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Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010


We've all got them: Peeves. Things that bother, distract, and/or annoy us. At some point, certain things peeve us so much more than normal that they become "pet peeves" and subsequently define who we are.

I'll start:
1. People who zealously stick to the speed limit while driving. Yes, I realize you're following the posted limit and probably feel very holier-than-thou, but let's be honest: Those speeds are created with the lowest common denominator in mind. We're talking about people who are basically high-functioning retards with the coordination/reaction speed of a Lima bean. It's probably not going to kill you to go as fast as other traffic.

2. Slow/oblivious walkers: For some reason, these people especially love to walk in wide lines, blocking the flow of foot traffic wherever they go, and stick to the middle of the walkway, rather than one side or the other.

3. People who try to take pictures of your poo poo without your permission. Here's a great idea: If I leave without flushing it, then you can take a picture of it. But leave me alone otherwise.

4. People who feel obligated to tell you how using Q-Tips in your ears is a bad thing every single time they see you using one. Dude, I've heard it a million times. But look, when I rub the inside of my dog's ear, he lets out a heavy sigh and looks like he's completely in heaven. That's the same reason I jam these Q-Tips into my own ear: Because it feels goddamned good.

Anyway, share your favorite (or least favorite???) pet peeves here.

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Tiggum
Oct 23, 2007


Cream-of-Plenty posted:

People who zealously stick to the speed limit while driving. Yes, I realize you're following the posted limit and probably feel very holier-than-thou, but let's be honest: Those speeds are created with the lowest common denominator in mind. We're talking about people who are basically high-functioning retards with the coordination/reaction speed of a Lima bean. It's probably not going to kill you to go as fast as other traffic.

People who don't follow the road rules. You think you're a good driver and maybe you are, but let's face it, you're probably not, and it saves you approximately three seconds to break that rule, so gently caress you. Follow the god drat rules, you wanker.

Also, drivers who stop to let you cross the road in front of them. If you'd just kept driving, I would have just crossed behind you, but because you stopped I had to stop because you were suddenly behaving erratically and I don't want to get run over. Now you've slowed us both down. Oh, and I'm supposed to be grateful for this? No.

Cyclists on the footpath. I realise that it's dangerous for you on the road, but the solution to that is not for you to pass the danger on to pedestrians. If you feel it's unsafe to ride a bike on the road here, get off the loving bike.

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010


Tiggum posted:

People who don't follow the road rules. You think you're a good driver and maybe you are, but let's face it, you're probably not, and it saves you approximately three seconds to break that rule, so gently caress you. Follow the god drat rules, you wanker.

Also, drivers who stop to let you cross the road in front of them. If you'd just kept driving, I would have just crossed behind you, but because you stopped I had to stop because you were suddenly behaving erratically and I don't want to get run over. Now you've slowed us both down. Oh, and I'm supposed to be grateful for this? No.

Cyclists on the footpath. I realise that it's dangerous for you on the road, but the solution to that is not for you to pass the danger on to pedestrians. If you feel it's unsafe to ride a bike on the road here, get off the loving bike.

If it were up to me, we'd outlaw bikes because they're complete poo poo in either situation.

Tiggum
Oct 23, 2007


Cream-of-Plenty posted:

If it were up to me, we'd outlaw bikes because they're complete poo poo in either situation.

If it were up to me, we'd outlaw all forms of personal transport and replace them with a public transport system that was actually good enough for everyone to use all the time.

Good soup!
Nov 1, 2010







Lipstick Apathy

Unironic use of "samesies."

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010


Awesome Welles posted:

Unironic use of "samesies."

Oh man. Pronouncing "height" as "heighth" (with a "th" ending); "irregardless".

Celery Face
Feb 18, 2012


"So I axed him a question."

Dr Scoofles
Dec 6, 2004



At the risk of sounding like a complete nutter, certain sounds make me irrationally angry. Wet smacking mouth noises, noisy food like apples and crisps, people biting their nails and so on. I'm absolutely fine if I'm in a group and there is a general hubbub of ambient noise, but if I'm in a really quiet class or in the library and another student is just going to town on an apple I become fixated on it and feel an overwhelming urge to flee the room before I flip.

My father in law is especially bad as he will sit infront of the telly with crackers and cheese and eat super slowly with a lot of noise and also this strange internal moaning and wheezing sound, like the work of eating is putting such a stress on his body he has to groan with the effort. Spending an evening sitting next to him is especially tough.

Tendai
Mar 16, 2007

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."



