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GEORGE W BUSHI
Jul 1, 2012

hire Kevin Nash

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Snacksmaniac
Jan 12, 2008

Sebastian Vettel posted:

hire Kevin Nash

Oh god yes.

Senerio
Oct 19, 2009

Roëmænce is ælive!

Sebastian Vettel posted:

hire Kevin Nash

Also Ibushi and let's start building up our Women's division too, sign all the independent women wrestlers with reasonable overness.

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


Sebastian Vettel posted:

hire Kevin Nash

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs
have we signed uhaa nation yet to dominate the midcard on his way to becoming the first african american undisputed champion and hero to millions

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice

Sebastian Vettel posted:

hire Kevin Nash

Put him on commentary and pay him in alcohol, he'll fix that problem with the booth.

zetamind2000
Nov 6, 2007

I'm an alien.

Senerio posted:

Also Ibushi and let's start building up our Women's division too, sign all the independent women wrestlers with reasonable overness.

Also put a dress on Kevin Nash and make the champion of our Women's division.

Wiccan Wasteland
Oct 15, 2012
Hire
AJ Styles
Nakamura

Investigate
Bruce Thorpe-desu
Noam Dar
Uhaa Nation
Brian Cage
Big Daddy Yum Yum

schweens
Jan 14, 2011

kakarot ain't got shit on me
Hire:
Nakamura
Styles
Bully Ray(his promo ability will make him super useful)

Investigate:
Ricochet
Elgin
Uhaa Nation

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

Hire:
Nakamura
AJ Styles
Bully Ray
Kevin Nash

Investigate:
Bruce Tharpe
Big Daddy Yum Yum
Chris Hero's weight gain

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs
I'm not sure Nakamura can acclimate to the WWE style and retain his charisma and swag. AJ Styles would be perfect though. The TNAMecca posts :allears:

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
Investigate Chris Sabin.

He's a solid and we can probably get him for hot sandwiches and a six pack of beer.

I also demand your finest Jimmy Jacobs, sir.

Writer Cath fucked around with this message at 22:07 on Jan 24, 2015

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

Hire:
AJ Styles
Kota Ibushi
Shinsuke Nakamura
Harry Smith

Investigate:
Uhaa Nation
Alex Shelley
Chris Sabin
Ricochet
Brian Cage
Roderick Strong

I Before E fucked around with this message at 21:51 on Jan 24, 2015

StupidSexyMothman
Aug 9, 2010

Sign AJ.

Investigate reDRagon.

Ignore NJPW guys; there are more than enough workers we can sign to be jobbers that don't have far superior offers with other promotions that will affect their availability. Plus IIRC none of those 3 options speak English so if they're ever going to go anywhere above the lowest rung they'll need to play manager roulette to find someone with chemistry and that's a huge pain in the rear end.

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs

oldskool posted:

Sign AJ.

Investigate reDRagon.

Ignore NJPW guys; there are more than enough workers we can sign to be jobbers that don't have far superior offers with other promotions that will affect their availability. Plus IIRC none of those 3 options speak English so if they're ever going to go anywhere above the lowest rung they'll need to play manager roulette to find someone with chemistry and that's a huge pain in the rear end.

Iirc they all speak English passably but would probably not get over with the crowds because of difficulty understanding

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Ibushi speaks basic English but Nakamura and the other guy do not.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

We have sent written contracts to AJ Styles, Kevin Nash and Nakamura. We have the option of rescinding any of them if we want to go a different way.

William Regal posted:

I've traveled the world to scout talent for the company and these are my short notes on the wrestlers that the board asked to investigate:

Chris Sabin – 31 years young. Good psychology and decent technical and performance skills, decent camera skills. Probably a limited ceiling.

Uhaa Nation – Very young and barely known. Average in-ring and physical stats but strong camera skills. Looks like a good long-term prospect but he’s refusing to sign a
development deal, which could mean that he’s aged out of his greatest growth period. His personality indicates that he will be easy to deal with and an asset in the locker room.

Bruce Tharp – Terrible stats, 60 years old and has apparently never been seen by anyone before.

Chris Hero’s Weight Gain – Listed as a middleweight – highly suspect.

Ricochet – Young, no real weaknesses to speak of, strong camera and performance skills, which is key. A good prospect if Vince’s Raging Id doesn’t decide we shouldn’t hire cruiserweight-style wrestlers (this applies to several people on this list).

Michael Elgin – An all-around strong worker and elite-tier brawler, good camera and entertainment skills, but his character work is limited.

Noam Dar – Very young, completely unknown in the States, but strong in skills across the board. Because it's a no-brainer, we’ve offered him to a developmental contract and if he accepts he will report to NXT.

Brian Cage – A good brawler with very strong physical stats, however his camera stats leave much to be desired (having recently watched Lucha Underground, this is accurate). He is open to signing a developmental deal, though he is 31.

Big Daddy Yum Yum – He sucks.

Jimmy Jacobs – An all-around strong worker with good charisma and mic skills. Not super popular.

