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 The assassins have developed time machines. 
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Jun 13, 2015 05:28
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Yo does anybody know a good way to switch a culture from West Slavic to German? I'm playing as the Bohemians based out of Prague, but I've managed to create the Empire of Germania and I like the look of those tasty jousting lists a lot more than beefed-up light cav. Also it kinda makes sense that the German Empire would be German.
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Jun 15, 2015 02:00
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I can't find any Germans or German provinces. Widukind happened (which is weird because I'm not Frankish) but I crushed his rear end and Saxony remains Saxon. Not sure if there are any other German provinces around.
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Jun 15, 2015 02:12
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Is there any console way to end a war that you're not personally involved in? I've got a weird situation where Iceland would be totally down to become my vassal, but they're locked in a weird Faroe Islands Catholic Revolt that literally cannot ever end, because nobody has any boats. They're just sitting on various islands shaking their fists at each other for eternity.Eric the Mauve posted:Since
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Jun 22, 2015 08:16
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Finland is not loving around in my current game.
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Jul 10, 2015 09:15
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My Horse Lords experience so far: game CTDs on launch six times in a row. When it finally starts working, I start a Turkestan game and immediately get dogpiled by three different people, at which point the game crashed. Paradox.txt
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Jul 14, 2015 23:03
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Groogy posted:You're a modder right if I remember correctly? If you modify any game files Steam refuses to touch those files forever and you have to delete them manually and tell steam to download them again.
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Jul 14, 2015 23:30
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Is there any way to console myself a son? I've got a ridiculous game right now where my king (with 105% fertility, a wife, 3 concubines and 4 lovers) has managed to pump out 9 daughters and no sons. I think I've physically reached the maximum number of children I'm allowed. I'm tribal, so I can't switch to A-C. When the king dies, it's game over. It just seems like kind of a dumb way to lose the game- hitting the hard limit on children. It's not like a real king would run out of jizz or anything.
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Jul 17, 2015 02:59
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RIP Prince Mayor Tarran III "the Quarreler" of Pictland: got drunk, lost a game of Warhammer, got into a fistfight with his opponent, died of resulting injuries. It is worth noting that he earned his nickname over ten years prior when, during a game of Warhammer, he flipped the table and punched his opponent in the face; the exact same opponent who would accidentally kill him ten years later. SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 07:37 on Oct 2, 2016 |
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Oct 2, 2016 07:30
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Have they changed it so that Merchant Republics can't get Popegold? I've been +100 with three different popes, and they all turned me down.
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Oct 2, 2016 10:52
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Coward posted:Two things usually stop Pope gold. One is that the AI jas been hitting the Pope for it and he doesn't actually have the money to treat you (more likely to happen with Merchant Republics due to your massive income). The second is if the Pope is Greedy he will never part with the cash. Also weird thing, if you go tribal --> merchant as the Picts, you don't seem to get the event that changes your culture to Scottish. It's been over 200 years and it still hasn't triggered. I want those pike retinues, dammit. Also also, anybody got any tips moving forward here? It's Ironman. Cornwall is obviously next once that truce wears off, but I'm really not sure how to deal with England. Right now I'm currently gobbling it up with the seize city --> seize county CB chain but it's painfully slow going, and (as you can probably see) is leaving some weird duchy boundaries. Meanwhile, England is slowly getting turned into De Jure Bavaria because inheritance is weird; I outnumber them 2:1 but they have a ton of powerful allies and I'd probably lose a straight-up war without being clever about it.  (nb I changed the country name manually - it's still Pictland) SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 23:43 on Oct 2, 2016 |
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Oct 2, 2016 23:34
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Okay, this is definitely one of the weirder games I've played. Started as one of those tribal leaders along the Vistula, with the plan of just chilling out and making regular old Poland. At some point, my chief got cancer, and it tripped the event to search all the world for a renowned physician. Dude turns out to be Muslim, and after multiple failed attempts to cure my cancer, an event triggers where he says "I've tried everything except Allah. If you become a Muslim, maybe I can save your life." Well hell I said, what's the worst that could happen. Turns out, hussars + muslim invasion CB + european location with lots of catholics nearby leads to some pretty ridiculous poo poo. The Catholics will gang up on you if you use any of your decent CBs, but that's good because it stops your dukes from getting anything new, but doesn't actually mean much to you, the player. The sheer number of high-quality light cav at your disposal means you can defeat much larger armies (we're talking 1.5x larger on normal terrain, 2-3x if you use hills and rivers) and you'll absolutely wreck them in pursuit. Seriously, hussars managed to stop the mongol doomstacks dead in their tracks.  As well as the obvious pink empire, Sweden and Pannonia are Muslim-Polish. Next I'm going after Rus.