Grimey Drawer

People with long hair who let it get all stringy and gross-looking. I just cannot deal with that.

Master Twig
Oct 25, 2007

I want to branch out and I'm going to stick with it.


If I'm out and about with one other person and they start talking on their phone for more than just a quick informational call. So I'm stuck sitting there awkwardly while they have a conversation about nothing with someone else. My mother is the worst offender of this.

Kugyou no Tenshi
Nov 8, 2005

We can't keep the crowd waiting, can we?

"Sometimes you just have to get up and decide you're going to do things, even if you don't feel like doing them". That's nice, have you lived with a physical disability at any point in your life? Wait, you have, and you're on a fuckton of drugs (for a lesser problem than mine) that you know I don't have, and even then you manage to make it out of bed once a week at best?

Also, people who think that doing you a favor obligates you to accept verbal abuse from them whenever they feel like dishing it out and that asking them to please stop saying straight-up offensive poo poo is being "ungrateful".

Tiggum
Oct 23, 2007


In fiction, when someone gives an incredibly cryptic or unhelpful response to a question and the protagonist just accepts it and carries on rather than getting annoyed or even asking for clarification.

I'm looking for someone to translate this writing, can you help?
In the shadow of iniquity, seek the one whose name is last.
Thank you.

Later

Hey guys, what do you suppose he meant by that?

brick cow
Oct 22, 2008


"God doesn't like it when people drink."

"What?!? It's literally one of Jesus' miracles that he turned water into wine! And served wine at the last supper calling it his blood!""

"He only did that because water back then was unsafe to drink. Drinking is bad, Joseph Smith said so." *goes to room downs a couple muscle relaxers and a few oxys, doesn't get out of bed for two days*

You're a real inspiration for sobriety, mom!

Cowslips Warren
Oct 29, 2005

What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?



Grimey Drawer

People who don't know how to loving MERGE when driving! Zipper, you assholes! It's not three cars jet in for every one on the highway! One at a loving time. And no, honking your horn and trying to ride into the other car is not viable either.


When you make plans and the other person flakes out. Look, if your husband decided he wanted to see a movie and he hates seeing them alone and wants you to come, great! But when you've already made plans with me and then won't loving say plans have changed, so I wait around and keep texting you to see what is going on, just tell me! It's disappointing but better than waiting around for your call when you're running late or won't show up at all.

Guys who joke about menstruation and how gross it is and how women just need to stop talking about it. Hey rear end in a top hat, if your dick started leaking once a week for a month, and you got bad cramps, and people kept laughing about you having PMS, you know what won't help you? Being told to orally please a lady. I swear my guy friends bitch about their wives on their periods and how 'they can still suck me off!' so much. Do they want me to agree with them? How does anyone over the age of 16 think this is acceptable?

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


women who won't suck dick when they're on the rag

cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

Dr Scoofles posted:

My father in law is especially bad as he will sit infront of the telly with crackers and cheese and eat super slowly with a lot of noise and also this strange internal moaning and wheezing sound, like the work of eating is putting such a stress on his body he has to groan with the effort. Spending an evening sitting next to him is especially tough.

People who pant and wheeze a lot aren't necessarily my peeve but it does weird me out. Last Friday I had plans to go out for drinks with some friends, one of them came to my place beforehand as we were going to drive into the city together. Before we left we took my dog for a brisk walk around the block (maybe a thirty minute walk at most) and by the time we were halfway through the walk my friend (who is a big guy but not ridiculously fat and no bigger than I am) was wheezing and panting and had sweat pouring off him like he was halfway through the Boston marathon. When we got home he had to sit down for twenty minutes to compose himself and it just wigs me out, like, how do you become so unfit that just walking at a normal pace for a short length of time knocks you the gently caress out?

Later that night my friends and I were walking through the city from one club to another, a distance of no more than a kilometre, and both my friend from the previous story and a second guy we were with who is not even fat or terribly goony were both panting and wheezing like a couple of pugs with asthma. Is walking so unusual these days that walking a couple of blocks is a massive exertion for some people? Look after your gross, meat bodies, people

edit - a related pet peeve: fat guys who stink. There's a certain type of fat guy I've encountered over the years and they will have this really distinct stink on them that is kinda like body odour but also smells like they might have poo poo themselves a little bit? And no matter how much deoderant or cologne these guys use this overpowering fat-guy stank just rolls off them and makes me want to gag and it's like, do you just not bathe or clean your clothes? To be fair a few guys I've met who smelt like this were diabetic and had ulcers that definitely contributed to the stink but goddamn, when you get to the point where you're so fat your flesh is rotting and you smell like a corpse just kill you're self and if you stink that bad and don't even have the excuse of having literal rotting flesh falling off your body then gently caress, what even is your life?

cthulusnewzulubbq
Jan 26, 2009

I saw something
NASTY
in the woodshed.


