TFF Football Toxx Thread 2015- None of us are funny

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > TFF Football Toxx Thread 2015- None of us are funny

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Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Hey everyone! Football is very close to starting! Yay! A tradition around here is to :toxx:

ourselves because we need to prove how much we love our sport and team.
A :toxx:

is a bet that we make publicly and without shame, so feel free to be as creative as you can be! A hardcore poster will do bans or long probations, but recently users have been dropping charity :toxx:

which is a very Just and Good thing to do! I am so proud of a goon who donates to a Just charity. However, no one will force you to donate any money at all so don't feel any shame if you can't afford to do that. The mods have the final say in whether or not to acquiesce to them and they will not force them upon you if push comes to shove. We are a generous sort here in TFF.

Also, and this is important, YOU ARE NOT MAY CONTAIN PEANUTS. YOUR :toxx:

WILL NOT BE AS GOOD AS HIS. DO NOT SAY YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE X AMOUNT OF POSTS WHILE MENTIONING SOME MEME OR WHATEVER. THAT SHIP HAS SAILED. BE CREATIVE AND MAKE UP GOOD :toxx:

ES FOR YOU TO DO.

If you are still unsure about what :toxx:

to make, let me give you a good example:

PARMESAN BASIL'S 2015 NFL :toxx:

1: If Alex Smith throws for over 3500 yards by the end of the regular season, I will earn a 6 hour probation. For every hundred yards after that, the probation will increase one step (i.e. 12 hours at 3600, 1 day at 3700 and on and on. Perhaps a mod could formulate a more thorough and accurate chart). If Smith hits 4500 yards, I will accept a 100,000 hour probation.

:toxx:

2: If Alex Smith completes a pass that travels more than thirty (30) yards in air, I will make a donation to a charity equal to the yardage of the pass itself. The charity will be decided upon at a later date (it will probably be someone like RAINN or SPLC or ACLU but I will take suggestions!)

:toxx:

3: If Alex Smith has a game where he throws for over 300 yards, I will pledge not to mention him until the next GDT during which the Chiefs are playing. If he has three games over three hundred yards, I will not discuss Alex Smith as a QB for a calender month, starting immediately after his third 300 yard game. If he has six games with over 300 yards, I will not mention him until the beginning of the 2016 preseason (barring some really crazy event happening with him)

All of these :toxx:

es are null and void if he sits for more than one game or if he is cut.

These are the :toxx:

es I have agreed to. I will try very hard to meet them, if the conditions are met. I'm sure some of you will remember them as the season goes on.
With that said, BEGIN THE :toxx:

ing!

Edit: I'm so glad this thread has succeeded! Couldn't do it without you guys! Now, however, it's time for...

:toxx:

MASTERLIST!!!

A Man and his dog posted:

If RG3 throws more then 25+ TD, I will take a 3 day probation.

WugLyfe posted:

I will sample and journal my experiences with a local food/consumable item from each city the NE Patriots lose to this year.

Too bad you didn't do this last year, Wug. You could have had some KC BBQ!!!

Anaranjado posted:

My is as follows. If the Bengals win a playoff game with Andy Dalton as their starting QB I will donate $25 to the ACLU. If the Bengals win a playoff game with AJ McCarron as their starting QB I will donate $50 to the ACLU. If Mohamed Sanu throws a touchdown in a Bengals playoff game I will donate $50 to the ACLU.

Knyteguy posted:

this is the year the Lions finally beat Green Bay at Lambeau. If not I will give to charity the Packers score in that game * 3 (ie 31 points $93) up to $120. In the event of a tie I will give $50 to charity instead.
Matthew Stafford will hit 5,000 yards this season. If not I will accept a 3 day probation. If he's injured this doesn't count.

Ehud posted:

If the Dolphins finish better than 8-8 then I will let TFF Pats fans pick my next avatar. I will keep it for one calendar year.

If the Dolphins make the playoffs then I will change my username to PARCELLSMANBOOBS for one year accompanied by a new avatar with Bill Parcells' sweet boobs

Wall Balls posted:

if the packers win the superbowl i will redraw this classic cover (to the best of my ability)

with aaron rodgers flipping ringed double birds, and gift a packers fan an av with it

Numlock posted:

Texas Tech will beat the following teams this year, Texas, Oklahoma, Baylor and TCU.