Bob Sapp – 40 years old, awful physical and performance stats, moderately known in the US, the right skills to make a good colour commentator, but he has no interest in doing anything out of the ring. In the interests of shits and giggles, we can brute-force him into considering colour commentating for a one-time $10,000 fee.

Chuck Taylor - A great high flyer with fantastic entertainment skills, only lacking in brawling skills. A pretty good long-term prospect. Open to a developmental deal.

Kenny Omega – Has a written deal with NJPW and cannot be signed.

Game lore: I hacked in PPA deals for Ricochet and Brian Cage at the beginning of the game, with the notion that the RAW swerve would entail a one-episode Lucha Underground invasion, but their low popularity and the fact that we have so many permanent roster workers to put on TV took them out of the running. If we decide not to hire one or both of them, their contracts will be cancelled with no detriment to us.

I Before E
Jul 2, 2012

If we sign Ibushi or Nakamura it might be smart to put them in NXT or something for a while to help hone their English

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
Night of the Living Cruiserweights!

Nakamura, Ricochet, Sabin, Chuckie T.

Writer Cath fucked around with this message at 23:50 on Jan 24, 2015

NutritiousSnack
Jul 12, 2011

I Before E posted:

If we sign Ibushi or Nakamura it might be smart to put them in NXT or something for a while to help hone their English

Yep

Sign Ricochet and Uhaa Nation

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Are The Young Bucks not an option or do they just not want to come to WWE?

If you can get them and reDragon on board it could instantly inject life into a stagnant tag division.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Our starting roster with current momentum details has been added to the OP.

Our currently out-of-action talent and their expected time away includes: Bo Dallas (41 days), Chris Jericho (41 days), Daniel Bryan (13 days), David Otunga (2 months and 3 weeks), Heath Slater (55 days), Rey Mysterio (2 months, 1 week), Rob Van Dam (3 months, 3 weeks), Roman Reigns (41 days), Tamina Snuka (3 months, 3 weeks), The Undertaker (7 months, 1 week), Zack Ryder (5 months, 3 weeks).

We have the option of pulling the trigger on elective surgery for Zack Ryder and / or Tamina Snuka, both carry medium risk.

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
Commence the operations to merge them into a single being.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Basic Chunnel posted:

Our starting roster with current momentum details has been added to the OP.

Our currently out-of-action talent and their expected time away includes: Bo Dallas (41 days), Chris Jericho (41 days), Daniel Bryan (13 days), David Otunga (2 months and 3 weeks), Heath Slater (55 days), Rey Mysterio (2 months, 1 week), Rob Van Dam (3 months, 3 weeks), Roman Reigns (41 days), Tamina Snuka (3 months, 3 weeks), The Undertaker (7 months, 1 week), Zack Ryder (5 months, 3 weeks).

We have the option of pulling the trigger on elective surgery for Zack Ryder and / or Tamina Snuka, both carry medium risk.

I legit forgot that Tamina was still employed. Might as well give her the surgery if she's sticking around.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Tamina's surgery has been deemed a complete success and her recovery time has been knocked down to 2 months, 1 week.

*e - Zack Ryder's surgery was also successful and he should be back in 3 months, 2 weeks (if he's still employed)

Basic Chunnel fucked around with this message at 00:17 on Jan 25, 2015

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

I Before E posted:

If we sign Ibushi or Nakamura it might be smart to put them in NXT or something for a while to help hone their English
It's unclear to me whether talent builds their language ability by just being signed in a place with one they don't speak, or by being used. If the latter, we wouldn't necessarily want to put them in NXT because we don't know how often they will be used. The most surefire method is to use them in dark matches, where their temporary shortcomings won't affect the show.

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs
Let the speak the language of their people: Strong Style

TheOneTrueKing
Apr 3, 2010
If you book Nakamura consistently then he should eventually get beyond the language barrier. Just performing helps him, but that means any segments that he is in on live television will be affected in by his language barrier.

Grozz Nuy
Feb 21, 2008

Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.
Since we don't have to vote on Noam Dar, I vote we sign Ricochet and Chuckie T since it looks like the game considers them the best prospects for our purposes. We don't want to go TOO overboard with hires for now.

TheOneTrueKing
Apr 3, 2010
Definitely hire Chuck Taylor and make sure his moveset's only finisher is The Invisible Hand Grenade. Push him to the moon. /thread.

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Benne posted:

Are The Young Bucks not an option or do they just not want to come to WWE?
Vince was shown a picture of the Young Bucks and he spontaneously ripped a phone book in half. The Bucks are a no go. I'll look into reDragon, though. Our tag division is definitely in need, as we'll discuss.

NotQuiteQuentin
Jan 29, 2005

BIG OVER
College Slice

Basic Chunnel posted:

Vince was shown a picture of the Young Bucks and he spontaneously ripped a phone book in half. The Bucks are a no go. I'll look into reDragon, though. Our tag division is definitely in need, as we'll discuss.

Would it be worth it to take a look at T-Hawk and Eita? They are incredibly young/would be unknown/Japanese, but you could probably sock them away in NXT for a few years and they could really bolster the division.

