Let's figure out foolproof wishes

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Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

rbjem posted:

I wish for a silver tongue; granting the ability to persuade or convince anyone and/or everyone of anything I desire.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 16:21

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 02:13

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Whybird posted:

i wish to suck a genie's big, meaty dick

# ? Jan 24, 2015 16:26

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Vanilla Ice posted:

I wish that the genie would have to show and fully explain to me all effects (negative, positive, and neutral) for any of my subsequent wishes within the time equivalent of one of Earth's current 24 hour days in a way that will not cause any harm (physical or otherwise) to any matter in the universe and that the genie must receive my explicit agreement before these subsequent wishes are actually granted.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 16:30

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Nameless_Steve posted:

I wish that in a stable orbit at 2.0 AU from the Sun, there would be a perfect duplicate of mid Cretaceous-era planet Earth, complete with duplicate Moon.

That way, there'd be another planet nearby that Humans could colonize, and it would have dinosaurs on it.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 16:31

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jan 24, 2015 16:45

Shnag: Dec 8, 2010; "I'll be whatever I wanna do!"

I wish everyone on earth has all the necessities needed for life (food, water, shelter, human contact, etc.), so no one is starves to death or is homeless.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 16:48

Machai: Feb 21, 2013

I wish to change fundamental mathematics so that three is equal to infinity. Boom, infinite wishes.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 17:16

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Machai posted:

I wish to change fundamental mathematics so that three is equal to infinity. Boom, infinite wishes.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 17:31

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Shnag posted:

I wish everyone on earth has all the necessities needed for life (food, water, shelter, human contact, etc.), so no one is starves to death or is homeless.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 17:34

Bear Retrieval Unit: Nov 5, 2009; Mudslide Experiment

I wish all the people on earth live in total misery, unhappiness and in constant need.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 18:56

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Bear Retrieval Unit posted:

I wish all the people on earth live in total misery, unhappiness and in constant need.

so dont change anything?

# ? Jan 24, 2015 19:08

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

For my first wish I wish that whatever happens to me will also happen to the genie for eternity, and none of his genie powers or anything will prevent that.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 19:51

Gyra_Solune: Apr 24, 2014; Kyun kyun
Kyun kyun
Watashi no kare wa louse

I wish Lowtax had never made these forums

# ? Jan 24, 2015 21:32

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

I wish for a genie who won't be a jerk, particularly one who doesn't add on clauses to my wishes that I DIDNT FUCKIN ASK FOR or otherwise try to gyp me out of straightforwardly-worded wishes. And no, he can't just talk Afrikaans, or be mentally disabled, or any other dumb poo poo that would otherwise rob me of my fairly-wished-for genie. I want the blue friendly one from disney aladdin who is loyal with a voice like an angel (RIP), and who won't try to screw me over.

To the new genie, who won't gently caress with me and knows what is what. I love your voice, dawg. For my second wish, I'd like you to kill that other, rear end in a top hat shyster genie. He's a jerk.

For my final wish I wish you freeeeee fly fly freebird I will always love you.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 22:16

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Nathilus posted:

I wish for a genie who won't be a jerk, particularly one who doesn't add on clauses to my wishes that I DIDNT FUCKIN ASK FOR or otherwise try to gyp me out of straightforwardly-worded wishes. And no, he can't just talk Afrikaans, or be mentally disabled, or any other dumb poo poo that would otherwise rob me of my fairly-wished-for genie. I want the blue friendly one from disney aladdin who is loyal with a voice like an angel (RIP), and who won't try to screw me over.

To the new genie, who won't gently caress with me and knows what is what. I love your voice, dawg. For my second wish, I'd like you to kill that other, rear end in a top hat shyster genie. He's a jerk.

For my final wish I wish you freeeeee fly fly freebird I will always love you.

/thread plz

# ? Jan 24, 2015 22:33

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

Good genies can't kill. Well known rule.

# ? Jan 24, 2015 23:49

Leperflesh: May 17, 2007

I wish there was no such thing as wishes, retroactively to before the first wish was ever wished.

# ? Jan 25, 2015 04:16

Sigma_Bark: Jun 1, 2013

I wish to win a modest amount on the lottery and spend 10 bux on something worthwhile.

As well as this I wish I knew what happened to my original post... Maybe I just hosed up? :/

# ? Jan 25, 2015 04:41

Nameless_Steve: Oct 18, 2010; "There are fair questions about shooting non-lethally at retreating civilian combatants."

Smash it Smash hit posted:

Meh, I'm still happy.

