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George Kansas
Sep 1, 2008

ad astra per proletarii




Gnomefia: A Supreme Lack of Hope



Gnomes are stupid. Like, incredibly stupid. They always have been, and they arguably always will be. If evolution could actually reverse course, gnomes would be capable of it. They are the opposite of natural selection. They are the most foolish, simpleton creatures in Ringworld. And unfortunately, they are still subservient enough to form a society, somehow.

Recently, a group of gnome exiles have settled a new village in the middle of the Southern Forest, filled with all types of terrible creatures. A settlement of outcasts and their families have come together to huddle and survive the elements and the land, with nothing but agriculture and a little bit of protection to save them.

But, horrifically, a group of shapeshifting lizard wizards have been hired by the King of the Gnomes, Joqueitch, to infiltrate this village and betray its members to horrible, hilarious deaths to be used as a message against those who would try and plow their own fields and live outside of his jurisdiction.

This is… Gnomefia! Together, someof you will come together to create a village together, hopefully before getting horribly annihilated by your comrades. You are a ragtag group of gnomes with several diverse backgrounds, but you are still just really gorram dumb. Like, honestly the cards would be kind of stacked against you even without the constant threats that lie in the forest. Expect any number of animal, vegetable or mineral to trip you up on your journey towards, or really any number of possible directions, against, totally to the side of, straight down???, self-sustainability.

This is a game of mafia for 15 players.

Rules
  • Don’t make attacks actually personal. If people start to get really ruffled, honestly, by a player, there will be a warning and possibly a modkill. Insults are going to happen, but there’s a line before approaching the Pettiness & Vilification Station.
  • Days will be 48 hours, possibly stretched to 72 hours. We’ll see.
  • Voting will be majority, anything less will result in a no-lynch.
  • Thread will be closed at night, no twilight, probably. Gnomes are terrified of any kind of darkness.
  • No quoting your role PMs, paraphrasing (you know, claiming) is fine
  • No real posting after death. (dumb ghost text allowed, but no content)
  • Basic mafia rules, no editing your posts, no posting after hammer, no fake day actions, no OOT communication unless it’s specified in your role.
  • please please please post, not posting is pretty much the only things other than mod inactivity that really makes games actually truly bad. Well, that and rule #1.

Players

1. EXAKT Science
2. fiery_valkyrie
3. Ghastly Gangsta
4. imgay
5. JakeP
6. Kumbamontu
7. MEDS CURE SCHIZOS
8. Mithross
9. Murmur Twin
10. Opopanax
11. Samfucius
12. Somberbrero
13. uranus
14. WHICH WAY MADNESS merk
15. white mans burping 100YrsofAttitude

Replacements
1. EccoRaven


Updates from the Gnome Broadcasting System (GBS)

1. The idiot gnomes name their town Gnoman's Land
2. Ghastly Gangsta, Gyzzyx, Serial Killer, eats too many poisonous berries.
3. imgay, Grubert Grubertson, VT, dies in a hilarious freak boating accident

George Kansas fucked around with this message at Jun 22, 2015 around 14:51

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Somberbrero
Feb 14, 2009

The Pit Awaits


Yes.

fiery_valkyrie
Mar 26, 2003

I'm proud of you, Bender. Sure, you lost. You lost bad. But the important thing is I beat up someone who hurt my feelings in high school.

I have a personal rule (that I just made up) that says I have to play in every gnome themed game that is made.

George Kansas
Sep 1, 2008

ad astra per proletarii


fiery_valkyrie posted:

I have a personal rule (that I just made up) that says I have to play in every gnome themed game that is made.

I will try not to screw it up, but considering the theme, I'm going to go ahead and say it is a very, very low bar.

fiery_valkyrie
Mar 26, 2003

I'm proud of you, Bender. Sure, you lost. You lost bad. But the important thing is I beat up someone who hurt my feelings in high school.

BottleKnight posted:

I will try not to screw it up, but considering the theme, I'm going to go ahead and say it is a very, very low bar.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3578758

The first game I ever played. The bar for gnomes related games is very very very high.

George Kansas
Sep 1, 2008

ad astra per proletarii


fiery_valkyrie posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sh...hreadid=3578758

The first game I ever played. The bar for gnomes related games is very very very high.

I was just calling gnomes dumb, didn't know about that game!

I'll have to read it.

Anomalous Amalgam
Feb 13, 2015

In time, you will know the tragic extent of my failings...


Doctor Rope

Put me down for a replacement! I really want to play this, but I'm running one, in two, and I've already put down my registration for a third. If I die soon in one of the games or if the third doesn't come to fruition, I'd like to upgrade to player status.

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013



Toilet Rascal

I will happily ruin your game for you.

imgay
May 12, 2014

dog




Yonkles the Gnomish Rogue would like to reprise his role.

Anomalous Amalgam
Feb 13, 2015

In time, you will know the tragic extent of my failings...


