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mycot posted:Huh, the timing of this thread matches up with the Steam thread in Games discovering the Doom novelizations (yes, they exist). I remember reading these in fifth grade, and I thought the first one was really cool because blood and cursing. The "I was born at an early age" is actually a Groucho Marx quote. That blurb reads like a synopsis from a later book, because that gives up, like, all the plot of the first novel. The second novel got weird to the point where fifth grade me put it down and went outside. The authors had a huge hard on for survivalist Mormans and women covered with blood.
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Jul 2, 2015 16:22
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HopperUK posted:I read Unwind and the scene where they actually do it to one teenager was very effective and still bothers me and I kind of hate the author for doing that. Because as explained above by other people, the whole thing is stupid as gently caress. Yeah, I read Divergent and felt like the author was trying to turn not knowing what to do with your life after High School into a superpower. I kept reading looking for a "you are not really that special" moment, but it never came.
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Oct 21, 2016 04:27
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Maybe a repost, but I don't know. A friend of mine unironically suggested I read this because it's great:  It is the opposite of great. Where do I loving start. The protagonist, Nate, is a billionaire wizard that owns his own arcane book store in St. Louis. No one in the book can match him for magical strength. He has an eidetic memory and a memory palace. Every woman he meets is both attractive and wants his dick in a huge way. Both of his friends exist only to let Nate own them in some way (one is a jealous coward and the other is a meathead FBI agent werewolf). Oh, and Nate can't stop quoting what the author thinks is obscure literature (more on this in a minute). Nate gets into trouble trying to find a particular book for a client that turns out to be a dragon and other dragons want the book to do magic poo poo with it. Highlights include: -Nate getting arrested and then subsequently "owning" the cops by picking his cuffs, freezing their coffee with magic, and making the lights dim while he yells at them. They are definitely left dumbfounded and emasculated by Nate's power. Don't worry, reader, they let him go while quivering with fear. -Going back to Nate's bachelor pad above his bookstore and getting attacked by a naked woman using seduction magic. She turns out to be a dragon! Most dragons are sexy women that could have sex with Nate BTW. -Nate quotes Poe's "The Raven" out of nowhere, and his friends say something to the effect of "is that some of your ancient text knowledge stuff?" like this poem is not taught to every loving school child in the Western world at some point. -Nate has an employee at said bookstore that wants to gently caress Nate in a bad way, and Nate thinks it's high time to have a relationship with said employee after a she gives Nate a sensual bath post super-rad car chase. -Not an hour earlier Nate meets a lady cop that is super hot and also wants to ride on the wizard stick. She also reveals she is bi so she can rub on some girls when they go to a sexy party then a strip club within a couple chapters. -Nate mansplains to the lady cop that women wear pretty dresses and makeup to simulate sexual attraction. She digs it so much that she gets super horny during the mansplaining. It's okay though because Nate was accidentally giving her a magical roofie thanks to all the power leaking out of him. -Nate namedrops Dante's Inferno like it holds some kind of significance other than it's a classic, and it makes him seem smart. Dante's inferno comes to nothing in this book. Oh God, there's more, but I need a loving drink to get through the rest of the book.
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May 16, 2019 22:31
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I haven’t read any Dresdon stuff in many years, but I remember the protagonist getting his rear end kicked or being outsmarted all the time. This doesn’t make them good books, but at least Harry is an underdog in the books I read (the early ones). This loving guy... This loving guy, Nate, simply wins all his fights, outsmarts all of his opponents, and rolls with the punches with a cool head unless the author wants him to super saiyin for whatever reason.
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May 16, 2019 22:55
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Holy crap at the end of the book Nate and his “friends” become magical consultants (totally not PI’s). Of course everyone he knows now works for him, and the enslaved dragon lady straight up asks for sex afterwards “because Nate promised her.” What a wretched undertaking this was. I will have to dodge the question when my bud asks how i like it.
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May 16, 2019 23:53
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I'm not going back to look.
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May 17, 2019 03:41
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I think the most fantastical thing in this book might be that a guy named Rudi Mackenzie named his daughter órlaith.
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May 18, 2019 19:04
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Ugly In The Morning posted:I’ve been listening to I Don’t Even Own a Television and their Girl with the Dragon Tattoo reminded me of how intensely lovely that book is. I forgot all about the endless, endless dry descriptions of stuff that straight up doesn’t matter. A very VERY slow burn book. And even then it's more a weird smell coming from an outlet than an actual fire. I think it worked much better as a movie because they could go from murder to kicking dildos into evil dude's rear end to getting shot at to solving a mystery without a whole lot of that newspaper poo poo in between.
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Nov 17, 2019 01:23
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Karia posted:
My God, that sounds insufferable. Although it seems like a pretty good encapsulation of what bougie "activists" think a revolution is. I'll be the idea man of the revolution! All the glamour of being an outlaw hero of the people without any of the hardship or danger.
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Nov 19, 2019 23:40
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Dienes posted:Reminds me of Ender's Game, in which a child becomes president of the world because folks like his forum posts just that much. Yeah, I think there's a certain age/maturity level where complex human interactions among billions of people with their own wants, needs, and ambitions seem super simplistic and predictable, and if only they would just stop and listen to me me ME all their problems would just disappear. Most of us grow out of it, but... yeah.
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Nov 20, 2019 02:29
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I read I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream sometime in the 00's, so my information is at least ten years old, probably more. The point of what happens to everyone is that the evil supercomputer has changed everyone's physiology and intellect to be antithetical or a weird perversion of what they once were. That (on its own) is fine to illustrate how a god-like being might toy with sapients it hates, but the problem comes in when you remember that the author created every aspect of who these people originally were. One of the men was super smart, and he got turned into a hulking gorilla type neanderthal. Another guy was a pacifist who is made to kill (?). And the woman is specifically written to have been chaste, so that the AI could make her crave dick against her will. ------------- Upon reading the wikipedia, I'm generally correct, but we have the  BONUS tidbit that the woman is the only person in the story with a specified race. She's black and only loves the big cocks now. Hooray!
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Nov 21, 2019 21:38
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chitoryu12 posted:I bought The Mister and hoooooo boy this is bad. The text says says this guy is working through his grief with sex and drugs, but it also says that he does this poo poo all the time? Reads like an excuse to put this dude in bed with a bunch of disposable women while making his real love interest clean up afterwards. I would ask the author if everything was okay at home, but...
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Dec 6, 2019 00:30
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