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bacalou



why isn't there a slap bass sound clip button in byobscript

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bacalou posted:

why isn't there a slap bass sound clip button in byobscript

-=-=--=-=-
thx 2 death sext & rushi !

~see u later space president..~

Cyber Dog


this is the best thread ivve ever read...you area all doing really good work

Cyber Dog


Dont bully me! posted:

*at diner*
George: I know kung fu
Jerry: You know kung fu?
George: I know kung fu
Elaine: You do NOT know kung fu
George: *smug* I know kung fu
*kramer walks in*
Jerry: George knows kung fu
Kramer: Yeah I know
Elaine: Really?
Jerry: You knew?
Kramer: I did
Jerry: You knew that he knew kung fu?
Kramer: Yeah man it's all these computers. The internet. They jack you in and *convulses*
Jerry: Well, now i've heard everything
*bass line to outro*

Cyber Dog


jerry: so there i am, thinking the matrix was just a bad dream, having dinner with a beautiful woman, and then...
elaine: and then what?
jerry: man hands.
elaine: man hands?
jerry: man hands.
elaine: so?
jerry: so it HAD to be a program!

Cyber Dog


*kramer enters*
elaine: kramer, get THIS. jerry says he met a woman with man hands.
*kramer spits out matrix coffee, hold up hand to elaine as if to say "hold on"*
kramer: jerry, you know what that means.
jerry: i KNOW!

ulvir

Jeg estimerer deg ikke.

[George and Jerry are meeting the crew of Nebuchadnezzar for the first time]
George: My name is George, I'm unemployed and...
Jerry: [interrupts] We all are at this point, technically speaking
George: *snorts* that's right. I'm no longer the biggest loser around!
Jerry: I'd say you're the king of losers, considering you're the chosen one

GEExCEE


lol

Nosfereefer


george: so youre saying i can dogde bullets?
jerry: im saying you can dodge bullets
george: so im a bullet dogder?
jerry: yep, youre a bullet dodger
george: just dodging the bullets

deep dish peat moss

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison, the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.

George: Jerry, just remember. The spoon is not a lie if you believe it.

Ace of Baes
SNITCH

George: I'm done, I'm done with the matrix!
Jerry: Just like that?
George: Just like that!
Jerry: You're matrix free.
George: I'm matrix free.
Jerry: You're a matrix free man.
George: I'm a free man Jerry! I'm a free man!
Jerry: So how is it?
George: I'm lovin it Jerry, I'm lovin it!

Commie NedFlanders


Jerry: I don't see what's so special about hackers

Kramer: of course you don't Jerry, you're at this level and hackers are allll the way up here

George: *taking a bite of pastrami on rye* it's the levels Jerry

Jerry: What levels?? Since when are there levels?

Kramer: Always Jerry! These hackers can zoooooom right into the telephone and pop right out the other end into your email.

George: *piece of pastrami falls out of mouth onto his shirt* wait, they can read your emails?!

Kramer: ooohh yeah George, they can read all of it. that's why I type all of mine in code.

Jerry: Oh right, like pig latin?

Kramer: No Jerry, Pig Latino, my friend Garcia from the waffle house showed me how.

George: *dabs at shirt with napkin*

Jerry: I don't buy it, my uncle Leo is hacking all the time, you've never seen a guy hack more than Uncle Leo. Just last week he got me kicked out of a movie theater because he was hacking through the entire intro, and he still refuses to use email because he "can't find the stamps".

☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
Love God, Love Thy Neighbor
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭

google THIS


Jerry: So how's the whole chosen one thing going, George?

George: Oh, that. Yeah, I quit.

Jerry: You quit? Why? You had a hot girlfriend, you got to wear cool shades, you were the only hope for humanity, how could you just quit?

George: Well, that Smith guy, he's, um…(gesticulates vaguely) replicating himself.

Jerry: Replicating himself.

George: Yeah, you know, he jabs someone in the chest, and they become...him.

Jerry: Then what does he become?

George: He's him too, Jerry.

Jerry: So they're both him?

George: They're both him.

Jerry: Then what?

George: Then those hims touch two more people and then they're all him.

Jerry: So he's got the Midas touch except everything he touches turns into…

George: Him.

Jerry: Gotcha.

George: And all the hims want to kill me. I mean how am I supposed to compete with that?

*Eight Kramers burst into the room*

Kramers: (in slightly off-sync unison) Jerry you're not gonna believe this!

Commie NedFlanders


lol ^

☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
Love God, Love Thy Neighbor
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭

Ace of Baes
SNITCH

Jett posted:

Jerry: So how's the whole chosen one thing going, George?

George: Oh, that. Yeah, I quit.

Jerry: You quit? Why? You had a hot girlfriend, you got to wear cool shades, you were the only hope for humanity, how could you just quit?

