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pookel
Oct 27, 2011



Ultra Carp

bringmyfishback posted:

I'm feeling like I should eat that sweet potato pizza monstrosity for the thread, but it would ruin my diet and be really expensive...

Here is a very ugly school lunch. I guessed it would be from the U.S., but ti seems it's actually from the U.K.


Sadly, that looks miles above the quality of the school lunches I remember from grade school in the 1980s. I just GIS'd and couldn't find anything that resembled my school lunch memories, either. Think "macaroni in red sauce that's been sitting around for hours and congealing, so when they serve it to you with an ice cream scoop, it sits there on your tray in a perfect ball that you're afraid to touch."

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Code Jockey
Jan 24, 2006

you can call
but I seldom answer after all




ErIog posted:

A hot dog and a sausage are not the same thing so the meme doesn't apply.

Also, don't you mean "yo dog...?"

Totally going to open up a dog-in-sausage stand now and call it Yo Dogs

That does look good though and would, totally

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in



Code Jockey posted:

That does look good though and would, totally

Yeah I would destroy that thing and probably have seconds.

Also, have some more food porn.











Comptroll The Forums
Apr 25, 2007

DON'T HURT MY FEE FEES!

Please don't post pics of my gross orange peen tia

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~


College Slice

Following the example set by our intrepid heroes (who are probably still feeling the pain), I've decided to make good on my promise of eating and showing off a ridiculous regional dish.

The Horseshoe



A Horseshoe, as any Illinoisan will tell you, was invented right here in the Land of Lincoln, and we defend it ferociously. "It was OUR idea," we scream, "to take a piece of Texas toast, put some meat on it, cover it with fries, then cover the fries with cheese!"

Here's a cross-section of this behemoth:


There are no horseshoe rules other than bread, meat, fries, cheese. The meat can be whatever you want, even that weird Gardenburger stuff, though most locals opt for a good ol'-fashioned hamburger patty. Today I've chosen turkey because I'm in a turkey mood, and had it topped with mushrooms, diced tomatoes, and jalapenos. I have no way of weighing this loving thing but if you hold the container with one hand, you risk losing the 'shoe when the styrofoam breaks because it's pretty heavy.

Wish me luck and if I die and BARONS survives I guess he's next in line for my stuff. Hope you like your new '94 Ford Ranger (sorry, the A/C doesn't work)

flirty dental hygienist
Jul 24, 2007

All aboard the knuckle train to FIST PLANET!!


GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Following the example set by our intrepid heroes (who are probably still feeling the pain), I've decided to make good on my promise of eating and showing off a ridiculous regional dish.

The Horseshoe



A Horseshoe, as any Illinoisan will tell you, was invented right here in the Land of Lincoln, and we defend it ferociously. "It was OUR idea," we scream, "to take a piece of Texas toast, put some meat on it, cover it with fries, then cover the fries with cheese!"

Here's a cross-section of this behemoth:


There are no horseshoe rules other than bread, meat, fries, cheese. The meat can be whatever you want, even that weird Gardenburger stuff, though most locals opt for a good ol'-fashioned hamburger patty. Today I've chosen turkey because I'm in a turkey mood, and had it topped with mushrooms, diced tomatoes, and jalapenos. I have no way of weighing this loving thing but if you hold the container with one hand, you risk losing the 'shoe when the styrofoam breaks because it's pretty heavy.

Wish me luck and if I die and BARONS survives I guess he's next in line for my stuff. Hope you like your new '94 Ford Ranger (sorry, the A/C doesn't work)

I think you posted the wrong second picture, unless the cross section is literally a car.

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005



GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Following the example set by our intrepid heroes (who are probably still feeling the pain), I've decided to make good on my promise of eating and showing off a ridiculous regional dish.

The Horseshoe



A Horseshoe, as any Illinoisan will tell you, was invented right here in the Land of Lincoln, and we defend it ferociously. "It was OUR idea," we scream, "to take a piece of Texas toast, put some meat on it, cover it with fries, then cover the fries with cheese!"

Here's a cross-section of this behemoth:


There are no horseshoe rules other than bread, meat, fries, cheese. The meat can be whatever you want, even that weird Gardenburger stuff, though most locals opt for a good ol'-fashioned hamburger patty. Today I've chosen turkey because I'm in a turkey mood, and had it topped with mushrooms, diced tomatoes, and jalapenos. I have no way of weighing this loving thing but if you hold the container with one hand, you risk losing the 'shoe when the styrofoam breaks because it's pretty heavy.

Wish me luck and if I die and BARONS survives I guess he's next in line for my stuff. Hope you like your new '94 Ford Ranger (sorry, the A/C doesn't work)

Would. Sober even. Doubly so less than sober.