People who have weird fixations on pet causes.

Touchy-feely flower children who call themselves "punks".

Newspaper comics.

Tiggum
Oct 23, 2007


People who walk slowly. Specifically, when they're walking somewhere with me. If I'm walking somewhere with someone I always have to plan for it to take twice as long as it should, because no one can walk at a reasonable pace. And I don't think I walk particularly fast, it generally takes me about as long to get somewhere as Google Maps indicates. Is that not supposed to be a normal walking pace?

FluxFaun
Apr 7, 2010




Tiggum posted:

People who walk slowly. Specifically, when they're walking somewhere with me. If I'm walking somewhere with someone I always have to plan for it to take twice as long as it should, because no one can walk at a reasonable pace. And I don't think I walk particularly fast, it generally takes me about as long to get somewhere as Google Maps indicates. Is that not supposed to be a normal walking pace?

Some of us have short legs! I hate it when i'm walking with friends and all the tall guys with long legs are taking these huge rear end strides and I pretty much have to do this weird almost jog just to keep up with them.

Also assholes who are mean to cashiers. Those people suck.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~


College Slice

Cream-of-Plenty posted:

Oh man. Pronouncing "height" as "heighth" (with a "th" ending); "irregardless".

lenth

strenth

FluxFaun
Apr 7, 2010




GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

lenth

strenth



"Libarry"

ArtIsResistance
May 19, 2007

QUEEN OF FRANCE, SAVIOR OF LOWTAX


People crying. One time I was getting a double double at my local Tim Hortons and this bitch in front of me kept crying and apologizing saying that her father died that morning. Boo hoo, why don't you cry about it somewhere I'm not at?

That nerd looking dude with glasses who always smells like cigarette smoke and sits next to me in class sometimes. Hey, nerd looking dude with glasses, why don't you sit somewhere else!

People who don't walk on the sidewalk properly who are a different race from me. Hey, group of people speaking chinese, why don't you walk single file!

Souvlaki ss
Mar 7, 2014

It's not tomorrow until I sleep

Uninvited guests.
No, it doesn't make it better to call 5 minutes before arriving and say "I'm going to your place now!". gently caress off.
(this particularly applies to family members).

Magic Hate Ball
May 6, 2007

ha ha ha!
you've already paid for this


When people pour the coffee before the creamer, then pour in way too much creamer because it all goes straight to the bottom so the top stays black, and then when they stir it it goes chalk-white, and they drink it anyways.

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010


Souvlaki ss posted:

Uninvited guests.
No, it doesn't make it better to call 5 minutes before arriving and say "I'm going to your place now!". gently caress off.
(this particularly applies to family members).

People who take it as a personal insult when they want you to put your shoes on and drive to meet them somewhere right now and you're like...tired and don't want to because it's been a long day. No dude, this doesn't have to be about you. It's just making the whole thing more awkward and painful when the reality is I don't want to put pants back on and drive anywhere to listen to anybody talk about their day...not just you.

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010


Calling Yellow Jacket wasps "meat bees".

Calling Crane Flies "mosquito hawks" or "daddy long legs".

Calling pill bugs "potato bugs".

Roleplaying Dad
Jan 23, 2005

Invisibilityrific

People who get the bottom of the stairs/escalator or just outside the door of the building and STOP to find their cellphone, get their cigarettes out, check out the scenery holy poo poo just move to the side, stop blocking traffic.

Would of. Could of. Should of.

Roleplaying Dad
Jan 23, 2005

Invisibilityrific

Cream-of-Plenty posted:

People who take it as a personal insult when they want you to put your shoes on and drive to meet them somewhere right now and you're like...tired and don't want to because it's been a long day. No dude, this doesn't have to be about you. It's just making the whole thing more awkward and painful when the reality is I don't want to put pants back on and drive anywhere to listen to anybody talk about their day...not just you.

