Croatio: A Land of Contrasts

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Croatio: A Land of Contrasts

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

Hey guys, gonna chime in with a belated post.

I'm gradually kicking a number of substances, and I can describe my general shape as completely drained of energy and always tired. This goes with drug kicking, but at least I'm not freaking out because I bought an absurd amount of benzos from Drug Baba. I stopped buying trams from her even though she has them, I only wanted benzos and goddammit, I bought her out.

I also rented out property C after sprucing it up a bit and got top dollar for it! $305 to be precise. This, combined with $230 from property A is more than enough to live a comfortable retiree life. And I'm enjoying it.

There's a problem with Vesna, she won't leave me alone, calls me on WhatsApp every day, she's obviously after what remained of my dick. First she stole my hat, now she wants my virginity as well. This just ain't gonna happen. I spoke to her the other day and I saw traces of herpes ointment on her lips, she must have every STD that exists. She called me on the phone the other day, saying that the boiler in her tower crapped out and that there is no hot water and she's on her period and can't clean herself up and asking if she could come over to wash her twat. Sure honey, gently caress you, that's a very weak bait. I'd rather jam my dick in a blender than in her twat.

There are more things I'd like to write about, such as the excellent commie Russian radio set from the 1970s I bought off an enthusiast, but it's gonna have to wait, my hands are shaky and I'm having serious trouble just typing this.

You'll hear from me again when I pull myself together a bit. I'm not sure how long it's gonna take, but here, Merry Christmas in advance if I don't post in the meantime.

I read this whole thread in like three days. It was horrifying and very, very funny.

May your beard always be fat and sweaty.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2018 13:15

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 02:28

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Lead out in cuffs posted:

If you can track them down and have archives, this is literally thread #3 in the series.

I think the first one was titled "I have a sticky situation with my tenant" or something similar.

Ohhhhh shiiiiiiii!!!!!

Anyone have a link handy?

# ¿ Dec 28, 2018 10:12

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Omg I can't believe I got e;fb'd by a photo of Judd goddamn Hirsch, but happy New year! Okay.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2019 02:05

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Wow, can you stupid lovely idiots not be hostile assholes to others based on their loving geographic region of birth? THANKS

# ¿ Mar 16, 2019 01:24

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

I come here for chair meat recipes, not these pee-pee races

# ¿ Mar 16, 2019 01:25

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Also, please do Spain

# ¿ Mar 16, 2019 01:29

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

I feel really embarrassed now. I honestly thought that "my nigga" is a friendly term, and goons somehow know that I never mean any harm in my posts. So I guess, thank you guys for pointing this out before I used the term in real life. I wrote the n-word fully in order to demonstrate just how racist Nazi Gramps really is.

I don't like to be forced into autocensorship, but you know what they say, when you're in Rome, do as the Romans do.

I will make an effort not to be racist on the forums, unwittingly or otherwise.

I wish I had a cool black friendo. It's one thing when you talk poo poo and vent on the internet, what matters is what you do in real life, in which I'm not racist at all. Sure, i'm still stuck in the 1950s, but I dont't think I'm much of a racist, I just like to talk poo poo on the internet (and this wasn't the first time I got in trouble on SA because of racism.)

Look, now you know. Don't beat yourself up about it, and your apology is appreciated. A surprising number of people make the same error when learning English, so chalk it up to experience.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2019 12:59

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

A SWEATY FATBEARD posted:

I know, and I'm not exactly thrilled about it. Chalk this up for me being a regular on 4chan and encyclopedia dramatica which has become a racist hellhole. Thus my casual racism, even though I'm not hiding butthurt behind those words. But I agree that I really came off as an rear end in a top hat in that post.

This is where fine-tuning your English (which, dude, your English is SO GOOD) using the internet is kind of tricky.

Definitely don't compare ANYONE to monkeys, though.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2019 16:32

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

She’s stalking you to feed off your misery. Congratulations, you have a Drug Babadook.

loving lmao

# ¿ Mar 20, 2019 06:25

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Doctor Malaver posted:

With the added bonus of misspelling the national group.

Hahahahahahahaha :discourse:

# ¿ Mar 20, 2019 11:27

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

There is no need to gas the thread and I find it slightly silly that this is even being considered. Say "no more fundraising" and move it to TCC, sure, but this isn't a child abuse situation and cutting off ASB from an emotional and social support system seems unnecessarily harsh.

If you go around deleting all the threads that are about brokebrains trying to discuss their situation, it's going to be a very empty forum.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2019 10:55

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 29, 2024 02:28

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

I wish I had seen the CD thread when it was live, because I clocked his first mention of abuse very early on. Unfortunately, I came to it after it had been locked.

It really sucks because I just went through six months with a student exactly like his oldest son, same diagnoses and everything, and since I've already gone through one abuse investigation this year with THAT kid...yeah.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2019 22:23

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Croatio: A Land of Contrasts