<<Contest WINNER>> Bringing Spiderman into the 21st Century

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i am he

# ? Apr 25, 2015 04:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 16, 2024 19:07

i am he

Hey Amy - just a couple rando thoughts from the rusty cage I'm being held in

- Millenials love the 90's, and hate spiders. Maybe instead of a radioactive spider bestowing a host of superpowers on our young hero by biting him, we could have a tiny CGI Hey Arnold crawl inside his brain and operate his body like a claw machine.

- Steampunk is really popular right now (for good reason), and it shares a lot of qualities with Spiderman. The raw power, intensity, and gears form such a cohesive aesthetic it'd be crazier to not incorporate it into the Spidey mythos. I can envision a lot of scenarios where gears or even cogs would be appropriate.

- Spidey has always been sort of a "nerd," but now that bandwagon culture whores have ruined geek culture by making it acceptable I think he should wear a varsity jacket, and it should have several letters. The villain could be made of old computers and Twin Peaks DVDs.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 05:03

Swizzbutt

this is everything and nothing

# ? Apr 25, 2015 05:05

zidane13: by Smythe

make it an allegory for what marijuana can do to a mind.

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# ? Apr 25, 2015 05:06

TFW NO BAE

i am he posted:

lol

# ? Apr 25, 2015 06:04

TFW NO BAE

spiderman becomes a prominent member of weird twitter

# ? Apr 25, 2015 06:06

i am he

Dialogue Leaked from Spiderman 2020

Spiderman: Uncle Bae no!

Uncle Bae: That feel when you're facing death.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 06:20

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

i am he posted:

lolf

# ? Apr 25, 2015 06:20

pig slut lisa: irl is good

spiderman takes time out of his busy day on 9/11 to tweet in memory of the victims, along with branded hashtags

# ? Apr 25, 2015 06:22

TFW NO BAE

i am he posted:

# ? Apr 25, 2015 06:25

GEExCEE

i am he posted:

ehehe

# ? Apr 25, 2015 07:27

satsui no thankyou

i am he posted:

ahahah

# ? Apr 25, 2015 07:42

satsui no thankyou

a powerpoint presentation on fusing doc ock and the doge meme

# ? Apr 25, 2015 07:44

thewizardofshoe

Peter Parker quits his job as a newspaper photographer to be a twitch.tv streamer, instead of SWATting rival streamers he Spidermans them.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 08:01

satsui no thankyou

spidey and the green goblin team up to fight a new enemy: the feminists from on-line.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 08:06

thewizardofshoe

Make Spidermans an asian girl

# ? Apr 25, 2015 08:08

thewizardofshoe

Italian Spiderman comic miniseries to capitalize on the ultra hip obscure faux nostalgia market

# ? Apr 25, 2015 08:10

weird: by zen death robot

satsui no thankyou posted:

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# ? Apr 25, 2015 08:19

Rodatose: corn, corn, corn

What if instead of shooting webs at bad guys, he shot bad guys on the web? Taking the form of a "web crawler" program, this is spiderman is fully web-integrated to make your child's chatroom safe from creeps and crooks.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 09:12

joke_explainer

i am he posted:

# ? Apr 25, 2015 09:37

ron color

i am he posted:

satsui no thankyou posted:

# ? Apr 25, 2015 13:25

dogcrash truther

Spider-Man announces that he wants to fully transition to being a spider

# ? Apr 25, 2015 14:23

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

i am he posted:

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# ? Apr 25, 2015 14:25

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Spidey webs a restaurant owner for banning google glass.

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# ? Apr 25, 2015 14:27

the unabonger

satsui no thankyou posted:

# ? Apr 25, 2015 15:29

Looke

spider-person petitions for gender-neutral suffixes

# ? Apr 25, 2015 15:34

Cyber Dog

i am he posted:

i am he posted:

lololol

# ? Apr 25, 2015 15:41

Cyber Dog

- spidey is in ferguson. but which side is he really on???

# ? Apr 25, 2015 15:53

the unabonger

# ? Apr 25, 2015 16:26

dogcrash truther

i flunked out posted:

# ? Apr 25, 2015 19:34

i am he

In case it's not clear the picture in the op is an actual email sent to a Sony Executive that leaked in the big hacking scandal.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 20:29

zidane13: by Smythe

i don't see a big deal with the proposal in the OP, so just do that. I'm sure it'll sell.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Apr 25, 2015 20:32

satsui no thankyou

i am he posted:

still lolling at this post

# ? Apr 26, 2015 00:57

Bwee

I nominate this thread

# ? Apr 26, 2015 00:58

saboten

i am he posted:

hahah

thank u bacalou

# ? Apr 26, 2015 01:23

dogcrash truther

Hey Amy -- gotta few lolrandom thoughts I thought I'd "buzz" your way before I sneak over the Turkish border

- Peter Parker's job as a news photographer. We have to change that up. Todays Millenials don't vibe with newsprint, first off, and second of all, they're more into entrepreneurial, tech-type stuff. None of them would allow J. Jonah Jameson to yell at them for fifteen seconds. I'm thinking maybe Peter Parker could write for Buzzfeed or maybe Vice? Vice would give him a good opportunity for being in the grimier parts of the city looking for a hip scoop. For instance, he could get involved with the Somali diaspora in New York City and become a convert. Beards are huge among Millenials so he'd look tr�s 2015 while also faithfully following the Holy Prophet's (pbuh) orders.

- Ok, brainstorm here. Millenials. These kids are all about the glasses. They love different kinds of glasses. Smart glasses, smart-looking glasses, that's what they're about. And which brand better exemplifies that than Warby Parker? You can see where I'm going with this...maybe Spiderman has to save his successful cousin Warby from Chinese gangsters? And then they found a tech startup together . Drones are hot right now. Something involving drones.

- If we're looking at expanding the overseas box office, we really need to be thinking beyond American Millenials. If we think globally it's clear that the hottest new trend is Jihad. You want to talk media savvy? You should check out ISIS's twitter or see how many views they have on Youtube. These guys are the ultimate Millenials and it only makes sense for Spidey to join their ranks and fight against the infidels and establish the Caliphate. There's no doubt that most Millenials would think getting invited into ISIS would be huge, and buzzworthy, and very cool.

Hope this email finds you well. Tell my family not to come looking for me.

dogcrash truther fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Apr 26, 2015

# ? Apr 26, 2015 01:29