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Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK
Well, it's the offseason so it's time to make some mega-fun posts! Since my toxx is now complete, I can rant about my least favorite player on my team right now! Yay! It feels good to do so and I will continue to do so! Please allow me the chance to impress you all with my ranting! However, I feel that making a thread based around me and my hatred of one dude isn't what good posting is! It limits discussion to the few (and the proud) Chiefs fans and the few bitter Niners fans that I made mad.

So, have at it! Who is your least favorite player on your favorite team? Or hell even the league in general. It can be personally or professionally or even just because! Go nuts my dudes. Be as detailed or as emotional as you want! I'll work on a first post (see below) to start us off. Feel free to disagree and argue with me all you want! That means we'll have a wonderful thread experience to last us over the offseason.

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Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK
Alex Smith is the worst quarterback. I despise having him on my team and I wish him gone. He's bad and not good. In this post, I shall show several ways in which he is not good.
Now, before I continue, I will admit that there are QBs I would rather not have over him. Some are because of Goodness Reasons (Winston, Roethlisberger, Mettenberger, Vick, P. Manning)or past results (Sanchez, Cassel, McCown). But, nearly every other QB who is probably going to get starting time would be preferable to Smith.

I will now list my reasons as to why I've come to my conclusion. I will use as many facts as I can to explain my position but some of my points are purely speculative or personal opinion. View those as you will.

1. Alex Smith is the primary reason why the Chiefs receivers caught no touchdowns last year.
2. The one-dimensional offense we are forced to use around Alex Smith is the reason why we missed the playoffs.
3. His contract is enormous and we traded away way too many picks for him.
4. He's boring as hell.


My first point is controversial, I admit. I'm not going to say that the Chiefs receivers were good. They struggled and had some injury problems. But, not even a single touchdown? That's a bit hard to swallow. No other team, no matter who the QB was or how bad the receivers are, has ever done that in as many decades as they've kept count. Think about that. The worse your own team has been is not as bad as the situation was for the Chiefs this year. How did this happen? Well, it cost three players their jobs ultimately. The only thing is I believe the wrong dudes were fired. Smith is the primary reason for the failure. Thankfully, Reid and Pederson were skilled enough to overcome their QB's deficiency but it wasn't enough to get us into the playoffs. To prove my point, look at the receiving situation for both of Smith's KC years.

In 2013, Smith threw 1544 yards to only receivers for 11 TDs. 15 TDs went to everyone else. He threw for 3313 yards total. He averaged 206 yards per game.
In 2014, Smith threw 1480 yards to only receivers for 0 TDs. 18 TDs went to everyone else. He threw for 3265 yards total. He averaged 202 yards per game.

What's the cause for the huge disparity? Yards aren't that different at all. The prominent theory is that the receivers were at fault so let's look at them.

'13 receivers:
Bowe
Avery
Hemingway
Jenkins
Hall

'14 receivers
Bowe
Avery (only played five games, caught the most yards during week 1)
Wilson
Hemingway (caught the most yards during week 5)
Jenkins (only played seven games)
Hammond
Avant (only played five games, caught Smith's longest in air pass at 41 yards)

Now, we can see that there was some upheaval during '14. Avery and Jenkins got hurt. However, we added Hammond, Wilson, and Avant eventually. Together they accounted for 457 yards, which is pretty decent for two UDFAs and a guy who got added in late in the year. All in all, I would call this an upgrade at the position, however slight it may be. Despite the problems, this crew still caught 45% of all of Smith's passing yards. That's not good enough to win you many games, though. You need points, as John Madden would say. So, let's work to find out why no TDs were scored.

The most glaring statistical truth is in where Smith throws the ball. According to ESPN, only three of Smith's passes over 20 yards were completed. He made eighteen attempts. Between 20-30 yards he was 1/11, with a longest of 25. He was 1/6 in passes between thirty and forty yards, with a longest of 41. The one attempt over forty yards was the Avant catch in the Cardinals game. 96% of Smith's yards were due to passes within twenty yards, including a whopping 1,780 yards within ten yards. You'll find that most receivers are lined out in those areas. Compare this with the fact that 59% of KC's passing yards were after the catch (per nfl.com) and we start to notice a pattern (This stat considers all of KC's passing yards, including Chase Daniel's. Daniel is only responsible for 157 yards this year, however, so his effect is negligible) An offense based around Alex Smith is, by definition, a dink and dunk offense, relying on catching RBs and good TEs, plus a good running game. However, you'd like to think most dink and dunks are good enough to have a few long passes, right? Smith still was able to throw for 1,779 yards during three WR sets, so it wasn't like they weren't out there getting field time. This enormous discrepancy means that our offensive is extremely predictable, which is something no one wants. Let's also take into consideration that Smith was pretty stingy with TDs in general! Only 18 thrown, which is as many as Kyle Orton who played for three less games. 15 of those TDs were either caught behind the line of scrimmage or less than ten yards away.

