
Aug 5, 2009


https://twitter.com/WisdenCricket/status/1388472749643866116?s=20

looks like Warner was demoted for having his own opinions and the selectors promoted a man that will say the right things

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.




Grimey Drawer

Not for the moustache?

therattle
Jul 24, 2007

I'm a family man - I run a family business. This is my son and my partner, H.W.


Soiled Meat

goatface posted:

Not for the moustache?

Maybe the opinions were just the pretext.

exmachina
Mar 12, 2006

Look Closer


Let's not forget that his on-field performance has left much to be desired, some single figure scores and a sloooow 50.

But what has struck me for a few seasons now is the body language of the rest of the team. You can almost see them rolling their eyes. Hopefully Kane can pull the team together. I don't think SRH can make the finals at this point but they could start to look like a team at least

kingturnip
Apr 18, 2008


It's kinda funny how they have Williamson - probably the best batsman in the world - and most games he seems to face about 15 balls before the innings is over.
Good use of your assets, you asshats.

Seams
Feb 3, 2005


Missed a real good game between CSK and MI

Ratios and Tendency
Apr 23, 2010

MURALI



Jimmy Neesh got a run finally and put together a quickfire golden duck, nice.

Ratios and Tendency
Apr 23, 2010

MURALI



goatface posted:

Sometimes the commentators seem to have been instructed that they're not allowed to be negative. I guess because it would suggest the players aren't good enough to be worth watching and would risk the advertising revenue(?). I say that because I notice it a lot in the 6N Rugby in the UK. When the games are on ITV they refuse to blame people for failing, everything must have been a wonder by the other team. The BBC commentary isn't great, but they're much more willing to criticise and admit that sometimes it's just the less bad team that wins.

This is the right way to commentate though I think. A lot of the time when someone is "playing poo poo" it's because the other guy is playing better and putting them under pressure, and just in terms of tone and narratives and stuff it's better to focus on the positives and who's in form. Otherwise you just end up an old moany oval office like Holding or Botham where nothing's ever good enough.

It's better for the players too, if you're always negative and focusing on the guys who are struggling you get a culture of avoiding mistakes rather than playing positively.

Ratios and Tendency fucked around with this message at 03:04 on May 2, 2021

therattle
Jul 24, 2007

I'm a family man - I run a family business. This is my son and my partner, H.W.


Soiled Meat

Ratios and Tendency posted:

This is the right way to commentate though I think. A lot of the time when someone is "playing poo poo" it's because the other guy is playing better and putting them under pressure, and just in terms of tone and narratives and stuff it's better to focus on the positives and who's in form. Otherwise you just end up an old moany oval office like Holding or Botham where nothing's ever good enough.

It's better for the players too, if you're always negative and focusing on the guys who are struggling you get a culture of avoiding mistakes rather than playing positively.

I think that’s only partly true. One can play badly independent of what the opposition is doing. A batsman might be out of form, staying back to a spinner instead of coming forward, not using his feet well, engaging in poor shots selection like going for a hook when he knows there are fielders on the leg boundary, etc. A bowler might be bowling too full/short, too wide or straight, etc. A captain may be making obviously bad decisions like not enough slips or a catcher in an obvious position. These are all fair game for commentators. I agree they shouldn’t be the primary focus but they’re important factors.

Dead Goon
Dec 13, 2002


Yeah look, I'm an Aussie cricketer I am.

Yeah look, that CSK v MI match was the best I've seen so far. Pollard can certainly hit a long ball.

webmeister
Jan 31, 2007

The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Wait, are people actually watching and enjoying the IPL unironically?

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Dead Goon
Dec 13, 2002


webmeister posted:

Wait, are people actually watching and enjoying the IPL unironically?

Yeah look, I hate T20 cricket, but it's something to do and some of the games have been entertaining.

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