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 It's like I'm really in the G-Unit. (Looking forward to the next update)
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May 2, 2015 06:11
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| # ¿ Apr 23, 2024 17:18 |
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 It begins. Also the P.I.M.P. midi is great because it sounds like music from a LucasArts adventure game
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May 4, 2015 13:03
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Setting the bar real low: https://soundcloud.com/platjuke/gruff-man-asks-big-questions Dunno if it counts, since it's not technically a book, but that's just how I roll. EDIT: I was having too much fun, so I ended up making this as well: https://soundcloud.com/platjuke/traynspotting Still sticking with that first reading for my contest entry though. Also I apologise. PlatinumJukebox fucked around with this message at 13:37 on May 25, 2015 |
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May 23, 2015 08:44
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1. Fear nothing. 2. Keep a piece to keep the piece. 2.1. Keep anything bigger than a squirt gun away from Lloyd. 2.2. Keep squirt guns away from Lloyd. I am dead fuckin' serious. 3. Check yo' bling wit' yo' homies. Don't want two people turnin' up wit' the same gold, then one of y'all gotta go an' change. 'S embarassin', man. 4. Casual Fridays are a great idea. 4.1. Casual Fridays are a terrible idea. I'm freezin' them after that fuckin' 'Nam-grade poo poo wit' Lloyd. Ask Yayo about "the Hawaiian Breeze incident". He'll tell you. 5. Your ride got bounce? Rims? Diamond grill? A'ight, that's all cool. Don't be gettin' no custom horn though. Don't care how intricate the melody is, a brother be gettin' physically sick erry time they hear the Seinfeld theme at eighty fuckin' decibels bippin' an' boppin' its way down the street. 6. If you hookin' up, bothers bring the bud, sisters bring the Bud. 6.1. Sisters can also bring: Ketel One; Desperados; Glenmorangie (12 or 14 years); Goslings Black Seal Navy rum; a crisp Zinfandel red, or hell, even a cooler. I ain't fancy. 6.2. Wine cooler, Lloyd. Wine cooler. Get that Ghostbusters poo poo outta here. 7. Some fool steppin' to you an' you ain't got no piece? Download the Fiddy app an' let my hot disses take them chumps down a notch. Buy the premium version for some severe smacktalkin' that'll leave 'em shittin' they souls out. Also comes with a free pedometer ("Fuckin' one twenty steps? Get yo' feet on the streets, Fatty Lardbuckle!") and calendar ("Valentine's Day, bitch! Nothin' says 'romance' like a fo'ty an' a lollipop, ya dig?"). 8. Don't ask yo' Lloyd (erry crew got a Lloyd, it just happens) what "dubs" n' "subs" is, 'less you got an hour an' a few hundo brain cells to kill. 9. A real playa knows how to feed hisself an' crew. Maybe some fettucini alfredo with cubed avocado, or a sweet onion and kale bake with Gruyere cheese. Or, y'know, get some Chinese. I ain't fancy. 10. Y'all want some defence lessons? Most fools gonna aim fo' yo' face, cause most times that'll take a sucka off his feet straight up. But not me. You know why? This scowl, man. I call it "Face Kegels". Just scowl erry day an' no bullet gonna get through those face muscles.
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Jun 12, 2015 21:02
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Setting the bar low. Real, reeeeal low. https://soundcloud.com/platjuke/banjo-rap A rap based on my AU headcanon where Fiddy really liked playing Banjo Kazooie. (Warning: Seriously bad)
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Jul 1, 2015 20:17
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After his escapades in the New York hood and the Middle East, 50 Cent is about ready to take a well-deserved break. However, fate has other plans in store for him. While playing a friendly game of diamond skull hacky-sack with the G-Unit, a letter falls out of the skull's eyeholes. Lloyd Banks deciphers the ancient Ebonics to reveal a letter from the eldritch rap king Grandmaster Flash. One term catches the G-Unit's collective eye: The Phat Loot, a legendary hoard of sick beats, spicy demos and the fabled Tupac-Biggie mixtape. It's time for 50 Cent to don his bulletproof vest once again as he embarks on his most dangerous quest yet. Fiddy and the G-Unit crew must travel all across North America to follow the trail, but they will be tested time and time again. Fiddy must use every bit of his natural cunning to survive. He'll explore the darkest, most hallowed depths of the Compton Ruins; go toe-to-toe with toasting zombies in the wilds of Jamaica; and brave treachery and deceit as even those closest to him are corrupted by greed. But if he survives, then maybe – just maybe - he will finally discover the long-lost secret in "50 Cent: Quest for the Phat Loot"!
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Jul 3, 2015 20:43
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| # ¿ Apr 23, 2024 17:18 |
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What, nobody else wanted to embarrass themselves online by white-rapping for a stuffed toy? Buncha cowards in here  Looking forward to the Real-Life Adventures of Mr. Cent. I hope there's a laugh track.
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Jul 4, 2015 17:35
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