If not I will change my avatar image to something expressing my undying love for one or more of these teams until Texas Tech's first game of 2016.

NickRoweFillea posted:

if tennessee loses to florida again this year I want a three day probation. thank you and Go Vols.

CaptainYesterday posted:

If the Houston Texans win Super Bowl 50 OR a Texan wins MVP for the 2015 season, I will buy the MVP of the league or the MVP of the Super Bowl's jersey, whichever is the Texan (Nike Limited version). However, if that person is Arian Foster, this Toxx is null and void, since I already own his jersey.

If the Houston Texans win Super Bowl 50 AND a Texan wins MVP for the 2015 season, I will buy the league MVP's jersey (Nike Elite version). If Arian Foster is league MVP, I will buy the Super Bowl 50 MVP's jersey, unless it is also Arian Foster, in which case the Toxx is null and void.

Burger Trench posted:

If the Bills go 19-0, I'll upload a video of myself yelling "GO BILLS!" to YouTube.

Febreeze posted:

If Eli throws 5 ints in a game again, I will draw him farting in my face while eating a rocket pop

If the Giants complete the prophecy and win the Super Bowl again I will illustrate the famous Spherical Breasts post and title it Spectacular Failure

YMB posted:

In honor of wheez and in support of my lord Chip Kelly, I will go live on the internet and take [16 - (Eagles Regular Season Wins)] shots of the most disgusting liquor TFF goons (preferably a Cowboys fan) can dream up for me, within [3 - (Number of QBs that Start a Game For The Eagles)] hours. I will then remain available live on the internet for however long you decide to pester me and I will take requests both mundane and bizarre. If the Eagles go 16-0, I'm taking all 16 shots.

I'll also donate $50.00 to a charity that doesn't suck if the Eagles win a playoff game.\

Smarms posted:

If the Bengals make the playoffs, I will donate $50 to Doctors Without Borders in honor of our fallen goon comrade.

For each playoff win, I will add an additional $50 to that donation.

If they manage to win Super Bowl 50 with Andy "Red Rifle" Dalton at the helm, I will swap out my avatar with one of his smiling visage and never speak ill of him again.

Pron on VHS posted:

If the Chiefs win a playoff game I'll get whatever goons want tattooed in my armpit area for under 100 bucks. No hate speech or lewd images.

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

Yeah.

Also if the Niners make it to the playoffs I will grow a Tomsula mustache.

Ross Angeles posted:

Here's my loving toxx.

We will win 9 games this year. If we do not, and win 8 or fewer games, I will make a video of myself singing the fight song of whoever quotes this while doing one shot for every game that we lose. Six losses equals six shots, etc etc.

This one will be Kent State

Blitz7x posted:

If the Raiders sweep the Chargers I will buy a Philip Rivers Jersey and recreate the video where he talks about saving his virginity until marriage in a shot for shot remake and post the YouTube video here

Chichevache posted:

If Seattle makes a third consecutive Super Bowl I will commemorate it with a tattoo no larger than my hand, though I reserve the right to get something bigger if I find a really cool one. This tattoo won't be hidden on my rear end cheek or anything lame like that either. If we make the postseason I'll start coming up with poo poo.

13 year old girls posted:

in the vein of how I ended up with this username after the 2013 NHL playoffs, if the New England Asterisks fail to secure 12 wins in the upcoming season, I will graciously accept and pay for a terrible humiliating username/title/avatar combo. I'll keep that combo until at least the end of the 2016 regular season.

goes to the first person to either claim the rights to choose my fate or the first person to remember this poo poo in December lol

commy gun posted:

If the Skins don't get over 5 wins this season I will continue to hate life and myself for following this dumb team.

thinking this one might be a joke idk

Boba Phat posted:

If the 49ers win more than 8 games, I'll change my avatar from a Marshawn Lynch centaur to a Colin Kaepernick fawn.

The Big Jesus posted:

If the titans make the playoffs I will buy a mariota jersey and wear it while grilling/eating a pineapple and a duck. I will also donate ten flocks of ducks to some people in Bangladesh.

http://www.heifer.org/gift-catalog/animals-nutrition/flock-of-ducks-donation.html

Tremendous Taste posted:

If the Bills make the playoffs I'll record a Bills themed mixtape with one track for every one of their wins before the 2016 season starts.

