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Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

you should bring:

that magic rock that hypnotizes people that your mom keeps next to her vibrator

your dad's old boots he left behind after conceiving you

the glowing shield under the rotting dragonskin in the attic

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Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

Fight the bat someone must pay for Jeff's crimes against half-elfmanity

indicate via pantomime that Karol should climb a tree and figure out where you are in relation to your house

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

Gilganixon posted:

Karol isn't much of a climber. He's a dungeoneering Pole so probably more useful underground than outdoors.

in that case, i suggest that you go to the glade of the Pixies and search for the lost Cave of Oberon, then send Karol down in it to get treasure

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

sleep under a pile of dead pixes

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

hope we get to see the big Karol redemption arc in this playthrough. pretty sure you have to get lucky with your dice once you get to the big city, though.

I was going to suggest sending Karol down the bat cave before remembering about the Cave of Oberon back behind the Pixie Village, where I thought he'd be of better use. Then I checked google and realized that I was remembering it wrong -- it's actually in Sword of the Bastard Elf III: The Gimp of Riding Crop Manor.

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

loquacius posted:

What is unsexy enough to dissuade a phalloknight by its mere description? Better to strike for the weak spot. If nothing else, we can force the knight to dismount; that should knock its stats down a little!

there are alternate ways to deal with a Phalloknight besides head on combat. I'm surprised he even considers us a worthy foe considering we are not mounted on a magnificent cock-steed ourselves. my suggestion is to appeal to the Phallonight's sense of chivalry and ask him to dine with us before he slays us. slip some pixie shavings into his food afterwards, i say we tame his cock steed and take it for ourselves

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

Mojo Threepwood posted:

Voting this. This CYOA is amazing, my favorite parts are the out of context page entries, especially the one referencing Rambo.

i wonder what would happen if we saved his life?

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

am i right in thinking the Phalloknight is some sort of dick centaur type dude, i.e. we can't look his cock steed because it's his own dick?

if we can take the steed we could get to bilgeton a lot faster. if not, i say we make a thorough search of the Phalloknight and take the most demonic artifact

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

Epic High Five posted:

Yeah I'm pretty sure he was originally meant to be a companion when the whole thing was written, but the publishers thought the pun was too high brow and would confuse people and that nobody wanted to worry about another character in addition to their own, so poor Karol got relegated to an optional helper role

It's no coincidence that if you chase off Karol (tough to do, considering the wombat thing only disgusts him) pretty much all of your stories end with you falling into a pit and being skewered on spikes or breaking a leg and crying for days until you die. It's also why, unlike almost every other companion in every other RPG ever, you can't just give him a sword and shield and tell him to do your fighting for you. It's never explicitly stated but I'm PRETTY sure he thinks you're an idiot and it's his job to keep you from getting killed.

He definitely thinks we're idiots considering how well he knew our father and ha ha ha I just ruined the big reveal in Sword of the Bastard Elf IV: The Third Sequel: The Prequel

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

HBar posted:

Lacks polish, eh? Karol, take us to page 68!

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

Honestly, we don't know what type of enchantment has been applied to the Polack, and knowing this game series and its proclivity for word play I'd say this is a bad choice. Consider this: our good, useful friend Karol is referred to as a "Pole" while the bad (perhaps Elvish Designed) enchanted Polack is referenced by a racial slur. So basically we're gonna have a big dumb magical bumpkin constantly loving our poo poo up.

Beware elvish tricks is all I'm saying. It'd be just like them to pre-emptively gently caress up our campaign against them with a lovely prank

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

Modus Pwnens posted:

Just watch, the Boots of Elvish Stomping will make us stomp things in an Elvish manner!

i'll take "shittily" for 400, alex

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

the_steve posted:

Use the condiment packets

Elves are a bunch of worthless stoners anyways, the pixie bits would probably do nothing they haven't already done to themselves.

true, elves are degenerate scum and spend most days in a stupor, but the one thing they usually can't get a hold of are pixie bits. they're like elf opium, including the weird hallucination style daydreams. we can then slaughter them or pass them by while they're gettin down

edit: gently caress. i dunno, use the pixie bits on the other elves

Radical and BADical! fucked around with this message at Jul 17, 2015 around 19:33

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

Outrail posted:

This and combine the Dapper Clothes and Codpiece

let's jareth the poo poo out of the elf vanguard

Radical and BADical! fucked around with this message at Jul 18, 2015 around 20:13

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

pixie god drat bits

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vs7TxUI8A64

1. Obviously we trim the pixie hide cloak with elf skin, creating a wearable tapestry of genocide.

2. We take the WAR CARAVAN right to the front gate, music blaring and blood bag leading the way, and deliver the goods as promised like what we're doing is PERFECTLY NORMAL.


i love this, but i think our elf skin trimming should include an elf skull cowl

Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe

definitely steal Ted's identity. convince Hugues that you've been Ted all along, he'll believe it when you show him your signet ring and title deed



RC Cola posted:

We should also check the Polish embassy at the city for a translator.

Also this.

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Radical and BADical!
Jun 27, 2010

by Lowtax


Fun Shoe


dude you could literally flesh this out all the way and sell it, either via a traditional cyoa game system or some sort of steam game. nerds everywhere would line up to throw you money

edit: i mean Gilganixon, although that is a pretty nice gif, djwetmouse

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