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Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
Had to borrow this thread from the next unit over, so don't gently caress it up too badly, we gotta give this poo poo back.

Fucitol posted:

gently caress you if you're still in.

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Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Fucitol
May 8, 2005

Ceterum autem censeo mundum esse delendam



Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris
cool

and good

Whipped Buttcheeks
Jul 25, 2007
Chairborne Ranger
Wars are over. Drowning in power points and garrison SOPs. Creased ACUs everywhere I look. Retirement...so...far...away. Whatever, let's run this bitch into the ground.

bird food bathtub
Aug 9, 2003

College Slice

The gently caress? Holy hell did I ever join and leave at the best possible times. Wasn't half the idea behind ACUs trying to have a uniform you didn't have to do any of that poo poo with? The other half being to contract it out to someone's friend I'm sure.

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer

Fucitol posted:

gently caress you if you're still in.

psydude
Apr 1, 2008

Heartache is powerful, but democracy is *subtle*.

Spicy Guacamole posted:

Had to borrow this thread from the next unit over, so don't gently caress it up too badly, we gotta give this poo poo back.

gently caress this. We're doing a controlled exchange on our deadlined posts, annotating it on a manual dispatch, and not sending it in on the rollup until after they rotate back.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

I'm combat lossing this month's thread.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
Less gay army words and more stories of the tokari midget.

its curtains for Kevin
Nov 14, 2011

Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless
why did I volunteer for AT AND the extra mission we're doing over the summer :suicide:

Icon Of Sin
Dec 26, 2008



NTT posted:

why did I volunteer for AT AND the extra mission we're doing over the summer :suicide:

drat son, you hosed up good.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

NTT posted:

why did I volunteer for AT AND the extra mission we're doing over the summer :suicide:

because you're retarded

next question

McSpatula
Aug 5, 2006

NTT posted:

why did I volunteer for AT AND the extra mission we're doing over the summer :suicide:

Volunteer to do SSD1 too while you're being dumb as gently caress.

Justin Tyme
Feb 22, 2011


accidentally did a spendex with all our threads for FY2015, gotta post in the Marines thread till we get more

tyler
Jun 2, 2014

Fucitol posted:

gently caress you if you're still in.

Ptolemaeus
Jan 17, 2009
Four more months, please let me make it through these last four months. I keep getting emails about my fafsa being accepted and pictures from my university, meanwhile I am sitting at staff duty staring at the wall.

Dream Weaver
Jan 23, 2007
Sweat Baby, sweat baby

Ptolemaeus posted:

Four more months, please let me make it through these last four months. I keep getting emails about my fafsa being accepted and pictures from my university, meanwhile I am sitting at staff duty staring at the wall.

You can do it! (Nope)

TPSDude
Apr 7, 2011

Tank Goon
B's cleared with no charges, 214 tommorow and I'm still a corporal.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

TPSDude posted:

B's cleared with no charges, 214 tommorow and I'm still a corporal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUg-FpnweRM

Woof Blitzer
Dec 29, 2012

[-]

TPSDude posted:

B's cleared with no charges, 214 tommorow and I'm still a corporal.

Thug life

Red87
Jun 3, 2008

The UNE will prevail.
This kind of owns.

Zeris
Apr 15, 2003

Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

Red87 posted:

This kind of owns.

The "Jumper's Hit It" tramp stamp with typo-apostrophe is money.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

TPSDude posted:

B's cleared with no charges, 214 tommorow and I'm still a corporal.

they could have put me out as a loving e-1 and it would've been fine with me.

but i got med-boarded.

funny thing about med boards is you get retired out at your highest attained rank. it's like a free article 15.

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D
http://www.fortcampbellcourier.com/news/article_68390840-a800-11e4-9dae-57aa3e08ac7b.html

This was one of my soldiers in 2012. We called him Nutsack for some reason. I remember one of the team leaders making him do pushups in a puddle once.

Kinda cool that I know the guy.

Fucitol
May 8, 2005

Ceterum autem censeo mundum esse delendam



Memento, homo, quia pulvis es, et in pulverem reverteris
lol that you were given responsibility over anyone.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
How tiny was this guy, isn't fly weight like 110 pounds max?

Cole
Nov 24, 2004

DUNSON'D

not caring here posted:

How tiny was this guy, isn't fly weight like 110 pounds max?

he was one of the smallest dudes in my company. there were a few others who were comparable.

i was a pretty good soldier until i just went crazy somewhere towards the end of 2012.

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
Being the army king of flyweight combatives must be fuckin' terrible when that 220 pound meat head gets you and rape strangles you during combatives PT.

psydude
Apr 1, 2008

Heartache is powerful, but democracy is *subtle*.
For some reason my HRC profile is saying that my service obligation ends in November of this year. Best news I've received all week.

Gooble Gobble
May 2, 2011

One of us
My section SGM is trying to get rid of me because he doesn't like the length of my hair.

