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Crawl tip for new-comers: if the vietnamese guy you buy mexican take out from has taken the day off, you dont freak out, look throughout get some cereal and eat that for dinner.
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May 19, 2015 08:49
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aww poo poo... gently caress what a bad page sbnipe. god dammit!!
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May 19, 2015 08:50
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 Sigils Always Work allow me to explain a little how i did this... chaos magic isnt supernatural it's based in quantum mechanics and self evident truths about the nature of mind. the simplest explanation is Intent+Ritual+Gnosis. In this example our intent was to find a certain spellbook in crawl. The ritual was the creation of the sigil. Orgasm is the easiest and effective at all skill levels to enter gnosis. dreams may not have meaning but freudian slips do in how telepathy is a personality style rather than a ssupernatural phenomneenon. A verbal freudian slip for example would be yelling "Touch my cock!" instead of saying normally "dont touch my coke" loudly in front of everyone. High level of introspection and self awareness is real magical freedom. I can remember the very first lie I ever told when I was 3 years old and didn't flush the toilet. "That wasn't me". I only got away with it because my brother reasoned it was too big to be mine. Freudian slips can also be of a body language type. forgetting to put on clothes when answering the front door. putting your hand right next to someone elses. If you've walked out in public on a busy street statistically someone like me has seen your gross sexual secrets expressed through something as subtle as movement in the wrist. How do I know this? thought blocking. chaos magic uses the synthesis of subconscious and unconscious leaking in and out of shared reality. the Evidence is insurmountable. Simply put: our own minds are to us, exactly as incomprehensible as the world at large. For instance one want I have is to handcuff Kara to a radiator or pipe in my basement-basement (i already live in a basement) so that nobody else can have her and she'll never leave me. but I also have the want of giving her all of my money worldly possessions, soul and heart so that she can enjoy it while being the most beautiful girl with whoever she wants instead of me. A rational consciouss mind couldn't possibly want two contradictory things at the same time unless they maybe had 2 brains. This is why you put into your unconsciouss mind (using gnosis) an intent that it comes into being in the shared reality (meat space). asking girls if they're 'single' for the phone call, pegging them as histrionic all whilst holding up thermometer probe covers, it's all magic.  A statue is immune to freudian slips. My character is now powerful enough for any threat.  Mara, Lord of Illusions  Mara's kara-esque sexy daughters cant protect him from a metal octopus tentacle-slapping him to death.
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May 19, 2015 09:42
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played counter-strike instead of crawl tonight. big mistake!! i just got shot up a lot and had to watch my teammates get shot after i died. you cant go fast like you can in quake. no rocket launcher. you only get a finite number of days to live your life and i just wasted this one playing the wrong videogame.
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May 20, 2015 07:03
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The first of the 4 hell realms for me to do is fire hell. Veteran dungeon crawlers refer to this hell as Classic Hell. This will be the easier hell realm for me to roam because switching to dragon form will help me resist the fire enemies and I can turn into a statue if there are sexy monsters in my LOS (line of sight) and the new work schedule is out and even though her hours were reduced every single one of Kara's shifts are at the saem time as me. I thought my nightmare was over but I still have to work with the words most beautiful girl. Sometimes I think my life is just a big prank on me. When I saw her today she gave me a knowing smirk out of the corner of her mouth that said 'im too sexy'. Ive already hurt my ankle because i cant move properly through space if shes too close. It shouldn't be legal for another human to make me feel things that I don't want to feel. She might be annoyed with me for avoiding her but I'm doing it in self defense and maybe id avoid her less if she wore figure hiding clothing and permanently disfigured her perfect angel face so she wouldnt cause my real physical injuries. It's not funny that I'm physdically suffering because shes too pretty. Each of the sections of hell are 7 floors deep, with the first 6 floors being tons of assholes that can cast 'hell'fire' a powerful AC ignoring AoE (area of affect) attack that cannot be evaded. Many hell-monsters, much like kara, have an ability called 'Torment' that only requires LOS and cuts my remaining hit points in half. I dont know what the kara equivalent of hellfire would be. i think something like that scene from a short film about love where the lady touches the weird guy and he cums instantly and then goes to kill himself, except instead of cumming id give her a thousand dollars and I'm not weird.  Out of the oven and into the frying pan here comes trouible. It's the boss of classic hell Asmodeus.  Go To Hell Asmodeus!!!  One hell rune down, 3 more to go. That's hell for you. to de-stress from crawl and kara ive been enjoying kendrick lamars newest ralp album. blacker the berry, is good and i can relate to the song about havinmg a dick that isnt free. I've been repeating "want poo poo to change gotta wash you rear end nigga" in my head all day at work.
