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Jun 22, 2015 17:30
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DCT: I'll take the incense of good posting. Shopkeep: Ware, patron, for although your posts be good, your care will also be strong. DCT: ...meh. ---------------- |
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Jun 22, 2015 17:32
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I guessed the correct number
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Jun 22, 2015 17:33
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Customer holds monkey's paw... "I want to be rich." phone rings "Hello. I'm your new financial advisor, David. You're rich... but you've been bumped up a few times in the tax brackets. You have to pay a higher percentage of taxes than poor people now! But you're still rich!" "NOOOOOO!!!!!!" |
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Jun 22, 2015 17:41
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joke_explainer posted:Customer holds monkey's paw... lol
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Jun 22, 2015 17:44
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joke_explainer posted:Customer holds monkey's paw... haha ---------------- |
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Jun 22, 2015 17:45
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These shoes will vastly improve your game, but do you have the heart it takes to go all the way to the state championships?
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Jun 22, 2015 17:47
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weird twitter but with potions
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Jun 22, 2015 17:51
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drink this elixir and your popularity in the "yobbery" of which you speak will boost. but be wary and drink in privacy, lest your visage twist into a mockery of a dead celebrity *spikes the byob punch bowl* |
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Jun 22, 2015 18:23
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*puts on engagement ring* Now I will find my true love and finally be fulfilled in my life! *5 years later* Gee honey, converting to Mormonism and becoming an accountant was the best decision I ever made! I'm so glad I have a stable income and a loving family, by the grace and light of Our Lord. ---------------- |
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Jun 22, 2015 20:49
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this book will give you the power to weigh in on internet debates related to game of thrones with great knowledge of the GoT universe, but it will also cause you to actually do so
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Jun 22, 2015 20:56
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alnilam posted:this book will give you the power to weigh in on internet debates related to game of thrones with great knowledge of the GoT universe, but it will also cause you to actually do so NOOOOO!!!! *deletes cursed tome from his kindle only to find back on his home page the next time he opens it* |
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Jun 22, 2015 21:29
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a potion that has no effect other than making your head smell bad
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Jun 23, 2015 09:59
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Cum leeches
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Jun 23, 2015 09:59
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Scroll of ineptitude
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Jun 23, 2015 10:00
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burn this candle to ward off evil spirits, but also you'll have to leave the house, take your pets, and your neighbors might want to evacuate |
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Jun 23, 2015 12:49
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a thread where you can say hi  and it never gets gassed, but its a Dear Diary thread so no one can reply 
Somebody fucked around with this message at 01:22 on Jun 24, 2015
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Jun 23, 2015 20:07
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VANISHER
HEATHER PAPPS
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Oh no, you don't pay with money. This magic battery comes free of charge. |
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Jun 23, 2015 21:04
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Your girlfriend will fall in love with you. She will start to buy you clothes. You're going to have to wear them every once in a while. |
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Jul 6, 2015 20:57
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I would like a vial of the purist kindness. e: so I can be even kinder. Thunder Moose fucked around with this message at 21:25 on Jul 6, 2015
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Jul 6, 2015 21:20
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I need: -a bucket of steam -a nothin' with a handle on it -25 feet of flight line -a pint of blinker fluid -some elbow grease -a cable stretcher https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 6, 2015 21:27
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Thunder Moose posted:I would like a vial of the purist kindness. Ah, you shall receive, but it's unfortunately got just a drop of sarcasm in it, so everyone will think your kindness might not be 100% genuine, but never enough to comment on it or be really sure. |
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Jul 7, 2015 01:36
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joke_explainer posted:Ah, you shall receive, but it's unfortunately got just a drop of sarcasm in it, so everyone will think your kindness might not be 100% genuine, but never enough to comment on it or be really sure. That's pretty fantastic. No really, I think that's an absolutely fair shake. Thanks!
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Jul 7, 2015 03:19
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four candles
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Jul 7, 2015 06:47
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I would like eternal life potion to give to 4 organisms of my choice. what could go wrong? |
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Jul 7, 2015 07:09
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*30 years after having my wife drink the love potion* take my wife...please, take her!! ---------------- |
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Jul 7, 2015 08:42
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ChairmanMeow posted:I would like eternal life potion to give to 4 organisms of my choice. nice job spilling that poo poo on henrietta lacks' cancer cells 
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Aug 11, 2015 16:42
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please make me a potion that disables sigs this has gone too far.
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Aug 11, 2015 18:14
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Vynar posted:please make me a potion that disables sigs this has gone too far. Here ya go!  
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Aug 11, 2015 18:20
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there is a perpetual potion machine in the weird apothecary lobby next to the atm. it's cute but also a lie because it's almost always empty
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Aug 11, 2015 18:26
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excuse me, is this where I can buy axe body spray? |
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Aug 11, 2015 18:26
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City of Glompton posted:excuse me, is this where I can buy axe body spray? it comes with a bag of weed inside and (5) five COD friends |
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Aug 11, 2015 20:22
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POWERBALL posted:Here ya go! I tried your potion and it took me to a place with weird colours
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Aug 11, 2015 20:39
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they give great advice on potions and I always get a fair price. they ask me how i'm doing, how they can help, what's my name instead of already knowing, shake my hand without it instantly aging 400 years and crumbling to dust, ask me to come back. it's so weird, i'm used to them just handing me a glowing stuff in a bottle and cackling whenever i buy something. i can find the shop again anytime i wish, it's not going to mysteriously be an abandoned pizza hut when i try to come back. it's hosed up, i don't know how to deal
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Aug 11, 2015 21:49
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Potion Dad: Yeah...I used to be the head of a major potion corporation, then my wife got pregnant, now I'm a family man. Youngster: Jeez, cut with the small talk pops, can I get an elixir or what? Potion Dad: Elixir? I barely know her!!! ---------------- |
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Aug 18, 2015 13:30
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Ace of Baes posted:*30 years after having my wife drink the love potion* *loads wife into perfectly wife-shaped carrying case* heres your receipt. code:---------------- |
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Aug 18, 2015 13:42
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you would do anything for love, but you won't do that |
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Aug 18, 2015 13:57
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customer: excuse me do you know what happened to love potion numbers one through eight clerk: i hate my job
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Aug 18, 2015 19:06
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what if you gave ur crush a love potion an all it did was make em love potions snapple is a love potion if you think about it ---------------- |
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Aug 18, 2015 19:18
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 12:42 |
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Love potions and Haterade |
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Aug 18, 2015 20:02
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