Along those lines, people who text like "OMG wicked party happening across town RIGHT NOW... No only staying maybe an hour, come out! I miss you!!" Goddamn I am not a college student anymore. I have poo poo to do in the morning. Maybe if you had given me some warning I could have come out, but I was up at 530 this morning. I love to go out and catch up and have a good time...but only if I'm well rested, and fed, and I look good, and there's gas in my car, and the other people there aren't lovely, and my dog's had an appropriate amount of attention, and wtf am I supposed to do with my coat, and get the gently caress off my lawn.

Roleplaying Dad has a new favorite as of 04:16 on Mar 5, 2015

Souvlaki ss
Mar 7, 2014

It's not tomorrow until I sleep

Cream-of-Plenty posted:

People who take it as a personal insult when they want you to put your shoes on and drive to meet them somewhere right now and you're like...tired and don't want to because it's been a long day. No dude, this doesn't have to be about you. It's just making the whole thing more awkward and painful when the reality is I don't want to put pants back on and drive anywhere to listen to anybody talk about their day...not just you.

I did that once.
I was super tired but my friends made it sound like they really needed me (one was depressed), so I showered, put on pants and took the subway across town in the middle of the night. Of course I arrived, we had 1 beer (that took like 20-30 minutes) and they decided it was time to go home


I hate people.

Tea Bone
Feb 18, 2011

I'm going for gasps.

Dr Scoofles posted:

At the risk of sounding like a complete nutter, certain sounds make me irrationally angry. Wet smacking mouth noises, noisy food like apples and crisps, people biting their nails and so on. I'm absolutely fine if I'm in a group and there is a general hubbub of ambient noise, but if I'm in a really quiet class or in the library and another student is just going to town on an apple I become fixated on it and feel an overwhelming urge to flee the room before I flip.

My father in law is especially bad as he will sit infront of the telly with crackers and cheese and eat super slowly with a lot of noise and also this strange internal moaning and wheezing sound, like the work of eating is putting such a stress on his body he has to groan with the effort. Spending an evening sitting next to him is especially tough.

My boss has a habit of whistling the first few bars or the chorus of a song over and over and over. Sometimes he'll pause for a few seconds which makes me think he's stopped, then he starts again, he'll literally do this for hours. He also drinks coffee although he's holding his mouth over the cup and slurping it upwards, after each sip he'll let out an loud "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh".

Kugyou no Tenshi
Nov 8, 2005

We can't keep the crowd waiting, can we?

Tea Bone posted:

My boss has a habit of whistling the first few bars or the chorus of a song over and over and over. Sometimes he'll pause for a few seconds which makes me think he's stopped, then he starts again, he'll literally do this for hours. He also drinks coffee although he's holding his mouth over the cup and slurping it upwards, after each sip he'll let out an loud "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh".

And now you just reminded me of one that gets me every time. People who love songs, but refuse to learn the lyrics for them, then decide to repeat just the hook over and over again with their misunderstood version of those lyrics. If I have to hear my mother singing "on the finger ring" ("all the single ladies") in one more five-minute burst, I might just get the lyrics to Single Ladies tattooed on her inner forearm or something.

And yeah, no exaggeration here - she'll mumble it while she drags herself up the stairs on two bad knees (the whole point of my family living with you is to keep you from having to go up and down stairs if you don't have to, woman), which lasts at least five minutes a flight.

EDIT: Also, people who expect you to put your entire life on pause for them whenever they feel like it. Why no, my fiancee and I weren't completely invested in that movie we just purchased and are watching for the first time while eating dinner, of course we wouldn't have been. What a silly thought. Now spend the next three hours between now and her going to bed telling us about all the stupid poo poo you've been told by people you repeatedly tell us you want to cut out of your life because they're a huge drain on your emotional state.

I love my mom, but she be hella dumb sometimes.

Kugyou no Tenshi has a new favorite as of 12:21 on Mar 5, 2015

yeah I eat ass
Mar 14, 2005

only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

People who have no sense of awareness of how loud they/their actions are. The biggest annoyance to me personally are door slammers. The person in the office next to mine, whenever he steps out to do ANYTHING, whether it is to go grab a coffee in the office 2 doors down, or talk to someone in the hall for 30 seconds, he slams the door shut behind him. At least once an hour he does this and it makes me jump almost every time. Is it so much to ask to close it quietly, or maybe...don't close it when you don't need to?

People have already mentioned this before, but I'll just reiterate: sidewalk obstructors. People who walk too slow and take up the whole sidewalk (I'm looking at you, guys slow-walking with their girlfriends while holding hands), as well as the people who just stop dead in their tracks out of nowhere to dig through their purse or look at their phone.

