Shroud posted:

It is the 21st Millennium. For more than thirty years Jim Bob has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Arkansas. He is the master of the Duggars by the will of God and master of a million churches by the might of his inexhaustible children. He is a rotting carcass writhing with power from the Dark Age of TLC. He is the Carrion Lord of the vast Imperium of Duggars for whom a thousand liberals are sacrificed every day so that he may never truly die.Yet even in his deathless state, Jim Bob continues his eternal vigilance. Mighty mobility scooters cross the daemon-infested miasma of the Internet, the only route between distant inbred rednecks, their way lit by pedobear, the psychic manifestation of Jim Bob's will. Vast facebook trolls give battle in His name on uncounted forums. Greatest amongst his soldiers are the fundies, brainwashed super-zealots. Their comrades in arms are legion: the Fox News team and countless church congregations, the ever-vigilant Gothard Institute and the tech-priests of the Adeptus Huckabee to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat to humanity from liberals, heretics, homosexuals -- and far, far worse. To be a man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the cruelest and most bloody regime imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for so much has been forgotten, never to be relearned. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark Arkansas there is only Jim Bob. There is no peace amongst the farms, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting Nielsen ratings.