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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I've jerked off in that bag of candy.
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Jan 25, 2015 03:04
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Wait there's actually a legit vehicle called CUC-V?!?!?! Did it have a diff name bc I woulda remembered an official DoD Cuckmobile that wasn't a GM Staff Car.
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Jan 25, 2015 09:50
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Also you are a huge human being if you don't steal visiting generals stars and vehicle plates and hats and poo poo while your in the mil. COMACC in 2007 legit thought he was losing his flight caps every few months when he visited 9th Air Force for some special monthly meetings. I was the motherfucker that planned each swiped DV plate and Admiral Flag we took. If you were a GO/FO mil officer and brought your drat pomp and circumstance with you we robbed your GOV and quarters of anything not nailed down that we figured you wouldn't miss. Name plates, covers, DV tags, Unit colors, etc. these were the most prized trophies in the squadron bar. I know not every squadron in the USAF actually had robbing GO's blind as part of their heritage or tradition, but mine did. And we took pride in our heritage and traditions. We def were the only bar with a chalkboard tallying cuck shots, and their hits and misses. Memories. I wonder if the new kinder gentler Air Force turned that bar into a heritage room and halted the sodomy and larceny fun times it's an AETC non flying non training squadron now thought so who knows. Best part of the military, right there, though. The good squadron bars.
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Jan 25, 2015 10:03
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I've only seen one squadron bar and that was at north field at Whiting and I assume sucks in comparison to actual air fields not full of fratboys.
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Jan 25, 2015 14:36
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I know people who were loving their RDCs in boot. I never really hosed a lot of mil people. Mainly stuck to civilians. I can say though that you have plenty of time with your thoughts on the fantail standing aft lookout at 3 in the morning.
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Jan 25, 2015 15:27
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OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH posted:Wait there's actually a legit vehicle called CUC-V?!?!?! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commercial_Utility_Cargo_Vehicle  Although a lot of them weren't just Dodge's, but a lot of Chevy's toward the mid-late 80's. The Army and Marines switched the last of them out during Desert Storm with a mass Leave One Get One swap for Humvees.
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Jan 25, 2015 15:30
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Nostalgia4ColdWar posted:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commercial_Utility_Cargo_Vehicle There's still a lot of these around Ft Gordon and Benning, not sure why. You see these on craigslist a lot too.
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Jan 25, 2015 15:38
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Nostalgia4ColdWar posted:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commercial_Utility_Cargo_Vehicle All of ours were the lovely Chevy K series Blazers or the Cheyenne series pick ups. Blazers had maroon/brown pleather seats, radio rack and rifle rack in the passenger side rear. Pick-ups were mostly used as shelter carriers for our RATT rigs.
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Jan 25, 2015 19:23
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Analogical posted:There's still a lot of these around Ft Gordon and Benning, not sure why. You see these on craigslist a lot too. There's also the third-gen LSSV which is basically the same thing just with a newer-model Silverado, Tahoe, or Suburban. I'm not sure how common they are but I've seen a few out there.
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Jan 25, 2015 20:12
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OMFG PTSD LOL PBUH posted:Also you are a huge human being if you don't steal visiting generals stars and vehicle plates and hats and poo poo while your in the mil. We snagged a few wing king plates on TDYs. Also other things I won't post on the internet. Protip: Don't leave important things sitting on the bench in a locker room.
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Jan 25, 2015 23:03
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Guy in our flight bragged about loving in the BX changing room at Lackland. Friend of mine got caught outside the DFAC during at Keesler, and my office was used as the hook up joint during deployment because it was at the back of the compound and everyone forgot we existed until someone blabbed about a contractor banging some Navy chick and ruined it for everyone.
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Jan 26, 2015 02:55
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This was the standard POV for all the fuckhead lifer NCO types that wore Go-fast glasses, brown T-shirt and cutoff BDU pants as everyday wear at Ft Bragg.
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Jan 26, 2015 14:43
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No one in my division got laid, but once our Chief took us over to the marching hall to practice our graduation, walked into the music booth with a female Chief that was working on becoming an RDC (Navy DS) and when he turned on the music they never came out. We stood there waiting for him to tell us what to do next for half an hour. We would have stood there longer if it wasn't for our ABE1 RDC coming over to us and asking us why we were just standing there. He walked up to the booth, waved and gave a thumbs up, coming over and marching us out to the galley to eat. Chief came back to the recruit bay with a massive smile on his face and fist bumped the ABE1. Other than that, just stories of people in ship's company or whatever they called the people that just cleaned the rest of the building loving in closets and spreading diseases. One dude spent a few days trying to pop the herpes he caught off of his dick thinking they were pimples, freaking out about his wife finding out when they would inevitably gently caress after graduation. He wrote her a letter and cried a few nights after she mailed him back about leaving him.
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Jan 28, 2015 09:36
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Nostalgia4ColdWar posted:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commercial_Utility_Cargo_Vehicle Jody Tocroach posted:This was the standard POV for all the fuckhead lifer NCO types that wore Go-fast glasses, brown T-shirt and cutoff BDU pants as everyday wear at Ft Bragg.    
new friend from school fucked around with this message at 09:58 on Feb 1, 2015 |
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Feb 1, 2015 09:38
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We zip tied a company's guidon to the division csm's parking spot sign once. Never really bothered with any pranks involving any senior e or o other than that. Did park the pizza guy's car around the building once. Had a guy run to the front of another company during a battalion run and take their guidon and run back to us and lead our company's formation with it. Other than taking poo poo from company's like mascots and poo poo we didn't do many pranks.
