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SkaAndScreenplays
Dec 11, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


I'd only ever played 20 or so minutes of the first AC, but I forced myself through this one because Pirates

The only redeeming part of this game is Sailing (cause sea shanties) and the goddamned Tradewinds style minigame. When the most engaging part of your vidyagame is cruising aimlessly on a brig...you have problems.

Combat,: Weak and uninteresting. There's no skill required and to make things interesting I was forced to let myself get mobbed by 20/30 guards at a time to get anything near a challenge.

Ship Battles: Far too easy - the pacing was awful in terms of 'lovely stolen brig' to 'deadly pirate vessel. This was still fun though, but being able to board ships/repair my own mid fleet battle made things too easy.

'Free Running': The AC Developers should have gone to dice and said "Hey...you made this fantastic parkour game called Mirror's Edge and we will give you actual money for that game mechanic...because ours is poo poo. I figured this would be a mechanic they would have improved in the what...10 years the series has been running (hated it in the first one too)...nope.

Stealth: Pedestrian at best. Zero challenge whatsoever. It's easy to be when everyone you're trying to sneak past sucks at their job.

Storyline: Bland, unpredictable, directionless, and bat-poo poo crazy. Why did no one tell me there were aliens? The assassin/templar feud is contrived and beyond cliche. Characters sucked (With the exception of James Kidd, Ben Hornigold, and that cheery Pirate/Assasin chick in Havana. I didn't care about Kenway in the slightest.

BIGGEST GRIPE
If you want to make historical fanfiction games don't interrupt your boring story when it finally gets interesting by making me play 'Office Employee' for way longer than is necessary.

tl;dr

Assassin's Creed is Garbage.

EDIT:
Fortunately I got it free from Games on Gold so it didn't damage me financially.

SkaAndScreenplays fucked around with this message at Jun 8, 2015 around 04:33

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THE PENETRATOR
Jul 27, 2014

by Lowtax


Thanks for the review OP.
thankS.

SkaAndScreenplays
Dec 11, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


THE PENETRATOR posted:

Thanks for the review OP.
thankS.

I detect sarcasm.

Don't care, needed to rant.

ITT: We pitch a good version of Assassin's Creed.

Ciaphas
Nov 20, 2005

> propitiate the dread god arengee




Pillbug

Not far from correct really but I had a lot more fun with sailing and ship combat than you did apparently

Did you ever try fighting the big four ships of the line?

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!


I got loving goon'd by this game. Oh it's not like the other AssCreed's everyone said but it actually was just the same old tired poo poo only in smaller cities and with a slow and mediocre version of Sid Meier's Pirates! built in. Then it happened again for motherfucking Far Cry 4, another mediocre as gently caress game with one or two cool features that get boring after 30 minutes.

SkaAndScreenplays
Dec 11, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Ciaphas posted:

Not far from correct really but I had a lot more fun with sailing and ship combat than you did apparently

Did you ever try fighting the big four ships of the line?

Yeah, those were fun.

And naval combat was really really fun until you get OP. The legendary ship battles were awesome though.

Whaling was pretty badass too.

Even the good parts of the game end up due to repetitiveness. It got to the point that I didn't even bother boarding and just pumped a broadside in to sink them.

As soon as you have the Mortar it breaks everything but the most badass of ships.

Endorph
Jul 22, 2009



black flag would be a fine game if they got rid of the loving modern cutscenes

is there anyone in the loving world who cares about the modern assassin's creed story? i need to know. at least the historical fiction stuff has a couple of fun characters per game, all the modern characters are just boring suits who grumble at each other about incomprehensible bullshit that it's impossible for anyone to care about.

SkaAndScreenplays
Dec 11, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Endorph posted:

black flag would be a fine game if they got rid of the loving modern cutscenes

is there anyone in the loving world who cares about the modern assassin's creed story? i need to know
'Here's this character driven story with some pretty decent visuals'

"OH LOOK IT'S A VIDYA GAME INSIDE A VIDYA GAME...SOO META'

I don't think I would have been so upset if those hadn't been there. Especially considering the fact that there's no endgame to that story arcbullshit.