The Big Jesus posted:

If Georgia Tech wins the ACC and beats Georgia I will buy five swarms of bees for some people in Guatemala.

http://www.heifer.org/gift-catalog/animals-nutrition/honeybees-donation.html

Cruel and Unusual posted:

If the Lions win a playoff game, for one whole year none of my posts will contain the letter 'e'. Abbreviations and contractions of words containing 'e' will also be prohibited; for example, 'QB' (quarterback) and 'NFL' (National Football League) won't fly.

If the Lions win the Super Bowl, for one whole year the only vowels I will use will be 'i' and 'o'.

computer parts posted:

If Texas A&M doesn't get at least the same number of SEC wins as last year (3) I will change my avatar to something Longhorn related.

If the Lions make the Super Bowl I will buy a Matthew Stafford jersey. If they win it I'll also buy a Megatron jersey.

Eifert Posting posted:

Renewing my annual If the Bengals win the superbowl I never say anything negative about football or any of the players, coaches, management, etc. on SA ever again.Only exception is that I can be as vitriolic as I want if there's credible news about the possibility of Cinci losing the Bengals.

Metapod posted:

I'll give to St. Jude for each titan win
:toxx:

Edit:

Fine ties are $20

Chilichimp posted:

Repeatin' my Toxx from last year.

If Rashed Hageman gets 10+ sacks in 2015, I'm buying his Jersey for me and Shath hole :toxx:

If The Falcons Finish the year with 50+ sacks, I'll donate 100 dollars to Children's Healthcare of Atlanta :toxx:

Mel Mudkiper posted:

If Tim Tebow is made the official starter of the Philadelphia Eagles at QB at any point this season I will accept whatever punishment* is decided upon by the forum in that week's Aftermath thread

*-nothing financially extravagant or irl humiliating please.

defiantgiant posted:

If Jay Cutler finishes the season with single-digit picks, I will take as many shots of goon-selected booze (or boozes) as he throws Cutlerceptions, while wearing my not-yet-donated-to-Goodwill Cutler jersey. And to make it less of just an excuse to drink, I will also donate $20 to Heifer International for each pick.

NOTE: this :toxx: applies equally if Jay tosses 9 picks in Week 1, then immediately gets benched/horribly injured for the rest of the season.

LiquidFriend posted:

If the Chiefs win the Super Bowl, I will buy an Alex Smith jersey and wear it every day for a month.

If Alex Smith is benched for bad performance, I will let PB choose my next avatar and will keep it for a minimum of one year.

If the Chiefs sweep Denver, I will grow and maintain the Andy Reid walrus stache through the Super Bowl.

It will just be my current av but instead it'll say "DESTINY: DENIED"

sweet thursday posted:

If the Colts win the Super Bowl I will ride the city bus around down town and the first person I see who's clinically obese, I'll wait until they get up for their stop and then I'll lick their seat

GUISSEPPE PIZZAPIE posted:

:toxx: If LeSean McCoy runs for over 150 yards on the Eagles, I will burn his jersey and video it for you.

:toxx: If the Eagles make it to the Superbowl, I will write and sing a song about Chip Kelly's Wild Ride

:toxx: If the Cowboys win the superbowl this season, I will buy multiple rolls of Cowboys toilet paper, wrap myself in it on tape so as to look like a mummy and use myself to wipe up various representations of Eagles personnel and dreams.

Fenrir posted:

I don't have any good ideas right now so I'll do the same thing I did last year:

:toxx: If any NFC North team sweeps the Packers in 2015, that team's fans can pick my avatar & username, which I will keep until at least the Super Bowl. If said team goes on to WIN the Super Bowl I'll keep it until the next season begins.

e: If by some bizarre horrible thing happens and multiple NFCN teams sweep the Packers (ha ha), then it goes to the fans of the team that won by the highest point total in the two games.

axeil posted:

:toxx: If Tim Tebow is a significant contributor (i.e. actually plays meaningful snaps and doesn't just sit on the bench) to an Eagles Super Bowl win I will buy a Tim Tebow Eagles jersey and show you all pictures.

edit: compared to Mel's this sucks so I'll add in that you guys get to pick a Tim Tebow: QB Eagles themed avatar for me and I'll keep it till the start of the next season.

