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Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

I lied, I ran out of time and couldn't get the scanning done on the alternate path, will post tomorrow time permitting.

Update

We're going for the Pixies. Personally I think you made a mistake, the goblins are a bunch of cool, chilled out bros whereas pixies...well, gently caress pixies.

First should mention this because it's the reason why this game has loot cards in the first place:

Arkanomen posted:

293 and snake that sick armor and shield. She can't see very well so she wont notice you taking it with you.

Unlike most of these books you can take whatever you see in any scene so long as there are loots cards for those items. There actually are loot cards for the armour and shield, and here they are:



The shield gives us a saving throw of 4+ on 1D6 against any negative effects from losing a combat round. Some monsters inflict injuries or break equipment or whatever so this can be handy. But since the elf is a weed, he gets exhausted swinging a heavy shield around. While we have this item, every time we do something that uses Effort it will cost us one extra Effort.

The plate armour doesn't help because the elf isn't trained to fight or even move in armour, this armour was made for a 200-pound knight rather than a scrawny sack of bones and so it won't fit, someone needs to help you into and out of it, a human died in it and just kind of fermented in there so it stinks, and so on. But it goes in our inventory because why not.

Anyway, things. 169:



Putting the food question to one side for a sec, on to 200:



Decisions needed :

1) Do you want to eat the Tasty Burg or save it for later and use the Rations?
2) Do you want to use the shield?
3) Next moves.


I'll update the adventure sheet once I know what we're doing about rations and the shield.

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Jun 27, 2015

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Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug
Burg out, get our drink on and wear that shield like a turtle shell because our noodly arms can't heft that bullshit

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


Eat the rations, start sobbing and asking the pixies to let you in. If you don't hear from then in 30 minutes start threatening to just burn the whole forest down.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Eat the rations, start sobbing and threaten suicide if the pixies don't let you in. Really slather on the guilt.

Two Free Toppings
Jul 1, 2007

SUCK
THE
SHIT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE
Just burg it man. Don't bogart the healing potions like were playing a video game or whatever. Easy come easy go. Don't want to eat those fuckin pinecones.

Heft the shield, swagger like you got a big ol human dick, and tell frank black and the pixies that you're the bossanova now.

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS
Burg it

Come in with swagger, we don't have time to waste. gently caress that trap rear end drink. Piss on a stump to show dominance and get the ball rolling

A_Bug_That_Thinks fucked around with this message at 03:12 on Jun 27, 2015

FRINGE
May 23, 2003
title stolen for lf posting
Eat the rations, and then:

Peebla posted:

Heft the shield, swagger like you got a big ol human dick, and tell frank black and the pixies that you're the bossanova now.

Poland Spring
Sep 11, 2005
Guys it's the sapphire rosé of Francis the Black, the king of the pixies! We totally need to swig that poo poo, even if he's going to get gigantically pissed off. Hell, maybe he's offering it to us and will be pissed if we DON'T drink it, you never know with pixies.

Scurrilous
Sep 2, 2006
evolutionary throwback
I say take the potion, but don't drink it. Eat the burger, since you're going to need it before those bastard pixies are through with you.

As far as I remember* a lot of those potion effects ended up being pretty useful and/or got you killed in amusing ways. Unless labeled or written into the encounter you'd roll for random effects on new potions, poisons and so forth. Gambling on a potion and having the last of your effort leak away from magical dysentery is always a fun way to go.

*My copy of this dissolved into a heap ages ago when my basement flooded.

BadgerSeat
Feb 28, 2006

Would you like to see where I keep my severed heads?
Eat the rations, take potion but don't drink it yet, take out the bastard sword and stab it into the center of the stump as it were a key being put into a keyhole (or penis into a wombat)

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011


eat burg, take potion, do not drink potion, leave and go check out the goblins

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug
use the shield as a plate, eat the burg, and wash it down with the potion

find some pixies to tell them about your theories on why dragon blood can't melt mithril beams

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

Poland Spring posted:

Guys it's the sapphire rosé of Francis the Black, the king of the pixies! We totally need to swig that poo poo, even if he's going to get gigantically pissed off. Hell, maybe he's offering it to us and will be pissed if we DON'T drink it, you never know with pixies.

for the last time this book was made in the early eighties, an era before the Pixies roamed the Earth

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

Dreggon posted:

lmao holy poo poo

sticky please

Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.

Poland Spring posted:

Hell, maybe he's offering it to us and will be pissed if we DON'T drink it, you never know with pixies.

Drink the potion, eat the burg, put the shield on your back like a turtle. Have sword at the ready.

Coohoolin
Aug 5, 2012

Oor Coohoolie.
Stand on the shield like a surfboard and scoot around the swamp.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

eat the rations not the burger, and only pretend to drink the potion while moaning loudly about how delicious it is

ArtIsResistance
May 19, 2007

QUEEN OF FRANCE, SAVIOR OF LOWTAX
jerk off over all the goons posting their epic random suggestions

Poland Spring
Sep 11, 2005
Eat your sword, don't drink the burg, smash bottom of potion bottle and use it as new weapon

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

Well I got a straight answer on food (we're burgin'), and the shield (the game doesn't distinguish between you wearing the shield on your arm, back or rear end, if it's not in an unruly heap with the rest of your garbage it's equipped.)

