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Leon Einstein
Feb 6, 2012
I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Lots of sexual abuse victims revert to that baby voice. Hmmm...

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basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002



Cuck Dynasty

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


College Slice

that woman can lie about how happy she is all she wants but every time i see her on tv she has that "please end my life" look on my face

also i love how everyone loves to point out how wholesome and perfect this family is when they force all their female daughters to basically do nothing but pop out kids 24/7.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING WAY TOO HARD TO FIT IN

TheNinjaScotsman posted:

14 year olds are toddlers?

If they're being raised by fundies then for all intents and purposes - yes.

Mr. Pumroy
May 20, 2001



Gatekeeper posted:

gimme the deets on this please

Two guys break into an atheist’s home. He has a little atheist wife and two little atheist daughters. And then they take his two daughters in front of him and surprise sex both of them and then shoot 'em and they take his wife and then decapitate her head off in front of him. And then they can look at him and say, 'Isn't it great that I don’t have to worry about being judged? Isn't it great that there's nothing wrong with this? There's no right or wrong, now is it dude?' Then you take a sharp knife and take his manhood and hold it in front of him and say, 'Wouldn't it be something if this was something wrong with this? But you’re the one who says there is no God, there’s no right, there’s no wrong, so we’re just having fun. We're sick in the head, have a nice day.' If it happened to them, they probably would say, 'Something about this just ain't right.'

my favorite part is where the point of view shifts from "two guys" to "you"

Pick
Jul 19, 2009



People like this are insanely selfish, because they make the oldest kids into surrogate parents, so they have all the poo poo of being parents without even the enjoyment of sex (in the best-case scenario) while the parents gently caress each other senseless in their irresponsible trash den.

WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001



Jonny 290 posted:


also they make their money by having used car lots

How many do they have? Gonna suck for the youngest boys when they become an adult and ask for all the same poo poo Jim Bob gave their older brothers and Jim Bob is just like "go away we don't have any more who are you?"

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


College Slice

Pick posted:

People like this are insanely selfish, because they make the oldest kids into surrogate parents, so they have all the poo poo of being parents without even the enjoyment of sex (in the best-case scenario) while the parents gently caress each other senseless in their irresponsible trash den.

their home seems pretty neat and clean but yea all the other stuff is true


god id like to punchasize jim bob's stupid goon face
that'd be loving sweeeeeeeeet

Casimir Radon
Aug 1, 2008



Jonny 290 posted:

michelle duggar is nearing fifty years of age and still uses the submissive littlegirlvoice

go watch a youtube or smth. its gross
Don't worry she'll probably die making GBS threads while making GBS threads out the next one.

Sending their little rapist off to be someone's slave to teach him a lesson is pretty funny, of course evangelicals have the funniest ideas about criminal justice. They rush to condemn anyone else, but if you accept Jesus you're all good and can go with your life. My city has a large Christmas display for charity every year. There's this shitbag street preacher who likes to go down their with his sandwich boards and harass people. Now the funny part is that he's a convicted sex offender, and his supporters point to him having found Jesus as proof that he can totally be trusted around kids and everyone should stop persecuting him.

Gatekeeper posted:

gimme the deets on this please
Phil Robertson slammed for imagined tale of an atheist family’s surprise sex and murder

the great deceiver
Sep 23, 2003

why the feds worried bout me clockin on this corner/
when there's politicians out here gettin popped in arizona

my quiver is full, so sayeth the duggar

WhyteRyce
Dec 30, 2001



haljordan posted:

their home seems pretty neat and clean but yea all the other stuff is true


god id like to punchasize jim bob's stupid goon face
that'd be loving sweeeeeeeeet

It's neat and clean because there are like 19 kids doing chores

Terrific Accident
Jul 4, 2005



i wish i had so many people to love me. i would settle for one really

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


College Slice

gigawhite posted:

i wish i had so many people to love me. i would settle for one really

no way, loved ones are a hassle. they always want rides and vital organs and poo poo.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003



Mr. Pumroy posted:

my favorite part is where the point of view shifts from "two guys" to "you"

lmao thanks this is good

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot


Moridin920 posted:

idk who those people are but yeah you can't have 30 kids without at least a couple of them being hosed up

a) you don't have enough time to properly devote to everyone (you selfish bitch)
and b) statistics

this is why I'm not having any kids

there is a nonzero chance they may one day surprise sex so why risk it?? checkmate rapist-making childhavers

Skunkape
Oct 28, 2002
Cock? Why of course! I'd love some!

