GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

«‹›8 »

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Real news articles about fake news articles about real politicians doing fake things :psyduck:

# ¿ Jul 24, 2015 04:29

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 19:26

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

7 Days in Hell on HBO

pretty good stuff

# ¿ Jul 25, 2015 02:54

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

PINING 4 PORKINS posted:

cracked some cans and decided i should finally see what this True Detective show is all about and oooh man

Season 1 right? The current abortion has been pretty meh

Season one was magic in a bottle

# ¿ Jul 25, 2015 05:02

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

pkells posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gGNCyNXCtw

Same

# ¿ Jul 25, 2015 14:41

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

it's still one of the best things on right now, it just doesn't compare to season 1

i think they stretched themselves too far with 4 leads.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2015 16:05

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

apparently someone likes getting stretched out tho

pkells posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gGNCyNXCtw

# ¿ Jul 25, 2015 17:17

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Nostalgia4Dicks posted:

# ¿ Jul 26, 2015 21:30

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

So is PiA or PiM sex not rape? Asking for a friend.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2015 21:44

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Spicy Guacamole posted:

Surprised nobody has said it yet, but: would.

Didn't need to be said, everyone knew :jackbud:

# ¿ Jul 26, 2015 21:58

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TYVJJZ3ZWM

# ¿ Jul 27, 2015 04:31

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Whip Slagcheek posted:

He def known as the piss pants guy by the court clerks.

Theres gonna be a larger crowd in the room for the next hearing just to see how badly he melts down.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2015 02:23

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Today is not your day. Stay inside porkins.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2015 02:58

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

PINING 4 PORKINS posted:

Guys My Day Has Been Real hosed Up, it started with the Vomit at Court and now my Mom's Car is hosed...

Shut the curtains, hide under the covers & drink until you pass out. Tomorrow can't be any worse.

I mean, it totally could be worse, but try not to think about that.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2015 03:24

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

yeah, there is

im high af right now but i will try to tell it

right after basic and ait i came home and started up school again (because i was a nasty girl). i needed work, and a girl i worked with at an old job got me a shift at a cumberland farms, which is like a lovely wawa/loaf and jug/711/ whatever place that there's a million of in CT and MA.

i worked 3pm-12am at the only gas station in my lil town of 8000 that was open after 10pm. after 9pm it was dead so i would bring in a tv and my playstation and play tony hawk 2 for the rest of the night, selling cigarettes to the people leaving the bar and going to class during the day

since there was nothing much else to do around town my friends used to come down and hang out while i was working which was p. chill

one night my buddy and his gf were hanging out, smoking a cig in front of the store when a car pulls up, parks in the handicap spot, and the dude and girl are arguing while pointing at the store. they drive off after a minute, while we chuckle at their yelling

we go back in and drink slurpees or whatever cumberland farms had, and i grab the trash bags to toss them in the dumpster in the back since there was like a half hour left of the shift. when i walk out, i see the same pontiac sunfire and the dude and lady being all mad at each other. when they see me, they drive off again. i throw the bags in the dumpster, and walk back in to the store. i call the cops, just askin them to drive by and see if they see a sunfire. Dispatcher said they'd be there in like 10 minutes.

10 min later the three of us walk out front to have another cig and see if they're out there again or if the cops were chilling in the lot- nope. We smoke and head back in the store.

about 30 seconds after we walked in the dude and lady storm in the store. the girl starts screaming at my buddy's girlfriend like she was banging her boyfriend. "ARE YOU loving MY BOYFRIEND?!? ARE YOU loving MY BOYFRIEND?!?" while swinging a tire iron like she was donatello on quaaludes. the dude starts screaming that she's crazy, and that she has a tire iron.

She then starts smashing up the candyracks with the iron while screaming she wanted all the money. We had a louisville slugger leaned behind the counter, which was never used because this town was so drat small. I grabbed that poo poo and smashed it against the counter and just yelled at them to get the gently caress out. this seemed to shock everyone since im 6'5" these people were like 5'8 tops (aka the ol' Vasudeus height). I had also wore an Army PT shirt and my dogtags were hanging out because i was a tremendous human being who had left basic like 2 months beforehand and was craving the green cock bad.

So anyways, I smash the counter with the louisville and scream at them to get the gently caress out. everyone jumps, and the girl gets loving PISSED. She starts saying some stupid poo poo while her and the dude start backing out. She throws the sunglasses spinner on the way. I look at my friend and his girl, they're ok.

here's the dumb loving part of the story. My buddy starts running out to see the license plate. I should've stopped him and just waited for them to drive. nope, i was just like "YEAH LETS GET THEIR PLATE NUMBER" and ran out the door behind them

so we stand outside the front door. when you walk out the door there's a sidewalk, and directly to the left is the handicapped spot. the lady's in the car, and the dude sees us as he's going in his car and he starts yelling at us. he then jumps in, start the car and immediately drive at us.

all i remember of it happening is the car being like 5 feet in front of me, then im airborne and im looking through the door and seeing my buddy's girl looking at me horrified and im thinking "Hey, that's Kelly!". then i come to while lying on the ground with my buddy running up from the road screaming out the plate number and dragging his left leg. He was on the right side, so he dived out to the road and only gotten clipped at the knee. i took the force directly in my chest and broke 3 ribs and 2 fingers. to my right was my buddy, to the left was the store, i had nowhere to go but up and over.

i stumble back in and call 911. it's 11:50 pm and of course someone comes to get gas at that point. I'm on the phone calling my boss (who lived like an hour away) that someone tried to rob us and i was hit by a car. im on the phone with her as the gas pump terminal starting dinging, since they were waiting to be authorized. I told the lady over the intercom that we were closed, and my boss was pissed for whatever reason

cops finally come, take our statement and photos and poo poo. my boss finally arrived, and she starts looking at the security tape, and I got to see myself going over the hood. made me sick to my stomach.

they caught them a month later. she was a nurse at a local hospital and he stole cars for a living, and i got to do the police lineup. was pretty fun.

i left the job about 2 months later and started working at pratt and whitney then. wasn't a bad job, just paid poo poo and the robbery wasn't fun.

This is the best r/legaladvise yet imho

# ¿ Jul 29, 2015 12:30

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Managing blockbuster was the worst job I'd ever had. I was there during the whole "no more late fees" campaign and boy were people pissed to find out that yes, there isn't a late fee, but you now own the movie you never returned and are charged like $18 on your account. Returned it late? We'll credit it back minus a 2.50 ~~late~~ restocking fee lol.

I left there to work in a high security men's prison and I was much happier there than I was dealing with pissed off customers.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 01:24

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Booblord Zagats posted:

Also, I just impulse purchased the Death of Superman Lives Documentary, because I'm seriously curious about a movie so bad Nic Cage had to walk away

Let me know if that's worth the watch

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 15:43

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Enjoying all this minimum wage chat. Have a butt.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 15:50

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

That is a fine butt

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 18:03

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av

Spicy Guacamole posted:

https://www.facebook.com/renaudmargry/videos/1161756000506087/

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 23:35

beanieson: Sep 25, 2008; I had the opportunity to change literally anything about the world and I used it to get a new av