BlankIsBeautiful
Apr 3, 2008

Feeling a little inadequate?


Are you Canadians telling me you've never heard of or been to:



There's one in Niagara Falls, ON, and when we go, it's drat difficult for me not to eat every single meal in there. I think they opened one up in the US somewhere in California.

https://smokespoutinerie.com/

Anyway, it's probably been posted before, but the Cookingforbae Instagram page is a gold mine.

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



BlankIsBeautiful posted:

Are you Canadians telling me you've never heard of or been to:



There's one in Niagara Falls, ON, and when we go, it's drat difficult for me not to eat every single meal in there. I think they opened one up in the US somewhere in California.

https://smokespoutinerie.com/

Anyway, it's probably been posted before, but the Cookingforbae Instagram page is a gold mine.



I've been looking for the name of that account forever!

There's like, 80 Smoke's in Toronto. They're not bad, but they get a little too messy for my taste a lot of the time. However, they're opening a wiener shop ("Grab your wiener here!" is the actual tagline) near my place. When they open, I'll let you know.

BlankIsBeautiful
Apr 3, 2008

Feeling a little inadequate?


cash crab posted:

I've been looking for the name of that account forever!

There's like, 80 Smoke's in Toronto. They're not bad, but they get a little too messy for my taste a lot of the time. However, they're opening a wiener shop ("Grab your wiener here!" is the actual tagline) near my place. When they open, I'll let you know.

Having, like, zero poutine around here, my biannual visit to Smoke's is like Nirvana. I do make it myself, but Smoke's gravy is really good.

They would make a killing if they opened one up near every college campus everywhere. It's the perfect drunk food.

Lonely Virgil
Oct 9, 2012



pookel posted:

Sadly, that looks miles above the quality of the school lunches I remember from grade school in the 1980s. I just GIS'd and couldn't find anything that resembled my school lunch memories, either. Think "macaroni in red sauce that's been sitting around for hours and congealing, so when they serve it to you with an ice cream scoop, it sits there on your tray in a perfect ball that you're afraid to touch."

Pasta with red sauce is probably the better of modern school lunches. One dish that's was pretty common when I was in school was lightly season ground beef with the texture of sand and tortilla chips with no veg because the taco meat probably was cooked in a tomato base sauce.

I gained like 15 pounds from 5-6th grade because my elementary school had a vendor that sold junk food and my middle school had a vending machine which were way more inciting lunch choices to kids.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013



CHEETOS® marshmallow treats



DORITOS® marshmallow treats



FRITOS® marshmallow treats



bonus: best question I have ever been asked

Jmcrofts
Jan 7, 2008

just chillin' in the club

Lipstick Apathy

You guys are really making me want to pick up a Tamale Boat from Al's Beef and document my death from colonic implosion after I eat it.



E: For the uninitiated, Chicago-style Tamales are a tube of cornmeal paste stuffed with ground beef and various spices. They're pooped out of a machine that is basically an industrial Play-Doh extruder. They come out like this:



then get deep fried until they turn bright yellow and delicious.

Jmcrofts has a new favorite as of 21:30 on Jun 11, 2015

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



BlankIsBeautiful posted:

Having, like, zero poutine around here, my biannual visit to Smoke's is like Nirvana. I do make it myself, but Smoke's gravy is really good.

They would make a killing if they opened one up near every college campus everywhere. It's the perfect drunk food.

Actually, I always eat it when I'm drunk, so maybe that's why it looks so fuzzy to me. But yes, good gravy, weird combos like pulled pork keep it interesting.


This reminds me that I still need to make/show you guys the Jailhouse Burritos because they look like slimy versions of these squares.

Crust First
May 1, 2013

Wrong lads.


Jmcrofts posted:

E: For the uninitiated, Chicago-style Tamales are a tube of cornmeal paste stuffed with ground beef and various spices. They're pooped out of a machine that is basically an industrial Play-Doh extruder. They come out like this:



then get deep fried until they turn bright yellow and delicious.

When I was a teen, one of my favorite things to "cook" for myself was a pot with a can of chili (with beans) and two tamales; mix until you have something that looks like a can of dog food, and serve on a plate with some oyster crackers pressed into it. It would seriously just plop out of the pot in a weird tuna can shape and hold that shape while you ate it. I get heartburn just thinking about it.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill



Pastry of the Year posted:

CHEETOS® marshmallow treats



DORITOS® marshmallow treats



FRITOS® marshmallow treats



bonus: best question I have ever been asked



I would eat all of these shameful white people obscenities

Dogfish
Nov 4, 2009


BlankIsBeautiful posted:

Are you Canadians telling me you've never heard of or been to:



There's one in Niagara Falls, ON, and when we go, it's drat difficult for me not to eat every single meal in there. I think they opened one up in the US somewhere in California.

https://smokespoutinerie.com/

If you like Smoke's poutine you are in for a real treat the first time you taste actual poutine. Smoke's is the Kraft Singles of poutine. Next time you're in Canada, go to Montreal (which is amazing for reasons other than fries, cheese curds and gravy) and on your way there stop at a roadside casse-croûte somewhere in Québec and prepare yourself for a life-changing experience.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009



cash crab posted:

This reminds me that I still need to make/show you guys the Jailhouse Burritos because they look like slimy versions of these squares.

