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smoobles

things i liked about the movie:

- the avengers are always cracking wise, and having a good time, even when they're fighting a serious battle
- ultron looks at the internet for ten seconds and decides humanity ought to be destroyed (seems right)

things i didnt like about the movie:

- black widow / hulk romance subplot was dumb
- nothing really happened, every character was the same at the end as at the beginning. at least in the first one they were all meeting up for the first time, which was cool.

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Qwerinty

by zen death robot
Age of Ultron: Like, a week, tops

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

smoobles

also it's funny to me that the avengers won't assemble for something as big as the events of winter soldier, but they will assemble for a party

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

joke_explainer


smoobles posted:

also it's funny to me that the avengers won't assemble for something as big as the events of winter soldier, but they will assemble for a party

they're really busy.

yeah I also don't like, get how someone like Ultron couldn't have made a backup plan. Like, "What if they somehow destroy all my bodies in this big fight?" I mean. He had weeks of basically unrestrained access to wherever. He could have just like, given some of his bodies a shovel and told them to go bury themselves somewhere and surface in like a month and check if the plan worked or whatever.

Also when the scarlet witch is mad so she goes to rip out the big Ultron's heart, like. That's like smashing a computer monitor to stop a computer. It meant nothing, and she let the switch she just swore to protect get flipped for it.

Overall it was an entertaining but pointless movie. Yeah there was no narrative arc for anyone. The starting point is "they're badasses" and the ending point is, "still badasses, but maybe they're less confident or something?". As much as I loved Vision in the comic books, just randomly adding a new protagonist in the last 3rd of your movie and having him kill the BBEG seemed kind of weird. But, they did totally nail Vision's weird flowing cape.

Also, why isn't Tony Stark getting brought up on charges for reckless endangerment at least with all the people Ultron killed? I mean. He is directly responsible for the event, his actions were risky and the safeguards he had in place were apparently incredibly inadequate. The only reason every country didn't get nuked to pieces is because some rogue part of another thing he saved happened to survive, apparently? They made a big deal about Hulk's rampage meaning he might go to jail or whatever, but nobody wants to arrest Tony Stark? He just, does whatever he wants and the government's like 'Oh well he's iron man.'

joke_explainer


If you created a computer program that hacked into the nuclear control computers and almost successfully launched every nuke, I think you would go to prison for a long time even if it was a total accident...

Savage For The Winjun


that is actually exactly the reason they leave tony stark alone, hes the goddamn iron man

Qwerinty

by zen death robot
The answer to all these problems is that the movie and franchise is real bad, alternatively, just repeat yourself it's just a show and you really should relax (for mystery science theater 3000)

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Pomp

by Fluffdaddy
black widow hulk roma nce was dumb because in canon he's actually my boyfriend

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

i am he

Pomp posted:

black widow hulk roma nce was dumb because in canon he's actually my boyfriend

lol

i am he

the romance was in avengers 1 too

Looke

smoobles posted:

- black widow / hulk romance subplot was dumb


i pictured the hulk plowing her throughout the whole movie

a cloth map

No thanks. I'm a Government man.
I liked the Vision/Thor bromance.

drilldo squirt

a beautiful, soft meat sack
If the hulk can control himself while all green why is he scared of boning black widow? Makes no sense.

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drilldo squirt

a beautiful, soft meat sack
Who is jarvis suposed to be now anyway?

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the unabonger
the vision

drilldo squirt

a beautiful, soft meat sack
He looks like someone saw manhattan from the watchmen and gave him a worse color scheme and pants.

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google THIS

I think the vision is p. true to life from the comic book design

also this one just didn't feel as epic as the first one to me, a wisecracking robot and his army of similar robots just doesn't top a fleet of giant flying interdimensional oarfish

saboten

i haven't seen some of the other movies so whenever something i didnt recognise was mentioned i was like "ugghhhhh what's that is that important has it been explained in another film or is this brand new informationnnnnnn"

but mostly i didnt care and it was ok and theyre all very beautiful

thank u bacalou

tao of lmao

i'd rather watch fast and furious

google THIS

"we still didn't feel like paying natalie portman to make an appearance and this time also gwyneth paltrow, but rest assured, their characters still exist"

blinking beacon nose

birthday frog comes bearing gifts and special birthday wishes

Qwerinty posted:

