Cricket 2012: Cricket has always been a game stuck in the past

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Cricket This poll is closed.
Blackface in crowd	129	55.36%
References to Lord of the Rings	104	44.64%
Total:	233 votes

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dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Are the NZ Sky commentators worse than ever? yes It's a crying shame more of them can't be removed for max fixing. Even Ian Smith is a fuckwad these days - too much exposure to the cunts who call the rugby. Whoever is providing the Sri Lankan colour commentary is just a whinging little bitch.

I've just had to turn the Sky audio off. On the plus side the endless stream of scrotum and poo jokes on the ACC is pretty solid - even with audio 30 seconds out of sync it's preferable to the double intellects of Squeaky Styris and Simon Drool.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2015 09:51

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 15:39

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Smorgasbord posted:

OK say Brendon McCullum is known in the team for loving KFC, is it alright to make jokes about his love of KFC? I would assume you would say yes. If amongst the same group of guys Ross Taylor also loves KFC, there must be no jokes about his love of KFC because Knuc U Knite has racist ideas about Samoans so whoever jokes about Ross is racist?

It's that grey area of intent versus context.

Say a black female tennis player has the impressive musculature of a silver-back gorilla, but if a commentator describes her as such he'll be falling into the morass of societal racism that surrounds black people and sports women in particular. Best for us all if the commentator just shuts his gob lest we drown under 888-screeds from the offended - this is why morons with microphones earn the big bucks as professionals.

Taylor could have a KFC tattoo for all I know, but laughing that the one PI guy on the field must be a fried chicken fiend is always gonna be dumb

tl/dr best commentators don't talk about anything except WASP

# ¿ Jan 23, 2015 10:41

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Who is going to any WCC games?

I'm seeing Eng v NZ in the pool matches and the Wellington quarter-final. I loving hate limited over cricket, and the Wellington stadium is a real poo poo spectator experience. Hooray!

# ¿ Jan 24, 2015 09:49

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

If that's a fat cricketer then the sport has changed for the worse :boonie:

Best thing about worldcup - athletes from the minnows display the traditional cricketer's frame

# ¿ Jan 24, 2015 13:28

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

-Spiffy- posted:

This is cool as heck.

Fucken oath, that stumping.

What fourteen year old kid wouldn't die to be given a few overs on an international quality pitch, with high-speed cameras and stump mikes. If the price is to have NZ Sky commentators talk over the footage, so be it.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2015 02:32

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Does it take into account when a player is reprimanded or fined for behaviour?

# ¿ Jan 27, 2015 04:38

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

I havent seen England play since I watched the last Ashes, and I have no idea how they are placed entering the CWC.

How bad is it?

# ¿ Jan 28, 2015 11:38

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Ratios and Tendency posted:

I've come to hate Ross Taylor and his retarded face that he pulls after loving up.

Taylor's loving gently caress up face, lol

I had hoped he'd have a great career, but I reckon he wont. Lovely technique, but Taylor self destructs on the field like Ryder does off it.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2015 01:24

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Wandle Cax posted:

Well he averages over 40 in both forms of the game so i'd say he's doing alright for himself so far.

Yeah he is doing alright.

5 years ago I used to hope he'd become as good a batsman as Crowe. Not yet at least - i think now career looks like it
is going to be one of potential not quite realised

# ¿ Jan 30, 2015 11:16

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

code:


