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Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


I am the guy who never beat video games as a kid because I was too dumb. I'm back with another one.

I dug out more CDs, but we're going to start with Shattered Lands because (and I quote my 9 year old self here) "Woah, this one has a praying mantis on the cover! Gnarly!" My 9 year old self failed miserably at this game mostly because I thought 4 Thri-Kreen mages was a good idea. Or psionists. I don't even know what psionists means. I also don't know if Thri-Kreen is right, but that's what I'm calling them until someone corrects me and then I'll continue to spell it however the hell I want.

There is a good link to Abandonware if you google the name it has a bunch of screenshots and some video or something.

This LP will follow my others, except this one can have much more user input which is hopefully a good thing.

If you continue to read this be prepared for the following: Copious swearing, spelling mistakes, terrible gifs, lame jokes, inept game management, forgetting to save and having my Windows95 virtual machine crash and then having to replay a bunch, and other such shenanigans.

Things you should not expect: Sound, Brilliant gameplay, Showing you neat tricks about the game like that one guy who got 100% complete on Quest For Glory. gently caress him for making me feel like an idiot playing those games.

I haven't even read the manual. I will, but my priority is writing this long-winded bullshit that no one will read and care about.




To get us started here is the introduction to the game.




And now we get to the character creation part. I need to create 4 characters. I remember giants being the only thing that helped me through the game because once all my praying mantis mages died I added fighter giants and just punched everything to death.





Here is a gif of me cycling through the character creation menu. You can see the options. Some races can only be certain things, others can be anything.


So to begin I need 4 characters created, preferably not as dumb as I did as a kid. Try to be smarter than a kid who was wearing florescent orange shorts for fucks sake.

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Kaboom Dragoon
May 7, 2010

The greatest of feasts



Going to suggest a bugman fighter called Slaying Men'tis.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Here is a link to the PDF manual that installs with the game. It goes in depth about classes, magic, spells, all that good stuff.

http://s000.tinyupload.com/?file_id...838933998231756

Aishlinn
Mar 31, 2011

This might hurt a bit..




Good luck with this, i'll be watching. I actually planned on doing a let's play of this myself, but life's been conspiring to not give me enough free time to do so. Glad someone is getting to this, i have fond memories of this game. If you miss anything though, i'll be sure to point it out, there's a lot of ground to cover!

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Oh man, I'm going to do this, but I wouldn't say I'm going to do it well. I have only the vaguest recollection of the game, I'm going to screw up and miss a lot I bet. I'll try to show as much of the world as I can, do the side quests, but I am in no way an expert.

Your advice will be welcome (and then promptly forgotten while I do my own thing and die).

Edit: So far we have 1 Thri-Kreen fighter. We'll probably need some kind of mage(preserver)/druid/cleric/psionicist, and who knows if thieves are even useful in the game.

Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 17:54 on Mar 19, 2015

Aishlinn
Mar 31, 2011

This might hurt a bit..




Spermy Smurf posted:

and who knows if thieves are even useful in the game.

They are, if you backstab. That being said, Aishlinn the human Assassinthief at your service. I would generally recommend a Half-giant fighter or gladiator as your front liner, thri-kreens are fun, but are better in support roles, as they can't wear as much in the way of armor. Giants are just giant slabs of hp. Now..are you going to give the characters the stats they are rolled with, or are you going to give them a little bump? If you click on the stats in the creation window, you can push them up to their racial maximums if you are so inclined.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Yeah, I remember the thrikreens getting destroyed early. That is seriously about all I remembered.

I was planning on just rolling the dice (and then cheating so they all roll 6) for the characters. I just got to that part in the manual that says I can bump up the HP and other crap. Didn't know that!

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Alright you dildos, I'm creating two characters myself.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Time to meet our characters!



Slaying Man'tis the Thri-Kreen fighter, armed with ninja stars for some reason.


Aishlinn the human thief who came armed with a long sword for some reason instead of the usual stabby daggers.


Kug the giant dual wielding a club and sword.


