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cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

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i was raised catholic and as a kid i just thought that all the wafers and communion wine became part of Jesus, and that he was totally huge like 50 times the planet, and that someday giant Jesus would have to fight some big monster or something but until then we had to keep embiggening Jesus

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cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

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all the inbreeding and poverty and lack of education in the quiverfull community is like a parody of european royalty. i bet jimbob holds court at the olive garden like a feudal lord as other quiverdads compete to pair their sons with his daughters

"your son shall be a fine provider to a dozen children as assistant manager of the walmart produce section. harlot, have a manwaiter bring us more unlimited breadsticks!"

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

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lol

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Sep 27, 2005

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Jinger, Jana who can I turn to?
I'll give you something you can hold on to
I know you'll think I'm like the brothers before
I love you all but love some a little more

Girls, I've got you numbered
I'll make all of you mine
But my favorite sisters are
8, 6, 7, 5, 3 and niiii-iiiine

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

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quote:

He said that one of his brothers had told on him for being in the bathroom for a few hours one night, worried that he was sick. Well to see if he really was, Jim Bob walked in. He caught him doing it,

i bet that kid was so clueless about sex that he had no idea how to finish off. like once yhour brothers are knocking on the door asking whats up youd want to hurry up and stop drawing attention to yoruself

imagine how hosed up and backward the jimbob duggars are that their own kids cant even figure out instinctual biological poo poo

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Sep 27, 2005

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Panfilo posted:

What I'm curious about is this:

Why not take the stance, "He is a horrible pox on our family, and must be Cast Out!" I mean seriously? How hard would it have been to paint him as the 'bad seed' in the family? They could go on claiming they are so righteous, and isolate him?

Make no mistake, if one of the Duggar children comes out as gay/trans that is what they would do. So why rationalize one of their own molesting his own sisters and a family friend?

Also, how come the father of the girl that was not related to them hasn't made some huge deal about this? I thought that generally these types of dads are the dads that are all like, "If anyone TOUCHES mah daughter, I'll use mah smitin' shovel to bury their body". So why hasn't the family of the 'friend' come forward to give their side of the story?

because jesus forgave him and it was heteromolestation and women are objects for men to gently caress babies into so really josh was just getting a head start at being a good patriach

also josh bob duggar worked at the FAMILY RESERACH COUNCIL where CULTURE WARRIORS go to fight WORLDY JEW LIBERALISM

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Sep 27, 2005

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the fact htat jIMBOB was a used car salesman from rural podunk makes his deflectsions that much more awesome

"yeah no poo poo the check engine light is on that means you dont have to check if an engine is there. hell its illegal disclosure if the dash dont tell you theres an engine to check. everyone i know has their check engine light on thats just a normal thing. every dad i know wishes he could have molested his daughter in this 89 cadillac. think of your kids. you dont want them to be molested in a foreign import honda do ya? support america."

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Sep 27, 2005

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circle the wagons those worldly injuns are a comin

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Sep 27, 2005

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im surprised anyone thought palin represented any type of family values

-non-traditional stay at home dad
-pornstar sort of son in law (levi did a playgirl spread)
-bastard grandson
-unwed whore daughter

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

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Touching Lotsa Children

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Sep 27, 2005

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lol the molestation controversy section is now longer than the rest of josh bob duggars wikipedia page

also just a reminder that josh bob duggar was executive direct of the family research council whose cofounder was caught going on vacation with a rent boy named lucien several years back

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Sep 27, 2005

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Sep 27, 2005

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im confused by the quiverfull endgame.

ok now youve outbred all the worldly jew liberals and control the government. but now youhave a buncha inbred uneducated poor morons with no real skills and also you think government aid is bad so you cant uplift your white trash kingdomo f christ. you have a third world situation but with white christians sonow what? is the guy who hosed the most babies into existence king or somethign? what does he do now?

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Sep 27, 2005

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makes sense. just watched that video witht he duggars priest who wrote some apocalypse book and i figure anyone writing a book like that would half rear end their child counseling.

its real hosed up if you believe that and arent shooting up heroin and loving whores on payday loans and credit card cash advances right now

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Sep 27, 2005

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jim bobar, king of the infants

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Sep 27, 2005

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bobjr posted:

You say that as a joke but if you slip and fall in that house there's probably a decent chance of that happening.

*sideshow bob walking into rakes but with duggar daughters*

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Sep 27, 2005

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good ole BJU would prolly be more relaxed than her current fundie life. girl could go crazy in that environmnet relative to her old home

stay up til 11pm drinkin juice boxes like buster from arrested development

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Sep 27, 2005

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i wanna see jimbob and rod blagohviekc head butt eahchother for the title of best hair helmet

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Sep 27, 2005

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its a shame the family reserach council lost josh because he was probablly one of the few with hands on experience

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Sep 27, 2005

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dog buttz posted:

I'm going to do the Duggar girls a favor and gently caress them, making them filthy in the eyes of Jim Bob and also unfit for marriage to their betrothed, forcing them to leave their cult and become people.