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Jan 24, 2017 13:54
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I have a problem. As far as I can tell, I control the entire Kingdom of Ruthenia: every duchy, county, mosque, barony and city. For some reason, it isn't becoming a De Jure part of my empire. What could I be missing?  
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Jan 26, 2017 12:03
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TjyvTompa posted:Looks like you are missing a duchy in the upper right belonging to the byzantines. 
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Jan 26, 2017 12:43
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Ooooh. I don't usually play Eastern Europe so I didn't realise where the boundaries were supposed to be - I was looking in the righthand side of my own kingdom. Thanks!
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Jan 26, 2017 13:32
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I had the idea to make an immortal count who schleps around Europe scheming and causing trouble. It didn't go so well. Turns out, if you torture somebody while you have the 'insane' trait, it gets, well weird  I don't think there's any way around it either -- it happened three times in a row with different people. If an insane person tortures their victim, they tickle the poo poo out of them.
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Feb 1, 2017 03:33
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I was kinda relying on having ridiculously high intrigue (38) to get around that. Although being fair, I've now captured and tickled three different Italian kings and they all kinda just went "ahaha this guy amirite". Two of them immediately promoted me.
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Feb 1, 2017 03:47
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Oh god help. My gay younger son kept trying to murder his older brother. I tried to have him arrested (like 90%!) but he got away and fled to the Vatican. He's Pope now. I don't understand how it happened, but my bad gay son is the Pope, he's very unhappy with me, and he's still plotting to kill his brother and stage a Vatican takeover of Scotland.  edit: this just got MORE confusing. I just realised my bad gay nephew. There's two of them and this one made it to the Vatican on his own. They are both, independently, planning to kill my son and heir. This loving game, man. edit 2: Aaaw yeah, Pope problem solved with some sweet chancellor action. 
SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 23:09 on Feb 2, 2017 |
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Feb 2, 2017 22:52
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I don't have any early screencaps of Princess Maisie, because she was supposed to die. She's the daughter of the Scottish queen and a skilled Nahua courtier who would deign to matrilineally marry. Without my permission, she got married to a French king and started popping out babies that woulda ruined my bloodline. This was the late 14th-century in an ironman game started at Charlemagne, and damned if I was gonna lose because somebody ran off with a Frenchman. She was the heir, and had two children who were behind her in the line of succession, neither of my dynasty. By the time I realised, she was chaste, gay and bedridden with cancer: -50% fertility right off the bat. Her own mum assassinated her two kids, and I said "problem solved" -- when she died, it would pass to her little sister who was matrilineally married. So she's gay, chaste, bedridden with cancer, both her children are dead, and her conniving French husband is off loving other women. Her mum dies, and I'm kinda going "well this won't take long." I appointed the worst court physician possible, then went to him and asked him to cure her cancer. He cut off her hand, but he succeeded. She's up and about now. An event fires that lets her switch chaste for lustful, and I grabbed it. Crown focus, and she grabs ambitious and diligent. It was around this time I started to take her fuckin seriously. The Frenchman was a problem, so she had him whacked and replaced with a nice Jewish boy to help keep the family line on track. It's Cognatic Primogeniture and by this point in the game, the house of Uib are hilariously inbred (hence getting nahua guys in etc). She's in her 30s at this point and I'm not banking on any future kids, so she goes about whacking everybody in the line of succession who has undesirable genetic traits, until the heir doesn't suck. That's about when we get to here:  Parts of Ireland are de jure drifting into some weird French kingdom and I wanted none of that, so Maisie went military focus and decided to put the boot into them. She turns out to be the most successful military campaigner I've ever had: winning