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FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Shadeoses posted:

We got your regular northern savages


Are the steppe horse nomads really called Ungols in Warhammer?

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FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Jain Mongols conquering the world and having huge hunts is also funny because Jainism is a religion of pacifist vegetarians who are so anti-violence that they don't even kill insects and root vegetables.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Moon Slayer posted:

What's a fun/interesting non-Catholic, non-Norse start? I've played 1066 Ireland to death and the Norse seem really OP.

Try the Khazar Khanate. You start with a pretty big area, a decent amount of money and since you're tribal you can expand pretty easily and can choose to become either feudal or a republic. Your biggest challenge is that you are Jewish but very little of the area you control is and you have some rather unruly christian Alan vassals. You are also surrounded by other tribal Turkic states but all of them are Tengri and can easily conquer you.

Hard as balls but if you get the ball rolling you can do pretty well.

If that is too easy for you can always start as Semien. A tiny little Jewish petty kingdom in the middle of Ethiopia with Christians on all sides. You can, with a lot of luck, manage to take over enough land to form a kingdom but if you want an empire you'll have to take over all of Egypt which is basically suicide.


The Magyars are also a fun start. You start out at war with Bulgaria with a bunch of free event troops at your disposal. The amount of troops you start with has been drastically nerfed since the Old Gods came out but it should still be enough for you to take over most of or even all of Bulgaria without too much trouble. I think you still get some extra event troops when you form Hungary but I suspect it's no longer enough men for you to conquer most of the world with. If you want to be historically accurate you can convert to Catholicism but there's nothing stopping you from converting to any of the other organized religions or even trying to reform Tengri. Your king at the start is pretty old and wont last long and his son is a bit poo poo but at least you start with an adult heir.

FreudianSlippers fucked around with this message at 04:13 on Jun 13, 2015

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

You start as good ol' grandpa Temujiin of the Mongol empire in 1220. You are Tengri and at war with Persia and everything you occupy will become yours even if it's outside of de jure Persia. Focus on the provinces that border India. After you take a bunch of those Hindus and Jains should start sending people to convert you. If you don't have the patience for that just raid Jain states until you can take a Jain concubine.

FreudianSlippers fucked around with this message at 06:01 on Jun 13, 2015

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Playing as Aegon the Conqueror is fun because you're basically totally invincible if you play your cards right:



Although in my first attempt Aegon died in the very first battle of the war for the Westerlands and my dragon went crazy and wrecked a bunch of poo poo and everything sort of collapsed.


It also handles civil war in a pretty cool way. If one of the major vassals of the Iron Throne rebels everyone becomes independent and must choose which side they want to support or if they want to remain neutral.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

If you play as any of the major book characters you get event chains based on the books. Which allows you to do things like bypass the quagmire of Meereen altogether as Daenerys by simply saying "lol gently caress this" and invading Westeros.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

The simplest way is to get a German to educate your heir. If you have ROI you could also move your capital to a German area and take a decision to change to the local culture.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

So when are we going to get werewolves?

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Edward the Holy Devil
Richard the Lionheart Lion
William the Terrible Rash

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Broken Cog posted:

What's the best way of doing a Nestorian/Messalian run these days? (Without cheating, I usually play Ironman)

If you like a good challenges start as the island just east of the horn of Africa. Pretty sure the ruler there is Nestorian in most starts.

Alternatively start as Genghis Khan. One of his sons is married to Nestorian woman and can easily convert.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Technically the game includes China since it has Uyghurs and most of Xinjiang. Even it it didn't become part of China until a few centuries after the game takes place. But that's a mere technicality as the People's Republic is not bound by the fourth dimension.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

It's a bit funny that you can play as the emperor of China but only the western edge of the empire is actually in the game.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

At first I was really surprised there was a special Cuman portrait pack since I thought they were basically just Turks. But then I did a bit of research and found out that I was being racist against Cumans since they apparently were very distinct from most of the other Turkic peoples and most of them had blonde hair. But from what I've seen the portrait pack doesn't really seem to reflect that.

FreudianSlippers fucked around with this message at 23:11 on Jul 20, 2015

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Strudel Man posted:



I don't think the "inbred levels" in there are actually a meaningful measure, but still, it's pretty amusing.

I hope that for the next DLC we get four more levels of the inbred trait so we can recreate this.

Koramei posted:

Even for the non-Cuman people, Turkic is like the broadest ethnic group there is, the Seljuks and Kazakhs share about as much of a resemblance as Irish and Moors do.