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Feb 1, 2015 19:37
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EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:I've jerked off in a porta shitter. And a foxhole. And a guard tower.
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Feb 2, 2015 07:20
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Master Bateman posted:And a foxhole. I think it would be easier to list the places and situations where you haven't jacked off. ex. In front of my parents In a public bathroom(not including barracks or squadbays) In my apartment's spare bedroom
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Feb 2, 2015 07:48
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My favorite IDC prank is taking a desktop screenshot and full-screening it upside down, then flipping the monitor display upside down and setting the keyboard to Dvorak. I've seen good men go mad.
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Feb 2, 2015 14:11
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I jerked off on a south west flight to orlando
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Feb 2, 2015 16:59
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beanieson posted:I jerked off on a south west flight to orlando 
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Feb 3, 2015 11:03
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beanieson posted:I jerked off on a south west flight to orlando The Marie Schraeder Special
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Feb 3, 2015 13:48
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It had to be done. I was all, "stewardess, can I get a different blanket?"
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Feb 3, 2015 14:46
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Beating off with NVGs on is pretty exciting because you have zero peripheral vision with that eye and sometimes your sweet dry jacking rhythms sound exactly like footsteps in a stairwell.
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Feb 3, 2015 17:34
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My grandpa died while I was in Basic. Found out on a Sunday morning he only had a couple days tops to live, got the Red Cross message an hour later and was on a plane home by that afternoon. Spent the whole week home and banged my girlfriend a few times. Best departing gift I've ever gotten.
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Feb 3, 2015 21:59
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I didn't even jerk off once during boot. Two weeks after we graduated we are finding out two of our boots are being separated for complaints of getting/giving a handy-j in the mess hall. During the meal. What the gently caress how I missed that I don't know...
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Feb 4, 2015 03:59
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Got a hummer in a S-280 shelter during AIT at Gordon
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Feb 4, 2015 04:22
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LingcodKilla posted:I didn't even jerk off once during boot. Same. i realized it like 5 weeks into AIT that it was May and I hadn't jerked off since January. 
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Feb 4, 2015 05:07
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I guess that's universal. I can still remember the date. It was March 13th, 2009. A Friday.
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Feb 4, 2015 05:16
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I got a rusty venture at DLI
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Feb 5, 2015 03:28
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which definition of a rusty venture? http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rusty+Venture was it this one? quote:When you take your finger and run it around a guy's rear end in a top hat while you jack the guy off into his own mouth. or this one quote:When you fist a guy then open up your hand inside his rear end and grab. Whatever you come out with you rub on his dick. or this? quote:When you take a girl out for a huge dinner but you don't let her use the restroom. Then you have anal sex with her and she poops all over your dick. So right when you're about to get off you take it out and blow poo poo-cum on her back. That's the rusty part. The venture part is where you eat that junk off her back without using your hands.
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Feb 5, 2015 03:54
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Mike-o posted:which definition of a rusty venture? Judging by DLI being a part of it, I imagine it had to be a mix of all three in an orgy while they had some tentacle porn blasting over a projector.
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Feb 5, 2015 07:54
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I still don't know wtf a DLI is.
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Feb 5, 2015 08:45
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Master Bateman posted:I still don't know wtf a DLI is. Defense Language Institute. Or some poo poo. Basically it's where all the animu nerds who joined the military go to learn Japanese* on the governments dime. *The don't usually end up learning Japanese.
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Feb 5, 2015 09:02
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MassivelyBuckNegro posted:I think it would be easier to list the places and situations where you haven't jacked off. Jesus Christ, man. Step up your game. I expect you to clean this list up by EOM*. *If your parents are dead just do it on their headstones and I'll count it.
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Feb 5, 2015 10:23
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USMC503 posted:Defense Language Institute. ftfy
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Feb 5, 2015 10:31
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Wild T posted:Jesus Christ, man. Step up your game. I expect you to clean this list up by EOM*. Yeah, who hasn't jacked it in a public bathroom? loving prudes.
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Feb 5, 2015 10:34
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Ogrel72 posted:Got a hummer in a S-280 shelter during AIT at Gordon Haha, Fort Gordon. If you've ever touched a hard surface on Fort Gordon, congratulations. There's probably a little piece of me in you.
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Feb 5, 2015 18:52
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They teach Tagalog and Spanish there? I thought it was just languages pertinent to whatever mission is being done, like Cyrillic, Arabic, and some commie languages.
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Feb 5, 2015 19:32
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Pandasmores posted:They teach Tagalog and Spanish there? I thought it was just languages pertinent to whatever mission is being done, like Cyrillic, Arabic, and some commie languages. My cousin learned Mandarin Chinese there so one can learn something useful there.
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Feb 5, 2015 20:23
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Pandasmores posted:They teach Tagalog and Spanish there? I thought it was just languages pertinent to whatever mission is being done, like Cyrillic, Arabic, and some commie languages. They teach the majors like Mandarin, Korean, Arabic+dialects, Farsi, Russian and Spanish there primarily to first termers. Second tour some people snag orders for European languages and get to sit in class with SOF in a cushier part of DLI for NCOs, who are seemingly the only ones that get sent to European languages.
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Feb 5, 2015 21:18
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