So they took the son to a cop after finding this out? And the cop is now in jail on cp charges?

Some tru detective poo poo

Bea Nanner
Oct 20, 2003

Je suis excité!



intouchweekly.com

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo


people who literally can't understand a system of morality not handed down to them by a god who will smite them ASAP if they gently caress up are hilarious to me

like is phil robertson saying if it wasn't for god he'd go surprise sex and kill people all the time or what?

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.


College Slice

Moridin920 posted:

people who literally can't understand a system of morality not handed down to them by a god who will smite them ASAP if they gently caress up are hilarious to me

like is pat robertson saying if it wasn't for god he'd go surprise sex and kill people all the time or what?

also that stupid rear end old man's scenario completely leaves out that we have a loving legal system to deal with murderers. what the poo poo do you mean 'we dont have to worry about being judged'?

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005

[A]sk me about OS/2 WARP


Moridin920 posted:

people who literally can't understand a system of morality not handed down to them by a god who will smite them ASAP if they gently caress up are hilarious to me

like is phil robertson saying if it wasn't for god he'd go surprise sex and kill people all the time or what?

roughly 70% of the "Ungodly people do <horrible_thing> all the time, OBVIOUSLY" is projecting from weirdo dudes that can only keep their dick away from that 15 year old because a dude in the sky will send them to this hot place where this lil devil guy will poke ur butt with a pitchfork over and over

you know how those really hosed up backwards muslims go WESTERN WOMEN MUST GET RAPED ALL THE TIME, GOD, THOSE NAKED SLUTS COVERED IN OIL AND WRITHING AROUND? same thing

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo


^^ It's always the people who protest the loudest. IE just look at every single conservative 'family values' idiot that ends up getting caught with an underage boy prostitute or sucking a dick in a bathroom stall somewhere.

quote:

"Duck Dynasty" star Phil Robertson accepted an award for free speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference on Friday. In his speech, Robertson warned the audience about sexually transmitted diseases. (AP)

"STDs are the revenge of the hippies"

here's an award for saying the most outlandish ridiculous poo poo possible we are fellow shitlords

quote:

They champion perversion, they champion murder, aborting their children and they are champions of lies. I mean I’m listening to them and thinking, ‘dude, what?’

‘Yeah, this bunch here, they’re the kind that clings to their guns and their Bibles,’ I’m thinking, yeah, we may need them.

lol where is William T Sherman when you need him

we should have put that dude on ice to summon so future generations could call on him when needed

McStabby
Jun 26, 2007

LANA!!! CRUUUUUSH!


haljordan posted:

that woman can lie about how happy she is all she wants but every time i see her on tv she has that "please end my life" look on my face

They don't let their children spend any unchaperoned time with who they are "courting" (Duggars don't believe in dating) until the couple is married. Expect more of this face from the daughters.

basement jihadist
Oct 3, 2002



McStabby posted:

They don't let their children spend any unchaperoned time with who they are "courting" (Duggars don't believe in dating) until the couple is married. Expect more of this face from the daughters.

i want to court dad duggar, in a stalkerish and earnest manner, and reach out to his kids to tell them "i'd like to gently caress your dad" and see who hooks it up

Harald
Jul 9, 2009

LINKIN PARK




which mod is he again?

meet girls at the store
Nov 4, 2002
Poopoopillsfortoomanypoopoos


The family has made a statement, but it's all okay because Jesus

http://www.people.com/people/articl...0925368,00.html

quote:

In an exclusive statement to PEOPLE, Josh Duggar, his wife Anna, and his parents Jim Bob and Michelle are speaking out in response to reports that Josh was once accused of molesting five underage girls as a teen.

"Twelve years ago, as a young teenager, I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends," Josh, 27, tells PEOPLE in a statement. "I confessed this to my parents who took several steps to help me address the situation. We spoke with the authorities where I confessed my wrongdoing, and my parents arranged for me and those affected by my actions to receive counseling. I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life."

Josh has resigned from his position at the Family Research Council as a result of the accusations becoming public, but his family has stood behind him.

"Back 12 years ago our family went through one of the most difficult times of our lives," Jim Bob, 49, and Michelle, 48, said in a joint statement. "When Josh was a young teenager, he made some very bad mistakes, and we were shocked. We had tried to teach him right from wrong. That dark and difficult time caused us to seek God like never before."