# ? Jan 25, 2015 06:01

Korthal: May 26, 2011

I wish the simpsons were never cancelled in 1996. Think of all the good years that show had ahead of itself...

# ? Jan 25, 2015 06:21

Ex-Priest Tobin: May 25, 2014; by Reene

i wish anime and manga were to cease to exist

# ? Jan 25, 2015 11:39

Ahundredbux: Oct 25, 2007; The right to bear arms

I want the zone to disappear

# ? Jan 25, 2015 12:23

Pththya-lyi: Nov 8, 2009; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

I wish that Jesus would come back today and usher in the golden age of justice and peace and happiness

# ? Jan 25, 2015 14:11

Shnag: Dec 8, 2010; "I'll be whatever I wanna do!"

Smash it Smash hit posted:

I thought people would all still have AIDs and are still having sex per my first wish. Unless, they are both loving and loving each other. Hmm... still not sure if things are overall worse with my wishes.

# ? Jan 25, 2015 14:44

Gridlocked: Aug 2, 2014; MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves

I wish I never had to wash my pants.

Ever.

Eveeeeeeeeer.

# ? Jan 25, 2015 14:53

Missing Name: Jan 5, 2013

Ahundredbux posted:

I want the Zone to disappear

Uh, this can only end well.

# ? Jan 25, 2015 14:53

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

won't probably be able to enact wishes til Monday, genie needs his weekend to chillax

# ? Jan 25, 2015 17:11

Emmideer: Oct 20, 2011; Lovely night, no?; Grimey Drawer

I wish that, by thinking about it for no more than 10 seconds, I could figure out the exact wording, in a language I understand, of the foolproof version of any wish.

# ? Jan 25, 2015 17:17

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

I wish for 10 more genies

Zulily Zoetrope fucked around with this message at 23:56 on Jan 25, 2015

# ? Jan 25, 2015 17:31

Quellar: Dec 21, 2007; quit staring at me

I want to live forever.

# ? Jan 25, 2015 20:33

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

has anyone wished for mmore wishes yet

# ? Jan 25, 2015 20:53

Waltzing Along: Jun 14, 2008; There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here

I wish someone would give the genie a hug.

# ? Jan 25, 2015 23:23

Tumblr of scotch: Mar 13, 2006; Please, don't be my neighbor.

I wish

# ? Jan 26, 2015 00:19

PixieDreamGirl: Apr 29, 2014; 2014; The year I whored myself out for title changes.

Yo, I don't care what y'all do,how y'all do or where y'all do it, just keep it gangsta and never pay for an av change, have someone else do it- Ya boy Pixie

Ex-Priest Tobin posted:

i wish anime and manga were to cease to exist

This, but that would mean that western animation would still exist.

# ? Jan 26, 2015 00:21

Nathilus: Apr 4, 2002; I alone can see through the media bias.

I'm also stupid on a scale that can only be measured in Reddits.

Waltzing Along posted:

I wish someone would give the genie a hug.

genie is dead. I wished it so. :smug:

and the genie that did that is now free. same reason. :smug:

# ? Jan 26, 2015 01:01

InequalityGodzilla: May 31, 2012

Ahundredbux posted:

I want the zone to disappear

Enjoy your permanent blindness.

# ? Jan 26, 2015 11:02

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Nathilus posted:

I wish for a genie who won't be a jerk, particularly one who doesn't add on clauses to my wishes that I DIDNT FUCKIN ASK FOR or otherwise try to gyp me out of straightforwardly-worded wishes. And no, he can't just talk Afrikaans, or be mentally disabled, or any other dumb poo poo that would otherwise rob me of my fairly-wished-for genie. I want the blue friendly one from disney aladdin who is loyal with a voice like an angel (RIP), and who won't try to screw me over.

To the new genie, who won't gently caress with me and knows what is what. I love your voice, dawg. For my second wish, I'd like you to kill that other, rear end in a top hat shyster genie. He's a jerk.

For my final wish I wish you freeeeee fly fly freebird I will always love you.

# ? Jan 26, 2015 14:17

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Ex-Priest Tobin posted:

i wish anime and manga were to cease to exist

# ? Jan 26, 2015 14:24

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Leperflesh posted:

I wish there was no such thing as wishes, retroactively to before the first wish was ever wished.

# ? Jan 26, 2015 14:29

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 02:13

Smash it Smash hit: Dec 30, 2009; prettay, prettay

Sigma_Bark posted:

I wish to win a modest amount on the lottery and spend 10 bux on something worthwhile.

As well as this I wish I knew what happened to my original post... Maybe I just hosed up? :/

# ? Jan 26, 2015 14:32

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's figure out foolproof wishes

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