ODI 2015 - players ordered by most fifties and over

Player 			Mat Inns NO 		Runs 	HS 		Ave 	
HM Amla (SA) 	4 	4 	2 	413 		153* 	206.50 	
KS Williamson (NZ) 5 	5 	0 	295	 	103 		59.00 	
TM Dilshan (SL) 	7 	6 	0 	397 		116 		66.16 	
KC Sangakkara (SL) 7 	6 	1 	321 		113* 	64.20 	
AB de Villiers (SA) 4 	3 	0 	249 		149 		83.00 	
IR Bell (Eng) 		4* 	4 	1 	239 		141 		79.66 	
Javed Ahmadi (Afg) 4 	4 	0 	189 		81 		47.25 	
DA Miller (SA) 	5 	4 	2 	223 		130* 	111.50 	
JWA Taylor (Eng) 	4* 	4 	2 	130 		69* 		65.00 	
RR Rossouw (SA) 5 	5 	0 	271 		132 		54.20 	
MN Samuels (WI) 5 	5 	0 	196 		68 		39.20 	
D Jayawardene (SL) 7 6 	0 	278 		104 		46.33 	
BB McCullum (NZ) 6 	6 	0 	232 		117 		38.66 	
RG Sharma (India) 1 	1 	0 	138 		138 		138.00 	
JH Davey (Scot) 	3 	2 	2 	75 		53* 		65 		
HJW Gardiner (Scot)2  2 	0 	101 		96 		50.50 	
Nasir Jamal (Afg)2 	2 	1 	60 		52* 		60.00 	
Sam. Shenwari (Afg)3 2 	0 	60 		50 		30.00 	
DA Warner (Aus) 	3 	2 	0 	151 		127 		75.50 	
RD Berrington (Scot) 4 3 	0 	95 		62 		31.66 	
JC Buttler (Eng) 	4* 	3 	1 	103 		50* 		51.50 	
AJ Finch (Aus) 	4 	3 	0 	143 		96 		47.66 	
EC Joyce (Ire) 	4 	3 	0 	77 		51 		25.66 	
MW Machan (Scot) 4 	3 	0 	123 		86 		41.00 	
EJG Morgan (Eng) 4* 	3 	0 	123 		121 		41.00 	
Naji. Zadran (Afg) 4 	3 	0 	129 		83 		43.00 	
NJ O'Brien (Ire) 	4 	3 	1 	135 		80* 		67.50 	
SK Raina (India) 	4* 	3 	0 	53 		51 		17.66 	
JE Root (Eng) 	4* 	3 	0 	77 		69 		25.66 	
SPD Smith (Aus) 	4 	3 	1 	186 		102* 	93.00 	
F du Plessis (SA)	 5 	4 	1 	71 		51* 		23.66
AM Rahane (India) 4* 	4 	1 	146 	73 	48.66 	213 
DJG Sammy (WI) 	4 	4 	1 	107 	51 	35.66 	126 
GD Elliott (NZ) 	5 	5 	2 	194 		104* 	64.66 	
D Ramdin (WI) 	5 	5 	0 	133 	57 	26.60 	142 	
AD Russell (WI) 	5 	5 	1 	123 	64* 	30.75 	86 	
DR Smith (WI) 	5 	5 	0 	129 	64 	25.80 	141 	
L Ronchi (NZ) 	7 	6 	2 	279 	170* 		69.75
LRPL Taylor (NZ) 	6 	6 	0 	172 	96 	28.66 	247 	
CJ Anderson (NZ) 7 	7 	1 	210 	81 	35.00 	214 	
MJ Guptill (NZ) 	7 	7 	1 	124 	66* 	20.66 	172

# ¿ Jan 30, 2015 11:38

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

had a lyrical looking drive shot, and unpleasant unease in heatpump commercials - fair trade.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2015 13:10

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

goatface posted:

England put in to bat, fold for less than Scotland, game is over by lunch.

^^^^^ noice ^^^^^

Great game to go to - A++ would watch England collapse anytime. I haven't seen a NZ game so onesided since Lomu went apeshit on Mike Catt's twitching form.