Their statement continues, "Even though we would never choose to go through something so terrible, each one of our family members drew closer to God. We pray that as people watch our lives they see that we are not a perfect family. We have challenges and struggles every day. It is one of the reasons we treasure our faith so much because God's kindness and goodness and forgiveness are extended to us – even though we are so undeserving. We hope somehow the story of our journey – the good times and the difficult times – cause you to see the kindness of God and learn that He can bring you through anything."

And Josh's wife Anna, 26, says she has remained supportive of her husband – even after he confessed his "past teenage mistakes" two years before he proposed marriage.

"I can imagine the shock many of you are going through reading this. I remember feeling that same shock," she says. "When my family and I first visited the Duggar home, Josh shared his past teenage mistakes. I was surprised at his openness and humility and at the same time didn't know why he was sharing it. For Josh, he wanted not just me but my parents to know who he really was – even every difficult past mistakes."

But Anna said she had confidence that the counseling her husband received "changed his life."

"He continued to do what he was taught. [I know] who Josh really is – someone who had gone down a wrong path and had humbled himself before God and those whom he had offended," she says. "Someone who had received the help needed to change the direction of his life and do what is right."

And for his part, Josh says he continues living with regret.

"I would do anything to go back to those teen years and take different actions," says Josh. "I sought forgiveness from those I had wronged and asked Christ to forgive me and come into my life. In my life today, I am so very thankful for God's grace, mercy and redemption."

the great deceiver
Sep 23, 2003

why the feds worried bout me clockin on this corner/
when there's politicians out here gettin popped in arizona

who would have ever guessed that the family research council would have employed such broken people

Inside Out Mom
Jan 9, 2004

Franklin B. Znorps
Dignity, Class, Internet

Harald posted:

which mod is he again?

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

For the argument is indeed trivial, but not so the separate wills thereby made manifest.


I can't imagine waking up one morning to have the whole internet asking me about some poo poo I did when I was 14.

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!


Grimey Drawer

lmao only fire will cleanse the earth of their brood

Affe mk2
Mar 9, 2004

Chicks dig giant robots

Monkey Fracas posted:

lmao only fire will cleanse the earth of their brood

if you get them all to line up i'm sure you could do it with a truck or something

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!


Grimey Drawer

Affe mk2 posted:

if you get them all to line up i'm sure you could do it with a truck or something

would have to lure them all in by opening a combination disaster prepper/bible store or something first

Booblord Zagats
Oct 30, 2011




Pork Pro

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

for the longest time I thought these were that other white trash reality show family that had a million kids

Dog the Bounty Hunter?

Booblord Zagats fucked around with this message at May 21, 2015 around 22:43

The White Dragon
Nov 14, 2007

a dragon that is
uh

TheNinjaScotsman posted:

Remember that nice wholesome redneck family from the teevee?



I remember them specifically because there was one goon who said to thread in general that he'd bet a million fuckin' dollars that there's gonna be some creepy incest poo poo with that family some years down the line

Monkey Fracas
Sep 11, 2010

...but then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you!


Grimey Drawer

the dad's name is literally Jim Bob

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo


The White Dragon posted:

I remember them specifically because there was one goon who said to thread in general that he'd bet a million fuckin' dollars that there's gonna be some creepy incest poo poo with that family some years down the line

doesn't take a gambling whiz to figure those odds

Pick
Jul 19, 2009



The White Dragon posted:

I remember them specifically because there was one goon who said to thread in general that he'd bet a million fuckin' dollars that there's gonna be some creepy incest poo poo with that family some years down the line

Seems like a statically sound bet.

Drunkboxer
Jun 30, 2007

Ehhh?

Monkey Fracas posted:

the dad's name is literally Jim Bob

every time I see some loving moron I wouldn't trust to clean my bathroom with a bunch of money on a reality TV show the source of their money is inevitably "real estate." Like every single time

guess what jim bob does

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Don't be so gloomy. After all it's not that awful. Like the fella says, in Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance.



Canned Ferret

Booblord Zagats posted:

Dog the Bounty Hunter?

no the goslings or whoever that alice and bob plus ten show was about

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo


Drunkboxer posted:

every time I see some loving moron I wouldn't trust to clean my bathroom with a bunch of money on a reality TV show the source of their money is inevitably "real estate." Like every single time

guess what jim bob does

that's usually code for 'doesn't do poo poo, inherited wealth from parents'

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TontoCorazon
Aug 18, 2007


The father's name is Jim Bob. Of course there's fuckin going on in that family

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