Crunkjuice posted:

If the cowboys have a winning record, i'll take the difference in shots of my choice. If they have a losing record, I'll take the difference in shots of the choice of whatever a redskins/eagles/giants fan chooses. If the cowboys goes 8-8 i'll do 8 shots of fireball for our ginger rear end in a top hat coach because i'll need to wash the pain away of another 8-8 season. I'm not drinking anything unsafe, so lets keep it to lovely well liquors please.

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

If the Niners stumble their way into the playoffs I will grow a Tomsula mustache and document my progress in TFF.

If they win the Super Bowl, I will personally send a letter to Jed York offering to blow him live on television.

This is my :toxx: for the season, motherfuckers.

Fenrir posted:

:toxx: If the Bears beat the Packers this Sunday I will shave off my entire beard (it's quite a beard these days) and provide picture proof by monday evening.

Incitatus posted:

:toxx: If the Jets makes the playoff I will write a minimum 1500 word erotic fanfiction of Fitzpatrick and Todd Bowles where Fitzy is a Harvard student and Bowles is a professor. Or it could be a college football player/coach scenario, whatever.

Fenrir posted:

:toxx: if the Green Bay Packers do not make the playoffs this year I will compose an original song about our failures, with my dulcimer and voice alone. It'll be really bad.

Parmesan Basil fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Oct 11, 2015

# ? Jul 15, 2015 16:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:18

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Suddenly I'm a huge Alex Smith fan.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 16:07

A Man and his dog: Oct 24, 2013; by R. Guyovich

If RG3 throws more then 25+ TD, I will take a 3 day probation.

:toxx:

# ? Jul 15, 2015 16:11

GonadTheBallbarian: Jul 23, 2007

I will sample and journal my experiences with a local food/consumable item from each city the NE Patriots lose to this year.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 16:14

Chromatic: Jan 21, 2005; You guys ready to hear a satanic song?

Parmesan Basil posted:

PARMESAN BASIL'S 2015 NFL es

1: If Alex Smith throws for over 3500 yards by the end of the regular season, I will earn a 6 hour probation. For every hundred yards after that, the probation will increase one order of magnitude (i.e. 12 hours at 3600, 1 day at 3700 and on and on. Perhaps a mod could formulate a more thorough and accurate chart). If Smith hits 4500 yards, I will accept a 100,000 hour probation.

The probation for 3500+ should at least be a week. No way Smith hits 3500 without taking chances, which he himself knows he sucks at and won't do.

quote:

2: If Alex Smith completes a pass that travels more than thirty (30) yards in air, I will make a donation to a charity equal to the yardage of the pass itself. The charity will be decided upon at a later date (it will probably be someone like RAINN or SPLC or ACLU but I will take suggestions!)

It should be related to football. Concussion research definitely and yeah probably RAINN.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 16:44

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Chromatic posted:

The probation for 3500+ should at least be a week. No way Smith hits 3500 without taking chances, which he himself knows he sucks at and won't do.

It should be related to football. Concussion research definitely and yeah probably RAINN.

He has the best receivers he's ever had. If he can't hit 3500 with them :shrug:

# ? Jul 15, 2015 16:46

Chromatic: Jan 21, 2005; You guys ready to hear a satanic song?

Parmesan Basil posted:

He has the best receivers he's ever had. If he can't hit 3500 with them

I just think he's that limited. He could have Calvin, Dez, Gronk, Kelce and Charles and would probably still just barely get over that amount.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 16:50

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Chromatic posted:

I just think he's that limited. He could have Calvin, Dez, Gronk, Kelce and Charles and would probably still just barely get over that amount.

Yeah, that's a fact. He probably couldn't hit Dez if he tried

# ? Jul 15, 2015 16:57

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Cool, another thread where Parm just bitches about Alex Smith

# ? Jul 15, 2015 16:58

Sour Diesel: Jan 30, 2010

alex smith would have a ring if he started in the super bowl

# ? Jul 15, 2015 17:03

Aye Doc: Jul 19, 2007

Parmesan Basil posted:

2: If Alex Smith completes a pass that travels more than thirty (30) yards in air, I will make a donation to a charity equal to the yardage of the pass itself. The charity will be decided upon at a later date (it will probably be someone like RAINN or SPLC or ACLU but I will take suggestions!)

i'd like to suggest The Alex Smith Foundation for the charity

# ? Jul 15, 2015 17:06

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Ross Angeles posted:

Cool, another thread where Parm just bitches about Alex Smith

See how happy you are when your team gives him 45mil guaranteed

# ? Jul 15, 2015 17:19

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; Wet

Alex Smith is a kind and nice guy and I hope he leads the Chiefs to the AFC championship game, where they lose to Andy Dalton.