multiple large wars while heavily outnumbered, making clever use of pikes and terrain -- TEACH THOSE FRENCH BAWBAGS TAE COME OVER HERE. She gets a papal pardon for all that child/kin murderin', and, at 44 and 49, manages to pop out sons while leading an army against  She wins more wars, but loses her husband and youngest son to disease. Her heir comes of age, and is pretty badass in and of himself. She turns to religion to find solace for her loss, but continues to kick the poo poo out of the French pretty much for the hell of it. And then the game ends. The woman who was meant to immediately die survived right down until the final year of the game. If not for breaking multiple treaties with the  FRENCH , she'd have absurdly high prestige -- somewhere in the 15k range, and be listed as the most successful ruler Scotland ever had.  Queen Maisie the Gracious: the Mexican Lesbian who was supposed to die quietly, and instead became the greatest Scottish monarch of all time. SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Feb 3, 2017 |
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Feb 3, 2017 10:59
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  there is no way this could get any weirder  oh
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Feb 21, 2017 01:15
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 A good event
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Mar 8, 2017 00:53
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I wish the Hermetic Order and the Scholarship Focus had more event overlap -- right now you can simultaneously build an observatory and a laboratory, and it doesn't do anything. OR more overlap between Satanists and the Cthulhu event track.
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Mar 8, 2017 03:53
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It was probably obvious, but I just realised you can use the power of Satan to brainwash your council, then pass whatever laws you want without needing to worry about bribes etc.
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Mar 8, 2017 06:07
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I gave birth to the Antichrist, and somehow this triggered the demon-Aztec Invasion 300-400 years early. 9th century Europe was not ready for that poo poo. In other news, don't pay your Satanist vassals to build a monument for you 
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Mar 8, 2017 20:45
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darthbob88 posted:I saw something on Reddit about inducting Glitterhoof into Satanism, but there's also Satanist Pope Horse MD. This loving game.
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Mar 9, 2017 01:45
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Seems legit
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Mar 13, 2017 19:03
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So if you really gently caress up the chess game with death, he goes after the rest of your line too. I got game over'd because I tried to cheat and the reaper caught me.
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Mar 22, 2017 02:53
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Uh so, my king is 12, he's the last of his line, and somebody is trying to kill him. I have not been able to discover the plot. Is there any way to salvage this game?
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Mar 22, 2017 04:47
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I can't go into hiding -- I just keep dying like ten seconds after the last ironman save and that's the only way I know there's a plot. Spymaster is at +12 which is not great but could be worse? edit: okay after replaying a few times, I've figured out who it is: some random insane priestess. She has crazy high intrigue, and arrest chance is 29%. Gonna have to save scum to arrest her which is not really in the spirit of ironman but it's game over otherwise. SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Mar 22, 2017 |
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Mar 22, 2017 04:51
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So, my current game, the Byzantines did better than I've ever seen them do -- they controlled all their original holdings, all of Italy south of (and including) Rome, counties all over the Med coast, and all of the major islands. When I wasn't looking, the Mongols rolled them. The Mongols now control an unbroken swath of land from Mongolia to loving Spain.
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Apr 4, 2017 03:57
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The Mongols are coming apart from the inside! Their 75k troops were no match for uh Serbia and Jerusalem?  Fun fact: since Rome has been lost, the Pope lives in "Jerusalem" which is somewhere in Eastern Europe.