And a dude whose name I forgot to change. Kornec. He is a half-human-half-dwarf which is called a Mul apparently. It was something unique to this setting, so I went with it. I made him a fighter/cleric.


Immediately we are thrown to the wolves so to speak.




We watch helplessly as Celgor (old dude in a brown cloak about to be eaten) is destroyed in a cloud of dust/magic/smoke. Or was he? Apparently the green things are Sligs.


Time for us to shine, watch me move and prepare for combat!


Chaaaaaaarge! We must avenge Celgor even though I have no idea who it is. Chaaaaaaaarge!



Combat looks like this. Kug basically destroys poo poo while the other people hang out and chillax. The end text gets cut off but basically says "Okay, you gladiators are great now go back to your pens like nice little boys and girls."


Question: Do we go meekly back to our pens, or do we explore and/or murder guards and/or die?


Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 19:40 on Mar 19, 2015

Aishlinn
Mar 31, 2011

This might hurt a bit..




Sligs are the green frog-like critters, the poor old dude is Celgor, a random, low level defiler. Amusingly, the AI will behave randomly, i've seen the defiler run away and get quite a few spells in..but alas..he'll get thrashed by the ravager every single time.

It's ok, i'll be here to keep you in line!

Aishlinn fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Mar 19, 2015

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


God damnit. Editing as if I knew what the gently caress I was talking about. There have been two lines of text and already I'm an idiot who can't read.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Change of plans everyone, we can't explore/die horribly just yet.


Woooo, I'm rich!


Of course we are going to yell something back.


But what do we say? Do we want to fight again?

Nenonen
Oct 22, 2009



Fallen Rib

Money! Let's see... IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Nenonen posted:

Money! Let's see... IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?


Ow holy poo poo that hurt. Straight up killed one of my dudes with the magic area blast.

sznurowadlo
Aug 20, 2007


We say ... "we fight again"

Nenonen
Oct 22, 2009



Fallen Rib

Sounds to me like the folks that own us have little sense of humour? Huh.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


sznurowadlo posted:

We say ... "we fight again"







Yeah, it was. Thanks for noticing.


More money!



And then I do something dumb, I wander around and loot everything, take screenshots and crap like the following...


Let me cut you down...


...and immediately loot you.


More loot. Outfitted Kug with dual swords.


Chatted with this guy, then cut him down.


Is this where I am supposed to go? I seriously have no idea.


Oh god damnit. Prepare for Fight #3 and then I promise I'll loot fast (if I dont die) and find the exit.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004



Here they come!


Here they die. Kug took 3 damage and that was it.


More money! Slaves have a huge need of money for the slave outlet stores so this is helpful.

I stop being an idiot, loot another sword and sling, then move back into the bone-pen that I initially came out of.



Heading to the slave pens where my money will obviously be super-helpful.




Kurzak looks like a dick, I'll have to kill him later won't I?


Next time: What the poo poo do we do? I am tempted to telegraph our escape plan by asking about the exits.

Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 20:36 on Mar 19, 2015

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007





I remember playing this game a lot as a kid, but I don't remember any specifics. Still, good choice for an LP.

Let's keep a low profile for now, and escape after a few more fights (and rewards!).

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.


Kug seems to be a wrecking ball and a half, starting with a 24 Strength, 75 HP, etc. What's the deal with giants?

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Night10194 posted:

Kug seems to be a wrecking ball and a half, starting with a 24 Strength, 75 HP, etc. What's the deal with giants?

I may or may not have sort of close-to-maxed out all of the characters.

I rolled the dice on the character creation screen till I got a 6. I have no idea what the max strength for giants is, but 24 is insanely high already. Rolling the die and re-rolling it changes the stats. So this specific 6 must have jacked strength and constitution. No idea what the maxes are, but I reaally needed a meat shield so I'm pretty happy.

ArchWizard
Mar 27, 2009

There's the Roy I know and love.


I bet the dude is underpaid and disgruntled. Let's see if he'll help us escape in exchange for some of our money.

