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joke_explainer


Cumt posted:

failed company director frantically looking for real gun in pile of cheese guns to commit suicide, keeps squirting cheese in his mouth

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bacalou


for the oedipus in all of us, i present "i can't believe it's not mother"

joke_explainer


"why did I keep my real gun with all these cheese guns!!"

joke_explainer


Cotton Candy: Sour & Salty Edition

POWERBALL

by zen death robot
lol at this whole thread

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

bacalou


fellow board members, the results are in. our new flagship product: guy fieri cosplay kit

joke_explainer


All the flavor of an mind-blowingly intensely hopped IPA with none of the brain destroying alcohol!

bacalou


i think we can all agree that chewing tobacco is last year's hot item. the new flavor that our customers will craver is... sucking tobacco!

bacalou


they gave themselves to god, taste great frozen or thawed! 2015 is the year of nun on a bun

bacalou


with gummy vitamins taking the health world by storm, our newest product comes as a no brainer: gummy insulin!

the unabonger

bacalou posted:

stay with me here, no-sided tape

the unabonger

POWERBALL posted:

lol at this whole thread

City of Glompton

I'm proud to unveil our new clothing brands:

Od-o-Roos "The Scratch 'n' Sniff Underwear!"

Tear-a-Tee disposable shirts on a roll (now in 2 ply)

and Missteps, comfy pre-mismatched socks in convenient odd-numbered packs


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

thewireguy

bacalou posted:

how have we gone over two thousand years without cool ranch flavored cigarettes? fear not, consumer, doritos locos tobacco is on the case

I would totally buy that product.

google THIS

we have text-to-speech, speech-to-text, and now, finally...*whispers into phone, waits proudly as phone emits a long series of beeps*...speech-to-morse. telegraphing has never been this easy, or this much fun!

Qwerinty

by zen death robot
Does Schrodinger's Cat seem cruel to you? Are YOU tired of not knowing if your cat is alive or dead? Introducing new Schrodinger Clear, your favorite thought experiment made real, with patented C-Thru technology! No longer will you wring your hands in agony, too paralyzed with anxiety to collapse the waveform. Simply place your cat in the C-Thru box, place the Green Safety Pellet in the allotted slot, and close the ventilated lid! You'll never have to guess again, with Schrodinger Clear (by Ideal)

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Qwerinty

by zen death robot
also pretend i empty quoted this entire thread

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

joke_explainer


Add a little mystery into your life, with UnwantedDickPics.com

Miss Psychosis

Good thread.

bacalou


money popsicles: made with one percent juice

bacalou


you've heard of pumpkin spice, america. now get ready for the taste that puts mace in your face with blumpkin spice

Scaly Haylie

Tonetta

look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*
alright so i think what you need to do is take down the confederate flag and we might have a shot at winning this election

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

problematic hug

Cumt posted:

failed company director frantically looking for real gun in pile of cheese guns to commit suicide, keeps squirting cheese in his mouth

problematic hug

POWERBALL posted:

lol at this whole thread

FluffieDuckie

bacalou posted:

stay with me here, no-sided tape


Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

alnilam

Are you tired of your boring, odorless ginkgo biloba supplements lacking that fresh ginkgo fruit aroma? So were we!

Qwerinty posted:

also pretend i empty quoted this entire thread

teleolurian

draw a circle on a piece of paper and tell everyone "it's for kids!"

then at the end of the movie it's really goatse

FluffieDuckie

teleolurian posted:

draw a circle on a piece of paper and tell everyone "it's for kids!"

then at the end of the movie it's really goatse

hi teleolurian :wave:

welcome to the yob!


Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

google THIS

it's a cell phone mount for your steering wheel!

alnilam

google THIS posted:

it's a cell phone mount for your steering wheel!

This pretty much already exists :negative:

dogcrash truther
beeptones are beeps you can download to your steering wheel

bacalou


it's the 'instant racist caricature' kit!

teleolurian

Lottery sleeping pills where one pill is a special surprise and not a sleeping pill at all


FluffieDuckie posted:

welcome to the yob!

Hello :haw:

bacalou


okay i think i'm done with these jokes

bacalou


it's unlike any other parasite you've ever seen! digestive tract chiq is IN

fema crisis actor

bweee-ooo-eee-ooo-eee-ooo
never wake up late again with fabulous new itchy bed


ty bacalou!

fema crisis actor

bweee-ooo-eee-ooo-eee-ooo
self driving cars where a robot makes your hands and feet move


ty bacalou!

fema crisis actor

bweee-ooo-eee-ooo-eee-ooo
new! isis lite


ty bacalou!

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Miss Psychosis

Live babies.

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