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  • Locked thread
Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Punch the Bat with 2 fists and 20 effort

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pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Arkanomen posted:

Punch the Bat with 2 fists and 20 effort

That's a lot of effort we only need 8 if I understand the rules to be sure we kill him. Average of 6? So like lets use 7 we win if we don't roll snake eyes!

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 97 days!


Pillbug

> fight bat

> go to page 420

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



draw enormous breasts on the bat once you've knocked it unconscious, to weaken its resolve

Two Free Toppings
Jul 1, 2007

SUCK
THE
SHIT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE


Bash the bat with the bare minimum of effort!

And I don't know how happy dad will be to see us so we had better do the gentle-elf thing and pick him a bouquet of flowers before we get there. Dads love flowers.

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

I AM UNABLE TO DISCUSS POLITICS WITHOUT BECOMING A SCREECHING RACIST RETARD

Have our polish friend crouch on his hands and knees behind the man-bat, then push the monster down and call him a nerd and proceed to kick him brio he cries like a baby.

This is an A+ plan it cannot fail.

ANIME IS BLOOD
Sep 4, 2008

by zen death robot


> kill jester

BadgerSeat
Feb 28, 2006

Would you like to see where I keep my severed heads?

pixaal posted:

That's a lot of effort we only need 8 if I understand the rules to be sure we kill him. Average of 6? So like lets use 7 we win if we don't roll snake eyes!

Defeat bat and force him to use echo location to figure out how to get to bilgeton

BadgerSeat fucked around with this message at Jun 25, 2015 around 02:58

FRINGE
May 23, 2003


pixaal posted:

That's a lot of effort we only need 8 if I understand the rules to be sure we kill him. Average of 6? So like lets use 7 we win if we don't roll snake eyes!
We roll 18 dice for FISTS, so we are pretty much guaranteed a 6. We can save some effort.

Do we keep one or two dice? Is it 1d6 or 2d6?

Yolomon Wayne
Jun 10, 2014

You call it "The Big Bang", but what really happened is


Bend over and pretend to be a lady bat.
Got pointy ears and stuff, should work.

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

why do priests love skulls?
because they're holey


Plaster Town Cop

Looks like the general idea is to fight the bat (bending over and pretending to be a lady bat will earn us a kicking, the bat doesn't swing that way). After that the front-running option is humiliate the bat and/or make him help. Alternatives so far:

Use the Pole on the tree to get a look around
Pick flowers for Dad
Go in that bat cave and cuck the bat


I'll check how things stand in a few hours then post the update.

FRINGE posted:

We roll 18 dice for FISTS, so we are pretty much guaranteed a 6. We can save some effort.

Do we keep one or two dice? Is it 1d6 or 2d6?

Roll 2 dice, keep 1. Effort is used up each round as well (this fight will take at least 2 rounds) so it's best to use as little effort as possible, just like in real life.

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at Jun 25, 2015 around 14:26

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003

It's like a custom title but not


im the angry guard

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Poland Spring
Sep 11, 2005


"kill" the bat with sick elvish wordplay and shame him into giving you his belt, then cuck him

edit: oh it's FISTS, so, like, you can have hand puppets or something

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
e: And the ten foot pole can supply the backbeat

Poland Spring fucked around with this message at Jun 25, 2015 around 17:26

Garth_Marenghi
Nov 7, 2011



Poland Spring posted:

"kill" the bat with sick elvish wordplay and shame him into giving you his belt, then cuck him
RAP BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



with an extra "e" to attract the real CYOA fans

Poland Spring
Sep 11, 2005


DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

with an extra "e" to attract the real CYOA fans

cucke thee bate

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

with an extra "e" to attract the real CYOA fans

you mean rapé? We could use some tobacco I guess.

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

why do priests love skulls?
because they're holey


Plaster Town Cop

ANIME IS BLOOD posted:

> kill jester

But if you kill Jingle you won't be able to

Poland Spring posted:

"kill" the bat with sick elvish wordplay and shame him into giving you his belt, then cuck him

edit: oh it's FISTS, so, like, you can have hand puppets or something

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV
e: And the ten foot pole can supply the backbeat

djwetmouse posted:

RAP BATTLE!!!!!!!!!!

You can imagine every battle is a rap battle if that helps. That's the magic of books, especially books that replace all the action with dice-rolling mechanics.

Update

Fixed the last page up:



I also dug around some more and found the cards that came with this game. Every item has its own card with a little picture and explanation of their effect or abilities, if any. Here's what we have:



You might notice I wasn't right about the Pole. If you have Karol you can try to use his help by adding 30 to the page number and turning to that page. If it makes sense then read on. Some people wanted to get Karol to help out in the fight so I used his ability to see what happens. Turning to 210:



Nothing useful. We have to fight this thing on our own.

Combat:

We have Elan 7, +1 from the sword, giving us a total of 8. We can commit up to 8 Effort to each round. We have two Fists so roll 2D6 and add the higher of the two numbers to the amount of Effort committed.

