Duggars: "Incest is Best"

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Duggars: "Incest is Best"

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Say Nothing posted:

That was the best episode.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2016 23:31

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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SteveVizsla posted:

She didn't get a settlement, it was completely dropped. There was plenty of evidence that Duggar wasn't even in Philly on the day she's accusing him of raping her. Unfortunately.

Fine. Now that she's making a rapist look innocent by trying to defraud him, any sane jury should have an easy time sentencing them both to one hour in a reef shark feeding frenzy. It's not inhumane because if God loves you, you'll get out alive.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2016 06:34

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Not to point fingers, but I sure do see a lot of stuff in threads about tlc (this one especially) where the poster preambles his thoughts with: "oh yeah, well, my wife/gf/whatev watches this a lot so I've seen a bunch". I feel if anyone I knew watched this show more than a time or two it would be impossible to not make fun of them.

To be clear though, Mormon-bashing is good and correct.

# ¿ Jun 2, 2016 02:13

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Zahgaegun posted:

I'd rather have a mormon for a neighbor than a goon sorry baby

Lowtax was born on Kolob. What now?

# ¿ Jun 2, 2016 04:07

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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The North Tower posted:

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Jim Bob.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Jim Bob.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked Jim Bob about it.
"Jim Bob, you said once I decided to follow you,
You'd walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me."

He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I was covering up Josh molesting his sisters."

SOmething about the structure here made me read it to the tune of Man who Sold the World. Kept waiting for you to say "You must have Jimmed alone a Bob Bob time ago".

# ¿ Jun 6, 2016 06:27

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Pvt.Scott posted:

Show me a movie with vampires that ISN'T gay.

Throwing out a plethora of great vampire comedies from Love at First Bite to What we do in the Shadows.

You some weak low-level undead, lil zombor.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2016 07:50

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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How many more times does a guy have to gently caress up before he gets squashed by so much legal action he only gets out of prison to go to more sentencings? They give him a small phone as if that says "we mean it this time, Jimbab!". Reminds me of those parents whose kids are throwing a fit or breaking poo poo who go "You've got till the count of five" and then when they get past two go "One and a HALF". So it looks like the plan here is to just keep sweeping until everything's under the rug.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2016 07:43

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Facebook Aunt posted:

His genes are still winning tho. In a hundred years JoshBob may have hundreds of descendants.

A reminder: chickens used to be pretty high up on the food chain in the Cretaceous. Then they overfranchised and became delicious fodder for our fat monkey faces. If Jimmy Bobbert has that many descendants, it'll be like the end of The Time Machine and his offspring will be on the menu for giant crabs.

# ¿ Jul 11, 2016 08:38

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Julet Esqu posted:

Poor Lisa.

Well, then. I guess...

GIANT OUIJA BOARD posted:

Forgive me Jim, for I have Bobbed

I need a drink.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2016 07:43

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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You cannot. Jim and therefore Bob. Jim begets Bob.

# ¿ Jul 13, 2016 11:38

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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happyhippy posted:

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/07/josh-duggar-wont-apologize-for-sex-abuse-and-adultery-he-believes-external-forces-were-to-blame/

Yaaaaay, external forces being Satan, illegal immigrants, and sexy sister minxes wearing tight onesies.

"Ratings gold" "external forces" "no apology".

Kill this family.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2016 16:44

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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SEX BURRITO posted:

How long have these purity ball things being going on? It'd be interesting to hear from these girls 10 or 15 years after the ball and hear their experiences.

I bet if you asked the organizers they would claim it went back to Mycenaean Greece.

# ¿ Jul 22, 2016 01:14

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

Am I the only one who immediately thought of the movie Chinatown when seeing this picture?

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

http://iacknowledge.net/creepy-pictures-from-christian-purity-ball-where-girls-pledge-virginity-until-marriage/

Site is down. It appears the pledges were supposed to be a secret.

Amarcarts posted:

You know, we always called each other Jim Bob. Like you said to, uh, somebody, "You're gonna like this guy. He's all right. He's a Jim Bob. He's one of us." You understand? We were Jim Bobs. Quiverfulls. But Jimmy and I could never be pure because we had gay blood. It didn't even matter that my mother was hetero. To become a member of a TLC show you've got to be one hundred per cent incestuous so they can trace all your relatives back to the old country. See, it's the highest honor they can give you. It means you belong to a family and crew. It means that nobody can gently caress around with you except your male family members. It also means you could gently caress around with anybody just as long as they are also a family member. It's like a license to steal. It's a license to do anything. As far as Jim Bob was concerned with Josh being caught, it was like we were all being caught. We would now have to eat one of our own.

But what Jimmy liked, what Jimmy really liked to do was Bob.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2016 17:51

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Quiverfull of thai stick.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2016 21:50

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Fiend posted:

The Are Father spell gives me bonuses to THAC0 and saving throw against Logic

Too bad the DM is the Dept. of Justice.

# ¿ Aug 14, 2016 23:01

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Ultimate Mango posted:

blanket training

Years ago somewhere on SA I read a testimony from parents who had sent their little girl to be "rebirthed" or something like that by one of those weird alternative therapy centers. They put the girl in a blanket and had several adults sit on her at once, berating her for not wanting to get out badly enough. They basically told her if she wanted to live, she would have to fight out. Apparently they taped it and the transcript just had this girl saying "I'm trying, I'm trying" until she just went silent. All the while, these people were demeaning her and saying it was her fault. She was smothered to death. Even reading the transcript was horrific.

Is that blanket training?

# ¿ Aug 15, 2016 03:17

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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It is simply amazing that these are the people who think human beings aren't animals. From the mere sound of it, it's just the worst poo poo. If I ever hear some crazy boasting about "blanket training" their kid, I am calling child services like a quickdraw narc at high noon.

# ¿ Aug 15, 2016 04:03

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Jumpingmanjim posted:

Oh god the Willis family do the J thing too.

1 Jessica Josie Jupiter Jump
2 "Jair" Aslan V
3 Jenni Jumpgrass
4 Jewford Freeman
5 Jackworth Millpile
6 Jedi Sith Lord
7 Jaccordian
8 Juliette "Not in my House" Rose-Capulet
9 Jackrock Profunk
10 "Mint" Julep
11 Jehovah Judge
12 Jumpin Joy Jazzabelle

I tried to name them after what I would name my kids if I had an obsession with alliteration and was p drunk, but I think your post/name combo threw me, JumpinJimBingoBob.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2016 03:08

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# ¿ Jul 17, 2025 19:52

phasmid: Jan 16, 2015; Booty Shaker
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Jumpingmanjim posted:

http://www.intouchweekly.com/posts/jim-bob-duggar-michelle-duggar-20th-kid-113463

Looks like Jim Bob has his 20th child:

For a second there I got sucked in and went "wow, they're tasteful enough not to allow the kid to be photographed and in touch is tasteful enough not to post them on the sly" then I said "lmao wait a sec, they're only not doing that because of the apparent involvement of the law".

# ¿ Sep 15, 2016 01:56

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