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meatpimp posted:Rolling with the punches. i am going to punch you
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Jul 20, 2015 23:33
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Jul 20, 2015 23:45
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Astonishing Wang posted:In Joel 2:10 it talks about his Eclipse: Apparently they also lived their lives one cubit at a time 2 Kings 9:20 The lookout reported, "He has reached them, but he isn't coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi--he drives like a maniac."
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Jul 20, 2015 23:45
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You know what ford stands for? "Fix it again tony" Only king of the hill watchers know this.
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Jul 20, 2015 23:48
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Has anyone made the joke about Audi yet? Audi... be in the junkyard! Get it? Because the Germans make high maintenance automobiles, and Audi sounds like "ought to be" said by someone currently having a major stroke. Stay safe out there, a stroke is no laughing matter.
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Jul 20, 2015 23:58
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Ineptus Mechanicus posted:Has anyone made the joke about Audi yet? Audi... be in the junkyard! Get it? Because the Germans make high maintenance automobiles, and Audi sounds like "ought to be" said by someone currently having a major stroke. i nearly went into cardiac arrest laughing at this joke
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Jul 21, 2015 00:02
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You could have gone into Cadillac arrest, but that would imply driving one.
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Jul 21, 2015 00:08
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starbarry clock posted:i nearly went into cardiac arrest laughing at this joke When you lose control of your thread, it's like a runaway diesel. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pM12mhzw94Y
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Jul 21, 2015 00:14
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EVERYWHERE 
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meatpimp posted:When you lose control of your thread, it's like a runaway diesel. meatpimp my ride
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Jul 21, 2015 00:17
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I feel like it's my civic duty to implore you all to play nice in this thread.
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Jul 21, 2015 00:17
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14 INCH SLIT posted:I feel like it's my civic duty to implore you all to play nice in this thread.
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Jul 21, 2015 00:18
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what is a talking great danes favorite car company? [in scooby doo voice] SUBARU!!!
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Jul 21, 2015 00:20
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Knock knock! who's there?  This is Officer Sadface with the police department, I regret to inform you that your wife and children were hit by a drunk driver on their way to see you at work today. They wanted to surprise you. The only thing that survived the horrific crash, outside of your wife who unfortunately took entirely too long to bleed out as paramedics tried to extract her from the broken wreck was this blood smeared letter saying "we love you dad!" The boys down at the precinct and I felt you should have it.
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Jul 21, 2015 00:27
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Hoosier tire announced today they are merging with yokohama tire. With this merger they will combine their technologies to build a new line of race winning tires called Hoosiermama.
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Jul 21, 2015 00:34
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Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Car idles so harsh its cruel. Says he feels all alone in flat rate world. Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great mechanic - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should fix your car." Man bursts into tears. "But doctor..." he says "I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.
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Jul 21, 2015 00:42
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The mechanic said my Jaguar had a cat problem. I dunno, it's purring fine to me.
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Jul 21, 2015 00:45
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A man is lounging around his home when he hears a knock at the door. He answers it, sees nobody, and shuts the door. There's a knock again; he looks around and doesn't see anyone. There's a third knock, he opens the door, and finally he looks down and sees a snail. He picks up the snail and throws it back into the lawn. [Joke will continue in real time.]
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Jul 21, 2015 01:07
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Jul 21, 2015 01:09
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Q: Why did they call it the Maserati Biturbo? A: The turbo blew up, taking the rest of the engine with it. Bye, turbo!
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Jul 21, 2015 01:20
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Ineptus Mechanicus posted:Q: Why did they call it the Maserati Biturbo? lol
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Jul 21, 2015 01:21
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IOwnCalculus posted:Hoosier tire announced today they are merging with yokohama tire. With this merger they will combine their technologies to build a new line of race winning tires called Hoosiermama. In response to this news, Kumho launched a new 'LE' series of racing tire to compete with the Hoosiermama- the Kumho LE 100 will be available in the next few weeks.
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Jul 21, 2015 01:39
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Wanna hear a joke?
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Jul 21, 2015 01:49
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Safety Dance posted:A man is lounging around his home when he hears a knock at the door. He answers it, sees nobody, and shuts the door. There's a knock again; he looks around and doesn't see anyone. There's a third knock, he opens the door, and finally he looks down and sees a snail. He picks up the snail and throws it back into the lawn. Much later, the man hears another knock on the door. He answers it, and the snail says, "Well that was loving rude."
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Jul 21, 2015 04:36
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A penguin was driving through Arizona when his check engine light comes on. Being a responsible penguin, he pulls into the nearest service station and asks the mechanics to take a look. "Sure, penguin," they say. "It'll be a few minutes, why don't you hang out in the ice cream shop next door?" The penguin waddles into the ice cream shop and orders a vanilla ice cream cone. He tries to eat it, but lacking thumbs, he sorta makes a mess of it and gets ice cream all over his face and beak. He waddles back over to the service station after the ice cream cone and asks how it's going. "Well," says the mechanic, "it looks like you blew a seal!" The penguin says "nope, it's just ice cream."
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Jul 21, 2015 14:33
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An old VW beetle is broken down by the side of the road. A tow truck driver spots him and pulls over to help. He goes to the front and pops the hood, and says "here's the problem, your engine's missing!" The VW owner says "It's okay there's a spare in the trunk!"
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Jul 22, 2015 19:04
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LloydDobler posted:An old VW beetle is broken down by the side of the road. A tow truck driver spots him and pulls over to help. He goes to the front and pops the hood, and says "here's the problem, your engine's missing!" The VW owner says "It's okay there's a spare in the trunk!" 
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Jul 22, 2015 21:21
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