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Shroud
May 11, 2009

HalfHazard posted:

No victim wants their minor's story to be told.

Corrected that for you - peace!

-Your friend, Jim Bob-

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Shroud
May 11, 2009

Monkey Fracas posted:

60 years in the future:

a bunch of similar-looking freaks with plastic hair and wooden smiles start pouring out of the bunkers armed with old M-16s

Wait, are we still talking about Fallout 4?

Shroud
May 11, 2009

Chinatown posted:

i hope everyone dies

I have good news for you!

Shroud
May 11, 2009
Josh should have recited the Litany Against Touching more often:

I must not touch.
Touching is the mind-killer.
Touching is the little-sister that brings total incarceration.
I will face my sister.
I will permit her to pass over me and through me.
And when she has gone past I will turn to Jesus to see her path.
Where the sister has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Shroud
May 11, 2009
It is the 21st Millennium. For more than thirty years Jim Bob has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Arkansas. He is the master of the Duggars by the will of God and master of a million churches by the might of his inexhaustible children. He is a rotting carcass writhing with power from the Dark Age of TLC. He is the Carrion Lord of the vast Imperium of Duggars for whom a thousand liberals are sacrificed every day so that he may never truly die.Yet even in his deathless state, Jim Bob continues his eternal vigilance. Mighty mobility scooters cross the daemon-infested miasma of the Internet, the only route between distant inbred rednecks, their way lit by pedobear, the psychic manifestation of Jim Bob's will. Vast facebook trolls give battle in His name on uncounted forums. Greatest amongst his soldiers are the fundies, brainwashed super-zealots. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Fox News team and countless church congregations, the ever-vigilant Gothard Institute and the tech-priests of the Adeptus Huckabee to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat to humanity from liberals, heretics, homosexuals -- and far, far worse. To be a man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for so much has been forgotten, never to be relearned. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark Arkansas there is only Jim Bob. There is no peace amongst the farms, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting Nielsen ratings.

Shroud
May 11, 2009

Geoj posted:

I don't know if I'd call a brainwashed fundie going to a (likely) unaccredited "college" that does little more than turn out other brainwashed fundamentalists with worthless degrees much of an improvement.

Baby steps.

Edit: ^^:argh:

Shroud
May 11, 2009
JimBob Duggarpants

Shroud
May 11, 2009

Heh, I read that as "Shave if you agree" at first.

Shroud
May 11, 2009
House Duggar's words - "The abused might not be at fault"

Shroud
May 11, 2009
It might seem crazy what I'm about to say
my sister's here, you can take a break
I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space
With the youth, like I don't care baby by the way

Because I'm happy
Finger along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I'm happy
Finger along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I'm happy
Finger along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I'm happy
Finger along if you feel like that's what you wanna do

Here come bad news talking this and that, yeah,
Well, I'll give you all I got, and not hold it back, yeah,
Well, I should probably warn you I'll be just fine, yeah,
No offense to you, don't waste your time

Shroud
May 11, 2009
He didn't actually put bombs in the buildings, just touched them on the outside. Don't worry though, I hear its common in other conservative countries as well.

Shroud
May 11, 2009

Ryoshi posted:

man is it okay to think that the duggars are weird and gross and bad but also think that speculating about their beds and stuff is creeper obsession level weird ??

Well, when you see 7 people and 4 beds, it's pretty natural to wonder what's going on when people sleep at night. Especially when you're dealing with the levels of crazy these people have.

Shroud
May 11, 2009
Mr. Jim Bob, tear down this Josh.

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Shroud
May 11, 2009

Dude on the left looks like a hobo now. The kid with the red pants has to be gay. The girl in the middle with the light blue shirt has eyes that say, "Get me out of here, please".

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