George: Well, that Smith guy, he's, um…(gesticulates vaguely) replicating himself.

Jerry: Replicating himself.

George: Yeah, you know, he jabs someone in the chest, and they become...him.

Jerry: Then what does he become?

George: He's him too, Jerry.

Jerry: So they're both him?

George: They're both him.

Jerry: Then what?

George: Then those hims touch two more people and then they're all him.

Jerry: So he's got the Midas touch except everything he touches turns into…

George: Him.

Jerry: Gotcha.

George: And all the hims want to kill me. I mean how am I supposed to compete with that?

*Eight Kramers burst into the room*

Kramers: (in slightly off-sync unison) Jerry you're not gonna believe this!

lol

tao of lmao

Jett posted:

Jerry: So how's the whole chosen one thing going, George?

George: Oh, that. Yeah, I quit.

Jerry: You quit? Why? You had a hot girlfriend, you got to wear cool shades, you were the only hope for humanity, how could you just quit?

George: Well, that Smith guy, he's, um…(gesticulates vaguely) replicating himself.

Jerry: Replicating himself.

George: Yeah, you know, he jabs someone in the chest, and they become...him.

Jerry: Then what does he become?

George: He's him too, Jerry.

Jerry: So they're both him?

George: They're both him.

Jerry: Then what?

George: Then those hims touch two more people and then they're all him.

Jerry: So he's got the Midas touch except everything he touches turns into…

George: Him.

Jerry: Gotcha.

George: And all the hims want to kill me. I mean how am I supposed to compete with that?

*Eight Kramers burst into the room*

Kramers: (in slightly off-sync unison) Jerry you're not gonna believe this!

haha

Cyber Dog


In Drywall posted:

jerry: so there i am, thinking the matrix was just a bad dream, having dinner with a beautiful woman, and then...
elaine: and then what?
jerry: man hands.
elaine: man hands?
jerry: man hands.
elaine: so?
jerry: so it HAD to be a program!

In Drywall posted:

*kramer enters*
elaine: kramer, get THIS. jerry says he met a woman with man hands.
*kramer spits out matrix coffee, hold up hand to elaine as if to say "hold on"*
kramer: jerry, you know what that means.
jerry: i KNOW!

elaine: you believe this man hand thing too?
kramer: if she's got man hands she's a prgram. you better believe it lady
elaine: so what'd you do after?
jerry: after dinner with the program?
elaine: yeah, the program with man hands.
jerry: i gave her my number
kramer: you GAVE a program your number?!
jerry: i gave her my number!!
kramer: JERRY! That could lead them STRAIGHT to the nebaukennzher!
jerry (exasperated): WE HAD DINNER!

Cosmic Charlie

How do you do? Truckin' in style along the avenue

Jett posted:

Jerry: So how's the whole chosen one thing going, George?

George: Oh, that. Yeah, I quit.

Jerry: You quit? Why? You had a hot girlfriend, you got to wear cool shades, you were the only hope for humanity, how could you just quit?

George: Well, that Smith guy, he's, um…(gesticulates vaguely) replicating himself.

Jerry: Replicating himself.

George: Yeah, you know, he jabs someone in the chest, and they become...him.

Jerry: Then what does he become?

George: He's him too, Jerry.

Jerry: So they're both him?

George: They're both him.

Jerry: Then what?

George: Then those hims touch two more people and then they're all him.

Jerry: So he's got the Midas touch except everything he touches turns into…

George: Him.

Jerry: Gotcha.

George: And all the hims want to kill me. I mean how am I supposed to compete with that?

*Eight Kramers burst into the room*

Kramers: (in slightly off-sync unison) Jerry you're not gonna believe this!

Bwee

In Drywall posted:

this is the best thread ivve ever read...you area all doing really good work

Bwee

In Drywall posted:

jerry: so there i am, thinking the matrix was just a bad dream, having dinner with a beautiful woman, and then...
elaine: and then what?
jerry: man hands.
elaine: man hands?
jerry: man hands.
elaine: so?
jerry: so it HAD to be a program!

lmao

Bwee

Jett posted:

Jerry: So how's the whole chosen one thing going, George?

George: Oh, that. Yeah, I quit.

Jerry: You quit? Why? You had a hot girlfriend, you got to wear cool shades, you were the only hope for humanity, how could you just quit?

George: Well, that Smith guy, he's, um…(gesticulates vaguely) replicating himself.

Jerry: Replicating himself.

George: Yeah, you know, he jabs someone in the chest, and they become...him.

Jerry: Then what does he become?

George: He's him too, Jerry.

Jerry: So they're both him?

George: They're both him.

Jerry: Then what?

George: Then those hims touch two more people and then they're all him.

Jerry: So he's got the Midas touch except everything he touches turns into…

George: Him.