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014





well, i thought it was a lot of fun

Doc M
Jan 6, 2011

I enjoy metal because of its dark, creepy, intense aesthetic.



I will be sure to avoid this video game.

CharlestonJew
Jul 7, 2011

Your next post will be "im gay"


Illegal Hen

its better than every other assassin's creed but that's a low bar to pass

THE PENETRATOR
Jul 27, 2014

by Lowtax


SkaAndScreenplays posted:

I detect sarcasm.

Don't care, needed to rant.

ITT: We pitch a good version of Assassin's Creed.

My posts are always sincere.

MUSCULAR BEAVER
Dec 26, 2014

HENDO! HENDO!

hello this is the something awful games 1.0 forum police and the following are the good video games you are allowed to enjoy and discuss in our friendly hugbox:

1)assassins creed
2)final fantasy
3)nintendo
4)star citizen

Control Volume
Dec 31, 2008



it was just okay, in my opinion


far cry 4 was the superior ubisoft game

Isaacs Alter Ego
Sep 18, 2007
Little hand says its time to rock and roll.

They should just release separate AC games, one can be Assassins Creed: Boring Office Sticky Note Hunt Edition, and the other can be Pirate Boating With No Tailing Missions Edition.

That way we'll get to have fun and Ubisoft can keep their modern crap.

Liquid Penguins
Feb 18, 2006

by Cowcaster


Grimey Drawer

Isaacs Alter Ego posted:

They should just release separate AC games, one can be Assassins Creed: Boring Office Sticky Note Hunt Edition, and the other can be Pirate Boating With No Tailing Missions Edition.

That way we'll get to have fun and Ubisoft can keep their modern crap.

Actually they should not do this, and not make any more assassin's creed games at all.

evilmiera
Dec 14, 2009

Status:Perpetually fearful

SkaAndScreenplays posted:

I detect sarcasm.

Don't care, needed to rant.

ITT: We pitch a good version of Assassin's Creed.

A game where you aren't a combat god but have to carefully plan out assassinations sort of like Hitman instead of just following the plotpoints until you reach your target and you either kill them, they run away, or they run away and then you kill them. Just in a medieval to I guess near modern setting. Where climbing poo poo is just one tool at your disposal instead of one of the main ones.

Edit: vvv Never played that far in that, so I wouldn't know.

Endorph
Jul 22, 2009



evilmiera posted:

A game where you aren't a combat god but have to carefully plan out assassinations sort of like Hitman instead of just following the plotpoints until you reach your target and you either kill them, they run away, or they run away and then you kill them. Just in a medieval to I guess near modern setting. Where climbing poo poo is just one tool at your disposal instead of one of the main ones.
mark of the ninja?

Orv
May 4, 2011

"To. Ya' know. Stuff."
(Nazi Rank <3)


Endorph posted:

mark of the ninja?

Not really what is being described there.

Stick Figure Mafia
Dec 11, 2004

We've run outta retro!

SkaAndScreenplays posted:

'Here's this character driven story with some pretty decent visuals'

"OH LOOK IT'S A VIDYA GAME INSIDE A VIDYA GAME...SOO META'

I don't think I would have been so upset if those hadn't been there. Especially considering the fact that there's no endgame to that story arcbullshit.

im sorry you were so upset

Dee Ehm
Apr 10, 2014


Black Flag was okay, but it was really trivially easy. With so many instant-kill options, the absurd blowgun and smoke bombs, stealth was completely unnecessary as you could facetank your way through anything, but stealth is also incredibly easy?

Not having so many consumables and tools to get you out of bad situations, making mass combat impossible without pirates backing you up, and making actions have a bit more consequence would have improved the game a ton. Guards attacking just meant a brief, easily dispatched fight and notoriety on the ocean was absurdly easy to remove, and only meant that you'd get occasional free deliveries of metal.

Somehow, the King of England offering a pardon to all pirates was a big plot point. I however was regularly sacking his fortresses, attacked every ship he owned, and could freely dock in his cities, while waving the black flag, and sell what I looted from his fleet. I'm not sure what more the King could do to pardon me.