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May 21, 2015 07:51
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 there are ice fiends all over the place in this large open space so i have to lure them to the island in the middle while im a statue. regardless of which randomized floor you get Ataneus is always located with the icy rune in the island th at most resembles a triangle. Brr!  I am a dragon and I don't care I just wanna see people scared  Go to hell Ataneus!!  in his last moments antaeus tried to retreat rather than die for his rune of power. Was he more scared of me then I was him? I wonder if he's not so different from me after all? In times of uncertainty I turn to thecrawl wiki. Every page is kept yp to date by the crawling community and everything on it is accurate 100% of the time. The Dungeon Crawl masters have already figured this out. Dont bother worshipping a good god or a bad god because the worlds too confusing and youll just end up doing genocides because its impossible to predict the future and over a long period of time chaos reigns. Just avoid people and don't influence anyone ever.  It's time to 'do' the Iron City of Dis. Dispater lives here within his big fancy mansion with gold coins lying around everwhere.  gently caress off! Go to hell Dispater!!! Some say hes a golem and others say hes a statue. I think hes wearing tough armour that just looks like rocks but one things for sure is that you need to bring out the big guns against the Dispater. Nobody knows what the red lines near the top of him are.  It's death hell, the scariest of all the hell sub realms. The hell lord of death Ereshkigal is in a maze, even though life is a maze. THis is the most dangerous sub hell realm for my character due to silent specters: Ghosts that you cant yell or talk around. Thus stops you from using scrolls, magical spells, and shouting. Hell Lord Ereshkigal has a spell that has the same effect.  I was stressing out about forgot to screenshot the fight again, but heres picture of the boney rune. Kind of looks like a messed up dick to me. Thats maybe why shes hiding it in a maze. Or is she hiding it from herself? The ability for humans to lie to themselves has no limit. I had thought for over 12 years that I had named my 2nd neopet blackmath before the white stripes album of the same name came out. Perhaps I had distorted my memory to protect myself from the guilt of plagiarizing a cool name. Our minds are so fragile *laughs*  I'm done with this hell hole! On my daily exercise walk today I saw a stuffed cartoon owl in daylight with its head ripped open near the neck. It's time to head to pandamonium for 5 more demonic runes. Kara has been looking depressed lately. I hope shes okay but I'm not going to cause her to get hit by a truck 5 years from now by engaging her in conversation.
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May 24, 2015 09:08
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Crawl tip for new-comers: At first sight kite! Manage quite right your line of sight alright to spite smite.
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May 24, 2015 09:14
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Pandamonium time!! Pandamonium is the most exciting part of the extended end game because of the crazzy pre-generated vaults, the demonspawn enemies, and uniquely generated "Pan Lords". Hellion island for instance if my chjaracter is dropped here, will get hellfired to death if too many notice me at the same time. Another interesting part of pandamonium is t hat, like the abyss you cant leave right when you want to. you're obligated to keep searching for an exit through the abyss, or an exit portal back to the dungeon. Pandamonium, like relationships with other people is much like some kind of chore obligation. There are five demonic runes to be found here. it also means I get to add another sailor jerrys bottle tag to my ceiling hook where i collect sailor jerrys bottle tags to my ceiling.