I think I have watched every jailhouse burrito video on youtube, all in an attempt to chase the high of the first one I saw - that crazy Canadian dude.

Lonely Virgil
Oct 9, 2012



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut5qa3B9GEk

Enjoy the taste sensation of flaming hot mango margaritas.

Throatwarbler
Nov 17, 2008

Oct 3, 2016 00:06: SO I'm also in 1st year classes and it's going pretty well I think.

Dec 9, 2016 15:46: Well I just took my first law school final exam. I think I've made a huge mistake.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Following the example set by our intrepid heroes (who are probably still feeling the pain), I've decided to make good on my promise of eating and showing off a ridiculous regional dish.

The Horseshoe



A Horseshoe, as any Illinoisan will tell you, was invented right here in the Land of Lincoln, and we defend it ferociously. "It was OUR idea," we scream, "to take a piece of Texas toast, put some meat on it, cover it with fries, then cover the fries with cheese!"

Here's a cross-section of this behemoth:


There are no horseshoe rules other than bread, meat, fries, cheese. The meat can be whatever you want, even that weird Gardenburger stuff, though most locals opt for a good ol'-fashioned hamburger patty. Today I've chosen turkey because I'm in a turkey mood, and had it topped with mushrooms, diced tomatoes, and jalapenos. I have no way of weighing this loving thing but if you hold the container with one hand, you risk losing the 'shoe when the styrofoam breaks because it's pretty heavy.

Wish me luck and if I die and BARONS survives I guess he's next in line for my stuff. Hope you like your new '94 Ford Ranger (sorry, the A/C doesn't work)

Yeah, that looks pretty decent, and not even particularly unhealthy with the turkey and vegetables/mushrooms like you've got there, in moderate quantities. The bread at the bottom is a bit weird though, I would forego the bread and just eat it as a particular rich subset of chilli cheese fries?

Schubalts
Nov 25, 2007

People say bigger is better.

But for the first time in my life, I think I've gone too far.


Jmcrofts posted:

You guys are really making me want to pick up a Tamale Boat from Al's Beef and document my death from colonic implosion after I eat it.



E: For the uninitiated, Chicago-style Tamales are a tube of cornmeal paste stuffed with ground beef and various spices. They're pooped out of a machine that is basically an industrial Play-Doh extruder. They come out like this:



then get deep fried until they turn bright yellow and delicious.

I would eat the hell out of those. Makes me want to try making my own.

the corona quid
Jan 19, 2014

the best driver
the best team
forza vettel


cash crab posted:

Anti-Food Porn Thread: ITT We Test Death

I want to volunteer to try something really gross, but we don't get the really gross stuff here until it really takes off in the US.

The only thing we really get that I don't think the States ever got was McDonald's poutine, which isn't the worst thing ever to be honest.

Late to the party here but it was the worst thing ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZhxUrxc52Y

Waterslide Industry Lobbyist
Jun 18, 2003

ANYONE WANT SOME BARBECUE?



Lipstick Apathy

Jmcrofts posted:

You guys are really making me want to pick up a Tamale Boat from Al's Beef and document my death from colonic implosion after I eat it.



E: For the uninitiated, Chicago-style Tamales are a tube of cornmeal paste stuffed with ground beef and various spices. They're pooped out of a machine that is basically an industrial Play-Doh extruder. They come out like this:



then get deep fried until they turn bright yellow and delicious.

Is there any food Chicago won't ruin?

Picnic Princess
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die




Mexican Deathgasm posted:

Thanks! That's perfect actually, I'm going to the zoo soon anyway.

Right now they're only open on weekends, but weekends are horribly busy. I can let you know when they're open the rest of the week if you like. I may or may not work somewhere there.

EorayMel
May 29, 2015

You got the fluffy kitty kitty!


This thread and google image search reminded me of these things:



These were the loving poo poo back in 3rd grade. Wouldn't eat one of them today since I'm trying to make sure my blood sugars don't go overboard so I avoid diabetes but these were too good. MMMMM, cheap white bread sticking to the roof the your mouth!

Also to get back to the Anti-Food Porn stuff what in God's name am I looking at here? A bunch of yams/sweet potatoes in a turkey leg form?