The answer to all these problems is that the movie and franchise is real bad,

joke_explainer


saboten posted:

i haven't seen some of the other movies so whenever something i didnt recognise was mentioned i was like "ugghhhhh what's that is that important has it been explained in another film or is this brand new informationnnnnnn"

but mostly i didnt care and it was ok and theyre all very beautiful

almost everything is a reference to something else .. it's kind of nuts, almost no effort put in for a new viewer, they're just like 'go watch everything we've made." even that weird ballet school for assassins: that's from agent carter. there's more stuff from agents of shield too. so not just movies but tv shows too...

one thing that was super weird. halfway through all the characters with their own movies decide to go try to figure poo poo out on their own. Thor goes to Stellan Skarsgård, and is like, "I need your help." What does he need that physics guys help for? Apparently, to help him bathe in an unexplained, never-mentioned magic pool that gives you more info on your dreams. I don't think Stellan Skarsgård's character is really an expert on that and then they just don't mention it again. It was weird.

google THIS

joke_explainer posted:

almost everything is a reference to something else .. it's kind of nuts, almost no effort put in for a new viewer, they're just like 'go watch everything we've made." even that weird ballet school for assassins: that's from agent carter. there's more stuff from agents of shield too. so not just movies but tv shows too...

one thing that was super weird. halfway through all the characters with their own movies decide to go try to figure poo poo out on their own. Thor goes to Stellan Skarsgård, and is like, "I need your help." What does he need that physics guys help for? Apparently, to help him bathe in an unexplained, never-mentioned magic pool that gives you more info on your dreams. I don't think Stellan Skarsgård's character is really an expert on that and then they just don't mention it again. It was weird.

apparently it was to learn how to make Frankenstein lightning to fuse an ai with an artificial body with the help of an infinity stone he just happened to have on him, which most theoretical astrophysicists learn how to do in undergrad

google THIS fucked around with this message at 16:56 on May 5, 2015

i am he

google THIS posted:

apparently it was to learn how to make Frankenstein lightning to fuse an ai with an artificial body with the help of an infinity stone he just happened to have on him, which most theoretical astrophysicists learn in undergrad

the infinity stone was in the body already.. duh

google THIS

they're finding them so easily now they don't even get names anymore. the Tesseract, the Aether, and, uh, the purple one and the yellow one

joke_explainer


google THIS posted:

apparently it was to learn how to make Frankenstein lightning to fuse an ai with an artificial body with the help of an infinity stone he just happened to have on him, which most theoretical astrophysicists learn how to do in undergrad

Yeah, I think Ultron puts the infinity stone from loki's scepter into the body. lol, I thought he was trying to destroy the body but if he actually was trying to make it wake up then that's even crazier. "Everyone! I tripped the hell out after soaking myself in some musty cave water! I know what to do!"

i am he

joke_explainer posted:

Yeah, I think Ultron puts the infinity stone from loki's scepter into the body. lol, I thought he was trying to destroy the body but if he actually was trying to make it wake up then that's even crazier. "Everyone! I tripped the hell out after soaking myself in some musty cave water! I know what to do!"

he knew.. he says "tony's right i had a vision" or w/e and overcharges it with lightning which works really well

google THIS

anyway, looking forward to The Avengers vs. Thanos' Chin Parts I and II

joke_explainer


"I need to talk to someone really smart, who I can also trust who is not an Avenger. Hmm... My brilliant girlfriend, or Erik Selvig. Gotta go with the old man on this one. Something shady about my girlfriend..."

joke_explainer


maybe he checked facebook and Selvig just happened to be in the same town as the magic water pool and figured, hey, good opportunity to catch up

blinking beacon nose

birthday frog comes bearing gifts and special birthday wishes
hell I didn't even understand the first Avenfers

But I guess that was because I stopped playing attention

google THIS

it's really almost exactly like a big crossover comic and was created for the same reason, all that's missing are the asterisks next to the dialog with the footnotes that say things like THOR #69 to make it easier for you to buy the other thing they're referencing

i am he

remember the banksy reference...

Qwerinty

by zen death robot

i am he posted:

remember the banksy reference...

*looks at blood smeared on the wall, next to corpse* banksy, a terrorist, did this

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Looke

Bwee
apparently josh whedon quit twitter? owned

i am he

Bwee posted:

apparently josh whedon quit twitter? owned

lol good. that guy sucks.

smoobles

Bwee posted:

apparently josh whedon quit twitter? owned

he got called out on black widow being a terrible character, even though all the characters were terrible

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google THIS


this after they spent ten minutes of dialog explaining to each other that they were sterile

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Bwee

smoobles posted:

he got called out on black widow being a terrible character, even though all the characters were terrible

poor baby... running away from twitter... is this what it's like, to be the b ad man, to be the sad man

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