Jerry: Gotcha.

George: And all the hims want to kill me. I mean how am I supposed to compete with that?

*Eight Kramers burst into the room*

Kramers: (in slightly off-sync unison) Jerry you're not gonna believe this!

flipoff

Really, bitch?


Meanwhile, I'm in this computer dream world, I'm dating an agent, something's gotta give!

WetNightmare

ulvir posted:

George: so I am the chosen one?
Morpheus: That's right.
George: But why do I have to be Neo?
Morpheus: It was foretold by the oracle that-
George: [interrupts] I don't wanna be Neo, I want to be Art Vandelay!


Jett posted:

Jerry: So how's the whole chosen one thing going, George?

George: Oh, that. Yeah, I quit.

Jerry: You quit? Why? You had a hot girlfriend, you got to wear cool shades, you were the only hope for humanity, how could you just quit?

George: Well, that Smith guy, he's, um…(gesticulates vaguely) replicating himself.

Jerry: Replicating himself.

George: Yeah, you know, he jabs someone in the chest, and they become...him.

Jerry: Then what does he become?

George: He's him too, Jerry.

Jerry: So they're both him?

George: They're both him.

Jerry: Then what?

George: Then those hims touch two more people and then they're all him.

Jerry: So he's got the Midas touch except everything he touches turns into…

George: Him.

Jerry: Gotcha.

George: And all the hims want to kill me. I mean how am I supposed to compete with that?

*Eight Kramers burst into the room*

Kramers: (in slightly off-sync unison) Jerry you're not gonna believe this!

too many others to quote, but these two, god drat

WetNightmare

MORPHEUS: The Matrix is a system, Neo.
GEORGE: Uh huh.
MORPHEUS: That system is our enemy.
GEORGE: Uh huh.
MORPHEUS: But when you're inside, [uh huh]you look around, [uh huh]what do you see? Businessmen, [uh huh] teachers, [uh huh] lawyers, carpenters --
GEORGE: [looking down as they walk] I'm wearing shoes, but I'm not wearing shoes. This is crazy.
MORPHEUS: You have to understand, [uh huh] most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will --
GEORGE: These shoes were probably made it a sweatshop, except...they weren't.
MORPHEUS:
GEORGE: I'm sorry. You were saying?

flipoff

Really, bitch?


If chosen George walks through that door, he will kill independent George!

WetNightmare

AGENT SMITH: I hate this place. This zoo. This prison.
JERRY: Mhm.
AGENT SMITH: This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer.
JERRY: Eh. Well.
AGENT SMITH: It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it.
JERRY: Burnt popcorn. I hate that smell.
AGENT SMITH: I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.
JERRY: [smirk] Geez, Georgie, you know your friend is really something else.
GEORGE: I told ya! .

alnilam

Postin in the Springtime


Jerry: A virus?
George: He said we're a virus, Jerry!
Jerry: Uh huh.
George: He said "you are a plague and we are the cure."
Elaine: What kind of cure? Cause ya know, sometimes the cure is worse than the disease
Jerry: Yeah, what kind of cure?
George: I don't care if sometimes the cure is worse than the disease!
Jerry: Well is it?
George: It doesn't matter Jerry!
Elaine: It seems pretty important to me
George: Look the point is, he said we're a disease! Forget about the cure!
Jerry: How can you bring up the cure and then say forget about the cure?
George: Forget about the cure, I don't care about the cure!
guest cameo Robert Smith in next booth, looking ornery: Who said that?


ty manifisto

tao of lmao

Jerry: It's a trilogy about nothing.

Bwee

Dont bully me! posted:

Jerry: It's a trilogy about nothing.

WetNightmare

Dont bully me! posted:

Jerry: It's a trilogy about nothing.

playground tough

im lawrence fishbone

Ace of Baes
SNITCH

Dont bully me! posted:

Jerry: It's a trilogy about nothing.

dogcrash truther

by Lowtax

WetNightmare posted:

costanza: i was fighting agent smith, and we were really getting into it -- i mean slamming each other into walls, kicking each other across the subway transit, the whole 9 yards!

jerry: wow. so then what happened?

costanza: we're throwing strikes at super speeds, blocking each other, when all the sudden we were locked in a grip, face-to-face.

jerry: yeah?

costanza: anderson did this thing where he flicked my adam's apple....some sort of ju-jitsu, i think....and...and, well...

jerry: aaaand?

costanza: i think it might have moved, jerry.

jerry: what might have moved?

costanza: ...you know, it.

haha

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Commie NedFlanders


Neo George visits his parents



Frank Costanza: what do you need that coat for? is it raining?

George: it's not for rain, it doesn't really matter what we wear. I can get any outfit in the system.

Frank: oh so now you think you can get any suit you want? is that it? and this is what you pick?!