Grozz Nuy
Feb 21, 2008

Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.
I love the Bucks as much as any self-respecting indie geek, but the WWE style would basically neuter everything they do well and turn them into a heel version of the Usos. They'd get to do maybe one of their big spots per PPV match, if that. reDRagon would be a much better fit, but Kyle's not very good on the mic and Fish is getting up there in age so as much as I love them I'm not sure if they'd be particularly good prospects for WWE either.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
Does Total Divas exist in this universe? I'd like to make an effortpost about legitimizing the Divas division, but I need to know the answer to that because my Steps 1 and 2 are basically "Fire Cameron/Eva/Rosa into the sun" and "dump the Total Divas/Raw crossover angles."

Basic Chunnel
Sep 21, 2010

Jesus! Jesus Christ! Say his name! Jesus! Jesus! Come down now!

Total Divas does not exist and neither does the Network. But we are hard-up for female workers right now

NowonSA
Jul 19, 2013

I am the sexiest poster in the world!
No network means we aren't slowly killing our own company, so that's something.

Hire Prince Puma, AKA Ricochet, for sure. Hopefully we can get some matches between him and Sami Zayne/Adrian Neville down the line. I bet he can fly like 20 feet into the air to take a swiss death too.

TheOneTrueKing
Apr 3, 2010

Basic Chunnel posted:

Total Divas does not exist and neither does the Network. But we are hard-up for female workers right now

Hire Gail Kim, turn Sara Del Rey into a wrestler instead of a trainer.

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.

Basic Chunnel posted:

Total Divas does not exist and neither does the Network. But we are hard-up for female workers right now

Comedy option: Hire Daffney and give Kevin Dunn a Suicide Girls catalog and the company credit card for her to manage.

Real option: Does SHIMMER/SHINE/whatever exist in this universe? Can we raid them for some talent?

Oh yeah, dumpster that butterfly belt and go get a real belt out of Madusa's garbage can.

Luigi Thirty fucked around with this message at 03:47 on Jan 25, 2015

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

Basic Chunnel posted:

Total Divas does not exist and neither does the Network. But we are hard-up for female workers right now

Alright, then.

WWE women's wrestling is in arguably the biggest rut of its history. A division that once gave us the memorable Trish/Lita rivalry and let Chyna pal around with the boys as an equal is now reduced to a joke, a "bathroom break" between the more important men's matches. It shouldn't have to be this way, though -- while WWE has always catered to the young male demographic, alienating half of the population is, as one of our board members might say, not best for business.

We can and should have female superstars with the kind of star power that keeps hardcore fans hooked while drawing the casual fans' interest. Fortunately, some of those stars already exist in-house. AJ Lee is the most popular female star on the roster, while Paige is an extremely talented up-and-comer who's been hampered by poor booking in recent months. You also have Natalya, Naomi and the Bella twins as inconsistent but reliable midcarders. And if you're looking for a diamond in the rough, there's a certain Aussie lady who's paid enough dues for a certain incident and deserves another chance.

If you're trying to find a way to book these women that makes fans take them seriously after years of Divas shenanigans, look no further than your own development system. NXT gets a lot of things right, but their treatment of the women's division deserves particular accolades. By taking their feuds seriously and giving them ample time on TV, the NXT women have produced multiple Match of the Night candidates and built up fan favorites like Charlotte, Sasha Banks and Bayley.

Having said that, there is a bit of a looming problem with the NXT women. By having the aforementioned three and Becky Lynch engaged in more or less the same storylines, NXT runs the risk of making things stale. An infusion of young talent on TV, whether it be from the indies or temporary appearances from the likes of Naomi, would do wonders for the product. You have the opportunity to build fresh feuds and matches, call up main-roster-ready women like Charlotte and Banks, and still maintain the high quality on NXT that fans have come to expect.

Speaking of the main roster, it's time to cut the chaff. Cameron, Eva Marie and Rosa Mendes have long since hit their ceilings, and that ceiling is "barely watchable." While they might have been semi-useful if we were to ever launch a cable reality show, they are an anchor dragging the entire Divas roster down. Wish them well in their future endeavors, push the women with more upside, and you should see a noticeable improvement.

As a side note, I propose we retire the Divas butterfly belt and bring back the WWE Women's Championship. If we want fans to take women's wrestling seriously, we have to take it seriously ourselves.

There is a steep uphill climb towards legitimizing the Divas division in the eyes of the core viewers while drawing in new potential viewers. However, we have the resources and talent to make it happen. The only question is whether we want to make it happen. It's 2015 and women have spending power. Pull the trigger and open up a new demographic.

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Parasara
Sep 17, 2014

Next time I see that woman, I'm shooting her, and not in the knee.
My two cents on ladies wrestling: What Benne said, but make sure to bring up several good wrestlers together. Feeding good wrestlers one by one into the terrible meatgrinder of the division is a good way to waste them. Maybe some form of invasion angle?

Also, how does the game map things like MMA? Could we make a play, for example, for big female MMA stars?

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