Does anyone know where I can find a copy of this? Replays at the ground were shite and I really want a chance to see Southee's movement in the air

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 11:39

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

I love the Guardian's photostream of unhappy English players. Haven't seen such misery since the Ashes.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 12:11

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Caution Shane Warne commentating

http://www.crichd.in/live-sports/sky-sports-2-live-streaming.php?c=UK2

# ¿ Feb 22, 2015 09:34

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

This India attack isn't looking very dangerous - every SA dismissal has been soft

# ¿ Feb 22, 2015 11:23

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

subroc posted:

Groundskeeper is a goon

For international viewers - since the quake Christchurch has a reputation for some of the most dynamic car parking solutions

# ¿ Feb 23, 2015 04:02

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

NZ TAB pricing for $1 invested

quote:

New Zealand 2.05
Australia 1.70

($1.87 an even return in NZ fyi)

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 15:34

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Metservice has a page for the cricket http://metservice.com/cricket.html

quote:

Light winds and plenty of fine breaks. Just the chance of an isolated shower, hopefully staying clear of Eden Park.

(Each forecast is for the maximum expected duration of each game - i.e. approximately 8 hours.)

# ¿ Feb 25, 2015 03:17

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Amla's beard is pretty mean right now. But that sucker is gonna be off the chain if he can get some grey going as he ages.

WG Grace - devout Muslim or Duck Dynasty fan?

# ¿ Feb 27, 2015 05:43

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Pissing on the grave of Phil Hughes there you cunts

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 05:05

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Nah, who am I kidding. You miss a short ball you deserve to die lol

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 05:06

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Just taking the piss of the wanking sanctimony surrounding poor ole Hughes' death.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 05:11

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Burn Down Canberra posted:

Agreed.

gently caress yeah.

I love youtubing old games when chaps would face bouncers bareheaded and take blows to the face.

We once were men.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 05:16

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Big choke that

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 05:27

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

RideTheSpiral posted:

I still can't get over the earlier 5 minute tactical conversation between Clarke and Johnson devised the strategy of breaking Macullums loving arm. Lmao.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 06:28

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Mitchell looks sad because his six overs produced no wickets but went for 68 runs

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 10:08

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

The english bowlers are awful. To a man.

lol

quote:

http://www.espncricinfo.com/icc-cricket-world-cup-2015/content/story/841585.html
There was a telling moment in Lahiru Thirimanne's post-match press conference. Asked by a mischievous journalist whether Afghanistan's bowling attack was better than England's, Thirimanne paused to think before answering.

The pause in itself spoke volumes. The fact that he had to weigh-up the relative strengths of a side that has been an Associate member of the ICC for less than two years, against the nation that invented the game. The fact he had to weigh-up the strengths of a side containing players who learned the game in refugee camps, against a nation whose players are millionaires. A side which has been playing ODIs for less than six years, against a side whose board has decided that opportunities for such sides in future World Cups should be limited. His pause damned England as eloquently as his bat just had.

Eventually, with a cheeky smile, Thirimanne replied.

"To be honest, that day Afghanistan bowled really well," he said. "But there was a little bit for them in the wicket. Today it was easy for me, to be honest."

# ¿ Mar 1, 2015 11:47

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Poor loving Ross Taylor. There's not much pleasure in knowing you're a better batsman than Stephen Fleming.

But Williamson, holy poo poo. He has transformed into an absolute freak - the only explanation is that two years ago he gave Satan a handjob behind the Vance Stand at the Basin Reserve

At the start of 2013 he had played 34 games and had an average of 31.80

He's now played 69 games and his average is 47.29 - the highest average of any NZ player.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2015 11:45

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Don't you get it thread? Other cultures might might talk about chicken like this, but Americans talk about chicken like that :smug:

thanks Mods - now the cricket thread's culture of fried chicken celebration is under attack from hyper-sensitve American value judgements - which are kind of racist.

:sweep:

quote:

Published 9/12/2003

By Kelly Exelby of the Bay of Plenty Time

It's every young cricketer's dream to pull on the silver fern and the baggy black cap of New Zealand.

Tauranga's Kane Williamson is well on his way to a brilliant sporting career - and he's using England cricketer Graham Thorpe's bat to get there.

