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Dejan Bimble
Mar 24, 2008

we're all black friends


Plaster Town Cop

Edit: oops posted this in the wrong forum, sorry

In the bible, specifically Judges 3, there's a story of an Israelite named Ehud. Ehud brings tribute to king Eglon of Moab, an enormously fat man who had conquered "the city of palm trees." Before Ehud sets off on this trip, he makes himself a dagger, and hides it on thigh.

Ehud and the carriers of the tribute are let into Eglon's summer pavillion, and are well received. Ehud tells the carriers that he has a secret to tell the king, so they leave, and the king dismisses his retinue in turn.

Ehud, now sitting next to the king, says "I have a message of GOD unto thee." Now I quote:

And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly: 22And the haft also went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade, so that he could not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out.

The king was so enormously fat that Ehud couldn't pull his dagger out of his huge fat bleeding gut. His cubit long dagger was utterly lost.

He had to lock the door and run away out the back.

Full text KJV edition


quote:

Ehud Delivers the Israelites
12And the children of Israel did evil again in the sight of the LORD: and the LORD strengthened Eglon the king of Moab against Israel, because they had done evil in the sight of the LORD. 13And he gathered unto him the children of Ammon and Amalek, and went and smote Israel, and possessed the city of palm trees. 14So the children of Israel served Eglon the king of Moab eighteen years.

15But when the children of Israel cried unto the LORD, the LORD raised them up a deliverer, Ehud the son of Gera, a Benjamite, a man lefthanded: and by him the children of Israel sent a present unto Eglon the king of Moab.

16But Ehud made him a dagger which had two edges, of a cubit length; and he did gird it under his raiment upon his right thigh. 17And he brought the present unto Eglon king of Moab: and Eglon was a very fat man.

18And when he had made an end to offer the present, he sent away the people that bare the present. 19But he himself turned again from the quarries that were by Gilgal, and said, I have a secret errand unto thee, O king: who said, Keep silence. And all that stood by him went out from him.

20And Ehud came unto him; and he was sitting in a summer parlour, which he had for himself alone. And Ehud said, I have a message from God unto thee. And he arose out of his seat. 21And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly:

22And the haft also went in after the blade; and the fat closed upon the blade, so that he could not draw the dagger out of his belly; and the dirt came out. 23Then Ehud went forth through the porch, and shut the doors of the parlour upon him, and locked them.

24When he was gone out, his servants came; and when they saw that, behold, the doors of the parlour were locked, they said, Surely he covereth his feet in his summer chamber. 25And they tarried till they were ashamed: and, behold, he opened not the doors of the parlour; therefore they took a key, and opened them: and, behold, their lord was fallen down dead on the earth.

26And Ehud escaped while they tarried, and passed beyond the quarries, and escaped unto Seirath. 27And it came to pass, when he was come, that he blew a trumpet in the mountain of Ephraim, and the children of Israel went down with him from the mount, and he before them.
28And he said unto them, Follow after me: for the LORD hath delivered your enemies the Moabites into your hand. And they went down after him, and took the fords of Jordan toward Moab, and suffered not a man to pass over. 29And they slew of Moab at that time about ten thousand men, all lusty, and all men of valour; and there escaped not a man.
30So Moab was subdued that day under the hand of Israel. And the land had rest fourscore years.

http://biblehub.com/kjv/judges/3.htm
People have always thought this was awesome and hilarious and it's appeared in a lot of illustrated books of bible stories

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