Doctor Rope

Ghastly Gangsta posted:

Put me down for a replacement! I really want to play this, but I'm running one, in two, and I've already put down my registration for a third. If I die soon in one of the games or if the third doesn't come to fruition, I'd like to upgrade to player status.

I'm dead now. I'd like to play

George Kansas
Sep 1, 2008

ad astra per proletarii


Ghastly Gangsta posted:

I'm dead now. I'd like to play

Great! Love the new avatar, btw.

WHICH WAY MADNESS
Apr 28, 2009

You recall this living nightmare, you take comfort in its familiar pain. You smell fermentation and can hear a dull, unending beeping. Someone shouts in a language you do not know.
You love your family. YOU. LOVE. THEM.
Welcome to Red Lobster. Come see what's fresh. Today.


I WANNA GNOME

EXAKT Science
Aug 14, 2012

8 on the Kinsey scale


Yo hey sign me up

kumba
Nov 8, 2003

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

enjoy the ride


Lipstick Apathy

I will under gnome uncertain terms shitpost it up in this here game.

EccoRaven
Aug 15, 2004

there is only one hell:
the one we live in now


I will be gnome as a replacement this game thank you and goodnight!

imgay
May 12, 2014

dog


Gnomes need more respect.

derp
Jan 21, 2010


Lipstick Apathy

hello.

i was a gnome once, then i grew 'up'

George Kansas
Sep 1, 2008

ad astra per proletarii


wrong thread.

George Kansas fucked around with this message at Jun 2, 2015 around 23:11

Retro Futurist
Aug 8, 2007

Yesterday's Tomorrow,
Today!


Hello

derp
Jan 21, 2010


Lipstick Apathy


you oughta gnome

George Kansas
Sep 1, 2008

ad astra per proletarii



You signin' up?

derp
Jan 21, 2010


Lipstick Apathy

everyone knows thats what hello means in canadian

Retro Futurist
Aug 8, 2007

Yesterday's Tomorrow,
Today!


We just go along with whatever. To decline would be impolite

Samfucius
Sep 8, 2010

And if you gaze long enough into a nest, the nest will gaze back into you.


Make me a cool guy gnome with a fishing pole.

JakeP
Apr 27, 2003



Lipstick Apathy

XD How can I say gnome to this XD

kumba
Nov 8, 2003

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

enjoy the ride


Lipstick Apathy

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

i want to post

JakeP
Apr 27, 2003



Lipstick Apathy

imgay posted:



Yonkles the Gnomish Rogue would like to reprise his role.

I am going to be Sporf the Gnomish Magician

kumba
Nov 8, 2003

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

enjoy the ride


Lipstick Apathy

i am going to be bashful

derp
Jan 21, 2010


Lipstick Apathy

where the gnomes at

JakeP
Apr 27, 2003



Lipstick Apathy

you mean, your gnomies?

derp
Jan 21, 2010


Lipstick Apathy

gnome more mr nice guy

derp
Jan 21, 2010


Lipstick Apathy

add that to your gnomenclature

kumba
Nov 8, 2003

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

enjoy the ride


Lipstick Apathy

gnome i wont

Samfucius
Sep 8, 2010

And if you gaze long enough into a nest, the nest will gaze back into you.


Gnomeone is coming because this is gnome man's land.

Mithross
Apr 27, 2011

Intelligent and bright, they explored a world that was new and strange to them. They liked it, they thought - a whole world just for them! They were dimly aware that a God had created them, was watching them; they called out to him, thanking him in a chittering language, before running off.


I will play in this sure to be monstrosity (I couldn't think of a good gnome pun. I'm very ashamed of myself. But then, if I had thought of a pun, I would just have been ashamed of that. It was a gnome win situation.)

Murmur Twin
Feb 11, 2003

An ever-honest pacifist with no mind for tricks.


This is my sign-up to play;
Gnome wasn't built in a day

kumba
Nov 8, 2003

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

enjoy the ride


Lipstick Apathy

MT is your new avatar a cartoon version of yourself

the resemblance is uncanny

Murmur Twin
Feb 11, 2003

An ever-honest pacifist with no mind for tricks.


Kumbamontu posted:

MT is your new avatar a cartoon version of yourself

the resemblance is uncanny

Haha yup

Full story is that last winter I decided to go into iPhone repair as a side business, and so I asked my boyfriend (an artist/cartoonist) to draw a logo for it. My original idea for a business name was "Shelly Applescreens" (before realizing Apple would sue the poo poo out of me if I used that) and so asked him to draw a sort of me/Jonny Appleseed hybrid, but with smartphones. Later on, my best friend who walks/boards dogs as a side business, asked for a similar logo and so he did one for her too. Full pictures are here.

Epilogue: I realized that (a) I hate cellphone repair, (b) I like my regular job, and (c) my boyfriend is the one who should be going into business for himself.

kumba
Nov 8, 2003

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!

enjoy the ride


Lipstick Apathy

I like the art style, reminds me of Rugrats

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JakeP
Apr 27, 2003



Lipstick Apathy

Mods change my name to Dr. Lipschitz

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