Aishlinn
Mar 31, 2011

This might hurt a bit..




That poor guy..he really needed some water..perhaps you shouldnt have cut him down before giving him some much-needed aid.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Aishlinn posted:

That poor guy..he really needed some water..perhaps you shouldnt have cut him down before giving him some much-needed aid.



I will reload just to show whatever this is, and continue my 'just fumble my way through it' storyline.

Hell, it took me till the third fight till I remembered I have magic.

Edit: I dont have a 'get water' spell or anything so I have to go in the cells to get it right? I feel like I need you to PM me a list of crap to watch for to not gently caress up the storyline.

Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Mar 20, 2015

Aishlinn
Mar 31, 2011

This might hurt a bit..




If i had platinum i would totally pm you all day long. But yes, you can't rescue that gentleman quite yet. Keep your eyes out for water.

Also, on the subject of magic, all characters have a baseline psionic tree they get a few spells in. Psionicists get a much broader array of abilities (basically Psionics is Brain magic. OooOooOoooo...) And if you don't choose to change their default selection, they get "kinesis" as their tree, which if nothing else, gives your melee characters a ranged ability to use if they aren't quite in range of whacking things. there's a few odd abilities in the list that can really help if you remember to use them. The way this game handles things like Spell failure is basically, if a monster hits you before you get your turn, you won't be able to cast spells that turn, so keep that in mind before sending your casters in to bop things with their staves and clubs.

Also also, On the subject of thieves and weapons, while traditionally, a dagger is the first thing you think of, swords are outright better for them. There's surprisingly few daggers even IN the game And only one magical one!, you're better off with the thief..pretty much getting the fighter's hand-me-downs.

Aishlinn fucked around with this message at 04:44 on Mar 20, 2015

Unoriginal One
Aug 5, 2008


Good heavens, one of the old SSI games; while I didn't play this one in particular, I did play a bunch of the others back in the 90s.

With any luck, the huge pile of bugs this game will inevitably have will only be annoying, rather than the game-ending affairs some of their other games had.

Mathwyn
Oct 31, 2012

Ante up.




Unoriginal One posted:

With any luck, the huge pile of bugs this game will inevitably have will only be annoying, rather than the game-ending affairs some of their other games had.

Hey buddy, one those bugs is a party member!

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


ArchWizard posted:

I bet the dude is underpaid and disgruntled. Let's see if he'll help us escape in exchange for some of our money.


So we got a flask to hold water, and bribed him pointlessly. I call it a victory. He also let us know there is a super secret way out of here.


I'm going to link this next gif because it's 9MB. It's me wildly moving the mouse around to try to show the impressive scope of the world. It was absolutely impressive to my 9 year old self. I mean look at it. There are more than 2 people to talk to, there is one dude walking ON HIS OWN, and the graphics are mindbottling.

9MB Gif of slavepens: http://i.imgur.com/a8Ai13i.gif
Smaller imgur GIFv file: http://i.imgur.com/a8Ai13i.gifv

So now I'm going to wander around, chat with the three interesting people (dude walking, generic fighter wearing blue instead of brown, and the guy that looks like a distinguished gentleman with gray at his temples.)

Maybe I'll break the game and die. Remind me to save.

Ideas on what to do next after I chat and maybe unlock new quests/things to do/gently caress something up and have to reload?

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Alright, we're going to need a new page. I have an assload of images coming up.

Professor Clumsy
Sep 12, 2008

It is a while still till Sunrise - and in the daytime I sleep, my dear fellow, I sleep the very deepest of sleeps...


This looks interesting. Can you give us a more detailed overview of how the combat works?

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


T-t-t-triple post

We decide to explore the slave pens. I steal anything not nailed down. I discover there is no such thing as a quest log, so I have to remember all sorts of bullshit. I've started writing crap down. No wonder my 9 year old self failed so bad at this.


I talk to Mirlon who apparently does not have gray hair. Just his sprite does.


I ask him about escape because lets face it, I want to escape and do... something.


