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comment on how bitterly cold it is to the Phalloknight. Encourage shrinkage.
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Jul 3, 2015 03:49
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Yknow, we aren't that far from home, are we? Get the Phalloknight high as a loving kite, then when he's good and paranoid, tell him about Jeff.
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Jul 3, 2015 05:39
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"Look dude, I need you to rape my mom's boyfriend. And then kill him. Actually, I'm not worried about the order here, just as long as you check both items off the list."
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Jul 3, 2015 09:51
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Main Quest - wear the helmet. - save the testicle for later
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Jul 5, 2015 08:05
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Sure +1 to stealth feeding them pixie giblets
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Jul 6, 2015 05:36
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Main Quest - Fight the guard (kick him in the dick, because our helmet should give us True Cock Sight) - poison the food. - Steal whatever looks the most like a priceless family heirloom, and some nice clothes.
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Jul 8, 2015 17:28
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Keep the armor for now. See if the elves will pay in advance. If they will, take whatever they're stupid enough to give us, then pretend like we're going to the Wizard Tower, but actually ditching the quest once we're out of sight of the elves.
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Jul 9, 2015 04:32
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Gilganixon posted:1) Terminate the elves with [maximum] prejudice
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Jul 10, 2015 06:56
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Help Mr. Skeltal get spoopy on some elves. Dootdoot.
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Jul 11, 2015 09:13
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MainQuest - Loot the elves, ask Thighbone for help since he DID try to axe us. - Then go see the Wizard. Be chill, he seems like a good guy. Plus, my phone automatically capitalized Wizard when I typed it in, so that's a good sign.
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Jul 12, 2015 06:41
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1. Nah, I don't see us getting anywhere with that line of inquiry. 2. loving Yes we want in on caravan duty. Why? Because Aggie seems like the sort of person who will back the folks on her side, and more importantly, it's a chance to beat the everfucking hell out of some elves. I think Elf Hunter should be our calling in life. We travel the countryside knocking the granola out of these fucks, and get paid to do it.
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Jul 13, 2015 07:46
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She might be a cool boss, but she is not waifu material for our half Elf hero. Also, I think she would snap us like kindling whether we were successful or not in our attempts, the only difference would be in what context she does it.
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Jul 14, 2015 11:07
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1. No, stick with Defense 2. The Thermos of Endless (Scalding) Hot Soup? 3. Hell yes, equip skeleton friend.
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Jul 15, 2015 06:07
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1. Warn the skeletons and prepare to fight. 2. Put our new boots to use. By stomping on elves.
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Jul 16, 2015 03:09
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Use the condiment packets Elves are a bunch of worthless stoners anyways, the pixie bits would probably do nothing they haven't already done to themselves.
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Jul 17, 2015 09:09
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Head to the caravan I think we'll be glad that we saved the pixie bits for later.
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Jul 17, 2015 20:33
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Monkey Fracas posted:Attempt to sneak into the fray and backstab a few This reminds me: did this book have the item combination mechanic? Or was that in later books? I could have sworn I read something about combining a knife with boots if you had the item cards.
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Jul 17, 2015 20:41
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Hm, I'm not seeing anything. I know there was something cool with the soup, the oyster and the codpiece, but it was literally only useful for one obscure option. I thought we had a dagger for some reason, that's why I was thinking about knifeboots.
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Jul 17, 2015 20:54
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Outrail posted:combine the Dapper Clothes and Codpiece +1 to this.
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Jul 18, 2015 05:03
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1. Kick his rear end 2. Kick their rear end 3. Yes. Yes. Equip it now.
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Jul 19, 2015 20:25
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I am Against combining the Armor and Outfit. I'm pretty sure it leads to losing both cards and getting nothing.
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Jul 19, 2015 20:45
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There's not room in this book for two Elf bastards. Take this gently caress down. use our violence.
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Jul 20, 2015 01:12
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Maybe we should combine the testicle with ourself, and see if we don't get a new form.