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Apr 4, 2017 04:37
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Okay so this is what I THINK happened 1) I won a Crusade for the Kingdom of Jerusalem 2) I donated the Kingdom to the Knights Templar but for some reason I could only give them the kingdom title: not any counties or duchies within it so 3) I gave all the counties of Jerusalem to the Papacy. 4) the Byzantines took Rome, so the Pope relocated to Jerusalem. 5) the Knights Templar, who controlled a bunch of random stuff in Eastern Europe, made the Kingdom of Jerusalem their primary title. The Pope is their vassal. 6) the Mongols won a subjugation war against the Byzantines. 7) the Mongols won a subjugation war against the weird Eastern-European Knight Templar Kingdom of Jerusalem. 8) Jerusalem and "Serbia" (which is a whole bunch of random individual counties spread all over the show) somehow won an independence war against the Mongols. Keep in mind this is almost entirely the AI's fault. My whole goal is just to chill the gently caress out in Belfast and earn $$$. Apart from giving out the crusade wins weirdly, I had no part in this madness SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 05:08 on Apr 4, 2017 |
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Apr 4, 2017 05:03
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Bizarro-Jerusalem is growing Meanwhile, my plan for a chill and secure Ireland is uh -- under threat 
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Apr 5, 2017 01:38
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Eh, I could actually hold them off if I needed to. All their event troops are gone (they got kited around Lapland for ages, and the attrition destroyed them) and they have about 40k they can pull up, but I have 46k. If they hadn't flipped Catholic, I'd be seriously considering holy-warring Western Scotland.
SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 02:40 on Apr 5, 2017 |
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Apr 5, 2017 02:37
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Skellybones posted:Why is France in Denmark and Demark in Finland Because anything can happen when you start in 769.
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Apr 5, 2017 22:00
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Satanism shouldn't be overdone, but it's very useful if there's fucky inheritance stuff going on. So like, if the Duke of Lancaster has a strong claim on Northumbria and keeps trying to push it, you can just kidnap/sacrifice people until the claim disappears. Being able to kidnap/kill vassals to prematurely end vassal wars is also pretty useful. Way less chance of detection and maluses than arrest/murder/execution -- faster and more reliable than the intrigue focus and definitely better than waiting for them to slip up and give you a reason. Sometimes, you need to do evil for the good of the realm. If your realm is stable, Hermetics blows everybody else out of the water. If poo poo goes sideways, hail Satan. The other two really need a patch to make them actually useful. SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 22:26 on Apr 6, 2017 |
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Apr 6, 2017 22:23
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Is there a nomad start that doesn't loving suck? Every single time, I get rolled within six months. It's either an internal conflict by a single dude who somehow has 300% of my forces or I get dogpiled by everybody nearby.
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Apr 7, 2017 08:49
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Okay, so I started as the Satrap of Tabriz in 769 and somehow I've managed to create the Kingdom of Persia while still being an Abbasid vassal. I'm gonna try to become Saoshyant eventually. Right now I'm building up power within the Abbasid Empire and becoming the biggest nastiest superduke I can be. I'm on-track to expand and independence revolt, but what do I do about the Mongols? There's a constant worry that they're gonna come in and curbstomp me, and the more I expand the more likely I am to become a target. I've got about 300 years to prepare.
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Apr 11, 2017 04:26
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My Republic needed more trade posts, so I went seduction focus and popped out as many legitimized bastards as I could. I had 7 in the end. Every single fuckin one of them ran off to join a knightly order, and I never even got consulted because they'd spread out into other courts for some reason.
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Apr 15, 2017 04:07
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 19:02 |
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If you control a small kingdom and aren't planning on expanding, do not give major titles to family members. I finally figured out what was causing the rampant AI incest, and it's that: if multiple family members are dukes, eventually one will be a duchess, then they'll marry to try and superduke it up. I think there must be something else going on there -- I've had entire kingdoms point-blank refuse to marry anybody they weren't related to, but I'm still piecing together this terrifying hapsburg-jaw reality I've created. SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 00:09 on May 9, 2017 |
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May 9, 2017 00:06
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