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that the whole time this was a metaphor for the economy. You just came up with that yourself? Or maybe do you know something you aren't telling us...? |
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Jul 23, 2015 01:13
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 19:13 |
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[Staring at the prisoner but you can tell I see him as a human and try my best to treat him as such.] You're a poo poo man. A crap evil dude. You probably killed this lady [taps her photo] She's dead. We're sure of that this time. She's dead and you probably did it. You're going to jail for the maximum sentence I hope!
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Jul 23, 2015 01:15
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Watson: Good lord Sherlock Holmes! It seems the murderer made the call from inside the interrogation room. Sherlock: If only the interrogator was a killer. I could tell by the way she walked and her smallish purse that wasn't quite a handbag that she could never kill. The case would be so simple, if only I weren't so smart.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:17
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The prisoner's real dilemma is how to give me that cute little valentines card I just know he's been concealing all day.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:18
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[Smashing my hand down on the thin steel table] Look man! GIve me something to work with! I know you used those forums every day for months on end!
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Jul 23, 2015 01:20
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Uhh, I mean, do you use these forums, as has been alleged against you? I've never heard of them before in my life, let alone used them.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:21
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[To the mirror] Turn off the tape and the cameras. This is off the record. [To the prisoner, getting my face all up close to his. He can smell my coffee breath and he's visibly uncomfortable] So... What did you rate the Fluffie Duckie Newbie Av Shoppe... If it was a five... Well maybe we can work something out.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:23
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Look motherfucker we don't play games here. This is the minor leagues, but it's still a league. I'm gonna get you the full six hours if it kills me.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:27
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Sometimes I have a weird dream where I'm actually the one being interrogated. [Smash cut dream sequence] Did you do it? Did you eat Shawna's tuna sandwich from the work fridge? Her name wasn't on it but you knew it was hers. Did you eat the sandwich? Did you?
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Jul 23, 2015 01:30
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[Walking around the prisoner like a shark] You might wonder why I've dressed like this today. Well Mike's son is having a party later and I owe'd him a favor.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:33
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Oh? You say you we're just being BYOB? Weeds actually a felony and it isn't even BYOB anymore anyway. You're going away for sure.
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Jul 23, 2015 01:36
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[Kicking over the chair] NO. THAT CAN'T BE TRUE. SOUP? FOR BREAKFAST??
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Jul 23, 2015 01:56
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Oh, a tough guy eh? You don't want to talk to me? That's fine. I'm the nice guy here. Here, let's have a drink. *pours two glasses of Laphroaig 20-year* Oh, we can't just drink this straight... *pours cola and ice into both glasses with a sinister grin as the prisoner shudders* |
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Jul 23, 2015 02:01
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[bangs hands on the table] TELL A PHONE? WHAT DID YOU TELL THE PHONE, HERNANDEZ? WHAT?!
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Jul 23, 2015 02:02
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Nyah you can't pin this on me copper. *lights a cig*
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Jul 23, 2015 02:03
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[shakes head as bad cop partner walks into the interrogation room] watch it johnson... he can't teleport, but for all we know, he could still telestarboard
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Jul 23, 2015 02:03
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bacalou posted:[shakes head as bad cop partner walks into the interrogation room] watch it johnson... he can't teleport, but for all we know, he could still telestarboard Lmfao
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Jul 23, 2015 02:04
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Hey jonson, your very gay, in the bad way. *jonson who isn't gay has his feelings hurt.*
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Jul 23, 2015 02:06
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[Badass robo-suit bank robber magnetized to wall] Here's the deal Francois... That suit it worth more than every bank you've hit put together. What's the real motive? [Francois's mask slowly opens, revealing another mask - the Guy Fawkes mask] Ok someone take that off him. Then run him through facial recognition. We have him dead to rights without worrying about motive.
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Jul 23, 2015 02:06
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[Sighing after interrogating supervillains all day] The next time one of these jokers says they did it because they wanted to see the world burn I'm putting icy-hot in their standard prison issue underwear.
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Jul 23, 2015 02:08
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That's assault. You would go to jail .
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Jul 23, 2015 02:12
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but buddhist cop, it doesn't matter if good and bad are subjective. we need to act in accordance with the roles if we want results! what? no, i don't think i'm having trouble living in the moment.
