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Nanomashoes posted:The Story of the Vivian Girls, in What is Known as the Realms of the Unreal, of the Glandeco-Angelinnian War Storm, Caused by the Child Slave Rebellion I will fight you Mexican Deathgasm posted:I haven't read a lot of truly terrible books because I tend to drop them as soon as I realize they're bullshit, but when I was a teen I read some awful stuff: I chewed through so goddamn many of those stupid books, and worse, I was an active and eager evangelist for them. I lent out Dragons of Autumn Twilight so many times that its covers fell off. The shameful things are still at my mother's house and she never misses an opportunity to ask me if I want them back 
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Jul 2, 2015 13:33
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Carnival of Shrews posted:Time for the famed Clive James review of 'Princess Daisy' by Judith Krantz: A Blizzard of Tiny Kisses. This is a long review at 3000-ish words, but is so rewarding to read right to the end that I won't post excerpts. Oh, that was a delight.
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Jul 13, 2015 01:13
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EmmyOk posted:Jesus Christ that's worse than if it was a slur. To get your own personalized slur, combine the name of the street you grew up on with an antiquated synonym for the first thing you wanted to be when you grew up
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Sep 16, 2016 00:09
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I've never heard of or read this book, but as always, TV Tropes delivers: elf pedophiles with magical copy protection
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Dec 1, 2016 18:49
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MorgaineDax posted:Thomas Kinkade's gently caress Cabin If this isn't a thread title
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Dec 4, 2016 16:42
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Alaois posted:I can't settle down! Squeegle has invaded my nightmares and only Steve Dark can save me! He's busy, but I can have Tom Clancy's Net Force there in twenty minutes
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Dec 8, 2016 02:03
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The Saddest Rhino posted:u forgot my favourite writer of all time piers anthony The Color of His Shitposts
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Jan 28, 2017 00:56
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"The Beginning" by Kevin Lindo Cadelina Some samples from that album:   
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Feb 21, 2017 20:17
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Fleta Mcgurn posted:e: I mean, he might not even be wrong, current events considered. No, you're right: this is a historically-accurate history of the National Football League, as well as a prayer book.
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Feb 22, 2017 12:27
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What I loved about the terrible period during which Left Behind was culturally relevant was the swarm of imitators very obviously looking to cash in on the "diamond-hard erection for the end of the world and eternal suffering of billions" dollar, up to and including Left Behind's co-author himself (lol, like that gruesome loving lich Tim LaHaye wrote a single word of those books): This dweeb wrote a trilogy about "religion being outlawed" and End Times and all that hot bullshit that the interminable Left Behind series (let's not forget the young adult spinoff "Left Behind: THE KIDS" and the comics and the hilariously terrible real-time strategy computer game) covered and it still made the bestseller list.
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May 25, 2017 11:55
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oh holy moly it's a trilogy and the last one appears to have kind of gone off the rails The only review on Amazon posted:This book is essentially a 350-page diatribe about human rights abuses by the government that are allowed to happen in the name of the war against terror--although in this book it's the war against aliens. The first book in the trilogy, The Merchant Prince, was a fun read. The second, The Merchant Prince Volume 2: Outrageous Fortune, was also interesting although a bit more serious. Capital Offense, however, is nothing more than a rant by the author. [...] This is also the only book of the trilogy where Armin Shimerman (who played Quark in Star Trek and Principal Snyder in Buffy) did all the writing. that is extremely embarrassing
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May 31, 2017 12:11
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Jerry Cotton posted:Everyone in history was a literal piece of poo poo. So if evolution is real then why are there still pieces of poo poo 
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Jun 14, 2017 00:18
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Every time a female urethra opens up: thall shalt not pee fore thy solve my riddles three and they're like gently caress JUST GIVE ME THE MAZE AND A CRAYON
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Jul 22, 2017 04:26
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wil wheaton's second career as internet nerd poo poo-consumption cheerleader is as damning an indictment of late-stage capitalism as anything you'd hope to see on wall street
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Jul 28, 2017 11:53
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queserasera posted:I had to put down Libromancer because the protagonist, a cataloger for a public library, did his job by standing at the front desk zapping ISBNs. Dude, really, you couldn't have just shadowed or interviewed an actual cataloger or other back-of-house staffer to find out what they actually do? Copy cataloging is a thing. There's no reason to create a MARC record from scratch for mass marketed materials that are all exactly alike when you can zap said ISBN and download a perfectly good MARC from, say, OCLC right into your local database, especially if you've got hundreds of new titles to add. That said, this book doesn't sound very good, so who knows if the author even knew *that* much.
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Aug 23, 2017 23:01
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Djeser posted:
"I've invented the piano." "Jack, the piano has existed for almost two hundred years." "No, wait, hear me out."
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Sep 9, 2017 03:00
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Here's a famously awful passage (that was new to me). It's a photograph of a page in a book, but linked for NSFW text, just in case. http://i.imgur.com/I4ZrJ91.jpg
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Oct 3, 2017 15:48
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DACK FAYDEN posted:I know this isn't the thread for this but I've never understood the X & X & X shirts at all. Where did they come from? Why do people keep purchasing them in ever more esoteric variants? Blame the Dutch! 
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Oct 3, 2017 17:24
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Oxxidation posted:today i learned
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Oct 5, 2017 01:36
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zoux posted:Did you read this article from the Cut? Y'all know I'm a gentle-hearted man but I want to give this dumdum a loving swirly
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Oct 5, 2017 15:38
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Oxxidation posted:Pretty much what I figured. She's not an author, she's a brand, and commands the same slavering knee-jerk loyalty. Correct, and people who consciously and calculatedly make themselves into "brands" need to be messily shat upon from a great height.