Zip
Mar 19, 2006

I need to share this with someone.

I was on facebook yesterday (ya.ya.) and a friend of mine is talking about going to school to be a nurse. In the middle of the thread, Bob arrives and has this to say, "Be realistic one in ten are going to die on you anyways. Oops poo poo does happen....thats the military's viewpoint by the way. Do you realize how many soldiers die in the field because we knew they wouldn't make it back to M.A.S.H. unit, from their injuries....we would give them as much as 3-5 10 gr morphine contact injectors (they pass inside of two minutes) eyes wide open when one is taught field triage you learn fast how to make the call no one wants to."

I replied with, "tell me more about how you should be realistic and that one in ten are going to die on you anyways, Bob?"

Bob comes back with, "Have you been a combat medic, Steve...that was implied as a joke to the 90% passing score.I was once a search & rescue specialistfor the U.S.C.G., what YOU see on TV is censured for ur viewing....you see what I've seen on rescue details tho. You develop a strong & a callous attitude, you don't get much choice....the job had to be done tho. Someone gotta do it. "

:cawg:

Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer
accuse him of stolen valor next

Nostalgia4ColdWar
May 7, 2007

Good people deserve good things.

Till someone lets the winter in and the dying begins, because Old Dark Places attract Old Dark Things.
Break his arm and give him Motrin.

You know in your heart that it's the only answer.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

:nallears:

Zip
Mar 19, 2006

Also his morphine overdose story.... that's Saving Private Ryan isn't it?

What the hell coast guard?

UP THE BUM NO BABY
Sep 1, 2011

by Hand Knit

Zip posted:

I need to share this with someone.

I was on facebook yesterday (ya.ya.) and a friend of mine is talking about going to school to be a nurse. In the middle of the thread, Bob arrives and has this to say, "Be realistic one in ten are going to die on you anyways. Oops poo poo does happen....thats the military's viewpoint by the way. Do you realize how many soldiers die in the field because we knew they wouldn't make it back to M.A.S.H. unit, from their injuries....we would give them as much as 3-5 10 gr morphine contact injectors (they pass inside of two minutes) eyes wide open when one is taught field triage you learn fast how to make the call no one wants to."

I replied with, "tell me more about how you should be realistic and that one in ten are going to die on you anyways, Bob?"

Bob comes back with, "Have you been a combat medic, Steve...that was implied as a joke to the 90% passing score.I was once a search & rescue specialistfor the U.S.C.G., what YOU see on TV is censured for ur viewing....you see what I've seen on rescue details tho. You develop a strong & a callous attitude, you don't get much choice....the job had to be done tho. Someone gotta do it. "

:cawg:


gently caress I want some morphine... someone hurt me in the field please

Zip
Mar 19, 2006

My reply: No I've been airborne infantry for the 82nd airborne. I've worked alongside some drat fine combat medics.

Bob: I did not insult the medics that were assigned with your screaming eagles unit....all what I was implying is that the "six minute rule" to surviving an incident can sometimes be an eternity & other times can go like a flash, because of being shot at.....the work conditions are crude at best, compare to being at a unit hospital away from the front. I was an engineer that aided in delivering a newborn at sea with a C.P.O. corpsman.....that was not part of my designated training. Received a basic course (3wk) of combat/emergency first responder training....was also told this being given to you just in case (probably won't have to use it) less than 3 mos. later helped delivered a baby in the rolling north Atlantic on deck.

Also my buddy who is a navy corpsman had this to say: "That is loving bullshit. 1. There is no 90% rule on anything in triage. 2. I've never been combat ops but Corpsman all talk when we drink regardless of combat status. 3 Coasties don't run combat ops overseas that's why they git moved out of DOD and into DHS. 4 there is an Sop for a blast radius on an IED and anyone inside of that radius morphine isn't given because even with a good amount of internal bleeding if casevac arrives in time there is still a chance. 5 please have this ego stroking fuckwit explain what the gently caress a pregnant woman was doing on a loving boat in the middle of the Atlantic so that this dumb rear end could deliver a baby on a "rolling deck" why the gently caress were they on the deck? There is at least done medical space on every boat that goes out to sea? Holly poo poo that was stupid..."

Then he added, ""Maybe he got some of his info from watching scubs and apocalypse now on acid and it just became a memory."

Zip
Mar 19, 2006

Sorry for the walls of text btw.

Nostalgia4ColdWar
May 7, 2007

Good people deserve good things.

Till someone lets the winter in and the dying begins, because Old Dark Places attract Old Dark Things.
Asked my wife, who was a 91A from 1990 to 1997 about that poo poo. She just laughed about it and said he was full of poo poo.

Then her hair turned into snakes and she chased me through the frontroom breathing fire.

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Mike-o
Dec 25, 2004

Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed


Grimey Drawer
What's it like being married to Medusa?

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