The Bat has an Effort rating of 9 and a toughness of 2. Shouldn't be very hard but it'd be best not to risk losing a round. I go for 6 Effort per round, meaning we need 4+ on either dice to win. In future I'll get the thread to work out the battle strategy.

First roll is a 4 and a 2, giving us 10 and bringing the Bat's toughness down to 1.
Second roll is a 6 and a 1, giving us 12 and winning the fight. I add the Bat to the trophy list on the sheet.


We lost a total of 12 Effort doing that - even winning a battle can be bad news, which is why sometimes it's best to throw them if you have the option. We have 78 Effort left. But hey, Sweet Belt.



This adds an extra Fist, at least temporarily. We now have 3 Fists.

Back to the matter at hand - the thread seems to be generally in favour of taking their frustrations out on the Bat and maybe shaking him down for info, so let's do that. Turn to 33:



This page is complete, even if suspiciously stained and mysteriously stuck to the page before it. +5 Effort is handy, even if we gain it through questionable means.

We now have a choice as to how our adventure will continue : the Pixie Glade, the Big Rock Goblin Mountain or here, with the woman (wombat?) of our dreams.

Finally, here's the updated adventure sheet:

Saint Isaias Boner fucked around with this message at Jun 25, 2015 around 23:05

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

why do priests love skulls?
because they're holey


Plaster Town Cop

Claven666 posted:

Fight the bat someone must pay for Jeff's crimes against half-elfmanity

indicate via pantomime that Karol should climb a tree and figure out where you are in relation to your house

Karol isn't much of a climber. He's a dungeoneering Pole so probably more useful underground than outdoors.

damn horror queefs
Oct 14, 2005

say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

thank you for this glorious effortposting op.
i vote PIXIES.
and that we tell the pixies that surfer rosa is overrated and if htey don't like it they should eat our fat dick

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


293 and snake that sick armor and shield. She can't see very well so she wont notice you taking it with you.

where the red fern gropes
Aug 24, 2011




lmao holy poo poo

sticky please

pixaal
Jan 8, 2004

All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Pay the lady 10 leaves and go to pixies.

Eumenides
Sep 24, 2007

This is the face of Lawful Good!

We are garbage, so we should be treated like garbage: by loving an anthropomorphic bat woman out of insecurity. After bullying/deafening her beta boyfriend, God what a pussy to lose against us.

Page 48

Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?

~Pixies~

naem
May 29, 2011



Op is this an actual book or are you a drat genius

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

why do priests love skulls?
because they're holey


Plaster Town Cop

pixaal posted:

Pay the lady 10 leaves and go to pixies.

The elf never tipped in his life and he's not going to start now.

naem posted:

Op is this an actual book or are you a drat genius

I would never waste GBS's valuable time and server space with a fake book.

Pixies are currently narrowly in the lead. Will check again in a few hours to see what y'all picked.

Yolomon Wayne
Jun 10, 2014

You call it "The Big Bang", but what really happened is


That Bat-Lady looks loving horrified.
We should leave.
And get some magic pixie dust.

Poland Spring
Sep 11, 2005


Pixies, I hear they make a lovely blue wine, a sapphire rosé

A_Bug_That_Thinks
Mar 16, 2011


ASK ME ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE BIG SAGGY POKEMON TITS

Gohbleens

Two Free Toppings
Jul 1, 2007

SUCK
THE
SHIT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE



Yep, let's humiliate some little goblin dudes and seduce their weird goblin ladies.

Farewell Lovely bat lady. Sorry your fella is such a fruit bat.

Also the belt we took is amazing. Now it looks like calvin is pissing on our dick.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS
OF THE FUTURE
THERE ARE ONLY DOGS


Nap Ghost

Dreggon posted:

lmao holy poo poo

sticky please

We may have reached peak CYOA here.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS
OF THE FUTURE
THERE ARE ONLY DOGS


Nap Ghost

Goblins, P. 293

Two Free Toppings
Jul 1, 2007

SUCK
THE
SHIT
OUT
OF
MY
OWN
ASSHOLE


Yeah, this is a sweet cyoa. I know goons can get really down on them but I think they can be a lot of fun if done well.

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

Gilganixon posted:

Karol isn't much of a climber. He's a dungeoneering Pole so probably more useful underground than outdoors.

in that case, i suggest that you go to the glade of the Pixies and search for the lost Cave of Oberon, then send Karol down in it to get treasure

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

IN THE GRIM BARKNESS
OF THE FUTURE
THERE ARE ONLY DOGS


Nap Ghost

>have the bat join our party

FRINGE
May 23, 2003


Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.

Fun Shoe


Definitely this.

almost1337
Jun 14, 2013

The male likpatons turn around the nucleus formed of female boobons and neutral bolsterons


>skip to 63

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Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007

why do priests love skulls?
because they're holey


Plaster Town Cop

almost1337 posted:

>skip to 63

haha you've clearly read this book before. I've nearly finished scanning in the Pixie pages, I'll scan in the alternate path you've excavated while I'm at it.

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