People who never carry any cash with them when going out to eat or drink- this is more of a problem over here in Switzerland than in the US, but a lot of places I've been here either don't/won't split the bill, or are cash-only. I can understand being caught off guard your first time out or two, but there is always someone in the department when we go out as a group that wants to pay their portion by card, forcing one of us with cash to cover them until they pay you back several weeks/months later. Also on a semi-related note: people who act scandalized over every little cultural difference between the place they are visiting and back home. Whenever you try to explain the previous cash issue or other differences, a lot of visitors will launch into a rant about their cash-back cards and how cash is too old fashioned/unsafe etc, or start berating the waiter (who may or may not speak english) in english about having to pay 7 francs for half a liter of water/not always getting free bread before the meal/not having salt and pepper at the table/whatever. I understand the surprise at some of these things because I went through the same thing, but some people just get so mad about it unless they get their way.

yeah I eat ass has a new favorite as of 12:29 on Mar 5, 2015

poptart_fairy
Apr 8, 2009

by R. Guyovich


People who speed up when you're walking behind them and then slow down again, only to speed up once more and repeat the process - they'll then keep glancing over their shoulder and shooting you dirty looks as if it's being done deliberately. Of loving course I'm not going to pass you if you keep doing this.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~


College Slice

People who can't conclude an minor disagreement like adults:

"Well, it seems like we'll never agree on this, but I respect your opinion and I'm sorry we had an argument."

"Yeah, I'm sorry you're so wrong"

Tiggum
Oct 23, 2007


Murphy Brownback posted:

People who never carry any cash with them when going out to eat or drink- this is more of a problem over here in Switzerland than in the US, but a lot of places I've been here either don't/won't split the bill, or are cash-only. I can understand being caught off guard your first time out or two, but there is always someone in the department when we go out as a group that wants to pay their portion by card, forcing one of us with cash to cover them until they pay you back several weeks/months later.
I've had to start making a specific point to get cash before going to a restaurant with a group because I just don't use cash in any other situation any more, and I don't always remember. I always used to have cash in my wallet, because using my card was less convenient and cost more, but now restaurants and pubs are the only place left where I can't expect to just scan my card for everything, and pubs at least generally have ATMs inside.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

People who can't conclude an minor disagreement like adults:

"Well, it seems like we'll never agree on this, but I respect your opinion and I'm sorry we had an argument."

"Yeah, I'm sorry you're so wrong"
People who say "agree to disagree" and mean "I don't have a good response to that so I'm not going to acknowledge it in any way."

Tendai
Mar 16, 2007

"When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber."



Grimey Drawer

People who pronounce "wolf" and "wolves" as "woof" and "wooves."

For gently caress's sake.

xcheopis
Jul 23, 2003




Roleplaying Dad posted:

People who get the bottom of the stairs/escalator or just outside the door of the building and STOP to find their cellphone, get their cigarettes out, check out the scenery holy poo poo just move to the side, stop blocking traffic.


I loving hate these people so loving much. Berkeley is full of the fuckers, too. And idiot bicyclists.

THE PENETRATOR
Jul 27, 2014

by Lowtax


Cream-of-Plenty posted:

1. People who zealously stick to the speed limit while driving. Yes, I realize you're following the posted limit and probably feel very holier-than-thou, but let's be honest: Those speeds are created with the lowest common denominator in mind. We're talking about people who are basically high-functioning retards with the coordination/reaction speed of a Lima bean. It's probably not going to kill you to go as fast as other traffic.

actually op, speeds are optimized to maximize safety and minimize accidents on that particular road and are the law, and if you break the speed limit you get pulled over by the cops and given a ticket and possibly even have your license revoked.

Gay Rat Wedding
Sep 14, 2011



Taco Defender

Murphy Brownback posted:

People who have no sense of awareness of how loud they/their actions are. The biggest annoyance to me personally are door slammers. The person in the office next to mine, whenever he steps out to do ANYTHING, whether it is to go grab a coffee in the office 2 doors down, or talk to someone in the hall for 30 seconds, he slams the door shut behind him. At least once an hour he does this and it makes me jump almost every time. Is it so much to ask to close it quietly, or maybe...don't close it when you don't need to?

This drives me insane. Sometimes classes and deadlines line up such that I'll have just a 3 hour window where I can get some sleep and then that time has to carry me for the next 30 hours, and the jackass in the next room wakes me up in the middle of it because they have evidently never learned that you can close a door without hulk smashing it.

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Tiggum
Oct 23, 2007


People who say "ek cetera" or write "ect."

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