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May 27, 2015 02:01
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 right away theres immediately a "Pan Lord". this guy could have any spell in the game, have anywhere from 68-421 Hit Points. its best to avoid t hese guys but can probably take him.  
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May 27, 2015 02:04
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 Mnoleg the glowing pandemonium lord. This is the easiest one. He has no special powers, he has no spells other than smite, he has a pitiful melee attack and doesnt have anything going for him, except he glows. Not sure why he's in the game. I think the devs thought it would be funny to have one useless bad pan lord, like that teen girl of the x-men that can only shoot useless sparks from her hands. I made short work of ghim 
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May 27, 2015 02:31
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 The shadow darkness pan lord Gloorx Vloq. He's one of the more dangerous pan lords because he's gotta go fast. He hits really hard in melee and when he was in high school he used his powerful intellect to trick other students into buying him cans of coke using mathematical deception. His only weakness for most characters is having a throwing net cast around him. but the rewards for defeating him have a dark side to them...  The Shadow Rune of Zot.
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May 27, 2015 02:46
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 The demonic rune of zot spawns somewhere in pandamonium guarded by a pan lord. Nothing really interesting about it, but this particular pan lord drools a lot according to its description.  I'm getting pretty close to being happy forever.
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May 27, 2015 02:52
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 Lom Lon Bon holds the magical rune of zot, and can summon great orbs of electricity and can cast glaciate, an ice spell the drops an entire glacier on top of you. Luckily I've come prepared with a Terror Phantom Mirror a special magical item that lets me duplicate bad guys.  I'm seeing double -- the incorrect amount of lon lon boms?  It turns out the greatest enemy you can have, is sometimes yourself even if youre resistant to your own attacks.
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May 27, 2015 03:09
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 Sometimes you can find the most beautiful things (psychadelics mushrooms) in a pile of turds. In each moment we experience there's beooty and even in pandamonium, goodness can be found within. This is a rare instance of finding The Shining One's hidden fortr-  ahh a big tall angel, im going to kill it
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May 27, 2015 03:23
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 Cerebov is actually just a regular fire imp,(check his description next time you see him in-game) but a very powerful one that can cast "FireStorm". Despite the name its a fire attack rather than an electricity attack. Dragon form made short work of him.  I wanted aura of abjuration and summon greater demon, but the tentacle spell (malign gateway) will work too. It's thematic for my character because I also use tentacles to attack and because after a few turns the giant tentacle turns neutral and will attack anyone (including the summoner). Freud would concur.  I am exactly one Rune and one Orb away from being happy forever. When I win I'm gonna print my win out on paper and stick in it Kara's and shes going to be so impressed that I can get all the runes, and then maybe I'll have enough confidence to ask her to tone it down a bit because shes too distracting. I deserve to be happy.
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May 27, 2015 03:39
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I wanted to do Tomb of the Ancients tonight but as soon as I saw the entrance my fingers started violently shaking lol so I'm going to wait until I get some Xanax from my drug dealer 'Chiller The Drug Dealer'.
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May 27, 2015 04:33
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My horoscope for the day: "Someone you have to deal with today and tomorrow may seem scary but they are more afraid of you. You always seem self possessed and sure of yourself and it can be quite intimidating!" crazy that it says this on the two days I work with Kara, but its impossible for someone as sexy as her to be intimidated by other people probably. She was wearing sexy perfume that made me horny. Chiller the drug dealer says he has my xanax and I am going to pick it up on Friday night and then I can get the golden rune and t hen the zotted orb and then I can be happy. I'm going to be happy instead of sad. I'm gonna 15 rune dungeon crawl stone soup. I'm hgonna do it!!!! 
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May 28, 2015 07:02
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diary related not crawl related: going to the dentist on tuesday.