I'm going to repeat that. If you skipped over most of this post, focus here:

FIFTEEN OF SMITH'S TOUCHDOWNS WERE IN PASSES UNDER TEN YARDS. ZERO WERE THROWN OVER TWENTY YARDS

What this means is that Smith dink and dunks his way all the way to the end zone. He does not use his receivers in a way that makes them able to score a single point. How can they? The offense is designed to be as successful as possible with Smith at the helm. Smith is not asked to throw deep balls. Receivers falter. We can argue about how effective the corps was but worse QBs have actually thrown TDs to their receivers. Hell, Bryan Hoyer did it EIGHT times with a thousand fewer yards and corps that, arguably is just as bad if not worse.

What does this mean? Alex Smith cost us points and ultimately games. He cannot consistently hit receivers over long distances. This limits our offensive capabilities enormously. We were one win away from the playoffs. How many of those losses can we chalk up to Smith and his disdain for the long ball? We finished 9-7 with no receiver touchdowns, but when three players catch 5/6 of your TDs (Charles, Kelce, Fasano) you are one injury away from a disaster. Smith is taking away the ability to score for most of our offensive players. We cannot function like that, especially given how tough our schedule is next year.


Phew. That was some work. Let's talk about something else. Like how expensive Smith is! 4 years, 68 mill, 45mil guaranteed. What of the above makes him worth 45 million dollars? That's also the second most guaranteed money in a non-rookie QB (first is Matt Stafford, interestingly enough). He also received an 18 million dollar signing bonus in addition to a 1 million dollar salary this year. Meanwhile, depth was an issue this year...
Speaking of depth, let's also consider that Smith was a trade. A '13 second rounder (#34 overall) and a conditional '14 3rd that became a 2nd if the Chiefs went 8-8. We did so that became the 56th pick. Of course, the Niners did some trading mastery and managed to get the following trades done with our picks:

2013: #34 for #40 plus 2014 3rd (#77) and 2013 7th (#216)
That seventh was used to trade up in the third with the Packers (#93 and #216 for #88) which was used to select Corey Lemonier. Meanwhile, the Niners took Tank Carradine with #40.

2014: Ok, try and follow this one. Traded 2014 second round pick (#63), 2014 fifth round pick (#171), 2015 fourth round pick (#126) to 49ers for 2014 second round pick (#56-), 2014 seventh round pick (#242) THEN Traded 2014 second round pick (#63), 2014 fifth round pick (#171) to Dolphins for 2014 second round pick (#57). #57 became Carlos Hyde. Thankfully, #77 was easy and they just took Chris Borland there.

2015: #126-Mike Davis

So, that's five players that they managed to make out of one trade. Meanwhile, KC is still suffering depth positions. We could debate just how KC would use the picks they had and who ultimately won the trade, but the fact is that we could have used those picks. We cut half the roster when Dorsey took over. The trade wasn't worth it and neither was the extension.


Finally, let's end this up with something no one can argue. Alex Smith is the most boring man alive. On and off the field. Anybody got an interesting Alex Smith story that isn't "saw him in a Home Depot once"? If you're going to suck, then at least be funny about it.