Although I admit that I was generalizing grossly about Turkic peoples, who are no doubt hugely diverse, but I can't help but to think that there might be a slightly stronger resemblance between people who live in the same region(which admittedly is huge) and speak related languages than between people in Ireland and people in the Maghreb. Who speak totally unrelated languages and live in totally different regions.

Sidenote:
Back when the Ottoman Empire was at itīs height "Turk" became synonymous with Muslim in a lot of places. Much like how "Saracen" and "Moor" had before. For example in Iceland it became legal to kill any and all Turks after a slave raid in 1627. However no Turks were actually involved in the raid. The ships were out of Algeria but the captain was Dutch and most of the crew were either Algerian or European pirates who had migrated to the Barbary. The Hungarians were also seen as being Turks by the Byzantines but I think that might have been because they were Tengriist nomads.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

The After the End horde should obviously be Cascadian barbarians from the deepest forests of the Pacific Northwest.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Romuva should probably get more attention seeing as they kept on trucking for almost 400 year after Norse paganism went out of fashion and that longevity should give them at least bit of an edge. You could also argue that "Suemensko" is still a thing among some Sami and Mari people who simply incorporated christian elements into their paganism.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Autonomous Monster posted:

I will not rest until we have everything up to and including a fully featured Mithraic Mysteries in the game. :colbert:

(Serious talk: I find the mystery religions really cool despite the fact that we know basically nothing about them. Maybe because of that.)

They wouldn't be very good mystery religions if they weren't mysterious would they?

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

GSD posted:

Byzantium in Denmark. :psyduck:

This actually sort of fitting since the Greek royal family is mostly Danish. Greece hasn't had a king since 1973 though so he, and the rest of the family, mostly just hang around with their relatives who are the Danish royal family.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

What are some good horde starts?

I wanna try the 867 Khazars but my previous attempts at getting them anywhere have all ended in disaster. Does being a horde give them any sort of buff?

I've also considered starting as far-east horde and working my way towards Persia through the silk road and then converting to Zoroastrianism and Persian culture because I've yet to manage to do a decent Zoroastrian game.

FreudianSlippers fucked around with this message at 05:45 on Aug 30, 2015

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Decided to give the 867 Khazars a try. Was doing pretty great until my khagan died and literally everyone under him rebelled despite his son being a pretty decent guy. The Georgians and Dyre the Stranger also decide to invade while everyone is rebelling leaving me totally hosed.

FreudianSlippers fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Aug 31, 2015

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Playing as the Khazars with the long term plan of creating the Republic of Israel and wrecking everyone's poo poo. Things are going pretty good except for the fact that my oldest son converted to Islam while he was a mercenary and when I tried to imprison him to force him to convert, which I think Jews might not be able to do, he ran away to some lovely dude in Arabia. I then sent my other son away in the hopes that he'd get more prestige and become my new heir. Not only is he a slightly worse mercenary than his brother but he's also converted to Germanic paganism.

I think this might slow down my Zionist plans a bit.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

When is a good time to settle as a horde?


I'm playing as the Khazars and I've managed to get myself a fairly large area. I don't know if I can keep expanding much more than this. I might consider trying to get the rest of the Jewish holy sites while I have access to this many troops and then maybe settle as a republic and let the money just flow in like crazy.

The reason I managed to take that chunk of the Abbasids is because they somehow lost it to a Shia revolt and I took it all in one subjugation.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Is it totally impossible for Jews to force convert their vassals?
I've built the third temple and restored the priesthood but even the guys in my dungeon can't be made to convert. Jewish moral authority is around 80 and most of my vassals are Sunni and Shia, both of which have MA totally in the shitter.

Also Persia apperently drank way too much and shat itself:

I had nothing to do with any of this. They just started having weekly mass revolts for no apparent reason and have been at it for years with some becoming independent every now and then.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Sweden went catholic before the year 900 but the kings are Pomeranians.

Autonomous Monster posted:

It's totally impossible for nomads to force-convert their vassals.

Ah that expains it. I should probably grab some more coastal land and then settle as a republic and roll in insane amounts of cash from having so much of the silk road.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!


The most elaborate suicide ever

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Can't I have tradeposts in both the Indian ocean and the Mediterianian/Atlanic?

I have a few tradeposts in the Levant and Anatolia but I can't build one in Sinai or any of my Persian or Arabian holdings. It says "not accessible by sea" in the tooltip.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

I've been having a lot of fun playing as the Duke of Rostov in 1066. I'm pretty sure playing as Rurik's desendants in 1066 is a far better tutorial now than Ireland is. You're surrounded by small allied states with not too many enemies and plenty of pagans to pick on. You can form the kingdom of Rus very easily and have claims on basically all of the other Rurikid states. Rostov is tribal but I'm pretty sure some of the other Rurikids are feudal.

sidenote:
How far into modern China and Mongolia does the new map reach?