I used the Burg to heal the minor injury since we have high Effort already. Updated sheet:




Scurrilous posted:

I say take the potion, but don't drink it. Eat the burger, since you're going to need it before those bastard pixies are through with you.

As far as I remember* a lot of those potion effects ended up being pretty useful and/or got you killed in amusing ways. Unless labeled or written into the encounter you'd roll for random effects on new potions, poisons and so forth. Gambling on a potion and having the last of your effort leak away from magical dysentery is always a fun way to go.

*My copy of this dissolved into a heap ages ago when my basement flooded.

That's a shame, I can't find an undamaged copy anywhere. Almost every one of these things has vanished or been destroyed in suspicious circumstances. You're right though, potions in this game are unpredictable and fun. Even potions in written encounters can give you brain damage or a wicked case of gas:



Anyway back to the issue at hand. I counted two pansies begging the pixies for admission, three tough guys who want to smash their way in, three people who want to drink the potion, one person who wants to not drink the potion but pretend they did, one person who wants to go back the way we came and try our luck with the goblins and four people who want to pocket the potion no matter what. It's too close to call. I've found the page part now, so just select from the options on the page, ta:



Pretty sure the first and last options include snagging the potion but not drinking it.


TL;DR - Do we :
Beg for Mercy,
Do What We're Told, or
Stand and Fight?

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at 19:55 on Jun 27, 2015

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug
DRINK IT YOU DANDY ELF!

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug
Beg for Mercy.

Coohoolin
Aug 5, 2012

Oor Coohoolie.
be a man and drink the chartreuse

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.


Drink the potion and pray to whatever god you believe resides over luck for a 4 or 5. Grandma was always an rear end in a top hat and we need to put her down.

RaceBannon
Apr 3, 2010
Quaff.

Grand Prize Winner
Feb 19, 2007


Buttchug.

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

hi how are you

"Good" move. I'll check back tomorrow some time to see if we're going to definitely cave in to the pixies.

In the meantime I snagged this off some rube on Ebay for just over a hundo:



It's a Bestiary for this series of books, with only a couple dozen pages missing! I'm not sure why they bothered making this because every critter has like two stats and they tell you everything you need to know about them every time you encounter them, but whatever. Here's the entry for pixies, since we're soon going to be encountering them one way or another:

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Eat a pixie.

Harald
Jul 10, 2009

LINKIN PARK


>find the #1 GILF

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot

Applewhite posted:

Eat a pixie.

> eat pixie

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007


get ye flask and eat ye pixie

Three-Phase
Aug 5, 2006

by zen death robot
Spoke pixie (erryday)

RaceBannon
Apr 3, 2010
Enslave a pixie.

Two Free Toppings
Jul 1, 2007

SUCK
THE
SHIT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE
Why is the rotting tree stump smiling at me like that? I'm not drinking his loving potion. Jam the bastard sword in his ugly rotten debased tree face, slice up his eyeballs ah ha ha ho, steal his poo poo, but don't bother drinking the potion just yet. Grandma hallucinations have a time and place and this is neither.

Two Free Toppings fucked around with this message at 05:40 on Jun 28, 2015

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS
183

Why eat one pixie when we can eat many?

Eumenides
Sep 24, 2007

This is the face of Lawful Good!

Fun Shoe
Take a pixie trip and eat any you find

BadgerSeat
Feb 28, 2006

Would you like to see where I keep my severed heads?
160, totally

almost1337
Jun 14, 2013

The male likpatons turn around the nucleus formed of female boobons and neutral bolsterons

Gilganixon posted:

haha you've clearly read this book before. I've nearly finished scanning in the Pixie pages, I'll scan in the alternate path you've excavated while I'm at it.

Needs more of this hilarity.

BadgerSeat
Feb 28, 2006

Would you like to see where I keep my severed heads?
This may not be an option in the book but perhaps the way to defeat the pixies is to lure the pixies out of hiding, scoop them up a put them in rear end, drink potion that will very likely shrink the elf to pixie size, remove pixies from rear end who are now ant size, find another regular sized pixie and shove the tiny pixies in his rear end and make him drink some shrinking potion. Keep doing this until all pixies are one. Hopefully the potion will wear off at some point and the pixies will explode as they return to their original size

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J.D.Salinate
May 18, 2014
Slap bastard sword down on potion, exploding it wastefully. Whing verbal abuse at the trees until the jerk pixies come out swinging their comically tiny arms, or they get bored and go away.

Also piss on the tree stump to show dominance. Forget who said that, but it's important. Maybe do this before pulling out our sword. Or not. Whatever. Got two fists anyway.

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