Now, I encourage you to come to your own conclusions. I will fault no one for doing so. Here is some more info related to Smith's dismal year from other sources. Many of you have probable seen the Reddit post cataloging many of the possible receiver TDs of the past season (link is here, in case you haven't: http://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/2ywoim/got_bored_and_collected_all_of_chiefs_wrs_almost) Now, I hate Reddit as much as any red-blooded goon but this post does bring up some surprising bits of info. Namely, the poster could only find instances from six games (seven if you count Daniel's game on Week 17). Now, that's not a lot to extrapolate from but it is interesting how few and far between the opportunities were. It's also worth noting that, if we look, only two of the failures are the fault of the receivers. (surprise, surprise, they're both A.J. Jenkins!) Two are deflections (Denver, Jets), at least three are good coverage (Pittsburgh #1 and both New England). The second Pittsburgh gif (seen here: http://gfycat.com/KeyFavorableIrishwaterspaniel) is a bad pass from Smith. Wilson was clear but Smith overshot him. This is recurring theme. Now, these are not all the instances of KC targeting WRs near the endzone so we can't take this info as gospel but it is worth adding as proof of Smith's inability. Similarly, here's another article detailing lots of Smith's failures even if the author does go out of his way to try and find good things Smith did: http://www.arrowheadpride.com/2015/2/10/7928529/alex-smith-pass-2014-kansas-city-chiefs-season. Ultimately, I would reccommend that you look at both of those links and form your own opinions.

Parmesan Basil fucked around with this message at 03:40 on May 4, 2015

MrLogan
Feb 4, 2004

Ask me about Derek Carr's stolen MVP awards, those dastardly refs, and, oh yeah, having the absolute worst fucking gimmick in The Football Funhouse.
Khalif Barnes.

JPrime
Jul 4, 2007

tales of derring-do, bad and good luck tales!
College Slice
Ryan Lindley may be a wonderful human being, but I don't ever want to see him near my team ever again. No hard feelings, Lindley, just go away.

TNG
Jan 4, 2001

by Lowtax
gently caress Perrish Cox.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Aaron Dobson.

It's never gonna happen. Just get cut already so we can all move on.

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer
Kroy Biermann



Husband, father, football player, Atlanta Falcon, noted douche bag. He was a perennial try-hard special teams player who got a chance to become a full time starter because of a most improbable play. Once upon a time he tipped a pass, caught it, and ran it in for a touchdown. IN CLEVELAND

The event for your viewing pleasure, it is in fact a funny play (Sorry about the quality):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0SG6S4E1ow

The day that will live in infamy, because it was the start of 4 years of mediocrity.

This is the kind of thing that franchise heroes are made of; a long resume of improbable nonsense that fans think of fondly when their name is spoken. When I utter the name Kroy Biermann amongst Falcons fans, to this day, someone says, "He's awesome, he picked his own tipped pass and ran it in for a touchdown!"

:ughh:

That was five loving years ago and no one wonders why they can't think of anything incredible he's done since then?

Kroy Biermann is one of the many reasons why the Falcons have had such an anemic pass rush for the past 4 seasons. We had John Abraham in good form until 2011 when his production slid a little bit. In 2012, his production was noticeably worse and he was cut (much to my disdain, but that's really more for my Thomas Dimitroff Rant). We tried and failed several times to complement Abraham.

We drafted Jamaal Anderson, noted draft bust and Ludacris stunt double.



We signed Ray Edwards, noted free-agent bust who retired from football and became a boxer.



Ah, the sweet science. He was not a sweet pass rusher in Atlanta though, which is all I give a poo poo about in the context of Ray Edwards.

Enter Biermann, he got his chance at snaps on defense because Ray Edwards proved to be worthless, and then he poo poo magic on a football field in Cleveland, Ohio. All of the sudden, he was a household name in Atlanta and eventually courted noted reality TV diva Kim Zolciak. Things looked good for the Beer Man. He was an upside special teams player who looked to be an answer to a question Atlanta had been asking for a long time. He just married a woman with perfect spherical breasts, fame, and money.

But then... he wasn't very good at football. Turns out, he was just a try-hard special teamer who got lucky. Before I realized it, Abraham was gone and Kroy was the STARTER at defensive end. He couldn't stop the run, couldn't pursue Tight Ends in space (which would be one of things that cost us the NFCCG in 2012), and was a liability in coverage... all the while being touted as a marquee, versatile player in the Mike Nolan system. He's bad guys, real bad. He truly was a jack of all trades, in that he was jack poo poo at everything a starting defensive end is asked to do.

Then I smelled freedom. Like Andy Dufresne emerging from his tunnel of poo poo, I raised my arms to the sky and screamed triumphantly at God. His contract was up in 2014. He wasn't going to be my Sunday let-down anymore and surely he wouldn't catch on ANYWHERE. But then, in a recurring nightmare I can't wake up from; Thomas Dimitroff resigned Kroy Biermann. Likely because he's one of the very few players that he's drafted who has seen any kind of success outside of Matt Ryan and William Moore.