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Oct 6, 2017 12:28
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 Ambitious Spider posted:Nothing happens. Halfway through the book and halloween is over. It's basically there so he can wear his Captain Terror halloween costume. Which is glow in the dark, has lots of pockets, and is really tight and keeps showing his erection when he kills people. Captain Terror has a rule of two. What you do to me, I do back to you twofold!  ???
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Oct 10, 2017 12:40
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I am absolutely not turning this into an e/n thread derail, but I'm doing the online dating thing, and so you know how that basically goes with the introductory "getting to know you messages" and such: me (paraphrase) : "What have you really lately that you really liked?" she (verbatim) : "My current favorite book is Ready Player One. I've read it multiple times." me (at my screen) :  I literally sucked air through clenched teeth when I got to that sentence, and I thought this thread would appreciate it.
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Oct 11, 2017 11:38
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Strom Cuzewon posted:Channel that book rage into a creative profile! I... actually loving love this idea.
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Oct 11, 2017 12:23
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BravestOfTheLamps posted:Hope you guys eventually graduated into real literature like The Nightmare Room by R.L. Stine, like I did. normies won't get these 
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Oct 12, 2017 22:46
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I like it when a Piers Anthony character stumbles into the Rape Store and is like "oh hang on, not for me, I'll just have a hamburger steak combo" and when the proprietor says that they aren't serving HB steak and even if they were, they don't do combos, a Culture Mind sneezes and in that wash of ionized molecules both creates and destroys a diner in Reform, Alabama, United States of America, Planet Earth
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Oct 23, 2017 01:11
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EmmyOk posted:A bad book I read that I mean to try again is The Secret Life of Bees. We had to read it in school when I was 17 and I didn't get along with the teacher at all and I think reading a book as part of schoolwork is a surefire way to not enjoy a good book. Maybe it is just unenjoyable poo poo but I'd like to give it another try at some point. That said when I was 14 we were assigned To Kill a Mockingbird and I read that ahead of the classes and it was pretty good. I didn't like Moby-Dick until I was into my twenties and attempted it again, at which point I loved it. It wasn't a question of me not liking my English teacher - he was a great guy - but there's really no reason in the world that book should be taught to callow youths.
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Oct 25, 2017 13:05
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what lever can I pull to run over Rupi Kaur actually, don't worry about it; based on her social media presence, which is to say a Tiptree-level "girl who was plugged in" pissing and making GBS threads in a multimedia booth kind of presence, I'm sure one of her confederates will tell her that someone said "someone speculated about running you over with a trolley on Something Awful" and she'll be like wheels running over my body my valuable inclusive experience totally smushed rice-a-roni NOT the san francisco treat
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Oct 28, 2017 04:28
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- rupi kaurrrrrrrRRRRRRGH
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Oct 28, 2017 04:29
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the old ceremony posted:tiptree was completely loving insane and i love her She's one of my all-time favorite authors, and her biography is right alongside her fiction as being an extremely wild and heartbreaking ride.
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Nov 1, 2017 11:59
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Arcsquad12 posted:Inspiration for ready player one no doubt the dumb dingus in that book named his spaceship "Vonnegut" which goes to show you can read all you want and still learn nothing
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Dec 14, 2017 17:08
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Mr. Sunshine posted:showers her with expensive gifts Like her very first email address!  
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Dec 15, 2017 16:26
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Proteus Jones posted:How was she planning on using it for "uh...email." if upon being told she has an email address she's shocked. I suspect she once overheard the word "email" when she was out shopping for things like clothes and makeup.
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Dec 15, 2017 16:45
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MorgaineDax posted:I just found out that EL James is riding this cashcow right to her grave and has been writing a sequel trilogy, which is just 50 Shades but told from the point of view of the guy. L, an M, an F A O James, a bloated mewling hack Me, I will not Read these books
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Dec 16, 2017 14:54
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there wolf posted:Alternatively you could garner an audience that's a little too into it. That sounds like it would be every bit as much an enjoyable spectacle as the Let's Read proceedings themselves.
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Dec 19, 2017 18:23
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Inescapable Duck posted:That's actually really common with bad remakes and movie adaptations. It is! And that drives me loving bananas. It's like they're ashamed of all the things that made the franchises popular in the first place! Say what you will about G.I. Joe, but the original incarnation of the team was basically highly-skilled eccentrics allowed to dress however they liked for the, basically, one job they had (missile launcher guy, bomb-defusing guy, laser guy, underwater guy), and it was great. The movie had a bunch of people doing their best impressions of unfurnished one-bedroom apartments wearing all-black, and Snake-Eyes, because of course.
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Feb 16, 2018 13:54
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Hemingway To Go! posted:I have never seen a wiki that does what tfwiki does the only good wiki
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Mar 15, 2018 12:33
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Kierena posted:
I, uh, what
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May 22, 2019 12:32
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Dabir posted:look if you wanted to talk about excellent literature this probably isn't the thread you're looking for No light without shadow and all that. I'd rather us stick to our remit of roasting terrible books, their authors, and the people who love them, but if someone wants to go with a "this reminds me of something actually good" derail, that's fine. PYF: Derails Welcome.
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Nov 19, 2019 12:19
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Powerful Two-Hander posted:The Philip K Dick novella Flow my Tears The Policeman Said has an infuriating "dream" ending where, after the main character has had all his wealth and power stripped and is thrust into the grim real world, it turns out that it was all someone else's dream because they took loads of drugs and it warped reality . I uh wow no No
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Nov 20, 2019 01:38
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