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May 28, 2015 07:38
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Managing your mind-space with crawl drugs As a first person shooter prodigy from a poor religious family I grew up playing freeware shooter games like wolfenstein ET and a pirated version of counterstrike where i could only play against bots. But it wasnt enough to just be a videogame genius... I had to win against other players... I had to crush gamer opposition. The human body is the greatest feat of engineering ever but it was created for a time past before our intellect made us too comfgortable. In order to bring out our true gaming potential we need to be using the right kind of drugs Wolfenstein ET: I was too young to be doing drugs when I was known as 'the ghost medic' on the pro servers but in retrospect I believe as little as 25mg of caffeine would have turned me into a living aim-bot, that is if my weak body could keep up with the frags my big brain was creating. Team Fortress 2: 2 small-medium bowls of strong sativa weed and 100mg of caffeine. IT's not just TF2's cartoonish design that's creative, the game mechanics themselves allow for creative approaches, and even now players are still finding novel explosive jumps in old maps. Sativa straisn will help you find these jumps on the fly and as a bonus high people are better at catching disguised enemy spies. Quake: 1 bowl of sativa, 200mg of caffeine and 1 shot of your favorite hard liquor. Quake is very fast paced but also ins anally intelligent like a game of chess. I'll never forget the day I discovered that a bit of alcohol will stop my hands from shaking from too much caffeine. Ever since then I have never once missed an air-shot with the rocket launcher. Quake is the only videogame thats pushed me to my human limits. I once fragged so hard that my mouse arm started going numb and getting pins and needles all over the right sidfe of my body similar to the feeling I get in the bottom of my feet when I orgasm. even though I'm scared of my mind being uploaded, I bet if I were uploaded into a iquake game I would be the best quake player in history without my worthless body's limits getting in the way of my big mind. Chameleon Twist 2: In the life span of our planet there have only been a small handful of world wonders. The galaxys great comets show us theiir beauty up close only every few centuries... So it is a miracle on par to the great acts of saints and sages throughout history that we live in a world where Chameleon Twist 2 is available to anybody with a nintendo 64 gaming console. It's not just a sequel its the concept of taking a videogame and improving it in every possible metric that a videogame can be judged. They didn't just make the controls for Davy's tongue tighter they added an entire new spatial dimensional along which it can be controlled!! 3 complete play thhroughs and I've barely scratched the surface of what can be achieved. The graphics are up there with metroid prime for being ahead of its time and they are not simply graphics they are a means by which the developers achieve a level of visceral story telling unrivaled by contemporary film or television. At no point is dialogue needed to explain to the player your goal fo getting a carrot from each of the levels.... sky land, ice land, great edo land toy land pyramid land are not so much 'vdieogame levels' or 'art pieces' as they are living breathing interactive art worlds. Landing direct rockets in quake is satisfying, but pole vaulting 5 times your own height into the air, only to begin spinning by catching a horizontal pole 30 feet away with your tongue is an act of artistic transcendence. A hilarious joke is to consider the hagia sophia a wonder while chameleon twist 2 is relegated to discount bins at subarb garage sales next to unused dusty exercise equipment because the spoiled little shits are too busy playing MoBa's and watching other people play pokemon blue on youtube. This is a game that demands your full sober attention. Thanksgiving dinner pictionary: 1.5 bottles of red wine is recommended for this game. This should help with sociability, charm, and not freaking out when grandma in law kisses me on the cheek even though ive made it as explicitly clear as possible that I do not wanted to be kissed by her.  in highschool all the adults were really worried about teaching everyone to say no to drugs, which is a big waste of time and money because nobody was offering me drugs even though I really wanted them. Even when I started trying to find drugs, all the drug dealers are bad at their jobs and dont know how to set up meetings or good customer service.  Personally, in my opinion I think drugs are a good thing instead of a bad thing. If everyone took shrooms every couple of weeks then we wouldn't be able to have wars, we'd just spend way more time appreciating nature and being introspective.