I assume it has most of Xinjiang but I'm not really good enough with maps. Is there anywhere I could find a good comparison of the CK2 projection and a proper map of the same areas because I hear there is a lot of distortion and irregularities.

FreudianSlippers fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Sep 19, 2015

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

NewMars posted:

There's the bad guy from the brothers lionheart in gotland.

This rules.

When is he?

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

I think playing as the Mongol Empire might be too easy. I just took Poland, Hungary and the entire HRE (including almost all of Italy) basically at the same time. I'm not even having that many revolts.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Broken Cog posted:

I'm trying to go for the "Rule the Kingdom of Mongolia as a Norse character". Do you have to wait for the mongol hordes to show up to grab that title?

I think all you actually need to do is get to Mongolia and form the kingdom once you control enough of it.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

I hope they add all of Asia except China.

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:


Expanding Pagans, which Groggy has said no to all but the Norse. :v:


Iīve said it before but Romuva and "Suemensko" should get more features than Norse because the former lasted almost four centuries longer than the Norse did and the latter was still the dominant religion in Lapland until the 18th century and that sort of Finno-Ugric paganism that "suemensko" seems to be used as a umbrella term for is still a thing among the Mari of Russia although in a syncretic form reminiscant of Voodoo where they technically Christianized but mostly just added Jesus and Mary to the existing pantheon.

Of course adding more features to them might be slightly tricky because they weren't really as into writing as the Nordics were so there isn't as much to go on.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

When playing Charlamange does it make any difference if you burn the sacred tree or not for the huge Saxon rebellion?

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Why is Saladin Levantine in the game? I thought he was Kurdish.

Baron Porkface posted:

How does this happen?

If you take Saxony the Child of the Forest rebels with twelve thousand men behind him because you burned his weirwood or some poo poo.

I think they might also still rebel even if you don't burn it because I imagine they're pretty pissed about some foreigner coming in and taking all their poo poo and telling them their gods aren't real and also chopping of the heads of several thousand people for not converting properly. Which I don't think you can actually do in the game, or at least I didn't get an event for it. Maybe they didn't feel like putting in an event for what basically amounts to ethnic cleansing.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Be a nomad. That way you can attack basically anyone you want whenever you want for no real reason. With invasion CB you can even take all of their land in one go since you get the area you declared the invasion for and anything else you occupy the top holding of.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

I think starting as Charlemagne might be slightly too easy.

I plan to conquer all of Spain and give it to the Pope.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Meh.

I've done that before and don't really feel like doing it again. I'm even considering splitting the Byzantine empire again once I turn it fully Catholic.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Groogy posted:

Fix what?

Give Ethopians a different clothing style than the dudes in Mali. Just have them use middle eastern clothes or something. Because as is it's pretty silly.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

One of my first non disastrous runs was as Navarra. I swallowed up all the smaller Muslims states I could handle. Meanwhile Castille swallowed up all of the other Christian states. I had married my son to the oldest daughter of the king of Castille mostly to help secure our alliance through some light incest. Then somehow all of his sons managed to get themselves killed just before their father keeled over (without me having anything to do with it) and his daughter inherited. Not long after my king also died and now all but the southernmost parts of Iberia were under the control of either Navarra or Castille. A few decades later both of them died and their son suddenly had more than enough land to form an empire.


Somewhere down the line I married my heir to a byzantine princess and then as her son I pressed her claim and when she died a short time later I was suddenly double emperor. This was a while back so there was a lot more bugs, for example I managed to convert the Ecumenical Patriarch to Catholicism which created a strange situation where there were still many Orthodox people around but their head of religion wasn't their religion. Another bug was that provinces tended to randomly turn into wasteland every now and then. Which was a bit annoying.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

StashAugustine posted:

Or the Khazars if you want hardmode

Semien is hardmode. Khazars are nomadic which at the moment makes them basically unstoppable.

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FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Shaman Ooglaboogla posted:

They appear randomly if you are Muslim, Christian, or Zoroastrian. You don't have to invite them.

They should also really appear for Romuva since pagan Lithuania was a refuge for Jews since the locals didn't really care who allegedly killed Jesus or who Jesus even was. But that doesnīt seem to be a thing.

So Paradox people add that in the next patch so, tia.

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