My hate for this man is less about what he is and more about what he isn't and what his improbable success in 2010 did to the trajectory of this franchise. If he'd been garbage then, maybe the front office wouldn't have thought they had an upside guy who could work into being a starter... maybe they'd have tried to address the pass rush sooner.

NOPE. In the end, here we are. Vic Beasley is starting to look like a bust name to me, because I can't trust that the Falcons can have nice things.

Chilichimp fucked around with this message at 14:09 on May 4, 2015

Beautiful Ninja
Mar 26, 2009

Five time FCW Champion...of my heart.
Mark Sanchez, you mother fucker. The Jets were not just good during the late 2000's and early 2010's, they were amazing. One of the best defenses of all time, a fantastic run game. And then there was you. Your incredible ability to turn the ball over at the worst possible time is what you'll be remembered for. No one is going to remember you going to back to back AFC Championship games. No one is going to remember the victories over Peyton Manning and Tom Brady in the playoffs. They will remember you for this and this alone.

A quarterback fumble off he own lineman rear end
A shameful quarterback

The worst part? We replaced him with a worse version of himself. Both have flashes of competency, then both remind us they are allergic to footballs. I'm hoping Fitz brings a stable mediocrity, that's all we need to win with what looks to be our quarterback eating front seven and the return of Revis Island.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
Shonn Greene is the worst hb on this planet and will be extremely happy when he gets cut

Anals of History
Jul 29, 2003

I don't hate J.J. Watt as a person or player, but I hate everyone who holds up him as any kind of platonic ideal for a football player/man or as a foil to "thugs." Watt enables so many wannabe Cowherds to come out of the woodwork that I kinda wish Watt went full Josh Hamilton and cratered in the most humiliating way possible.

Parmesan Basil
Nov 12, 2008

TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK
Ok, I've edited my second post. I'm going to bed now. Good night.

Petey
Nov 26, 2005

For who knows what is good for a person in life, during the few and meaningless days they pass through like a shadow? Who can tell them what will happen under the sun after they are gone?

Beautiful Ninja posted:

Mark Sanchez, you mother fucker

please change the name of tff to this

Chromatic
Jan 21, 2005

You guys ready to hear a satanic song?

Parmesan Basil posted:

Alex Smith is the worst quarterback.

It's as beautiful as I thought it would be.

Edit: I almost want you to post this to the Chiefs subreddit just so we can see the drama and implosion that piece would provide.

Chromatic fucked around with this message at 04:20 on May 4, 2015

Cash Monet
Apr 5, 2009

I hate Nick Foles because people were convinced he was good after he padded his stats against lovely defenses. Boy is he a steaming pile of average.

Parmesan Basil posted:

Ok, I've edited my second post. I'm going to bed now. Good night.

Glad you're back. :allears:

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

I hate Cam Newton

Because I love him so much that he makes me question my sexuality


Actual Hate:
Jimmy Graham - less because he's productive and scores against the panthers (a lot) it's because he's a giant pussy. He likes to lie on the ground like he's been shot when someone gives him a little shove after a play, likes to take cheap shots at players legs around piles and tries to be tough until a linebacker gets in his face then he hides. To top it off he's only ever gone over a thousand yards twice and benefitted from an offense that was very much tailored around putting him in position to succeed. I hope he bottoms massively in Seattle. Also he doesn't block with a lot of effort which makes him a poo poo tight end. Also he looks weird as gently caress.

Homestar Runner
Oct 9, 2012

This is the best videogame
I have ever played!
Below is a compilation of TFF posts I've made over the years, selected entirely at random --


Homestar Runner posted:

Why is Andre Caldwell allowed within 100ft of the stadium, let alone being used (badly) in numerous game situations?


Homestar Runner posted:

Why hasn't Andre Caldwell been catapulted into a cotton field yet, Rex Banner style?