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May 31, 2015 05:23
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 Ahh noo the tomb is so dangerous  tomb is so fuckign stresfull lol  something something Dungeon Crawl: Stone Soup blah balh  Durr I'm so wacky duhhhh durr kara is soOoOo sexy doo doo made up crawl fact to sound more knowledgable than i really am and pee pee look how mcuh drugs i have  boring fake posting floor fucker who gives a poo poo the greater mummy's represents my mom or something  obvious sincere cry for help on a comedy forum  Kara is gone forever now. This is an extremely good thing to me because I'm not actually as normal as I present myself on these forums. I suffer from a mental disability called mild erotomania that distorts my perception of meaningless events. Minor coincidences like holding eachotheres gaze from across the office for a long time are perceived to mean "shes attracted to me" when a normal person would conclude that shes most likely just staring at my big jew nose trying to figure out why the rest of my face looks normal. Or how when our eyes meet she tilts her head to the side revealing more of her neck like how a dog does to express sexual submission lol when in real meatspace shes probably doing this because looking at me reminds her of the kink in her neck which shes trying to fix everytime she sees me. Saying her gmail password out loud 5 times complimenting me initiating conversations and putting her body near mine shoving candles under my nose while giggling when i fumble with things even though I go out of my way not to talk to her or acknowledge h er existence any more than necessary are allt hings that normal coworkers do all the time. But my mild erotomania makes my life like that thing where someone agresively waves their hands in your face yelling "not touchng you cant get mad, not touching you cant get mad" except she can do it even when I'm not looking at her because she wears stupid fucknig boots with bells on them that jingle while she walks giving my minds eye a perfect vision of both her feet and therefore also her perfect butt moving around in space-time. On rainy days she gets all wet & moist from the juicy air. She's right' I can't get mad. Just to clear up a misconception some posters have about me: I'm not a depressed virgoon. I don't suffer from a mood disorder and my penis has been inside a 30+ year old massage parlor prostitute for >1:00 minute(s) so I'm not a virgin either. I think a lot about philosophical questions such as "nature vs. nurture" alot because I'm so smart. When did I develop mild erotomania? I think it happened in grade 2 when I tried to get my first crush to vote for me in an art contest by dropping a bit of dirt in her hair so that when she'd brush it off it would look like her hand was raised for the vote. It's a tactic I learned from shaggy and scooby that they used to get out of investigating the scary ghost but in real life she'll just yell at you and t hen vote for erics artwork which was just a crude crayon drawing of his #1 sports award ribbon. I wanted to win a race to impress her so I pretended I was dead so hard that it didn't hurt when I broke my ankle pushing off from the wall for a starting advantage. It was as if I miscast Death's Door and got trapped between life and death... I was never traumatized as a child so I think it's my nature instead of nurture which is why I'm inherently unloveable, but m y mild erotomania is a part of who I acause if you ask the buddhists in the ask/tell subforum they'll tell you that suicide is a temporary solution to a permanent problem and if you feel bad about wanting to be touched youll just be reincarnated as a hungry ghost which is also a moinster in Dungeon Craw;: Stone ssoup.  Kara complains shes cold all the time but to me shes an ins anally warm person because she's so comfortable with other people. When a beloved co-worker quit she cried like a big sexy cry baby human being without any shame or awkwardness. She enjoys her creativity even in the briefest moments with others. She's happy when other people are happy but I'm only ever sad when other people are sad. It's enough to make a guy shove his face into a purse and smell her scarf even though I barely have a sense of smell *laughs*. Even though I'm a little bit sad that she's gone, not being psychotic is more important than making new friends and intimacy is scarier than dying which I understand because I'm really mature.  All this leads me to the conclusion that it's good shes gone forever for my metnal health. I can focus on more important things like grabbing and ascending the orb to become content with my life. anything can happen in the orb chamber lungs... It sure would be extremely bad for my mental health if I hosed up at this point *laughs*
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Jun 1, 2015 11:56
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Zero cavities! Though I have receding gums, and I'll have to switch to extra soft bristles and be more careful. This is my first dental visit in 6 years of eating mostly sugar candies and soda pop but one of my teeth is sideways so I'll have to have that pulled. Now I'm going to go to Quiznos and get a delicious sandwich.