Ah, bribes will help us escape. This will be simple then. Step 1: Get gem. Step 2: Apply bribes.


God damnit. Step 1: Find tied up guy. Step 2: Get him water. Step 3: Get Gem. Step 4: Apply bribes.
Wait, scratch that. Step 1: find water container. Step 2: Fill up water. Step 3: Go back to arena. Step 4: Fight and win. Step 5: Find tied up guy. Step 6: Get him water. Step 7: Get gem. Step 8: Return Gem to Mirlon. Step 9: Apply Bribes. Step 10: Escape.

This should be a cakewalk since I accidentally got a water jug earlier.




Thanks brah.



Okay, so Generic Blue is the boss. Got it.


Scar is kind of a dickhole. We're not powerful enough to talk to the almighty Scar. I think that's his name. Already forgot.


Lets talk to the Wandering dude. His name is "Trustee" and apparently he's an Ex-gladiator that gets some freedom around here.



We find out the names of the other people we've already talked to.





And we learn all about them.


Note to self, maybe trusting Mirlon with a gem is a bad idea.



Thanks Trustee, for unlocking a random door for absolutely no reason.


Man'tis is about to level up while the other guys aren't even close. I'm changing the main character to whoever has the lowest experience.


He starts off calling us Newbies, but he hasn't even fought in the arena.


Oh hey, there is a water thing over there. Thanks!


We learn about Trustee.


About this time I learn we can snoop. I do. What's he going to do? Say we can't?


Not sure who Petchul is, but I'll keep it in mind (if you guys remind me because I have a terrible memory for names).


And I missed a screenshot of it, but there were 3 (what I thought were barrels) clay jugs sitting there to the left. In games like this you always destroy barrels, so I did.


They weren't nailed down so I took them.


And I may have found the gem that I just created a 12-step plan to get. So that saved a bunch of work.

I'm going to take a nap, heal, rest up mana points and I'm taking any and all ideas!

Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:02 on Mar 20, 2015

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Professor Clumsy posted:

This looks interesting. Can you give us a more detailed overview of how the combat works?

I click on someone. The guy walks over and punches them.


It's turn based from what I can tell. There is something behind the scenes figuring out who goes next, guessing it's some D&D THAC0 poo poo or something I don't understand.


Every character has X movement points. Everyone has 12 right now, except Man'tis who has 15 so he can attack more than the other characters. Guessing it's because he has more limbs.

I can tell my guys to guard, wait, or end turn. Every step I take counts as a movement point. I can cast a spell which will immediately end my turn, archer someone with a lovely lovely sling for 2 damage, or maneuver around them to stab them in the back. I'll gif more combat and explain it next arena fight.

Actually, Aishlinn can probably explain it better. I just play the game blindly.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Forgot to talk to a couple people


Glial or whatever sits all alone on a pile of hay.



That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. I demand that she come with us when we escape. I will absolutely not take no for an answer.


Straw is for sleeping, dummy.






Dun dun dun. We talked about escape and AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH SHARP PAIN MUST STOP TALKING


I can take a hint. I talk to her 3 or 4 more times just to make her head hurt more.



I walk up to Merzol and his badass crew and overhear them talking.



Merzol is level 7, I'm not gonna get mouthy. Its odd that the level 7 guy is not the strongest in the pens. Scar is only level 3 and considered the best.


So both Scar and Merzol want me to go fight again before they'll talk to me. I can take a hint.


Scar and Merzol are both dickholes.


I leave, needing to nap and then fight more to get some more experience. His henchmen need to learn to keep their mouths shut.


I take a nap. The rings of stone are the only safe places to nap in the game.


I'm coming, I'm coming.

Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:24 on Mar 20, 2015

Aishlinn
Mar 31, 2011

This might hurt a bit..