Homestar Runner posted:

WHYYYYY IS ANDRE CALDWELL ON THE FIELD JESUS gently caress


Homestar Runner posted:

So today I did my weekly google of Andre Caldwell to find out which colonial-era cannon was chosen for his well deserved firing into the sun ... and WTF no official launch date has been set yet



what is the hold up :confused:


Homestar Runner posted:

:respek:


Andre Caldwell is very bad at the footballs


Homestar Runner posted:

Andre Caldwell status: still employed


conclusion: uhh must have incriminating Elway photos :shrug:


Homestar Runner posted:

ANDRE CALDWELL = LE SUX







Andre Caldwell. Not even once.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
gently caress BRIAN RUSSELL



I HATE BRIAN RUSSELL



BRIAN RUSSELL IS SO loving BAD



gently caress YOU

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
I just realized that this thread was supposed to be about current players, but the general point stands. Brian Russell was the worst and nobody should forget it.

Yoshifan823
Feb 19, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
For whatever reason, the single player who has captured my hate more than anyone else in the entire league for as long as I've actually cared about football is Drew Brees. gently caress Drew Brees. gently caress his dumb team, gently caress his dumb face, gently caress his dumb Jimmy Johns, gently caress his awful receivers, gently caress his dumb republican views, and gently caress his short-rear end self that somehow sets fire to the defenses of other teams like the Human Goddamn Torch. I hope all of his receivers bust, he can't find a release valve as good as Jimmy Graham, and he throws 40 INTs this year. He took a team that should have had so much good will after the torment that the city went through, and shat on it by being Drew Brees.

gently caress Drew Brees.

HOTLANTA MAN
Jul 4, 2010

by Hand Knit
Lipstick Apathy
Do coaches count because if so I will would be happy to beat Norv Turner to death with a hammer if called upon to do so.

Sour Diesel
Jan 30, 2010

i'm still mad at kyle boller

No Safe Word
Feb 26, 2005

I mean he retired but Cortland Finnegan can go suck a gently caress

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

HOTLANTA MAN posted:

Do coaches count because if so I will would be happy to beat Norv Turner to death with a hammer if called upon to do so.

I plan on doing a GM post this week, so why not?

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World

NC-17 posted:

Aaron Dobson.

It's never gonna happen. Just get cut already so we can all move on.

And they could have had Terrance Williams instead!

I don't really hate him because he just blends in with all the other wide receiver busts. There have been like a half dozen of them so they all run together for me. Same for all bad cornerback picks.

Terrell Suggs is a wife beating, child abusing loving scumbag who the media fawns over. How the actual gently caress do you people think it's OK to dedicate air time to kiss-rear end interviews of a living pile of diarrheal pig poo poo who threatened to pour bleach on a 1 year old kid and beats the poo poo out of mom in front of the kids? He's such a loving transcendent turd as a human being, but somehow he's flown under the radar even more than Ray Lewis being an accessory to murder, which is saying a lot.

If slipped and fell into a grease fire I'd start making s'mores.

sword_man.gif
Apr 12, 2007

Fun Shoe

Chilichimp posted:

I plan on doing a GM post this week, so why not?

what do you even do besides scrawl "thomas dimitroff is a loving douchebag idiot" 1000 times on the walls

FeedingHam2Cats
Nov 10, 2009

Beautiful Ninja posted:

No one is going to remember you going to back to back AFC Championship games. No one is going to remember the victories over Peyton Manning and Tom Brady in the playoffs. They will remember you for this and this alone.


Actually I will always remember this, and laugh heartily

FeedingHam2Cats
Nov 10, 2009

Anyway, the player I hate the most is probably Cam Cameron. Or Lee Evans. One of these is a player and one is a coach but I don't really care they are both fuckers

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

sword_man.gif posted:

what do you even do besides scrawl "thomas dimitroff is a loving douchebag idiot" 1000 times on the walls

Welp, that's ruined. Gotta come up with something else now.

Thaddius the Large
Jul 5, 2006

It's in the five-hole!

Chilichimp posted:

Kroy Biermann



Husband, father, football player, Atlanta Falcon, noted douche bag. He was a perennial try-hard special teams player who got a chance to become a full time starter because of a most improbable play. Once upon a time he tipped a pass, caught it, and ran it in for a touchdown. IN CLEVELAND

The event for your viewing pleasure, it is in fact a funny play (Sorry about the quality):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0SG6S4E1ow

The day that will live in infamy, because it was the start of 4 years of mediocrity.