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Jun 2, 2015 23:37
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i was wrong. I misunderstood a conversation I was eavesdropping on lol. shes back and she wore a tight dog leash for a necklace today with the rest of the leash tucked into her dress. i said hello and she took 3 candies out of her pocket and touched my hand to give them to me. its a lot less candy that i got from going to the 'ssage parlor but better tasting. I have a leash fetish now but if she had been wearing a fanny pack ud oribabky think that were sexy instead. I saw h er jerking off a rolled up piece of paper from the corner of my eye. Xanax messes your decision making and memory so no more of that until i have the orb. The wrapper for my double chocolate cookie is in the garbage but I have no recollection of ever eating it.
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Jun 5, 2015 12:07
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recently saw someone clearing ice hell with the Shield Of Gong which is a large powerful artefact shield that makes a gong noise that wakes u p enemies, and he was also using Song Of Slaying so he was a very noisy gargoyle. Time to get this over with the big unexplored areas are the LUNGS OF ZOT, and are filled with some of the strongest enemies in the game. Orbs of Fire guarding the Orb Of Zot have the highest hit dice (like experience level for monsters) in the game !!
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Jun 7, 2015 08:26
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 powerful unevadable fire attacks, fast and it mutates you also. the only good thing about them is that they're warm at least.  Electric golems. Don't bother trying to hit these guys they're made out of electricity.  3 orbs of fire so far but im going ot make it... i think.......
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Jun 7, 2015 08:34
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 THere it is.. the real orb of zot. Don't look at it too closely whence you find a manual of dodging in the center of it...  Now the real game begins. everything that comes before picking up the orb is basically a tutorial level.
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Jun 7, 2015 08:38
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 Ziggurats are 27 floors long filled with the most treasure and the most dangerous monsters in increasing difficulty.  the wildest treasure vaults, the sickest monsters
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Jun 7, 2015 08:47
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  this is pretty easy maybe i can claer thre whole thing??
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Jun 7, 2015 09:01
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Jun 7, 2015 09:08
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 I did it i got the runes of power and also the orb and beat the videogame, so life is good now instead of bad. This is a good life accomplishment. I'm so happy. Now that I have ascended the orb of zot my needs are clear to me and I suddenly magically know how to meet them and say "i have escaped with them ost powerful magical artifact and 15 runes of power." I'm happy with my life because of this rogue-like videogame. but it's tim,e to move on. maye now I can get an erection with a prostitute maybe?? they say the sky is really dark before it's bright int he morning again, and t hats my life now. the dark part is over and I'm glad I'm alive to have the internet high score. no more facial twitching from intimate human contact for me thats for sure lol. life may be pointless and meaningless (at least if your honest) but at least theres variety in suffering for instance: ascending the orb in dungeon crawl. with my confidence from the orb i wont abuse drugs anymore and im going to finish the unofficial Thr Cable Guy 2 script ive been worknig on. and hey now that im happy maybe ill ask kara out and explain to her what an evil selfish sick gently caress she is for being too attractive. I'm a real eprson now with feelings and stuff and i wont be too scared to say things like 'did it hurt when you fell from heaven? well go gently caress off back there because you dont belong here" or nice cell phone addiction kara, did you get it at the toilet store?? your like the girl of my dreams... except inlike my dream girl you exist and experience what a huge fag i am dumb-rear end!! lol. im finishing this gay threa because i didnt want to let down the guy who PM'd me to tell me that i'm am SA version of osamu daizi ;whose mom has the same name as my mom. I just wanted people to look at my cum. i dont care about any of this bull crap
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Jun 7, 2015 09:18
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 07:29 |
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If a moderator could please gas this thread so that kara never finds it I'd really appreciate it. I don't want any "drama" from women. Thanks
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Jun 7, 2015 09:20
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