My :toxx:

is as follows. If the Bengals win a playoff game with Andy Dalton as their starting QB I will donate $25 to the ACLU. If the Bengals win a playoff game with AJ McCarron as their starting QB I will donate $50 to the ACLU. If Mohamed Sanu throws a touchdown in a Bengals playoff game I will donate $50 to the ACLU.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 17:25

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Parmesan Basil posted:

See how happy you are when your team gives him 45mil guaranteed

Wow 45 Mil!!!

# ? Jul 15, 2015 17:30

Blowjob Overtime: Apr 6, 2008; Steeeeriiiiiiiiike twooooooo!

Parmesan Basil posted:

1: If Alex Smith throws for over 3500 yards by the end of the regular season, I will earn a 6 hour probation. For every hundred yards after that, the probation will increase one order of magnitude (i.e. 12 hours at 3600, 1 day at 3700 and on and on. Perhaps a mod could formulate a more thorough and accurate chart). If Smith hits 4500 yards, I will accept a 100,000 hour probation.

"increase one order of magnitude" means that it would go up by a factor of 10.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 17:51

GonadTheBallbarian: Jul 23, 2007

Enough Alex Smith circlejerkery, more irresponsible promises to strangers to do stupid and entertaining poo poo.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 17:58

Knyteguy: Jul 6, 2005; YES to love
NO to shirts; Toilet Rascal

this is the year the Lions finally beat Green Bay at Lambeau. If not I will give to charity the Packers score in that game * 3 (ie 31 points $93) up to $120. In the event of a tie I will give $50 to charity instead.
:toxx:

Matthew Stafford will hit 5,000 yards this season. If not I will accept a 3 day probation. If he's injured this doesn't count.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:00

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

DrKennethNoisewater posted:

"increase one order of magnitude" means that it would go up by a factor of 10.

oh. hah hah! I will fix that!

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:12

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Parmesan Basil posted:

oh. hah hah! I will fix that!

Sorry but you cannot change a toxx once posted

The Toxx stays as is :colbert:

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:16

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Mel Mudkiper posted:

Sorry but you cannot change a toxx once posted

The Toxx stays as is

I don't think probations work the way my mistake made them sound, unless a mod just constantly probates me for days on end.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:20

Mel Mudkiper: Jan 19, 2012; At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Parmesan Basil posted:

unless a mod just constantly probates me for days on end.

I see no problem with this

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:22

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

If the Dolphins finish better than 8-8 then I will let TFF Pats fans pick my next avatar. I will keep it for one calendar year.

:toxx:

If the Dolphins make the playoffs then I will change my username to PARCELLSMANBOOBS for one year accompanied by a new avatar with Bill Parcells' sweet boobs

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:24

Sour Diesel: Jan 30, 2010

I hope no one makes a toxx like "my next 100 posts will contain..." because those aren't funny and end up punishing the rest of the forum instead of the person making the toxx.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:24

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Ehud posted:

If the Dolphins finish better than 8-8 then I will let TFF Pats fans pick my next avatar. I will keep it for one calendar year.

If the Dolphins make the playoffs then I will change my username to PARCELLSMANBOOBS for one year accompanied by a new avatar with Bill Parcells' sweet boobs

So does the 2nd one cancel the first one out, or what

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:27

Wall Balls: Jun 3, 2007; Spanish Castle Magic

if the packers win the superbowl i will redraw this classic cover (to the best of my ability)

with aaron rodgers flipping ringed double birds, and gift a packers fan an av with it :toxx:

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:28

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Ross Angeles posted:

So does the 2nd one cancel the first one out, or what

yeah

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:30

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Ehud posted:

yeah

Cool

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:36

Numlock: May 19, 2007; The simplest seppo on the forums

Texas Tech will beat the following teams this year, Texas, Oklahoma, Baylor and TCU.