This is the kind of thing that franchise heroes are made of; a long resume of improbable nonsense that fans think of fondly when their name is spoken. When I utter the name Kroy Biermann amongst Falcons fans, to this day, someone says, "He's awesome, he picked his own tipped pass and ran it in for a touchdown!"

:ughh:

That was five loving years ago and no one wonders why they can't think of anything incredible he's done since then?

Kroy Biermann is one of the many reasons why the Falcons have had such an anemic pass rush for the past 4 seasons. We had John Abraham in good form until 2011 when his production slid a little bit. In 2012, his production was noticeably worse and he was cut (much to my disdain, but that's really more for my Thomas Dimitroff Rant). We tried and failed several times to complement Abraham.

We drafted Jamaal Anderson, noted draft bust and Ludacris stunt double.



We signed Ray Edwards, noted free-agent bust who retired from football and became a boxer.



Ah, the sweet science. He was not a sweet pass rusher in Atlanta though, which is all I give a poo poo about in the context of Ray Edwards.

Enter Biermann, he got his chance at snaps on defense because Ray Edwards proved to be worthless, and then he poo poo magic on a football field in Cleveland, Ohio. All of the sudden, he was a household name in Atlanta and eventually courted noted reality TV diva Kim Zolciak. Things looked good for the Beer Man. He was an upside special teams player who looked to be an answer to a question Atlanta had been asking for a long time. He just married a woman with perfect spherical breasts, fame, and money.

But then... he wasn't very good at football. Turns out, he was just a try-hard special teamer who got lucky. Before I realized it, Abraham was gone and Kroy was the STARTER at defensive end. He couldn't stop the run, couldn't pursue Tight Ends in space (which would be one of things that cost us the NFCCG in 2012), and was a liability in coverage... all the while being touted as a marquee, versatile player in the Mike Nolan system. He's bad guys, real bad. He truly was a jack of all trades, in that he was jack poo poo at everything a starting defensive end is asked to do.

Then I smelled freedom. Like Andy Dufresne emerging from his tunnel of poo poo, I raised my arms to the sky and screamed triumphantly at God. His contract was up in 2014. He wasn't going to be my Sunday let-down anymore and surely he wouldn't catch on ANYWHERE. But then, in a recurring nightmare I can't wake up from; Thomas Dimitroff resigned Kroy Biermann. Likely because he's one of the very few players that he's drafted who has seen any kind of success outside of Matt Ryan and William Moore.

My hate for this man is less about what he is and more about what he isn't and what his improbable success in 2010 did to the trajectory of this franchise. If he'd been garbage then, maybe the front office wouldn't have thought they had an upside guy who could work into being a starter... maybe they'd have tried to address the pass rush sooner.

NOPE. In the end, here we are. Vic Beasley is starting to look like a bust name to me, because I can't trust that the Falcons can have nice things.

I like Kroy, because he's one of the closest things to a moderately successful player to come out of University of Montana in the NFL. Otherwise we have a kicker, a couple of third string/backup corners, and a few special teamers, but Kroy was a starter for a while, damnit!

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Thaddius the Large posted:

I like Kroy, because he's one of the closest things to a moderately successful player to come out of University of Montana in the NFL. Otherwise we have a kicker, a couple of third string/backup corners, and a few special teamers, but Kroy was a starter for a while, damnit!

I feel :unsmith: for your school and understand your homerism, but Kroy Biermann isn't good as football. :colbert:

Borsche69
May 8, 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r-VOHsZxTs

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

This doesn't seem fair, somehow.

Doltos
Dec 28, 2005

🤌🤌🤌
Desean Jackson loving blows.

We are in a golden age of receiving where there's so many guys out there who move like Barry Sanders in the open field or catch balls in the radius of a barn and yet people hitch their wagon to this showboating, overrated, garbage rear end player. We're in a league where players try to learn a multitude of routes combined with perfect footwork and timing just to create separation for a brief fraction of a second, and yet people think Jackson is a top 10 WR in the league.

The key to any football play is to create possibilities that the defensive coordinator has to take into consideration. A player who can be a threat in multiple ways is inherently more valuable because he'll be harder to match up against. It's logical; a TE that can block and catch should be more valuable because it means the defensive play caller doesn't know what is more likely going to happen after the snap. A RB that can't pass block or catch passes usually means its a run play when he's in, so the defensive coordinator can limit the likelihood that he's going to get burned by a pass and thus call a better high percentage play. Desean Jackson is a loving one note WR that can only run deep, no one gives a poo poo about him.