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Jul 23, 2015 02:12
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Considering the location it could be sexual assault.
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Jul 23, 2015 02:12
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[Ignorant cop who accidentally arrested jesus] You're gonna be in jail to the end of days bud. [Jesus sadly nods]
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Jul 23, 2015 02:15
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How about I ask you question you don't have some well planned answer for for a change, hmm? Can God, in his omnipotence, make a rock so big he can't lift it?
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Jul 23, 2015 02:20
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[an interrogator, who is currently working with his psychiatrist on some overly accusatory social habits, sits in front of the prisoner apprehensively] |
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Jul 23, 2015 02:25
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"I actually only came in to tell you we already got a confession from you. Here. *slaps down paper with seemingly flawless signature* You got kinda violent, we had to put you down, I'm sure you don't remember, but I figured, hey, let you know where you stand. You're gonna burn. Have some water, bitch *slams down glass of water*" "Wait..." says the prisoner. The interrogator put the glass down on a loop in the signature. The water and glass form a magnifying lens, showing a dot at the top of the loop. Slowly, the prisoner gets up, and the mouse is now the cat. ---------------- |
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Jul 23, 2015 02:57
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it actually keeps going on like that, the original prisoner makes some logical flaw and is back to being a prisoner, and gains the upper hand, they're making a series of it on the usa network
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Jul 23, 2015 02:58
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Miss Psychosibledst="448064388 posted:[Ignorant cop who accidentally arrthe jesus] You're gonna be in jail to the end of days bud. Its funny cuz its true. Well, not true-true, but in the Bible true |
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Jul 23, 2015 03:00
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*me, flustered* Okay, let's try it another way. 15 gallons of honey in it for you if you confess. Yeah, my buddies's got some hives, he's got a ton of extra fresh local honey this year. That sweeten the deal at all? |
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Jul 23, 2015 03:05
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Lol
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Jul 23, 2015 03:12
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Alright buddy you asked for it. Bringing in my guest interrogator, Jeffrey. He's obsessed with hashtag gamergate. Have fun. |
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Jul 23, 2015 03:42
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It all began innocuously enough, Detective... I was, meeting my friend, Mr. Blankbrickwall. At the Brick And Mortar Club. Next door to an old secondhand shop by ran by Tick Hourhand. They were.. drop... ping by with ceiling tiles. For the club. |
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Jul 23, 2015 03:47
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They were... desk... umm... *sweating* Discrete... disc throwers. That's where they learned to be hitmen, you see. Disc toss gone wrong, took out one of the crowd. It was tragic, Detective. Anyway, we met a fence and his bodyguard, named *leans over to look at the floor for a minute, looking around while biting lip, pops back up* "Mosaic Tile & Plastic Powersocket" |
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Jul 23, 2015 03:52
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Lol
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Jul 23, 2015 03:56
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joke_explainer posted:Alright buddy you asked for it. Bringing in my guest interrogator, Jeffrey. He's obsessed with hashtag gamergate. Have fun. [Sternly] Look Son, I know your Dad may have been killed by this madman... But there's lines you don't cross. Weird twitter is a better match for this perp anyway.
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Jul 23, 2015 03:58
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@Inter-o-gator posted:Confess lest [Sudden dubstep takes over the room] I crank up this dance party! Dancing so bad it'll make you confess. Watch these moves. [Trips, falls.]
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Jul 23, 2015 04:00
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Miss Psychosis posted:[Sternly] Look Son, I know your Dad may have been killed by this madman... But there's lines you don't cross. Weird twitter is a better match for this perp anyway. U guilty? who cares man. Got new RV w/ chem toilet and rdy for adventure. #safewayparkinglot #urcomingwithme |
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Jul 23, 2015 04:03
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joke_explainer posted:U guilty? who cares man. Got new RV w/ chem toilet and rdy for adventure. #safewayparkinglot #urcomingwithme [Carting large blue drum from the evidence locker] Just dusting for prints chief. #EpicJobQuits
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Jul 23, 2015 04:06
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| # ? Apr 18, 2024 19:13 |
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You been in here three months, kid? Yeah? Guess you ain't heard anything about the new season of Game of Thrones. Hm, what to tell you about... let's take it slow, hahah. Feel free to speak up at any time. Let's start with how Hodor died. |
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Jul 23, 2015 07:59
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