Make sure to leave a note so that everyone knows the abused were not at fault for failing to hold your attention at their countenance. It's only fair.

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Sep 27, 2005

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If it hadn't been for Jim Bob's grope
Jana'd been married long time 'go
Where can they run to? Where can they go?
Her sisters can't run from Jim Bob's grope.

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Sep 27, 2005

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Someone posted a story about Ma Duggar not even being aware that one of the crew people recording them was flamingly gay because he dressed normally and didn't float several inches off the ground as he sashayed and minced about their home. Like, she apparently thought you couldn't throw a rock in a place like New York without it hitting two gangs of roving homosexuals in assless leather chaps before it landed in a naked dude's butthole.

If that story is true then I'd be surprised if that outfit even registered as gay to them since their conception of what homosexuals are is out of whack. They're extremely sheltered.

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Sep 27, 2005

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From a few pages back but lol at how the therapy place Josh is going to has blank workbooks that you fill in the blanks for.

I went to an intro CutCo training session before bailing and that's exactly what they did to skirt around the legal problems of telling you made up bullshit about their knives or saying higher end knives like Henkel are inferior poo poo. They're probably doing the same thing, but for therapy, and claiming it's a more interactive way to learn.

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Sep 27, 2005

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Lollin' at the idea of the Duggars pitching a sex rehab show for Josh. It's just not well thought out. Where's the drama in Josh going to group sessions or doing scrapbook therapy? He needs to be tempted for the show to have any tension. Maybe it could be like Scooby Doo. Every time Josh gropes someone it ends up being one of his counselors, or Satan, in a very convincing costume.

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Sep 27, 2005

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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:

I only follow this occasionally, bear with me. Has any of the abuse been while Josh was legally considered an adult, or was he a minor for everything?

He was a minor when he molested his sisters.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

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Wait, was he sentenced to 40 years as a minor? Either way what's the story?

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Sep 27, 2005

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What's the point of releasing a 60 something year old violent sex offender back into society? You might as well kill them, seeing as they're unemployable and barred from living in any type of affordable rental unit.

Dude hosed up bad but barring a radical shift in how society views ex-convict sex offenders he is condemned to misery and poverty once he is released.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

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No of courise the death sentence isn't the right answer. But you can't put someone away for forty years and expect them to reintegrate seamlessly.

Were the five years he spent in prison waiting for a sentence factored into his punishment?

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Sep 27, 2005

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The Honey Boo Boo Irrevocable Trust For the Benefit of Mama,
Mama & Convicted Pedophile, Trustees

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Sep 27, 2005

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Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Its gonna come out that Josh knocked up some lady and made her abort the fetus.

Wouldn't be surprising, he's already shown us he's horny and impatient.

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Sep 27, 2005

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Jim Bob: "Now remember Josh, if you're gonna gently caress a girl fetus it better be at least 80 days old."

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Sep 27, 2005

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Oh boy my old timey newspaper just got here. Main headline:

Fetus loving Fundie Father Fingered For Fidelity Failings, Fraternal Fondling Flees Faith Fortifying Facility! Father Furious!

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Sep 27, 2005

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Duggar Duggars Duggar Duggar Duggars Duggaring Duggared Duggars

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Sep 27, 2005

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Fiend posted:

1. Can I quote you on that?
2. I scums hitter a family name?

Yes, and my grandpa was Scums Hitler before he emigrated.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

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An artist should never come out or cum on a child before his work does.

cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

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still side hugging even on their wedding day

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Sep 27, 2005

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Kinda hosed up that when a Duggar gives away his daughter at her wedding its basically him handing off the chaperoning duties to her husband. I don't know if it even ends there he might walk with her and her husband to their hotel room.

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Sep 27, 2005

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Robotnik Nudes posted:

I'd Duggar those diglets

I think diglet's final evolution only had 12 of those things popping out of the ground so even an anime video game monster wasn't grotesque enough for reality of Duggar life.

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Sep 27, 2005

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Good thing they waited so their first kiss could be super awkward and in full view of their entire families.

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cumshitter
Sep 27, 2005

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PathAsc posted:

Jim the fundie Bob lives in a "church"
And frolicks in the autumn mist in a land called Tontitown
Little Duggar girls were loved by that rascal Josh
And tempted him with their ankle skirts and other whorish things

Together they would travel in an overstuffed RV
The daughters kept a lookout so that they could shout "Nike!"
Mike Huckabee and TLC would bow whene'er they came
Authorities would drop charges when Bob hairsprayed his mane

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