If not I will change my avatar image to something expressing my undying love for one or more of these teams until Texas Tech's first game of 2016.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:38

NickRoweFillea: Sep 27, 2012; doin thangs

if tennessee loses to florida again this year I want a three day probation. thank you and Go Vols. :toxx:

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:51

Parmesan Basil: Nov 12, 2008; TIME IS THE FIRE IN WHICH WE BURN THE GAME CLOCK

Mel Mudkiper posted:

I see no problem with this

It would be unfair to Intruder or MV and I try to be nice to the mods! They do hard work for us.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 18:53

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

If the Houston Texans win Super Bowl 50 OR a Texan wins MVP for the 2015 season, I will buy the MVP of the league or the MVP of the Super Bowl's jersey, whichever is the Texan (Nike Limited version). However, if that person is Arian Foster, this Toxx is null and void, since I already own his jersey.

:toxx:

If the Houston Texans win Super Bowl 50 AND a Texan wins MVP for the 2015 season, I will buy the league MVP's jersey (Nike Elite version). If Arian Foster is league MVP, I will buy the Super Bowl 50 MVP's jersey, unless it is also Arian Foster, in which case the Toxx is null and void.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 19:21

GonadTheBallbarian: Jul 23, 2007

Sour Diesel posted:

I hope no one makes a toxx like "my next 100 posts will contain..." because those aren't funny and end up punishing the rest of the forum instead of the person making the toxx.

Oh, the halcyon days of shitposting.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 19:25

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

CaptainYesterday posted:

If the Houston Texans win Super Bowl 50 OR a Texan wins MVP for the 2015 season, I will buy the MVP of the league or the MVP of the Super Bowl's jersey, whichever is the Texan (Nike Limited version). However, if that person is Arian Foster, this Toxx is null and void, since I already own his jersey.

If the Houston Texans win Super Bowl 50 AND a Texan wins MVP for the 2015 season, I will buy the league MVP's jersey (Nike Elite version). If Arian Foster is league MVP, I will buy the Super Bowl 50 MVP's jersey, unless it is also Arian Foster, in which case the Toxx is null and void.

Oh wow, if your favorite team wins a Super Bowl, you'll buy a jersey? Is there no bottom to this well of Toxx's depravity?

# ? Jul 15, 2015 22:48

fsif: Jul 18, 2003

If the Bills go 19-0, I'll upload a video of myself yelling "GO BILLS!" to YouTube.

# ? Jul 15, 2015 22:50

Pimpcasso: Mar 13, 2002; VOLS BITCH

NickRoweFillea posted:

if tennessee loses to florida again this year I want a three day probation. thank you and Go Vols.

Give me a month. Don't gently caress this up Butch!

vols bitch

# ? Jul 15, 2015 23:03

Febreeze: Oct 24, 2011; I want to care, butt I dont

If Eli throws 5 ints in a game again, I will draw him farting in my face while eating a rocket pop

If the Giants complete the prophecy and win the Super Bowl again I will illustrate the famous Spherical Breasts post and title it Spectacular Failure

:toxx:

# ? Jul 15, 2015 23:17

YMB: Nov 8, 2009; in an unceremonious way

In honor of wheez and in support of my lord Chip Kelly, I will go live on the internet and take [16 - (Eagles Regular Season Wins)] shots of the most disgusting liquor TFF goons (preferably a Cowboys fan) can dream up for me, within [3 - (Number of QBs that Start a Game For The Eagles)] hours. I will then remain available live on the internet for however long you decide to pester me and I will take requests both mundane and bizarre. If the Eagles go 16-0, I'm taking all 16 shots.

I'll also donate $50.00 to a charity that doesn't suck if the Eagles win a playoff game.\

:toxx:

# ? Jul 15, 2015 23:21

Smarms: Aug 27, 2008

If the Bengals make the playoffs, I will donate $50 to Doctors Without Borders in honor of our fallen goon comrade.

For each playoff win, I will add an additional $50 to that donation.

If they manage to win Super Bowl 50 with Andy "Red Rifle" Dalton at the helm, I will swap out my avatar with one of his smiling visage and never speak ill of him again.

:toxx:

# ? Jul 15, 2015 23:51

Pron on VHS: Nov 14, 2005; Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling

If the Chiefs win a playoff game I'll get whatever goons want tattooed in my armpit area for under 100 bucks. No hate speech or lewd images.

# ? Jul 16, 2015 00:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 05:18

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Sour Diesel posted:

alex smith would have a ring if he started in the super bowl

Yeah.

Also if the Niners make it to the playoffs I will grow a Tomsula mustache. :toxx:

# ? Jul 16, 2015 00:07

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > TFF Football Toxx Thread 2015- None of us are funny

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