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goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Whatev posted:

Is it Godly for a woman to give her husband oral as long as she spits out his seed afterward and plants it up in her sin patch?

wont work unless shes hella flexible

basically what im saying is shes gotta snowball her man or theyre both going to hell

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goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Where did you find this?

i was going to say 1996, but im guessing jim bob isnt up on the latest and greatest in web design so idk

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

it's starting to spread

Gawker and Mediate have articles on it

he said real media

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Top City Homo posted:

Rollofs may be handicapped but at least they aren't retarded

the rollof guy got a couple duis but hes still okay in my book

id probably chug a shitload of beer in his situation too

e: who the gently caress am i kidding, im not even handicapped and i chug a shitload of beer

goatsestretchgoals fucked around with this message at 17:32 on May 26, 2015

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

i had to watch part of that show, jon seemed like a cool dude who was in way over his head

kate was a raging loving bitch, poor jon :(

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

ahaahah outfundied

check and mate jimmy bobby

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

AKA Pseudonym posted:

If I understand this correctly one of his siblings was going to chaperone him to a movie screening but it was an R-Rated movie and somebody else had to chaperone him. So in this clip he must be both over 18 and being chaperoned by somebody younger. That's not as weird as underage incest, but still pretty weird.

turns out they just needed to make sure his little sis wasn't there

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Sheng-ji Yang posted:

And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Jim Bob, and said unto him, Jim Bob: and he said, Behold, here I am.

And he said, Take now thy son, thine first born son Josh, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Arkansas; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

And Jim Bob rose up early in the morning, and saddled his rear end, and took two of his young men with him, and Josh his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.

Then on the third day Jim Bob lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off.

And Jim Bob said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the rear end; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.

And Jim Bob took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Josh his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together.

And Josh spake unto Jim Bob his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?

And Jim Bob said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together.

And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Jim Bob built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Josh his son, and laid him on the altar

And Jim Bob stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

TLC should uncancel the show for this

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Jonny 290 posted:

southern protestants unironically believe that catholics worship statues and drink blood at mass. its loving hilarious listening to them trying to play sixth-generation telephone with catholic dogma

tbh, catholics unironically believe they drink blood at mass as well

e: and this is the most enlightened of the mainline christian religions

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

lincoln lied, america's average IQ died

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Harald posted:

is it prounced "Dew-gar" or "Dugg-ar"?

molest-gar

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

cams posted:

she's sick in that episode it's the one where the hot redhead that works with homer wants to gently caress him and he goes home and his wife is sick and his kids are losers and he's like "maybe i should tap that rear end" but in the end he decides not to because he loves his family

duh


Frostwerks posted:

marge looks high as gently caress

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Crusty Nutsack posted:

"The children love it, and it's good for you," explains Michelle on Nina Frye's Living the Dream Mom radio show. "The beans and the chilli have the protein...the iron and fiber. Everybody likes it, and it's so fast."

"When you're in a hurry and you don't have anything planned, or if you've got a large number of people coming over, it's very inexpensive. We open up a giant can of the chili beans, throw in some ground beef that's already been cooked and seasoned...It's ready in fifteen minutes."

Chili Frito Pie

12 (15 oz) cans Mexican style chili beans
2 bags Fritos™
4 c. shredded cheddar cheese
2 small containers sour cream
*Ground beef (optional)

Warm beans in large pot. Serve over Fritos™ with cheese and sour cream. Easy family favorite.

what the christ, this is something i would make (in a much smaller amount) when stoned

chili, some cheese, brown up some mystery meat from the freezer, chips if i havent already eaten them, throw that poo poo in a bowl

gently caress i guess im a chef now

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011


hahahaah how much you wanna bet that 'removing safari' was just deleting it from the home screen

jim bob and all the kids are jerkin it in bathroom stalls, then deleting the icon again

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

you irl posted:

also lol that only the boys and jim bob jim bob are mentioned when it comes to porno.. josh is wrist deep in their vags

ftfy

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

you irl posted:

imagine this guy giving your son a talk about inappropriate touching

probably gave josh a few tips

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

amusinginquiry posted:

the face of a man who beat 12 turkeys to death

from potential serial killer to fox news' darling hunchback

its good to be white in texas, doesnt even matter if youre retarded

Alan Smithee posted:

poor Megan Kelly, she's probably a double agent like Shep Smith trying to expose dumb people by giving them rope

i think you might be right, im looking at that screenshot again and im pretty sure megan is trying to burn through that guy's brain with her eyes

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Centripetal Horse posted:

I have no mouth, and I must give lip-service to caring about the children I molested.

iykwim

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

19 problems but a condom aint one

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

pretty sure the girls dont cum

goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011


none of these things would happen in the duggar household

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goatsestretchgoals
Jun 4, 2011

Decrepus posted:

I am a wolf.

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