Same also goes for incarnate:

EorayMel has a new favorite as of 05:45 on Jun 12, 2015

Pomp
Apr 3, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 20 days!


Waterslide Industry Lobbyist posted:

Is there any food Chicago won't ruin?

Pizza.

Big Centipede
Mar 20, 2009

it tingles


Pomp posted:

Pizza.

Wrong.

Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005




Wrong.


There are no pizza rules. Chicago Pizza Rules. A slice in NYC rules. California Pizza Kitchen rules.


It's all loving awesome.

BARONS CYBER SKULL
Jun 19, 2004

A Final Rest






deep dish isn't pizza is tomato and cheese soup in a bread bowl.

cash crab
Apr 4, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



1500quidporsche posted:

Late to the party here but it was the worst thing ever.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZhxUrxc52Y

OH GOD IT'S WORMS

OctoberBlues posted:

I think I have watched every jailhouse burrito video on youtube, all in an attempt to chase the high of the first one I saw - that crazy Canadian dude.

I am Canadian, and mine will be better. I promise. I'm going to turn the sound on really loud so you can hear the exquisite "plop" when it comes out of the bag. gently caress it, I'm making it tomorrow.

cash crab has a new favorite as of 07:14 on Jun 12, 2015

AnonSpore
Jan 19, 2012

Bear Witness

BARONS CYBER SKULL posted:

deep dish isn't pizza is tomato and cheese soup in a bread bowl.

Pizza Hitler might be dead but the pizza neo nazis carry on his legacy

salty fries make me cry
Oct 3, 2007

~~i'm outside ur window~~
~throwin bricks at teh moon~


I'm in New England so every place is New York style pizza unless you count Little Caesars as real pizza, but I'll still get down with a deep dish.

I've never met a pizza I wouldn't eat.

Neo_Crimson
Aug 15, 2011

"Is that your final dandy?"

EorayMel posted:

This thread and google image search reminded me of these things:



These were the loving poo poo back in 3rd grade. Wouldn't eat one of them today since I'm trying to make sure my blood sugars don't go overboard so I avoid diabetes but these were too good. MMMMM, cheap white bread sticking to the roof the your mouth!


I thought these were a cool idea until I actually tried one. The bread was soggy, stale, and probably laced with cyanide. The peanut butter was barely there and completely overwhelmed by gobs of super sugary (yet somehow flavorless) jelly. Despite that the jelly was probably the only thing that kept it edible since that much refined sugar can make almost anything taste good.

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

BARONS CYBER SKULL posted:

deep dish isn't pizza is tomato and cheese soup in a bread bowl.

that's the dumbest description of chicago deep dish pizza possible that still contains the actual ingredients

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013



Neo_Crimson posted:

I thought these were a cool idea until I actually tried one. The bread was soggy, stale, and probably laced with cyanide. The peanut butter was barely there and completely overwhelmed by gobs of super sugary (yet somehow flavorless) jelly. Despite that the jelly was probably the only thing that kept it edible since that much refined sugar can make almost anything taste good.

"This is a big bag of corn syrup."
"Yeah, but you can eat the bag!"

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~


College Slice

Throatwarbler posted:

Yeah, that looks pretty decent, and not even particularly unhealthy with the turkey and vegetables/mushrooms like you've got there, in moderate quantities. The bread at the bottom is a bit weird though, I would forego the bread and just eat it as a particular rich subset of chilli cheese fries?

It's pretty tasty, even if it is a pile of cheese fries atop a half-sandwich (hey, it's the Midwest, bland is all we've got).

The true anti-food porn begins in a couple weeks when county/state fair season starts up. We get ourselves up to all sorts of culinary atrocities during the summer

DekeThornton
Sep 2, 2011

Be friends!


Well, seems like this thread is on the ball when it comes to the future of fine dining.

Kobold eBooks
Mar 5, 2007

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AN OPEN PALM SLAM A CARTRIDGE IN THE SUPER FAMICOM. ITS E-ZEAO AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE THE MAIN CHARACTER, CORPORAL FALCOM.

BARONS CYBER SKULL posted:

deep dish isn't pizza is tomato and cheese soup in a bread bowl.

It's pizza, there are no pizza rules, post ugly food instead of your idiot opinions on what is/isn't a specific dish. You sound like one of those "CHEESECAKE IS A TORTE" people.

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013



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Diodeous
May 14, 2002



Neo_Crimson posted:

I thought these were a cool idea until I actually tried one. The bread was soggy, stale, and probably laced with cyanide. The peanut butter was barely there and completely overwhelmed by gobs of super sugary (yet somehow flavorless) jelly. Despite that the jelly was probably the only thing that kept it edible since that much refined sugar can make almost anything taste good.

Try them frozen, it is a game changer

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