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Jul 20, 2015 06:04
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combine the swords Approach casual. We are legit and delivering goods. Let's not fuckup a good thing.
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Jul 22, 2015 06:14
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+1 to informing these slackfucks that we're here to get paid.
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Jul 23, 2015 05:44
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- Find string, Combine teeth and string into a necklace. - Find Ted's house. Look for an Insignia Ring of some sort. - Bequeath the house and everything therein to ourself. I can't remember how much of that is doable, but, I'm voting for as much of that as I can. Edit: gently caress, looks like we already have a signet ring. Assuming it's Ted's, skip the second item and get straight to having "Ted" give "Us" the house and posessions.
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Jul 24, 2015 09:58
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Gilganixon posted:That ring belongs to Count Hugues "The Mark" of Bilgeton but since he's Tedbald's liege it's probably just as good. All I'm seeing is a perfect opportunity to impersonate a dead man and will all of his hard earned belongings to ourself before any of his family/loved ones/legal beneficiaries realize he's dead and try to collect their inheritance.
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Jul 24, 2015 10:22
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The problem with stealing Ted's life is that people might expect us to do...Ted things. Whereas, if "Ted" just so happens to leave everything to "Whatever our real name is", then we're free to continue being a lazy piece of poo poo with no marketable skills outside of Elvish Persecution while living high off of Ted's wealth. Plus no needing to cover our tracks when people who know him show up and want to talk or prove we're a fake. All the good stuff, no chance of responsibility.
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Jul 24, 2015 21:06
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Voting to find Karol and then hit on some hens.
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Jul 25, 2015 06:05
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Impersonate Ted and sign over all of his property to ourself.
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Jul 26, 2015 04:39
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Bravely run away - Page 205
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Jul 27, 2015 05:27
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Fire the guard. We're Ted now, and we're sick of this oaf lazing about on our coin. He wants to roll dice, send him back to his mama's basement.
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Jul 28, 2015 02:45
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Actually, go with Plan Modus Pwnens
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Jul 29, 2015 04:06
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CaptainSarcastic posted:"Foul elf, I have no idea what you are talking about - I am Sir Tedbald of Bilgeton! Begone from my sight!" Oh poo poo. That WOULD be like Jeff, getting us to indirectly admit that we're a fraud so he can steal our stuff. Changing my vote to: Throw his rear end in the dungeons for besmirching our good name. Formerly: The UltraHappyBastard Ending Edit: I'll spoil this since it's speculation and probably wrong: If I recall correctly, and there's a very good chance I'm not (I read this off the Two Fist wiki, which has virtually no content, and looks like it was run through Babelfish more than a few times) Mom actually kicks Jeff out not long after we get kicked out. See, she knew all along that he was a massive prick, but she was hoping that he would be enough of a father figure to us that we'd straighten up and be a respectable member of elf society with enough tough love. But, without us in the house for them to focus their mutual disappointment on, mom realized just how incompatible they really were and how much of a dick he is to everybody, not just us. Now, like I said, the wiki for this is beyond unreliable, so it's possible none of this is remotely true, or it references a different book (It actually does list different character names, though I think that's just a language thing), so take it with as much salt as you can safely consume in any given moment of skepticism, but, there you go. the_steve fucked around with this message at 04:44 on Jul 29, 2015 |
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Jul 29, 2015 04:30
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To all of you voting for Ironic Justice, remember that Jeff is an elf. His idea of being productive would be duping us out of our own ill-gotten gains. We're only a halfbreed, which gives us some advantages, but ultimately, we shouldn't be trying to out-elf an elf. The longer he isn't dead or locked up and forgotten about, the more likely we are to lose everything.
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Jul 30, 2015 00:31
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 01:58 |
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Hell yes, this was a fun game. Makes me wish I had gotten into them when I was younger. I may have been too young though. I did like the other, more traditional CYOA books growing up, but I think I'd have had a blast with these more in-depth ones.
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Jul 30, 2015 04:28
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