Boasting a batting average of 42.4 in a decade-long test career that was revived this year, elegant left-hander Thorpe is one of cricket's most dogged fighters.

But even Thorpe would struggle to match the majestic deeds of 12-year-old Williamson.
Williamson led Bay of Plenty Coastlands to the Northern Districts under-14 title last week in Gisborne.

He amassed an incredible 420 runs in just four visits to the batting crease - pummelling unbeaten Bay of Plenty's opposition with scores of 101, 128no, 100no and 91no.

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=11410866

# ¿ Mar 3, 2015 00:59

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

webmeister posted:

It's interesting how dated their thinking seems to be in this. Morgan still talking about aiming for 275 when it feels like Aus/NZ/SA/India are targeting 350+ first innings scores in every game of the WC

That reference to 275 was specifically at Wellington Stadium which is a lovely rugby ground with a drop in pitch.

Yes the pitches have definitely improved in quality over the last decade and there hasn't been all that much cricket played there since opening in 2000.

But the highest total is 322 (by Aus 2005) - and only nine times have a side scored more than 280. 275 might not be ambitious, but I think its probably a par score there.

Definitely agree that England has failed with the bat a few times, but they should have been in with a sniff of defending the decent total they put up against the Lankans.
A team isn't competitive if they can't pressure the batsman - the English master-plan plan so far seems to be pitch it short at 130-140k and pray for a lucky mishit or runout.

Defending 400 runs wouldn't save these schoolboys

dusty fucked around with this message at 04:02 on Mar 4, 2015

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 03:59

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Australia keeping an out-of-form all-rounder at 3 has been one of the braver strategies in world cricket.

Can't believe all that faith in Watto was misplaced - maybe he just needs to smash a few in the nets.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 09:37

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Kiwi tragics only - Trent Boult interviewed by Ali Ikram

http://www.3news.co.nz/tvshows/campbelllive/bowling-magic-with-trent-boult-2015030419#axzz3TP8IzOZM

Ikram's dad was a solid cricketer from Pakistan and used to work as the local liason when Pakistan toured NZ, so apparently he'd get to have Imran Khan, Wasim Akram and Javed Miandad etc round for dinner.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 09:53

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Smorgasbord posted:

"Trent Boult is an inspiration to small mouthed kids everywhere" - The Alternative Commentary Collective

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 10:04

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Jon Von Anchovi posted:

thats an awesome ball from anyone. and how goods the fist pump

every time that dude takes a wicket for some reason I think of the gummi bears in Hot Shots

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 11:06

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

webmeister posted:

I'd actually say the worst part about the game was Warne and the other Nine idiots in the commentary box

"I was in a game in 1992 when some batsman smashed a big six up onto that roof, what a classic moment"

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 01:15

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

goatface posted:

It's all lowest bidder.

It's all imported labour from the 3rd world - local crews were too expensive so they've brought the equivalent of sweatshop scabs.

The TV footage of this tournament sucks - the crews are not even familiar with the grounds and really aren't up to the standards of the local workers.

Another reason why ICC = cunts

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 01:14

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Cricket on telly should have everything going for it visually - technical experts, loving awesome gear and way too much air time = inspired awesomeness.

Dunno about you guys but I'd willingly murder for the host broadcasters to take over somehow - even with the same "talent" commentating

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 01:46

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

Noxin of Shame posted:

Ah, the cameramen are South African.

Do you have a source?

I thought they'd be comically evil and use Malay slaves out of Dubai or something.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 01:49

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

slow golf clap - literally illegal for anyone else to pay so little
200 crew from South Africa, India and Malaysia, $156AUD for a 10 to 12 hour day

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 02:20

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 15:39

dusty: Nov 30, 2004

If it was a kfc joke then you know the mods would have caught it

Russell was getting great venemous bouncers rising up then, that dismissal was pretty well executed

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 12:49

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