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strange voices, walls seeming to twist and distort, that sort of thing is general mills meddling with forces they couldnt possibly comprehend
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Apr 23, 2015 13:15
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could these ancient grains be taken from sites holy to forgotten gods? who knows what horrors could be unleashed
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Apr 23, 2015 13:22
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"... these eldritch grains filled me with the most unspeakable dread. What secrets did they hold, within that Cyclopean container of stiff cardboard and well-designed packaging? Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself against the unknown, and opened the box..." - HP Lovecraft, The Grain from Out of Space, 1923
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Apr 23, 2015 13:22
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My grandfather was an ancient grain, he used to lie in the field with the wheat plants all day long until tragically one day he was rototillerd by a tractor
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Apr 23, 2015 13:22
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All of my farts sound like "CARCOSA" should I see a doctor?
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Apr 23, 2015 13:27
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You need all seven ancient grains for balance in all things. Upset the balance at your own peril.
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Apr 23, 2015 13:42
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he sees you
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Apr 23, 2015 13:48
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albany academy posted:"... these eldritch grains filled me with the most unspeakable dread. What secrets did they hold, within that Cyclopean container of stiff cardboard and well-designed packaging? Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself against the unknown, and opened the box..."
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Apr 23, 2015 13:51
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In it's box in your house free prize waits dreaming.
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Apr 23, 2015 13:52
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they should do a cross with cap'n crunch and call it ancient mariner
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Apr 23, 2015 13:53
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Cthulu called me collect once. I didn't accept the charges
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Apr 23, 2015 13:57
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I don't know about you, but I only eat quinoa grown on an ancient Aztec burial ground. It helps my metabolism.
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Apr 23, 2015 15:13
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i only pour virgin blood on my ancient grains cereal OP
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Apr 23, 2015 15:15
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Kyoon parachute??
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Apr 23, 2015 15:21
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albany academy posted:"... these eldritch grains filled me with the most unspeakable dread. The house negroes themselves would no longer enter the house, due to that ancient, instinctual primeval dread long forgotten by the higher races. What secrets did they hold, within that Cyclopean container of stiff cardboard and well-designed packaging? Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself against the unknown, and opened the box..." here is the original version. i knew it was missing something
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Apr 23, 2015 15:24
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Listen here, I better taste the grains or you'll taste the pains.
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Apr 23, 2015 15:27
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the grains are sooooooo old lmao
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Apr 23, 2015 15:29
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call the police on grainos
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Apr 23, 2015 16:12
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def an increase in indigo baby sightings, op. keep your chakras aligned...
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Apr 23, 2015 16:45
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My mouth has tasted like it's full of nickels basically every other day since the release. Something is going on.
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Apr 23, 2015 18:28
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It's the sweet ergot sprinkles.
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Apr 23, 2015 19:06
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If you feed a cursed Cheerio to a baby you are supposed to be watching, you'll never get hired by those parents again.
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Apr 23, 2015 19:48
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"Eldritch Gluten" is a way better name than ancient grains
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Apr 23, 2015 19:52
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i keep eating ancient grains but i keep getting hungrier please send help my wife already ate the baby
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Apr 23, 2015 20:58
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i keep waking up from the strangest dreams where im eating this cereal
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Apr 24, 2015 07:07
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my spoon turned into a snake this morning
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Apr 24, 2015 07:13
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It's the ghosts of all the unhealthy poops your new healthy breakfast forced out of your buttt
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Apr 24, 2015 07:14
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You've got psychotic ergotism from mold on those ancient grains.
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Apr 24, 2015 07:19
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a̶̛͚̟̦̤̘͓͇n̠̟̬̙c͓i̥̟̹̪̤̱̻e̗͎͈̩̩̣͡n̙͙̥̘̭̝͢t̰͚̻̦̗́ ̸̡͍̬͍̜̗͕̭̤ͅg̨͔͚͠ŕ͓̲̖͔̫̀a̷͕̝͕͟͠i̥̘͢n͍̻s̝̯̲͠ ̵̥̭̬̰̼̳̬̥̯
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Apr 24, 2015 07:23
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I tried a bowl but they made me violently ill. i can't stop vomiting wasps i can't even go to the hospital like this please help there are so many waspss
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Apr 24, 2015 07:40
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Idk know if this makes any sense... But the cereal ate me. I was eaten by the cherios.
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Apr 24, 2015 07:49
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Pox posted:Idk know if this makes any sense... But the cereal ate me. I was eaten by the cherios. "Ancient grains" is a blanket term used to describe the petrified remains of ancient psychoactive seeds found in the tummies of mummies, grown to fruition in a laboratory and used in breakfast cereal. They were first cultivated to warn future civilizations of tiny loops of grain, but general mills is trying to silence the prophecy by trapping them within the cursed loops. You're probably descended from the first cultivators of ancient grain so part of your being is trapped inside of the cheerios.
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Apr 24, 2015 07:57
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Have you ever noticed that, if you smash a cheerio, the dust it creates is actually tiny little cheerios? You cannot destroy a cheerio through any physical means.
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Apr 24, 2015 08:00
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The dark, unfathomable terror contained in the box of cereals consumed my soul and drove my mind into madness
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Apr 24, 2015 08:03
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i opened a grains general mills box just now and streams of rats came flowing out
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Apr 24, 2015 08:13
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Darf posted:i opened a grains general mills box just now and streams of rats came flowing out You have quite a treasure there....
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Apr 24, 2015 08:15
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who knows the secrets contained in the ancient grains
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Apr 24, 2015 08:26
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Ancient Grains? More like Anchient Aliens
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Apr 24, 2015 10:38
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here the honey nut cheerios bee lies slumbering, watching, waiting
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Apr 24, 2015 10:40
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tried to vote 5 but my fingers have turned to worms
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Apr 24, 2015 10:48
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