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

I am gently caressed by my SAnta


Fun Shoe

saw 20 posts and was disappointed... sigh, c'mon assasin's creed black fklag thread was bad thread... you can do better than this

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

lewtt
Apr 2, 2011



The Great Twist

SHISHKABOB posted:

saw 20 posts and was disappointed... sigh, c'mon assasin's creed black fklag thread was bad thread... you can do better than this

a thread about a thread about a game with another game in it?

can't bring myself to play another rear end game. I liked rear end 2 and ezio autistore at first, but got quickly bored with the repetitive and pretty limited poo poo you can do in a freeroam.

I might consider playing another if they make it so I can go back in time and retcon/multiverse/timeline their stupid DNA-mind-memory reading poo poo.

mabels big day
Feb 25, 2012



Doc Morbid posted:

I will be sure to avoid this video game.

Panzeh
Nov 27, 2006



evilmiera posted:

A game where you aren't a combat god but have to carefully plan out assassinations sort of like Hitman instead of just following the plotpoints until you reach your target and you either kill them, they run away, or they run away and then you kill them. Just in a medieval to I guess near modern setting. Where climbing poo poo is just one tool at your disposal instead of one of the main ones.

Edit: vvv Never played that far in that, so I wouldn't know.

Like the game where you can just sit in a doorway and annihilate every guard who walks through with your dual pistols.

clone on the phone
Aug 5, 2003



An assassin game where you're actually a pirate. And sometimes a cubicle slave.

Oh Ubisoft.

Orange Fluffy Sheep
Jul 26, 2008

Bad EXP received


Did you just say a story being unpredictable was a negative?

SkaAndScreenplays
Dec 11, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

Did you just say a story being unpredictable was a negative?

Meant to say 'predictable'

Agrias120
Jun 27, 2002

I will burn my dread.


mods please change this thread title to "Just Finished Assassin's Creed [any entry in series] And It Was Bad" tia

SkaAndScreenplays
Dec 11, 2013

by FactsAreUseless


I just went back to see if I could find anything interesting in the materials you "hack"

Apparently they think we've all forgotten frogger...

Seriously WHAT THE gently caress?

It's goddamned frogger.

Vitamin P
Nov 19, 2013

just so it's clear

Endorph posted:

black flag would be a fine game if they got rid of the loving modern cutscenes

is there anyone in the loving world who cares about the modern assassin's creed story? i need to know. at least the historical fiction stuff has a couple of fun characters per game, all the modern characters are just boring suits who grumble at each other about incomprehensible bullshit that it's impossible for anyone to care about.

It doesn't work because for obvious reasons Ubi won't make games where you shank the gently caress out of the 1%, and that's really the only story the modern stuff is set up to tell.

Ms Adequate
Oct 29, 2011

Horned hellgod from another dimension and also trans


Actually, Black Flag is cool & good.

Pablo Nergigante
Apr 16, 2002



Ska And Screenplays

Mr. Peepers
Mar 11, 2005

Well, I'm a ghost. I scare people. It's all very important, I assure you.



Does anyone still play AC4 MP on PC? Probably the best thing about AC:R was the MP, it was different and cool and it would be neat if there's still at least some activity in Black Flag. I'm probably gonna pick the game up during the steam sale.

Thanks for the thread OP.

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

Only the smallest QB can ascend.


Vitamin P posted:

It doesn't work because for obvious reasons Ubi won't make games where you shank the gently caress out of the 1%, and that's really the only story the modern stuff is set up to tell.

That'd be fun as hell. AC in modern Manhattan, just climbing random buildings and murdering the ceo's in them. And you could call a drone to strike or dump you a tool or something.

I just started black flag and it's cool so far.

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK
Sep 11, 2001



Mister Adequate posted:

Actually, Black Flag is cool & good.

nah

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man nurse
Feb 17, 2014

Oh yeah, that guy is totally straight. I saw a whole thing about him on the VH1.

Game owns, op. Far Cry 4 is fun as well.

That's all I really have to say. Farewell

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