Seriously look at his catch and target rate. The guy puts up huge YPC on relatively small catches because most of the time he's totally covered. What good is that? He's loving Corey Brewer. He's the loving kid that cherry picked in backyard football and thought he was the poo poo because people got tired of covering him deep all the time. That poo poo doesn't work in the NFL. And this rear end in a top hat is the prime example of why stats don't matter. Yeah you pick up your yards and TDs because you're fast as poo poo and defenses are bound to gently caress up against that, but what have your teams ever done? Any defensive coordinator worth his salt focused on Jackson with single safety over the top coverage and overload blitz's to the strong side, thus making Jackson totally loving useless because he can't run routes. Then Eagles purists come out and claim he does when he blatantly loving doesn't, and lo and behold the second he goes to Washington some of these fans start realizing all the limitations on Jackson.

It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't such a loving annoying showboat. He's that kid that cheeses with the golden gun in 007 and thinks he's bad rear end. His fans are even worse. gently caress this guy.

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer
This thread owns, but I'd like to see more "least favorite player on your favorite team" posts and less shots at obvious targets.

This is TFF, we've wrung a lot of bad players through the wringer, I want to know about the grade A poo poo bags you're forced to endure every Sunday.

rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


This thread made me realize that I feel nothing but pity for everyone stuck being a Cleveland Brown. :smith:

Archo
Nov 5, 2002
Anime King
Tom loving Brady.

He has to be the luckiest mother fucker to ever sniff a football field let alone play on one. Backing into the greatest coach of all time, fantastic defenses, arguably the best front office, randy moss, and a team that can't figure out how to run a game winning touchdown in. And because of all this bullshit that had nothing to do with him I have to suffer through people having the balls to tell me he's a better quarterback than Peyton Manning. Please diaf Brady

weird Asian candy
Aug 23, 2005

Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.
poo poo's about to get real up in here

e:

Content...gently caress Russell Wilson, he annoys the piss out of me.

weird Asian candy fucked around with this message at 16:28 on May 4, 2015

v2vian man
Sep 1, 2007

Only question I
ever thought was hard
was do I like Kirk
or do I like Picard?

Great White Hope posted:

This thread made me realize that I feel nothing but pity for everyone stuck being a Cleveland Brown. :smith:

same, i haven't really particularly felt mad toward a player since derek anderson

like how could you get mad at colt mccoy, it was like watching a kitten trying to solve a math problem

Flikken
Oct 23, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

football fuckerman posted:

same, i haven't really particularly felt mad toward a player since derek anderson

like how could you get mad at colt mccoy, it was like watching a kitten trying to solve a math problem

Owen Marecic, just because we got rid of a pro bowl full back for one that didn't block or catch or anything at all.

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Spring Break My Heart
Feb 15, 2012

Doltos posted:

Seriously look at his catch and target rate. The guy puts up huge YPC on relatively small catches because most of the time he's totally covered. What good is that? He's loving Corey Brewer. He's the loving kid that cherry picked in backyard football and thought he was the poo poo because people got tired of covering him deep all the time. That poo poo doesn't work in the NFL. And this rear end in a top hat is the prime example of why stats don't matter. Yeah you pick up your yards and TDs because you're fast as poo poo and defenses are bound to gently caress up against that, but what have your teams ever done? Any defensive coordinator worth his salt focused on Jackson with single safety over the top coverage and overload blitz's to the strong side, thus making Jackson totally loving useless because he can't run routes. Then Eagles purists come out and claim he does when he blatantly loving doesn't, and lo and behold the second he goes to Washington some of these fans start realizing all the limitations on Jackson.
The Eagles have made the playoffs a bunch of times and went deep once with DeSean there, they've had very good offenses with DeSean there with him obviously contributing to it and he's put up numbers against good defenses and in high leverage situations before. Much better receivers than DeSean have experienced less team success so I don't see where all the "What have your teams ever done" talk would make sense. If all he has is speed than how come other receivers who are just as fast haven't done nearly as well? And either there's been like 2 defensive coordinators in the league since DeSean came in who are 'worth their salt' or it's not as automatic as you think it is.

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