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Books are great for reading, but have you ever considered other uses? This is where the hardcover really has the advantage over the digital copy. You wouldn't want to throw your laptop/iPad/phone at your partners head.
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Feb 20, 2015 09:51
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Depends on the phone to be perfectly honest.. a sh*tty old Nokia, heck yes I'm gonna throw that and not my priceless hardcover...
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Feb 20, 2015 11:25
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They can make good conversation pieces. Like, you can hit someone over the head with a big fat book and then have a conversation about why you just did that.
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Feb 20, 2015 12:35
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It's the real reason why War and Peace is a classic.
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Feb 20, 2015 12:41
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What's your favourite title for bookular homicide, Book Barn? Mine's Infinite Jest
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Feb 20, 2015 13:16
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Yeah, a phone is going to be a superior missile weapon. I've thrown hardbacks in anger before they tend to flop open in flight and lose velocity. Phones make a great flung missile -- small, dense, compact, and they tend to hit on a point or edge. ON the other hand, if you want to smash a bug, it's hard to beat the classic telephone book (if you still get a telephone book).
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Feb 20, 2015 16:31
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I like to go out with my friends and randomly beat people with copies of a clockwork orange. If they get the irony then we give them a wink and a thumbs up and we're on our way, but if not then we start beating them with copies of great expectations (not to make a literary statement, but just for fun).
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Feb 20, 2015 17:27
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Recommending books to people by throwing at them is very underappreciated.
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Feb 20, 2015 17:58
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i always jizz on my books first and stare at the image created by the semen trying to see what is it telling to me with the form it's taken intertwined with the book's cover forming something like your own reflection in a fast-moving river
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Feb 20, 2015 18:47
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youre wife posted:Books are great for reading, but have you ever considered other uses? This is where the hardcover really has the advantage over the digital copy. You wouldn't want to throw your laptop/iPad/phone at your partners head. in one of John LeCarre's most recent novels someone does exactly that, knocks a dude out with a laptop to the back of the head. it worked and LeCarre's novels are known for realism I guess so its probably doable, though he did not say whether the laptop still functioned afterwards.
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Feb 20, 2015 19:17
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But on the other hand: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLt7lXDCHQ0&t=115s
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Feb 20, 2015 19:20
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OP did you know you can even put a comic book or baseball card inside a hardcover book and put it under a couch leg to flatten it back out? Try that with your kindle
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Feb 20, 2015 20:03
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Maybe the sorely lacking ballistic properties of books could be improved if some kind of table-sized catapult entered the equation...
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Feb 20, 2015 20:29
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Fun book-throwing fact: If you toss Gravity's Rainbow really high up in the air over a crowd of people it will come down on the nearest guy with a boner. Do not attempt if you yourself have a boner.
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Feb 20, 2015 20:37
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Burning Rain posted:i always jizz on my books first and stare at the image created by the semen trying to see what is it telling to me with the form it's taken intertwined with the book's cover forming something like your own reflection in a fast-moving river Hmmm... Yes. This may be a good way to determined if a book is worth the time before reading. Similar to tea leaves
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Feb 20, 2015 21:15
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war and peace a p obv candidate then there's the BOOK OF RAGE  I don't know if that counts though because 1) It's fictional (note: not fiction) 2) there was that one episode where the kids looked inside it and all the pages were blank and they were like whaaaaaaaaaat
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Feb 20, 2015 21:25
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Do you prefer throwing large print or small print books? I mostly throw large print when I want to show off, but small print is nice because of its density.
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Feb 20, 2015 22:07
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paperbacks are good for slappin
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Feb 20, 2015 22:22
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For a real finesse kill you will want to go with microfiche to the jugular. You can use a microfiche on shurikan if you're a weeaboo but if your blood is red and American you'll want to use a microfiche of this for true home of the brave irony
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Feb 20, 2015 22:23
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My go-to has always been the Oxford English Dictionary.
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Feb 21, 2015 00:03
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Do you ever hit people with like an english/spanish dictionary and yell out something funny like "bofetada"?
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Feb 21, 2015 01:24
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xsuperkidx posted:Do you ever hit people with like an english/spanish dictionary and yell out something funny like "bofetada"? All the time, my man! All the g*d dang time. Never gets old.
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Feb 21, 2015 01:40
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Hieronymous Alloy posted:Yeah, a phone is going to be a superior missile weapon. I've thrown hardbacks in anger before they tend to flop open in flight and lose velocity. Phones make a great flung missile -- small, dense, compact, and they tend to hit on a point or edge. This is why you get the best of both worlds and throw a Kindle at someone.
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Feb 21, 2015 02:56
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Panniculus Rift posted:paperbacks are good for slappin You're gonna need to use a lot of force to do any damage with a paperback. I dropped a whole shelf of Nora Roberts books onto an old lady while I was trying to straighten them, and she wasn't hurt at all. I bet you could lay a whipping on someone with a board book. Those things are designed to survive being bitten by toddlers.
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Feb 21, 2015 04:11
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with a v thin paperback u can do the android kill from alien where u roll it up and try to push it down their throat
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Feb 21, 2015 04:47
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ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:My go-to has always been the Oxford English Dictionary. If the first volume fails to knock out or kill the intended victim, rest assured there's another 19 hefty volumes at your disposal.
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Feb 21, 2015 09:38
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So that's why dictionaries are currency in prison
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Feb 21, 2015 10:23
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Octy posted:If the first volume fails to knock out or kill the intended victim, rest assured there's another 19 hefty volumes at your disposal. Exactly 
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Feb 21, 2015 12:55
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I use The Sword of Shannara, because a sword is way more effective than a book.
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Feb 21, 2015 14:31
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