You more or less nailed the combat mechanics, they're quite simplistic. You get X movement points per turn. You can choose to guard, reducing the damage you take, but your turn will take longer to come up again, or you can "Wait" and have it come faster. If a spellcaster gets hit before their turn, they are locked out of spellcasting for that turn, so choose your placement carefully. An interesting note, Thri-kreen get a LOT of attacks when they are barehanded, vs wielding weapons, and also have a chance to poison enemies when doing so. It can be useful against enemies that don't have a lot of hp left, but are fairly hard to hit, when you just need to bear down with sheer number of hits to try and land that finisher. Later on, there's a pair of magic "Gloves" which are a weapon, and are quite useful in the handspinchers of a thri-kreen.
Once you run out of movement, if there's an enemy in range, you can melee with them, or if you have a bow, you can take a few potshots. Early on, arrow supplies are very limited, but you will soon get a really good source of them, if you are so inclined. Thri-kreen get a chatchka, which is basically an infinite throwing star. Go figure.

Another important thing to note, as you explore, you may notice that you can pick up treasure chests and leather bags, rather than just looting them. DO THIS. Take every single chest and bag in the game, because each one turns one inventory slot into 6.

Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Day 2, FIGHT!


I take my time getting up there to the jailor. He is smarmy.



At least we get a rousing speech before we have to kill people.



Four halflings. Two archers, two punchers. They do a total of 0 damage. Aishlinn is seen stabbing a dude in the back for pretty good damage.


Slaying Man'tis joins the fray and kills a guy in one turn.


Kornec does the same.


I missed a screenshot. It was the announcer saying "That was TOO easy! Send out monsters!" This is what showed up.


I know I know, I'm awesome.


drat skippy we are!



The mo' money we come upon the mo' problems we see.

I can't go back, I got things to do!




Giving him water and cutting him loose gives me 750xp each! Insane. My guys are level 2, 3, and 4 now. I need to start using magic/psionic stuff in fights.


Meet me in the holding pen, we'll chat there!


This is the most useless conversation ever. Mostly because we already found the gem. He swears we're part of the Veiled Alliance, denies he is part of it. He tells us where the gem is hidden, and then says he wouldn't make it back to his cell in the pens so he'll just hang out outside.


Later.


Back to the pens with us!


And now it brings up a bunch of choices.

Do we:
A) Give the sketchy guy the gem so he can start bribing people.
B) Chat with Scar and see if we can become part of his gang.
C) Chat with Melzon (or whatever) and see if we can join them with their already-half-planned jailbreak?


We may need to do all 3 of these things to progress anyway, I honestly don't know.

Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 17:23 on Mar 20, 2015

tadashi
Feb 20, 2006



I'd vote start with B. If it involves killing more poo poo, at least you'll grind out a couple levels? Also, I want to see what's up with this Scar guy.

Aishlinn
Mar 31, 2011

This might hurt a bit..




There's also Option D: Kill em all! if you're feeling particularly suicidalbrave.

wafflemoose
Apr 10, 2009



Not that it's really needed, but isn't the pro strategy for this game is to have three tripleclass dudes and one half-giant Gladiator?

Alpha3KV
Mar 30, 2011

Quex Chest


Aishlinn posted:

An interesting note, Thri-kreen get a LOT of attacks when they are barehanded, vs wielding weapons, and also have a chance to poison enemies when doing so.

It's been a few years since I've played this, but I remember them getting extra attacks regardless of what's in their hands, though a two-handed weapon or shield does mean less attacks altogether. With that in mind, a Thri-kreen Ranger/Psionicist can be a living buzzsaw. Rangers can use two weapons without penalty when wearing light armor or going unarmored as T-K are forced to. Psionicists have several defensive skills that help make up for the lack of armor, as well as Giant's Strength which raises the user's strength to 24. That applies to each swing they take, so they can do a LOT of damage in a single turn. Also, they have a +1 wisdom bonus which gives them more PP.

This does taper off somewhat toward the end. The extra attacks they get are all non-magical and thus useless against some of the later enemies. You also might need to equip them with a shield in the later stages for AC. It's still pretty powerful then, and psionics are always useful for disabling enemies.

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Spermy Smurf
Jul 2, 2004


Where the poo poo were you guys when I was making characters?

God damnit.

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