Estelle Constanza: Frank leave him alone, that's the style these days.

Frank: Style? What's this about style??

George: I like the way it looks

Frank: oh so my son is a fashionista now?!

Estelle: He's very fashionable

George: oh God, mom....please....

Frank: You look ridiculous. Why can't you just wear a suit a tie for God's sake?

George: No! I'm not going to wear a suit and tie. That's what he wears and I am not like him! I am anti-suit!

Estelle: He's anti-suit Frank

Frank: Anti-suit? Are you telling me you're never going to wear a suit and tie? If I drop dead tomorrow my son is going to show up at my funeral wearing those sunglasses and that coat? It's the middle of summer!

Estelle: Don't talk like that Frank, you're not going to die.

Frank: I'll die whenever I want woman!! and I'll be damned if any son of mine tries to turn my funeral into a fashion show!

George: Stop!! just stop! I can turn it into whatever I want, I am the chosen one, and this conversation is over! I like my coat and I'm going to wear my coat and that's that.

Estelle: There you go Frank, he's the Chosen One.

Frank: oh boy, the Chosen One. He should of chose a sensible outfit!

Commie NedFlanders fucked around with this message at Jan 22, 2015 around 04:15

☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
Love God, Love Thy Neighbor
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭

dogcrash truther

by Lowtax

Commie NedFlanders posted:

Neo George visits his parents

Frank Costanza: what do you need that coat for? is it raining?

George: it's not for rain, it doesn't really matter what we wear. I can get any outfit in the system.

Frank: oh so now you think you can get any suit you want? is that it? and this is what you pick?!

Estelle Constanza: Frank leave him alone, that's the style these days.

Frank: Style? What's this about style??

George: I like the way it looks

Frank: oh so my son is a fashionista now?!

Estelle: He's very fashionable

George: oh God, mom....please....

Frank: You look ridiculous. Why can't you just wear a suit a tie for God's sake?

George: No! I'm not going to wear a suit and tie. That's what he wears and I am not like him! I am anti-suit!

Estelle: He's anti-suit Frank

Frank: Anti-suit? Are you telling me you're never going to wear a suit and tie? If I drop dead tomorrow my son is going to show up at my funeral wearing those sunglasses and that coat? It's the middle of summer!

Estelle: Don't talk like that Frank, you're not going to die.

Frank: I'll die whenever I want woman!! and I'll be damned if any son of mine tries to turn my funeral into a fashion show!

George: Stop!! just stop! I can turn it into whatever I want, I am the chosen one, and this conversation is over! I like my coat and I'm going to wear my coat and that's that.

Estelle: There you go Frank, he's the Chosen One.

George: oh boy, the Chosen One. He should of chose a sensible outfit!

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Bwee

Commie NedFlanders posted:

George: oh boy, the Chosen One. He should of chose a sensible outfit!

alnilam

Postin in the Springtime


Commie NedFlanders posted:

Neo George visits his parents

Frank Costanza: what do you need that coat for? is it raining?

George: it's not for rain, it doesn't really matter what we wear. I can get any outfit in the system.

Frank: oh so now you think you can get any suit you want? is that it? and this is what you pick?!

Estelle Constanza: Frank leave him alone, that's the style these days.

Frank: Style? What's this about style??

George: I like the way it looks

Frank: oh so my son is a fashionista now?!

Estelle: He's very fashionable

George: oh God, mom....please....

Frank: You look ridiculous. Why can't you just wear a suit a tie for God's sake?

George: No! I'm not going to wear a suit and tie. That's what he wears and I am not like him! I am anti-suit!

Estelle: He's anti-suit Frank

Frank: Anti-suit? Are you telling me you're never going to wear a suit and tie? If I drop dead tomorrow my son is going to show up at my funeral wearing those sunglasses and that coat? It's the middle of summer!

Estelle: Don't talk like that Frank, you're not going to die.

Frank: I'll die whenever I want woman!! and I'll be damned if any son of mine tries to turn my funeral into a fashion show!

George: Stop!! just stop! I can turn it into whatever I want, I am the chosen one, and this conversation is over! I like my coat and I'm going to wear my coat and that's that.

Estelle: There you go Frank, he's the Chosen One.

Frank: oh boy, the Chosen One. He should of chose a sensible outfit!


ty manifisto

Commie NedFlanders



you prissy bwtch

☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
Love God, Love Thy Neighbor
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭

joke_explainer



watching the matrix two times in one day in the background to figure out which parts would be best for Neo Costanza is a weird way to spend a wednesday

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Bwee

Security Drone posted:

watching the matrix two times in one day in the background to figure out which parts would be best for Neo Costanza is a weird way to spend a wednesday

oh god security drone forget everything bad i ever said about you i love you

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